Freak
by BlueberryGoneRed
Summary: Dean is a member of a traveling carnival troupe. One summer, he falls for his manager's pregnant niece and he quickly becomes a protector to her and the unborn child.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: This is a re-post of a story I transferred from another account. I was inspired by an original story I wrote ten years ago to re-write it with Dean as a main character. This is primarily a male/female relationship with additional male/female and male/male couples featured in later chapters. I packed this story with dozens of wrestlers so there should be something for everyone. It is a modern, alternate universe story that was originally based upon a 2-novel series. I will combine the 2 original novels to make a single, long-running story.

1:

There were so many moments that led up to this day. Some of them I've forgotten, some of them are still as fresh in my mind as if they happened a minute ago. I always play it out like a movie, watching the pictures and people and events in my imagination, sometimes changing the scenes so they fit better or changing what I said or did so it would have a different outcome. Doesn't matter what really happened or what was said or done, because it all happened the way it did.

Today was the day that I would leave my home, my parents, and everything I had behind because I made a mistake for the first time in my life and I was being punished for the rest of it.

I could go on and on about the the moments up until now, but it would probably just sound confusing. To sum it up in a simpler way, I was a seventeen-year-old high school student raised by overly religious and sexually repressed parents. I knew what they considered the ultimate sin and yet I couldn't stop myself when I met the first guy who paid attention to me.

Seth Rollins was a nice guy with amazingly soft blue eyes and a pocket protector. He said hi to me once, and I couldn't get over that damned perfect smile that seemed to magnify when he looked at me. My parents will tell you differently, but the fact of the matter is that I jumped Seth. He confessed that he had been with one girl before me, and I confessed I hadn't been with a guy and I needed someone to try things on. We shared a night together that was at least for me a painful, awkward, and mostly embarrassing experience.

I knew enough to understand the consequences of sex, besides that I would be damned for all eternity like my parents wanted me to believe. I told Seth to use a condom and he did. Turns out fate decided that my first and only act of rebellion would be met with the ultimate consequence, and after getting sick and missing my period, I hitched a ride to the next county to find a doctor who wouldn't tell my parents and he revealed the ugly truth: I was pregnant.

Sadly, even a doctor in another county has no meaning for privacy in small towns. My parents got wind of the _tragedy_. I told Seth what happened before anyone else did, and he was willing to help me and even marry me if it came to that. My father was just so irrationally angry and he turned everyone against Seth. He and his parents were driven out of town. I thought I would never see him again and it broke my heart.

Hefram Chapfield is my father. He's a buzz cut, brown eyed, straight-faced religious type complete with the dark clothing, the permanent stink eye and the tall looming figure. My mother Abbey has the same long brunette hair, sleek features and brown eyes that I do. I always thought she could've been a journalist or a photographer, not the quiet and innocent wife of a man that everyone in our religion feared, and everyone non-religious in our town despised. He always said pessimistic things about everything, and frankly I never got along with him, nor did I really see him as a father to me. The only time he ever said anything nice was when he told my mom, "That dress defines your figure as less plump than the other things you wear."

I had no other family, except for my uncle that came to visit when I was a kid. He was my father's brother, Trumbly, his name equally as odd as his personality. I always wondered what my grandparents were thinking when they picked their kid's names. Trumbly was pessimistic like my father, but not as religious and daunting. Trumbly had soft green eyes which I found to be more appealing and trustworthy than my dad's. They were brothers but Trumbly was the opposite of my father. Trumbly worked for the traveling Carnival.

Trumbly & Reinhearst was a Big Top Carnival. It was created by my uncle and a business partner in the early 1970s, and even though modern times don't speak to the Carnival world like it did back then, apparently my uncle made enough money to matter because my father's strict religious and personal views were minimized when my uncle visited, and I noticed that our money troubles always got better for several months after he left.

My uncle wasn't outwardly strange, if you didn't count his 6'5 stature an oddity, but he still gave himself the _Carny Freak_ title because he had an extraordinary talent for imitating just about any sound known to man. He was also good at imitating voices, much to my amusement as a little girl, and he would tell me stories at bedtime about some of the wild adventures he got into and the amazing people he met. He never once brought those people to visit me, probably due to my father's insistence.

When I turned fourteen, my uncle stopped coming to visit, but whenever we struggled, the bills suddenly got paid. I don't know if my father talked to my uncle about what had happened to me, or if the decision was made spur of the moment, but five months into my pregnancy, my parents sat me down and my father explained that I was an abomination and I would be sent to live with Trumbly. My father hated follow-up questions so he usually answered before anything could be asked, but he made no mention of how long I would be gone, and that was a very obvious sign to me that my new location may be permanent.

I lived in Georgia, and my uncle lived in Tennessee, so the car ride up there was a long one filled with awkward silences and frequent bathroom trips on my part. I cried in the stall at one of the gas stations. That was all the emotion I could spare for leaving my parents, my school, and my life behind. I didn't have any real friends to write back to. I didn't have much to show for an education either, and I was actually kind of excited to be with my uncle. My father apparently saw this idea as the worst punishment he could possibly give to me, and I let him believe that because I didn't want to know where else he would plan to send me.

My uncle had a nice house at the end of a really long dirt road in the middle of nowhere. He used to tell me that he needed lots of rooms in his mansion because traveling Carnies stayed with him all the time. He never told me, but I learned from researching on the library computer that Carnies were usually made up of homeless people that were banished by or running away from their families, and I liked to think that my uncle took those people in and gave them a life where they were accepted. I wondered what they would think of me, being an outcast like them. Would they hate me for not being a talented show-person like they were? Would they banish me too? If there was anyplace I wanted to belong, it would be with my uncle, because he was all the hope I had left.

When my father pulled up to the big white house it was humid, quiet and drenched in shadows from the giant Willow trees around it. I kind of felt like I was on a farm, except that the house looked decent despite its old age and the yard was fairly well kept. When I got out of the car, I saw an elephant in the yard chained to a rusted iron pole, and I noticed a giant clown shoe was hanging out of one of the windowsills at the side of the house. There were a lot of trucks and old caravans off to one side, some of them looking like they didn't run anymore. I also noticed a portion of a Ferris Wheel sticking out of the ground a short way from the house. It looked broken and rusted but there were several tool boxes scattered around it like it was being repaired.

"Liz! Oh Liz, welcome!" Uncle Trumbly shouted from the front door.

I hadn't realized he was even standing there until he yelled. He looked like a tall and lanky alien as he rushed down the ten front steps and scooped me up into an awkward bear hug. I was only 5'5 and pregnant, so I felt like a fat puppy underneath his huge hands. He smelled like onions and engine oil that had been sitting in the sun too long. It was a nice breath to take in for me, not because it was particularly pleasant but because it was something different.

Trumbly put me down and shook hands with my father, then he shook hands with mother. I hadn't really thought about it until then that he never hugged my mother. She smiled and quickly took her hand away. Then, she looked down at the ground like she regretted that he hadn't hugged her. I wondered if my mother was as desperate to be touched as I was when I took my first kiss from Seth in exchange for letting him do whatever he wanted to me. It sounded dirty at the time, but Seth really didn't have a whole lot of ideas on what he wanted to do, and he was too worried about me to think of anything too wild.

My father leaned in and whispered something to Trumbly that I didn't hear. I was sure it was probably something along the lines of, _"Take care of her. Don't let her sin. When she gives birth to the bastard child spawn of evil, make sure it goes to a barren but loving family and don't let her lay eyes on another male until she's married."_

I was actually a little surprised when my father took my suitcases out of the trunk, placed them on the steps, and took my mom back to the car without talking to me or staying for a while. Trumbly didn't seem the least bit confused by it, so I assumed my father _did_ have some underlying unease toward his own brother and kept him at arm's length. My father got into the car without looking at me or saying good-bye, but my mother stopped and turned to face me. She smiled warmly for a few lingering seconds before she got in the car, and I think I saw her wave to me before my father pulled away. I was suddenly aware that I was being left alone wearing nothing but a faded oversize pink dress and carrying two suitcases stuffed with old clothes and wrinkled underwear.

"Let's get you inside before it rains," Uncle Trumbly stated, grabbing my suitcases. I looked up at the sky, but there was barely a cloud. My uncle's pessimism was different from my dad's in that Trumbly was almost funny when he made unappreciative statements that normally didn't make any sense and weren't directed at anyone in particular.

I followed my uncle inside and found once I got through the door that the place was between a cluttered mess and middle class housing. I could smell some casserole from the kitchen to my left, but when I glanced through the open doorway, I could only see the dining room. It was complete with a huge wooden table and dozens of chairs. Some of the chairs were around the table and other chairs were lined up along the wall. Straight ahead was a large winding flight of stairs. To my right was a family room with a giant flat screen—the only thing in the room that looked new–and a huge brown couch covered in various cross-stitched and quilted blankets of all colors and sizes. I noticed the TV was on in the family room and there were three little people watching it. I thought they were children until I noticed the man in the center had a cane and the woman to his right was wearing a pair of white silk lady gloves.

Trumbly was already halfway up the stairs and I attempted to follow him as quickly as possible without hurting myself. Trumbly turned abruptly to the right at the top of the stairs, and I had to glance around as fast as possible to take in everything. There were probably two dozen rooms on the first floor. Most of the doors were closed, but I could hear some muffled classical music coming from one and I was sure there was a hissing sound coming from another.

"Move fast, move fast! Don't want you to be late, now," Trumbly hurried me along by once again using his illogical pessimism as if we really were missing out on something.

I immediately smelled incense when he reached the end of the hall of doors on the right side and Trumbly turned sharply to the left. I suddenly found us entering yet another hallway. There were a dozen rooms on either side of this hall as well, but they were all much darker and quieter and I wondered if anyone even lived back here. Trumbly reached the end of the hall and started up what should have been a flight of stairs but the stairwell had been converted into a dark blue ramp with a sketchy wooden railing. It was sturdy but kept me at an angle when I walked up after my uncle. He reached the single dark blue door at the top of the ramp. There was an peep hole on the door. I found that odd since I hadn't noticed a peep hole in the other doors we passed.

Trumbly knocked twice and I noticed his hand was shaking a bit. I observed some gray hairs on the side of his short blond cut and it made me realize that time was catching up with him.

"Dean, my niece is here!" Trumbly shouted, then he opened the door without waiting for this Dean person to come and open it for him.

There was a strong rush of hot air when my uncle opened the door. I almost fell backward from the strength of the heat and humidity when I stepped inside. The room was musty even though there were three wide open windows to the left. I saw two beds on either side of the room, one framed with cheaper old metal that leaned a little to one side and one with more sturdy black iron. The beds were made with old quilts and two pillows each. Trumbly moved swiftly to the iron bed and put my suitcases down on it.

I noticed an open door across from the cheaply framed bed that led to a bathroom. I could see the shower curtain from where I was standing. I noticed the shower curtain was also blue, and I wondered if this Dean person really liked that color. There was an antique vanity dresser against the wall to my left with a huge mirror and an odd display of makeups and powders on one side. There were combs, razors, shaving cream, towels and two blow dryers on the other side.

I breathed in through the humidity and caught the scent of water. I also realized at that moment that some of the heat was coming from the open door of the bathroom, like someone had just taken a shower. My uncle breezed past me and stated before he left me alone, "Got paperwork to do and no time to do it! Supper is at eight!"

He slammed the door shut before I could ask him what time it was now. Judging from the hot summer sun still perched high in the sky out the window, it would be hours before I saw a meal. I clutched my stomach and wondered if I should've told Trumbly I hadn't eaten anything. I sat down on the side of the iron bed and a male voice from the bathroom called out to me, "You Liz?"

The voice sounded thick and handsome. I couldn't help but find it humorous that my uncle would choose to leave me with a male when my father probably proclaimed that I should be isolated and away from all human contact. I answered the voice, "Yes, I am."

A man did step out from the bathroom, and at first, I thought he was in costume.

He was completely covered from head to toe in long, thick brown hair, except for the outline of his lips and his pair of big blue eyes. I knew he was completely covered because he was totally naked, but I couldn't see anything indecent under all that hair as he walked over to the vanity and grabbed a brush. His hair was mostly dry except for the top of his head and he used the brush to settle the stray mess. He proceeded to brush his chest and shoulders, and I knew for sure he wasn't wearing a costume.

I watched him while I moved my feet in circular motions so they wouldn't swell. In certain parts of the room, when the light was hitting him just right, the man my uncle called Dean could actually be seen underneath his body of hair. He was very well built in front and from what I could see of his backside. He caught me looking and turned to face me, asking, "Does it bother you? I could put something on."

He sounded like I had every right to be agitated with him. Like people told him all the time he was an anomaly of nature and he shouldn't expose himself. His concern seemed more appropriate to the massive amounts of body hair than to the fact that he was by all technical terms naked. I shook my head and asked, "You have that condition, right? Where the hair grows all over the body?"

He didn't seem upset that I was asking the obvious, but answered kindly, "Yeah. Don't call me names like _Wolf-Man_ or _Animal_ or any of that crap, 'cause I get enough of that from the general public."

I nodded that I understood and Dean opened a drawer from the vanity. He pulled out a pair of jeans to put on and asked, "Want me to show you around?"

"Yes!" I answered excitedly.

:-:

I was thinking Dean would introduce me to everybody and we'd venture into every room of the mansion, which sounded more fun than sitting upstairs until dinner, but Dean's idea of "showing around" wasn't all that exciting. He started with the floor just before our room where I thought very few people were staying.

He took me into one of the rooms with a broken and rusted letter _B_ hanging off to one side of the dark green door. When we entered, I saw a small bed in the corner and an end table with a basin and a broken mirror on the right side. An ancient looking man sitting in a rocking chair by the slim open window to the left was almost unnoticeable. The man didn't turn to face us, nor did he even seem to be aware that he was alive.

"This is Paul Bearer. He was like, some legend with burying himself alive and coming back in the thirties. He accidentally blinded himself in an accident on stage and set fire to his tent, killing three people and his own wife. He went into this trance like state and hasn't been out since."

I gasped and thought of how awful it would be to kill somebody you love, when Dean snickered at me and said, "I'm just kidding. He's blind because of cataracts and I think his wife died of pneumonia or something."

Dean received a spiteful glare from me, which only made him laugh again, but Paul didn't look our way, so I asked, "Is he really in a trance?"

Coming to sit on Paul's bedside so he could get a better look, Dean answered, "Yeah, from what anyone can tell. Trumbly thinks he had a stroke or something, because Paul just woke up one day and he was like this. I heard he really was a legend with getting out of coffins, but I never got to see his show. Trumbly swears Paul really could beat death, like he had made a deal with the devil or something."

I observed Paul from the opposite side of Dean, and I could see the old man was completely unaware of our presence by all outside appearances. I mentioned, "Maybe he needs to get some."

Dean snorted and asked me, "What?!"

"This girl at school, her mother worked in a nursing home, and her mother would say that the old men were either really raunchy or totally catatonic because they didn't get any," I explained.

"You do know what _any_ is, right?" Dean asked, leaning forward.

I scoffed and pointed at my belly while shouting, "Of course I do!"

Dean observed my point and went on, "Well, I'd get him a lady, but the ladies don't really like me."

He glanced down at his long haired body. I thought he looked like a handsome werewolf, but I didn't say it out loud.

Trying to make Dean feel better, I sighed and replied, "I would do it with Paul, but _getting any_ is the whole reason I'm here."

Dean forgot about his self-esteem for a minute and gawked at me, asking, "You would _do it_ with a thousand-year-old man?"

I shrugged, saying, "He's not _that_ old! Besides, I don't want to be one of those choosy snobs."

Dean smiled at me, and I got a sense that he was really warming up to me. The moment was about to turn cheesy so I blurted out, "Oh my God! I have an idea!"

I stepped in front of Paul's line of vision. Dean watched me intently while I explained, "Maybe Paul just needs a look and he'll be fine. I'm like, huge right now because my top is growing with the baby!"

Dean made a confused expression and I pulled down the straps of my dress and my bra to reveal my overly developed upper half. I had noticed the drastic change in top size as the baby was growing. With not much to show before and now having what the guys at school referred to as a "decent rack" made me want to show it off to someone, even if it were a catatonic old man.

There was a long minute of silence where Dean's eyes nearly popped out of his head and his mouth dropped open almost to the floor, but Paul didn't make a move.

"Damn it! He's not doing anything," I stomped my foot and frowned.

"Sweet," Dean sighed, smiling broadly while he checked me out.

I saw Dean's big blue eyes consume me like a steak dinner and I covered up, suddenly feeling self-conscious. Dean cleared his throat and composed himself, saying, "Sorry, I shouldn't have been staring at you like that."

I was about to tell him it was no big deal when Paul burst into a fit of dusty laughter. Dean and I forgot about our awkward moment and starting laughing with Paul. He didn't get up and move but just kept laughing, and after over a minute of constant guffaws, Dean and I looked at each other like maybe we had made a mistake.

Dean stood up and took me by the arm, leading me out of the room. I asked when we were safely in the hallway again, "Is he going to be okay?"

"I think so," Dean said as he closed the door, but we could still hear Paul's muffled laughter as we walked away.

"I want you to meet Naomi," Dean said, and he led me down to the end of the hall.

He knocked on another blue door that was heavily damaged. It looked like someone had tried to expand the frame from the sides and built a handmade version of a door to put in the rounded out frame. When a woman's voice said, "Come in," and Dean opened the door, I saw the reason for the expansion.

This room had no obvious furniture, just an open window to my left. The reason was that most of the room was filled with person. _A_ person, to be exact. The dark skinned woman with a lovely smile and even lovelier eyes was larger than any person I had ever encountered before. There were signs of a bed underneath her and she was wearing a beautiful floral dress that covered most of her body except for her face and arms.

"Naomi, this is Trumbly's niece Liz," Dean said, motioning to me.

I glanced back at him, and Dean stepped off to one side to let Naomi get a better look at me. I noticed that he was still acting a little awkward since I had caught him staring at me in Paul's room.

"Hello, child! Come and give Naomi a hug," she said.

I happily stepped forward and Naomi enveloped me in a warm hug. Being up close to her, I could smell the scent of daffodils, and I noticed that she was wearing some lipstick and blue eye shadow. She let me go and observed me up and down, saying, "Aw, you look very beautiful, girl!"

My cheeks grew hot as I admitted, "Actually, I just feel kind of fat."

Naomi and Dean both looked at me, and I realized my condescending words. I tried to correct myself, saying, "I mean, not that fat is bad...I just...I don't..."

"Don't try to correct yourself, I know what you mean! Such a shame your parents would abandon you over a miracle of life," Naomi said kindly.

I smiled and remarked sarcastically, "Yeah well, my dad believes that if that miracle of life is done out of wedlock, it's not a miracle at all."

Naomi shook her head and clicked her tongue, saying, "Well now, you won't find that kind of treatment around here, Liz. Anyone treats you any less than a miracle, and you come straight to me or Dean here, and we'll set 'em straight."

Dean smiled at Naomi, then looked away when he caught me looking at him. I was imagining what it would be like to have him as a personal bodyguard. It felt nice.

"We should go now, I've got some more stuff to show Liz," Dean said, and he took me by the arm again, gently leading me out.

I waved good-bye to Naomi and she called to me, "Come back and see me now, 'lizabeth! I love hearing all the gossip going on around here!"

When we were out in the hallway again, I asked Dean, "What did she mean when she said you would set people straight? Would you like, kick someone's ass if they called me names or something? Are you some kind of a black belt fighter or a self-defense know-it-all?"

Dean laughed under his breath and answered mysteriously, "I guess you could say that."

I became more interesting, asking, "Really? You could beat someone up for me?"

Dean just started laughing and wouldn't answer me. He seemed to be more amused by my intrigue than anything. We reached the end of the second hallway and I looked over and noticed a young woman about my age standing at the top of the stairs. She was beautiful, with long curly blond locks, a set of piercing eyes and one unexpected thing: She had a long and braided beard.

Her beard stood out against the teal ballroom dress she was wearing. At first glance, I thought she was wearing a necklace of some kind, so I concentrated a little too closely. Her piercing eyes narrowed sharply. She shouted at me from where she was standing a few yards away, "What the _hell_ are you looking at?!"

I was startled by her tenacity and I took a step back. Dean told the girl in a more irritated tone, "Charlotte, this is Trumbly's niece, Liz. He told us she was coming today and she's never been around people like us before, remember?"

Charlotte softened up a lot when Dean spoke, and I noticed that she had some feelings for him. I didn't get to look at Dean to see whether he shared those feelings or not before Charlotte started on me again, "She was staring at me like I'm some kind of a _FREAK_!"

Dean scoffed and replied, "Charlotte, we are freaks."

She pointed at me demonstratively and wailed like a true soap opera star, "I am NOT a FREAK when I'm NOT working, and I REFUSE to be looked at as such in MY OWN HOME!"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you. I just thought you were wearing a necklace," I tried to recover.

That only made Charlotte more upset, and she countered quickly, "Oh, so you are so put off by my beard that you would rather it be something else?! Is that it?!"

I shook my head, but couldn't come up with the words to stop Charlotte's onslaught. Dean sighed heavily and replied, "Charlotte, you're putting words into Liz's mouth. Miz told you to work on that in our last group session."

Charlotte ignored Dean and put her hands on her hips, shouting, "Oh great! Now she's going to think I'm an unstable _freak_ because I go to therapy!"

"What? No! I..." was all that would come out of my mouth.

Dean took me by the arm and pulled me away with a little more strength than he had been using before. I followed him with no problem, not wanting to hear Charlotte continue her tirade against me. When we were safely back down the hallway, Dean said, "I think that's enough showing around for one day. You'll be meeting most of the folks here during supper anyway."

He didn't sound very excited when he said that, and I began to wonder what was in store for mealtime with a house full of such diverse and sometimes overly sensitive people. Maybe my father was right, and this place was the worst punishment he could've dealt.


	2. Chapter 2

2:

Dean warned me before we went downstairs to supper that, "Not everyone comes out of their rooms to go to dinner, and there's a reason for that."

The reason was because supper was like watching a badly timed sitcom featuring dozens of mismatched characters surrounded by various foods in limited supply. Dean kept me a safe distance from some of the noisy types, like the cologne drenched man in clown makeup who settled himself halfway on the table and halfway on the back of a chair. He tried to get my attention by graphically describing an incident where he received "unrequited" jail time and what he referred to as, "Cock-in-mouth disease."

Dean said the clown's name was Jericho and I was warned, "If he asks, don't get him any alcohol."

It looked like he'd already found some.

The next characters were two men dressed in spandex like they were preparing for an acrobatic routine. They managed to maneuver around Dean to hug me and welcome me into the family. I was reminded of the gay community in my hometown by their body language and soft-spoken words. My father had strong opinions about sex, and even stronger opinions against gay and lesbian sexuality. I was surprised to discover that once again my uncle was allowing me to be exposed to people my father would have burned at the stake if he had the power. I was beginning to wonder if my uncle were throwing out my father's rules because he didn't care, or if he were deliberately letting me step over the boundaries my father had for me.

Matt was the first gay man, and he pronounced his name like M-A-W-T. He had a charismatic and mysterious thing going for him. The second was Jeffrey, pronounced like JEFF-RAY. He was more of the baby face type with a curious little smile. When they sat down to eat, both Matt and Jeff would gesture quickly with their hands and they would cry out in dramatic horror whenever Jericho the clown shouted something derogatory or screamed out another one of his twisted stories.

Miz, the man that Dean had mentioned earlier when we were getting away from Charlotte, came into the room with the three little people I saw when I first came in. The little people were a man and two women, and they introduced themselves to me along with Miz. The little man was named Dylan, but I noticed some people were calling him Hornswaggle. He walked with a cane and moved slowly when he shook my hand and took his seat. The little woman with the lady gloves was his wife, Lydia. She had glittery brown eyes and a sweet face. The other little woman called herself Mable. She didn't mention a relation to Lydia or Dylan but she stayed with them all through dinner.

The man that introduced himself as Miz was a young and mysterious figure. He appeared to be closer to my age but he observed others and spoke like he was much older than he looked. I noticed his eyes seemed to glow and get wider when he phrased certain words like, " _Hello_ ," and, " _Certainly_."

Miz had a long mane of deep violet hair and he wore a black shimmering cloak. He took his seat close to Matt and Jeff. Dean whispered to me, "Miz has a degree in psychology, so he serves as a therapist to the house during group sessions each week, but he's a magician by trade. His tricks are amazing. Trumbly says it's because Miz has psychic abilities."

Uncle Trumbly came in later, but he didn't stay long. He took some rolls and fruit and waved an apple in my direction. I waved back and he called at me through the sea of people, "Are you well?"

I nodded back at him. He shouted something else but I couldn't hear him. He took a snapping bite of his apple and dissolved into the people. I was disappointed he didn't come to sit next to me. When most of us were settled and we started to eat, it was like a madhouse. People kept coming in from the hallway and grabbing food, sometimes reaching for other people's plates or snatching things out of their hands. Dean didn't introduce me to those who came in and out so I assumed I would formally meet them another time. A few of them reached for my plate, but Dean would give them a warning glare and they would immediately back off. I was glad to have him there because I would have let them take everything I had.

The only person any of these residents didn't mess with was Dean and Miz. Everyone and everything else was off limits. Some would shout horrible things at each other or at the people walking in and out. Some would throw food or smear it on themselves and swear out loud like Jericho kept doing, and some would stand up in their chair or get up on the table and belch or scream loudly. Any food that wasn't eaten got smashed into the floor or on the table if it didn't already land on the wall or out the window. I learned that by keeping my head down, I couldn't see some of the people flashing one another and shouting curse riddled statements while they practically inhaled their food.

Charlotte came in when I was over half done with my plate. The hateful accusations she had launched against me during our first encounter kept me guessing about her true personality. Judging from the spiteful glare Charlotte gave me when she sat down near Miz, she was not the type to forgive and forget.

The more Charlotte stared at me, the more uncomfortable I got. I finished the rest of my food a little more quickly than I wanted to and asked Dean, "Could we go back upstairs?"

He nodded and took me gently by the arm, leading me away from the noise and the turmoil without picking up our plates or even finishing his own meal. I felt bad to see that I had interrupted him, but there was no going back. Some people by the wall pounced on the food before we were even out of the room.

"Should we offer to wash dishes?" I asked when we were headed upstairs again.

Dean gave me an inquiring look and I explained with more detail, "My father is very serious about cleaning up the table after supper. It is...it _was_ like a tradition for my mom and I to do dishes together."

He looked away from me, and I saw a flash of sympathy for me in Dean's eyes before it disappeared again and he said, "We have some people that clean up for us. Don't call them servants, they get paid a lot to do the work and they're very proud of it."

"Oh, right," I answered quietly, thinking to myself how hard it must be to clean up a mess like I had just witnessed.

I climbed into bed and fell asleep almost immediately. I dreamed about the activity surrounding dinner but began having more of a nightmare about people chasing after me and trying to pull my clothes off. I could even feel them grabbing at my hair and trying to pull it out. I dreamed that my feet were on fire and I couldn't run away because it hurt so much.

I opened my eyes to the morning light filling the room and I realized that it was only a dream and no one was after me. My feet still felt like they were on fire. I didn't look down at them right away because I heard a female voice in the room. I was on my back at an angle and my blanket was still covering me enough so that whoever was there didn't know I was awake. I looked over and saw Dean standing in front of the vanity naked again. He was brushing his thick chest hair and I recognized Charlotte standing beside him.

She was saying something to him in a sensual way and he kept muttering something back to her under his breath to make her giggle coyly. I hadn't realized how sexy Charlotte was until I saw her standing by Dean. She had a doll like way about her as she leaned back and held her hands together. I felt the onslaught of self-depreciating thoughts flowing through my mind when I compared my pregnant and inexperienced self to such a knockout.

Charlotte poked Dean playfully in the arm and he laughed smoothly. She moved to his ribs and poked him again, then she poked his hip and I could see him smiling in the mirror's reflection like he was enjoying Charlotte's little flirtatious game.

Charlotte unexpectedly reached around Dean's front and took his crotch in her right palm. Instead of getting excited or laughing again, this time Dean moved quicker than my eyes could see and had Charlotte by her wrist, pulling her away from his manhood with one hand while he held fast to her neck with his other.

She winced like she was in pain, but I didn't think Dean was actually using too much pressure on her. I was still shocked at how fast he moved. He looked Charlotte straight in the eye with a stoic expression and told her, "I have _warned_ you twice before about doing that. I will _not_ warn you again."

"Let go, I get it," Charlottte pleaded.

Dean held her a couple of seconds longer to let his words sink in, then he finally let her go. Charlotte grabbed her wrist and rubbed it while she whimpered like a beaten puppy, then an eerily sadistic smile crossed her face when Dean turned away from her. I could tell that she had remembered his warnings but provoked him anyway, and she seemed to enjoy the violence that it brought on.

My feet caught my attention again. They still felt like they were on fire as I pulled the blankets away and looked down at them. I saw the reason for the pain coming from my thong sandals, which I had forgotten to take off before getting into bed.

"Oh no!" I shouted, and Dean and Charlotte both turned to look at me.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked with a sense of concern, while Charlotte frowned like she hadn't remembered I was there.

"I forgot to take my sandals off last night, and now my feet are swollen and I'll never get them off!" I wailed, trying to sit up straighter but my big belly was in the way.

Dean grabbed a pair of metal scissors from the vanity and came over to help me. Charlotte suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. I shouted at her, "Don't laugh at me! It's not funny!"

She put her hand over her mouth but it didn't stifle her laughter much. Dean turned to her with in a warning glare and stated, " _Stop_ laughing."

Charlotte immediately ceased, like she was a robot controlled by Dean's every word. He sat down on my bed and took my right foot gently in his hands, placing it sideways in his lap so he could get underneath my shoe, then he aimed the scissors.

"Wait!" I shouted, and Dean looked at me curiously.

"If you cut up my shoes, I'll have to walk around in bare feet because I don't have another pair!" I explained.

Dean half-smiled at me and replied as if I should've known already, "Liz, your uncle has plenty of money to get you a new pair of shoes. In fact, I hear Miz wants to take you to the store with Tamina so you can get some new clothes today."

"Who's Tamina?" I asked as Dean began cutting my shoes off.

Dean didn't have the chance to answer my question. Charlotte stomped the ground like an angry child and shouted, "How come she gets to go with Miz and Tamina?! I've been asking for two weeks and _nobody_ will take me!"

Dean calmly replied, "Charlotte, you already know the reason why you can't go shopping in town, anymore."

Charlotte stared at him with her mouth hanging open. I wanted to ask what the reason was as I instinctively glanced at Charlotte's beard. My look would prove to be a mistake, because Charlotte caught me and screamed, "YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING FOR ME!"

She rushed out the door and I could hear her wailing all the way down the ramp and down the hallway until her cries were muffled by distance. Dean finished removing my shoes and placed my feet on the floor. He took me gently by the arm and helped me up to my feet. I let out a frustrated sigh and said sarcastically, "I think Charlotte and I are going to make _great_ enemies."

"Don't let her get to you. She has no social concept and she answers every situation with rage and high emotion. Even if you did everything exactly the way she asked you to, it wouldn't be right."

I knew I was getting too personal, but I couldn't help asking, "Are you two like, together?"

Dean didn't answer me the way I had hoped, but instigated a question of his own, "Would you think of me differently if we were?"

"No," I murmured, and Dean let go of me and started walking out the door, saying, "Then why does it matter unless you're interested in me?"

He didn't turn back to examine the obvious answer to his question on my red face, and I was glad for that. I rushed after Dean when I heard his footsteps on the ramp, hoping to stay close to him like the night before. We were going to breakfast and I had no idea how much it would be like supper. It turned out to be _more_ chaotic, especially when someone brought out a whole tub of bacon from the kitchen and hands were grabbing from all directions.

I hid behind Dean until the hands were gone. I realized too late that I had missed out on the bacon run. Dean had a couple of pieces in his hand and he put them on my plate. I shook my head and started to give them back but he stated, "For the baby."

I was flattered but I also knew that a loss was a loss and I tried to hand the bacon back. I told him, "I didn't earn these."

He pushed the bacon away and replied, "You didn't know that was going to happen. Consider this a freebie, but next time you're on your own."

I was slowly becoming more aware of Dean's control issues, which he was good at masking behind kind gestures and a seemingly zen attitude. I ate the bacon, mostly because I was really hungry, but I made a mental note that I would not be like Charlotte and obey Dean like a robot.

:-:

Dean didn't have time to tell me who Tamina was before I was approached after breakfast by two dark haired female carnies. They took me upstairs and helped me get dressed and let me borrow another pair of sandals. They took me by each arm and escorted me outside. I saw several people and waved as we passed. Some waved back. Others crouched down and took off like they didn't want to be seen.

The humidity was already high and the sun was blazing as I stepped out into the light. I saw Miz in front of a classic T-Ford. There was a tall and well built woman by the passenger door. I was reminded of a field trip in fourth grade when my class walked past a man wearing a dress and one of the male students informed me, "That dude's dressed up as a lady! Chick's got a rooster!"

I learned much later that " _rooster_ " was my school's code word for _penis._ Whenever they used the word, the only thing that would pop into my head was the image of a red feathered animal perched on top of a barn calling out to the sunrise.

Tamina let me sit in the middle. Dean didn't come with us and I felt sort of anxious leaving him behind. I missed my uncle and I wanted him to be the one to take me shopping, but it seemed like he was very busy.

"So what's going to be the name for the baby?" Tamina asked in a surprisingly tender voice that didn't match her huge biceps.

"Well...I had three antique dolls once, and they were my favorite toys. I named one of them Two-Fifty because she cost $2.50 at the flea market, then the other was named Paper, for what reason I don't remember, and the third was named Stamp because she still had some of that sticker residue on her forehead."

Miz looked away from the dirt road to stare at me incredulously as he asked, "You want to name your child _Two-Fifty Paper Stamp_?" 

"Oh no, I meant that..." I began.

"That is no name for a child," Tamina countered before I could finish.

I tried to recover, "I actually had a stuffed bear named No Name too, but really, I was just using my story as an example that I'm not good with names."

There was a short pause before Miz asked, "Well, did you get your stuffed bear a name?"

Tamina burst into a fit of laughter bordering on choking, and I couldn't help laughing a little myself, if anything to ease the tension I was feeling being stuck in the middle with the stick shift jammed between my legs and pushing my dress up like I had the world's biggest _stiffy_.

We pulled into a very small town a couple of minutes later, and Tamina still hadn't stopped laughing. Everything was laid out in a row down the center of main street. A series of shops seemed closed despite a car or two parked in various locations to bring about some sense that there was a population to speak of. Miz stopped in front of a clothing store ironically named _The Popular Stop_ and Tamina helped me out of the truck.

I took a look around and caught sight of a group of boys my age a short way down the street. They were loitering on the sidewalk. One of them had a skateboard in hand while another twirled a lit cigarette between his fingers like he didn't care if it might burn him. A third one was walking faster than the other two and he kept moving his hands in and out of his pockets. He turned to look at me while I was staring and we locked eyes.

He half-smiled and I flushed completely.

"Lizzy, we should get inside," Tamina held out her hand for me.

The smiling guy glanced at Tamina and his half-smile fell. He looked back at me with a confused expression like he wanted to ask what I was doing with someone like her.

I had been in town for two minutes and already I had become a piece of gossip. I put my head down and let Tamina take my hand to lead me inside, knowing that my uncle had probably signed me up for school and I would have to face half-smile guy and all his skateboarding, smoking friends soon enough. Maybe I would start negotiations for homeschooling while there was still time.

:-:

Miz and Tamina were better at shopping than I was. They let me try on clothes and they helped me pick out the best styles. I was used to wearing dresses so that's mostly what I got, but they also bought me maternity jeans with a spandex waist. I knew it wasn't the style anymore, but I planned to wear some of my dresses over my jeans.

Tamina picked out a perfect pair of comfortable tennis shoes for me to wear and then we were off to the beauty shop for a haircut and a new style. I didn't see half-smile guy or his friends when we went back out to the sidewalk. I did think I saw him pass the beauty shop window while I was getting my hair done. The beautician cutting my hair was a tall, gray skinned man who kept lunging at me with his scissors. He would take clips of my hair and toss it away with a loud, "Huh-Hah!" as if it were alive and trying to kill him. It was freaky, but Tamina was laughing and Miz was smiling with amusement so I assumed the guy was putting on some kind of a show just to tease me.

"No dear, he's really like that. A brilliant stylist but a tragically senile old fool," Tamina informed me when I sat down in the makeup chair, later. I couldn't help feeling anxious about my next appointment with him.

Once my makeup was finished by a Korean artist with a sweet face, Tamina had me put on my new yellow dress. I came out to look in the mirror and I was amazed at how good I looked. My father was so adamant about makeup being a form of indecency, so I had never experienced the powdered face until now. I sighed at my reflection and said, "I feel like..."

"A woman? Well, you should after all that?" Tamina finished, bursting into another fit of laughter.

:-:

We parked on the dirt lot in front of the house and I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness wondering what the others would think of my new look. Miz had bought me a pastry at some point while I was finishing up in the beauty shop, and I inhaled it gladly before I realized that there weren't any grabbing hands around me. My actions sent Tamina into another fit of laughter, and I began to wonder if she ever found anything about me _not_ hysterical.

I saw Dean sitting on the stone wall next to the front steps when I got out and I waved at him. He made a crooked half-smile and waved back. It would have been a normal homecoming if not for Jericho, who came out of nowhere and slammed himself over the hood of the truck. It wasn't moving but Jericho remained motionless on the hood like he had been struck unconscious.

Tamina and I both shrieked from the shock. Miz just got angry and shoved Jericho off of the hood, shouting, "This is a _restored_ classic! There are _ladies_ in the car and you just scared them to death, you poor excuse for a clown!"

I looked at Tamina and she was holding her hand over her muscular chest, her breasts rising and falling while she heaved from the shock. She looked nothing like a scared and helpless lady.

Jericho started moving his arms and legs like he was trying to make snow angels in the dirt while Miz continued to yell at him. Dean waited on the steps for me to come up to him. Tamina went to the back of the truck to get my things. When I got closer to him, Dean looked me over slowly. He pondered my makeover before he said with widened eyes, "I like it!"

I blushed and replied, "Thanks."

Uncle Trumbly suddenly burst through the front doors like he was on fire. He was carrying a briefcase in both arms and a set of car keys in his mouth. I called out a hello to him and added, "Uncle Trumbly, thanks for the clothes!"

He gave me a quick nod and continued to run, dodging out of the way of Miz but almost tripping over Jericho in the process. Trumbly was getting into the driver's side of the truck when he popped his head up and told me, "There's no need to be thankful. You came with very few sets of clothes and I provided you with enough to live on. It's only fitting. Pun intended."

He disappeared again and drove off in a flurry of dust. Most of it landed on Jericho and he sat up and started cursing while Miz laughed at him. I felt like I wanted to cry.

"Bye, Uncle Trumbly," I murmured as he pulled away, wishing he would slow down long enough for us to spend some time together.

Tamina put her hand on her heart again and looked at me sympathetically like I was a lost little orphaned girl. Dean cleared his throat like it bothered him to see me upset. A kind, airy female voice behind me made me turn around when she said, "You must be Liz."

I saw a beautiful woman standing at the entrance. She was wearing a gold and white flowing dress and she was styled like she should be on stage, not standing in a paint chipped doorway in the middle of the day in front of a drunk, a magician, a masculine woman, a pregnant teenager and a man with silkier hair on his body than most of us had on our heads.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" I asked, confused about whom this blond angel was.

She stepped down to be closer to me and reached out her hand. I gave it a good shake while she revealed to me, "I'm Marlyn Chapfield. I'm Trumbly's wife."

My stomach suddenly felt like I was carrying a bowling ball instead of a baby.

I let go of Marlyn's hand and stammered, "I, um...I didn't know that my uncle was married."

The sound of Tamina dropping my suitcases behind me made a loud THWAP against the ground. I couldn't bear to even glance over at Dean, but I knew from his silence that he was also shocked that I didn't know. Marlyn took on a sympathetic look and explained to me, "Oh, I'm so sorry, dear. I wasn't aware that Trumbly had never told you about me. We have been married for over twenty years now, and he's told me _everything_ about you."

My stomach felt even heavier and I suddenly wanted nothing more than to be invisible. I was embarrassed that I had never heard of Marlyn but I also felt disheartened that Uncle Trumbly hadn't introduced me to his wife when I first arrived. A memory of when I was little and my father said I was a faceless name who could easily be forgotten popped right in my mind. I smiled and took Marlyn's hand and shook it once more, a habit developed from my father constantly telling me to be polite no matter what.

I told her quietly, "I need to go walk around alone for a few minutes. It is really very nice to meet you."

I turned and walked off as fast as I could possibly go without looking rude or tripping myself up. I was glad when no one followed me and I did get some time to think things over.

I wandered so far from the house that it was just a dot in my sight after a while. The yard around my uncle's home seemed to go on forever. He had a whole acre of fruit trees. I could see some trailers and old caravans in the distance. There were several huge barns that were down a narrow dirt path and I could hear the faint sounds of exotic animals like elephants and tigers somewhere within them.

The sun was beginning to bother me after a while so I found a big tree and sat down to rest for a while before heading back. I laid back and stared up at the large tree for a few minutes before I realized someone was sitting in it. He was around my age and his hair was a light red that was almost orange. He had a tiny dark mass on his white t-shirt and at first I thought it was just a stain.

I stood up and turned around to see him better. I realized the dark mass was actually a small bat. The young man didn't look up at me or introduce himself. He acted as if I were an old friend and no introductions were needed. I looked the dark mass over and asked, "Is that a _real_ bat?"

"Aye," he answered me with an Irish tongue.

"Don't bats have rabies?" I asked.

"Aye, some do. This wee one was injured, saved 'im and nearsed 'im back ta health, no sign he's a byeter."

"Could I pet him?" I asked, and the young man shrugged his shoulders indifferently.

He managed to slide down the crook of the tree where he had been sitting and he leaned against the trunk. The bat stayed attached to his shirt and seemed unaffected by all the movement. I leaned in and touched my fingertip to the tiny black form. It felt like a clump of cotton balls. The boy snickered at me and said, "Yawr a cute one. Whatcha doin' out here?"

"I got knocked up," I answered truthfully.

He lifted his red eyebrows and replied, "I can see tha'. I mean, watcha doin' alone? Us Carnies are mawstly gewd people, but we is a dual breed. Ya run inta one of ur hare-brains an' yawr done fur."

"Sheamus!" Dean called out from a few yards away.

"Oy! Ambrose!" Sheamus nodded back to him.

When Dean came closer to us, Sheamus stuck his chin out at me and asked him, "This one of yers?"

"She's Trumbly's niece, Liz," Dean answered.

"Is she now?" Sheamus was suddenly wide-eyed with intrigue.

"Could I pet the bat just one more time?" I asked, trying to bide my time a little bit before I had to go back to the house.

"If ya like," Sheamus answered, and I leaned in to touch the bat once more.

"It's so soft!" I exclaimed.

Sheamus moved his eyebrows up and down at Dean and said, "Ya hear tha'? She likes soft, hairy mungrels."

Dean scoffed loudly and the bat moved a little bit under my fingertips. I pulled my hand away and asked nervously, "Did I wake him up?"

"'e's jus' movin' a lit'le," Sheamus informed me.

"We should get back to the house, Liz. Marlyn wants to talk to you. She feels really bad about what happened," Dean explained.

I made an exhausted sigh and said, "Bye Sheamus. Bye little bat."

"Oy, come back an' see us again, love," Sheamus replied, and Dean took me gently by the arm to direct me back home.

He didn't say anything during the walk back. I saw Marlyn still on the steps when we came within sight of the house. She came to me when Dean and I were within range, then she hugged me deeply and said, "I am so sorry, Liz. I would really like to talk about this with you."

I answered when she pulled away, "I don't mean to make you feel bad, but I would really rather talk about this with my uncle. I haven't been able to spend much time with him since I got here."

Marlyn stared at me for several long moments, then she put on a big smile despite the pain I could see in her eyes before she answered, "I will make sure that Trumbly talks to you tomorrow, dear."

I was beginning to hate my own pitiful voice. It made me sound needy and alone. I wasn't a helpless animal that lived a beautiful life in the forest until my time was cut short by the butt of a gun. I nodded at Marlyn and I let Dean take me back inside.

"It's almost time for lunch," he informed me once we were inside.

I let out a long sigh and replied, "Bring on the frenzy."


	3. Chapter 3

3:

I woke up during the night because I was having dreams of being on fire, again. I realized I was wrapped up so tightly in my blankets, I had to nearly roll off the bed just to get out of them.

Dean was asleep in his own bed. I got up quietly and went to the open window on the far side of the room to cool off. Tennessee's blazing summer days and stormy nights provided a constantly humid and uncomfortable environment for me. I made sure Dean wasn't looking before I lifted up my dress almost to my neck and let the night breeze drift over my skin. Even if the air wasn't very cool, it was a nice relief.

A huge thud from the hallway made me shove my dress back down quickly. Dean shifted in his bed and asked me, "Liz, what are you doing?"

"That wasn't me. I was just getting some air," I told him.

"Go back to bed," he said, but I was too curious about the source of the noise.

I wandered over to the door of our room and looked out through the peep hole. I could see Charlotte hanging all over a guy wearing dirty coveralls with a buzz cut. He was a bit overweight but handsome in that rugged rebel kind of way.

They were making out in the hallway. Charlotte shoved the guy into a door just at the end of the ramp. He opened it and pulled her inside, leaving the door open. I could hear them moaning and making sucking noises from their room. It was amplified through the heating vent to my right.

I turned around to go back to the window and I was startled to find Dean standing right behind me. He had a more strict look on his face and kept his eyes on me. He ignored the sounds of foreplay clearly echoing around us as he stated in a tone that somehow sounded both hard and soft, "I asked you to go to bed."

"No, you _told_ me to go to bed, and I don't want to because I'm too hot," I stated firmly.

Charlotte moaned loudly in a passionate but kind of painful way, and the guy she was with grunted like he was having some pleasurable pain as well. It was distracting to me and I was still so hot I was beginning to breathe heavily from the noise mixed with the stifling humid air.

Dean leaned in so close to me, I was only a couple of inches from his face and I breathed in the scent of cologne coming from his hairy body. He went down to his knees and I felt a tingling from my toes to my nose as I tried to see what he was doing in the darkness. He reached around behind my knees and flicked the tab on the heating vent, closing it to drown out at least some of the noise. It was still so obviously loud around us and I knew there would be no escape.

He stood up straight again. Dean remained within inches of me, his somber blue eyes the most prominent feature of his face in the night. He was still staring at me so penetratingly. His voice was calm when he told me, "This is Tennessee. It's always hot in the summer."

Charlotte's incessant moans were turning into howls of ecstasy. Although Dean seemed completely unmotivated by it at all, I was mortified to be standing so close to him while listening to it.

"Thank you, _Captain Obvious_ , but I'm not just summer hot!" I shouted loud enough for Dean to hear before I moved away from him and back to the window again.

I leaned out of the open window a bit and lowered the top of my dress to get some more air, but Dean stepped up to my left and startled me. I stepped back from the window again and glared at him.

"Why did you do that?" he asked, sounding more insistent this time.

"Do what?"

"You argued with me and you didn't listen to me. _Nobody_ argues with me. _Nobody_ ignores me," he said aloud, almost to himself.

Charlotte just kept getting more sensational, and so did the guy with her. It sounded like they were having an epic sexual dance while simultaneously tearing each other apart. At least I could say now that Dean was _not_ with her.

"What is with all the noise?!" I shouted in frustration, but I could barely even hear myself.

Dean got close to me again and called back, "She's just doing this to spite me because I won't fuck her!"

"Why won't you? She's beautiful!" I couldn't help but ask.

"Looks aren't as important to me as other things!" Dean shouted back to me.

"That is _so_ not what sex is like! What is he doing to her?!" I cried, ready to cover my ears.

"She's just making a scene because she wants to get me jealous! She knows my sexual habits and she thinks she can provoke me!" Dean shouted back.

I didn't understand what he meant by sexual _habits_ , but at that point, I didn't care.

"She listens to everything you say! If you go and yell at her, maybe she'll stop!" I practically begged Dean because I was at the point of screaming.

"She's in there with Kevin! He's an asshole and he'll think if I stop them, it's for your sake! All he needs is a motive to make your life hell!" Dean informed me.

Kevin. The pudgy, sexy-eyed rebel guy who was pounding into a beautiful girl like a damn stallion with no shame at all had the same name as the kid with the lazy eye who used to sit on the bus with me in the third grade.

"What do-" I started.

The noise stopped so abruptly, I thought I had lost my hearing.

Charlotte laughed wickedly to break the silence. Kevin groaned. There was a bit of shuffling and some snorts of stifled laughter, then I heard a quiet knock at the door. I knew it was Charlotte and so did Dean. He started for the door but I was closest to it and I moved in his way. I turned the knob and swung the door open as fast as I could.

Charlotte's seductive smile fell from her face when she realized that _I_ had answered the door. She glanced past me for a second at Dean, who had come up behind me and probably wasn't happy with my intervention. I had good reason to do it because I knew why Charlotte was there. She wanted attention for her actions, so instead I played dumb about what had just happened. I ignored Charlotte's disheveled, sweat-filled post-sex glow as I looked her right in the eyes and asked, "Do you have any ice?"

My plan worked. Charlotte ruffled her brow with confusion. Her guy Kevin came out and was standing at the bottom of the ramp. He was looking me over curiously while listening to the conversation. I also noticed that the fly of his coveralls was unzipped and he was hanging out some.

Charlotte looked back at Kevin and back to me. She did a double take before she finally asked me, " _Ice_? You want _ice_?"

"If you don't have any, I would be so grateful if you could get me some," I put my hands together to look more sincere.

That worked, too. Charlotte took several more seconds of consideration. It was enough time for Dean to step up beside me. He told Charlotte, "Go get some ice."

She immediately straightened up and rushed back down the ramp, bypassing Kevin to make her way down the hall. Kevin followed after Charlotte, but turned back to wink at me as he said in a mock Southern accent, "Howdy, Liz. Name's Kevin Owens. Stage hand, case you were wonderin'."

He was the first person to actually tell me what he did for my uncle's Carnival. I would have seen it as an honest act, but nothing about Kevin seemed trustworthy as he turned back and sauntered down the hall. I waited with Dean in silence until Charlotte came back a few minutes later with a bag of ice. She briskly handed it to me and altogether ignored me so she could flirt with Dean before she finally left ten long minutes later. I was happy with the results of my plan and Charlotte didn't turn out as divinely erotic as she had tried to be. I kept the bag of ice on my chest until I fell asleep. Dean must've taken the ice off at some point because it was by the bedside table in the form of water when morning came.

:-:

After the breakfast rush, I was more than eager for answers. Dean and I found Marlyn in the hallway and she informed me, "Trumbly had to leave early to tend to a meeting with some new clients, but he should be home any minute. You just wait outside for him and you two can have a talk."

I nodded and went to the front door. Dean asked me before I stepped out on the front steps, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Actually, I would like to be alone, please."

He nodded and stayed where he was, allowing me to step out on my own before he closed the door behind me. I sat down and waited, thinking it was only a matter of minutes before my uncle would be home.

Minutes turned into an hour, and an hour turned into two hours, but there was still no sign of Trumbly. I was in the shade which provided some comfort, but it was still smoldering and after a while I became horribly overheated. I got up and started walking around the house, thinking I could make it around its perimeter a couple of times to pass the clock. I told myself that if Trumbly wasn't there by the second time I'd gotten around the house, I would go inside and call it a day.

While I walked, I tried to think about what was going on with my uncle. I couldn't remember a time when he would come to visit where he was dismissive or inconsiderate of me. In fact, he paid almost all his attention to me when he would stop by, as if I were the only priority in his world. I knew that things were different now and that he had a life and a business and he couldn't be as attentive as he was when he used to visit me, but I didn't understand why he hadn't even bothered to mention he was married when he was giving me a tour on my first day. This wasn't the uncle that I remembered.

I came around the corner to the back of the house and found myself a few feet away from three guys in the middle of a tiff. One of them was Kevin, while the other two were dressed in the same working coveralls and big boots. The guy on Kevin's right had long dark hair. He was about the same weight as Kevin and he looked kind of short at first until I realized he was actually deceptively tall. He had long dark hair and a thick beard. He would have looked creepy if it weren't for his soft eyes. The third guy with them was shorter and looked out of place between them. He was young, somber, and didn't share the muscle mass of the other two.

The dark haired one grabbed the smaller one and held his arms back. Kevin punched the small guy and he fell to his knees. _Dark Hair_ jerked on _Smalls_ ' front pocket and took out some money. _Dark Hair_ said something like, "Don't never cross me!"

Kevin and _Dark Hair_ turned around at the same time to walk away. Both caught sight of me. I played innocent like I always did when I was witnessing something that could get me into trouble. Years of public school had taught me that pretending to be non-judgmental of bullies and violent situations kept the violence from coming down on _you_. My act worked and Kevin smeared a big grin on his face while _Black Hair_ nodded to me like I was some old friend he had been waiting for.

"You Trumbly's niece?" _Black Hair_ asked me.

I smiled as brightly as I could, not even daring to glance at _Smalls_ still on the ground, and answered quickly, "Yep, that's me!"

Kevin moved his hand in loopy circles while he motioned from me to _Black Hair_ , saying, "Liz, this is Bray Wyatt. Bray, this is Trumbly's niece."

His name was like something people would name their mules. I didn't dare laugh at the thought.

Bray nodded at me again and asked, "Why you out here?"

I noticed the second time he spoke that he had a bit of an accent, but his voice was thick and deep and it was harder to catch the twang.

"I'm waiting for my uncle, so I decided to walk around the house. Do you want to walk with me?" I asked, trying to be polite regardless that I would rather be alone.

"Yeah, let's walk," Bray nodded once more. He and Kevin took either one of my arms like escorts and we started back the way I came.

I had no choice but to leave _Smalls_ behind. I didn't know who he was, but I could only hope that he was alright.

"You wanna see a movie?" Bray asked after a few seconds of silence.

I tried to keep my attention on Bray because Kevin was staring at me so intently I could practically feel his irises burning into my skull.

"Oh sure, I love movies! It's not a scary one, though, is it? I don't like scary movies. I mean, I could handle some violence and ghosts and other stuff, but I don't want to see a bunch of people getting killed or killing each other," I rambled.

Kevin and Bray both snickered and glanced at each other. I didn't know what was so funny, but they had a joke going that I wasn't a part of.

"No, it ain't scary. It's an action movie, though. You like a little action, Baby Girl?" Bray asked.

I nodded and replied, "That sounds okay."

"What's okay?" Dean's voice came from the front steps.

I hadn't realized he was waiting for me on the stone wall by the steps until he spoke out of nowhere. I looked up at him and explained, "Kevin and Bray want to take me to a movie!"

I glanced at either young man. Kevin and Bray were both looking at Dean. They were not as excited to see him as I was.

"Oh. Is it that late Matinee in town tonight? I'd like to go," Dean asked.

Bray let go of my arm and quickly pulled out some ticket stubs from his front coverall pocket. He held them up and replied, "Sorry, we've only got three tickets and I hear it's sold out."

Dean let his shoulders drop and his head hang like he was disappointed, but I got the distinct impression it was all an act. I also got the impression that Kevin and Bray were not on good terms with Dean, and I was in the middle of some long-building tension.

"Oh well, maybe next time," Dean said with a shrug.

I saw Trumbly's classic car pulling into the driveway from the main road and I rushed off as fast as I could to catch up with him without hurting myself. I turned back only once to wave at Dean and then at Kevin and Bray as I called to them, "See you tonight!"

While waiting for Trumbly to pull up and park in front of the house, I noticed that he was distracted. He kept looking down at the passenger seat. When he parked, he started looking behind the seats. I was sure he hadn't noticed me so I called out, "Uncle Trumbly!"

He didn't look at me as he got out and opened the back door to search for whatever was on his mind, but he did respond, "What is it, Elizabeth?"

I came closer and said, "I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes. I met your wife. I didn't realize you were married."

I was hoping it would get his attention, but it didn't. Trumbly was still searching for something in the back of the car, and he even started to climb onto the seat to find it. He asked distractedly, "Do you need some money? Dean will give you whatever you need. Don't stay out too late! I don't want you coming home right when the others are sleeping!"

Funny he would mention going out when I was supposed to see a movie that night. I opened my mouth to say something more but Trumbly was now reaching under the front seats from the back and I was getting impatient. I asked, "Do you need some help finding anything?"

Making myself involved in what was being done usually got my father's attention, but not Trumbly. He was still searching when he repeated, "Talk to Dean. He'll get you whatever you need."

My attempts were hopeless. My eyes started to fill with tears again, and I felt the same way I did the day before when I found out my uncle was married and I wasn't informed. I turned away and went into the house. I was completely sure that, for some reason I couldn't explain, my uncle was avoiding me.

:-:

I didn't really talk to anyone for the rest of the day. Dean stayed nearby but he kept getting frustrated with my silent treatment. He would threaten, "I've got other things to do, you know! I could just go do them and leave you to your misery!"

He kept walking off like he was showing me he was serious, then a few seconds later he would return to check on me. He would make sure I was okay before he threatened to leave and took off again. I was curious as to where he kept going and what other things he could possibly be doing, but I was too upset to try and go after him.

My stubbornness was becoming a source that infuriated Dean. It also seemed to inspire him to want to stay with me. I remembered only one other couple that I saw in a similar situation when I was in high school. Her name was Natalya. She was prone to accidents. She snorted when she laughed. She didn't understand social cues. She was overly dramatic. She played the tuba. His name was Tyson. He was athletic. He was short but lightning fast. He had a huge smile that made all the girls swoon and he was in almost every sport. Their very rumored romance provoked jokes and gossip galore in our small town. It was mostly fueled by their Facebook and Twitter rants directed at each other and their dramatic, frequent fights in the halls. I caught them making out behind the bleachers one day. Instead of breaking apart and pretending like they hated each other, they both looked at me like I was more uncool than they were and went about their business. That was the first time I realized that some people liked the fight.

When night came, Dean stopped wandering off and watched over me while I managed to survive supper and went upstairs to change for the movie. I had a nice blue dress from when I went shopping with Miz and Tamina. I put it on and stepped out to look at it in the vanity mirror.

I could see Dean sitting on the edge of his bed. His reflection showed him staring at me with widened eyes.

I turned to face him and asked, "What? Do I look stupid?"

His eyes returned to normal, but he was still a little dazed when he responded, "No. You look great."

"Oh. Good," I said, straightening the dress so my belly hump didn't look so much like I was smuggling a basketball.

Bray and Kevin were waiting for me by the front door when I came down the stairs. Bray looked like he was waiting on me. Kevin was arm-and-arm with Charlotte. She was all done up and nicely dressed in a simple black number. She would've looked beautiful if she weren't glaring at me so venomously. Bray held his arm out for me to take and asked, "You mind if I'm your date?"

"That sounds fine," I answered, and I let him lead me outside.

I looked back at Dean for a second before the front door closed. He was standing tall with his eyes set in a hard stare, obviously not liking what he was seeing. I vaguely remembered that Bray had said they only had three tickets to the movie but there were obviously four of us. I didn't really trust Kevin or Charlotte, but I wanted to put some confidence in Bray because I didn't know him well enough. We piled into a cherry red classically restored car and Bray drove us to town. If I were making a huge mistake, surely Dean would've warned me or made it so I couldn't go.

Sadly, I didn't need Dean to make me realize the joke was on me.

We got into the theater and I noticed that there were only seven other people there. I had remembered Bray's claim that it was sold out. I was angry with him once I realized he had deliberately told Dean a lie to keep him home. One of the seven people was the handsome guy I had seen down the street when Miz and Tamina took me into town. He was by himself and he leaned over to get a better look at me. I didn't return his gaze for fear that Kevin and Charlotte would see me looking at the guy and they would try to ruin it for me.

The movie was an action film like the guys had said, but there were a few steamy scenes that provoked Charlotte to make out with Kevin in hot and bothered sessions right next to me. I was reminded of when Bray had asked me if I liked a little action. I realized that he was actually referring to some real action and not just the ones on screen. When Charlotte and Kevin weren't sucking face, they were laughing and talking noisily. Several times, Charlotte almost spilled my popcorn trying to grab it without asking me.

About halfway through the film, another steamy scene got Charlotte and Kevin going again. I could feel Bray glancing over at me like he might plant one on my lips. I was beginning to think that this was a _huge_ mistake. I didn't have to look over to tell that handsome guy was probably hating on my noisy acquaintances. I was sure that if I hadn't already alienated myself from him when he saw me with Miz and Tamina, he would be destined to spread the rumor about my freaky choice of friends this time and I would be an outcast before I even had my first day back to school.

Charlotte broke away from Kevin and laughed outrageously, leaning way too far over on my side. She almost knocked heads with me and I stood up, shouting way too loudly, "I'm going to get some more popcorn!"

Four of the seven other heads in the theater turned to face me with dagger-eyes. I was surprised they hadn't tried to get us thrown out yet. Bray asked before I went past him, "You need some help?"

"No, I'm fine," I told him quickly, and I felt a bit of a nudge from his hand on the small of my back to help me past him. I thought it was a cheap and easy way for him to get a little piece without being charged much because he could pass it off as a helping gesture.

I rushed out to the lobby and breathed a sigh of relief when I was finally away from them. My bladder began calling to me that it was full, and I had to put down my empty popcorn on the counter and head to the bathroom. There was a brooding boy with a name tag that read PUNK in scratchy letters reading a comic book behind the counter. I told him before I left, "I'm getting more popcorn so don't throw my container away!"

He looked up and stared at me like I was an alien or something. I made it to the bathroom and sat on the toilet for longer than I needed to. I was holding my head in my hands while I thought about how badly I wanted this night to be over. When I finally returned to the lobby, I found handsome guy by the counter holding my popcorn. He handed it to me with a big smile and said, "I thought I'd get you a refill, Miss."

I was surprised he was being so nice to me. I held out my hand and said, "Hi, I'm Liz Chapfield. Sorry if the people who are with me are ruining the movie for you."

He took my hand and kissed it in one of those old gentlemanly ways. He replied with a soft accent, "I'm Allen Jones Styles, but my friends call me A.J. I don't mind your friends none. I've seen this movie, already."

I quickly took my hand away and corrected him, saying, "Oh they're not really my friends. I mean, they live with me in a big house with lots of other people, like an apartment complex but it's really a house, and they invited me and I don't know if I really like them all that much."

I closed my mouth once I realized I was rambling again, a skill that would make it impossible for me to have a job writing on headstones. I glanced over at punk boy and realized he was staring at me like I was the worst motor mouth he had ever seen. A.J. just smiled and replied, "Well, I think there's about 20 minutes left of the movie, so you shouldn't have to be with them too much longer."

"Thanks for the heads up," I said, and I made my way back into the theater.

:-:

Just as A.J. had told me, the movie finished at about the 20-minute mark. Bray took me by the hand to escort me out while Charlotte and Kevin continued to hang off of each other like a couple of sober people who just want everyone else to think they're drunk. Once we were outside, Charlotte, Kevin and Bray walked past the car and kept going down the street. I looked ahead and saw that the only thing open this late was the local bar. I wasn't about to go in there. If they were this bad _without_ alcohol, I didn't want to see what happened when they _were_ intoxicated.

"I don't drink and I don't want to go in there," I told Bray.

Charlotte and Kevin looked back at me. Charlotte laughed and Kevin made the comment, "Then, what do you do?!"

Charlotte laughed even harder. I blushed and they moved on. Bray tried his best not to look judgmental, but I could see the grief in his eyes as he pondered what to do with such a buzzkill. He strained to keep a soft tone as he said, "Go on and wait in the car. I won't be drinkin'. Charlotte and Kevin won't need much before they're out. Half-hour, tops."

I nodded and he opened the car door for me to slip into the passenger seat. Bray nodded his head at me and closed the door. I watched him trot down the street to catch up with the others. I wasn't in the bar at least, but I still felt anxious and put off that they had left me alone.

There was a knock on my window. I jumped and whirled around to look. It was A.J. again. He waved sheepishly. I rolled down the window and he told me, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering why you're alone."

"The others went to the bar and I wasn't comfortable with that. I really just want to go home but Bray said it won't be long," I explained.

A.J. sighed and asked, "Would you mind if I gave you a ride? I mean, I know we just met, but my truck is a couple of blocks down. I promise I won't try anything funny."

I wouldn't have cared if he were a serial killer. I wanted to get _away_ from there.

"Sure!" I said.

I found a pad and a pen in the glove compartment and jotted a note down for Bray that told him I found another ride. I got out of the car and started walking with A.J.

"So uh, you're a Chapfield? Does that mean you're related to Trumbly Chapfield?" A.J. asked me almost immediately.

In a small town, I knew the answer would be found out soon enough. I didn't know how A.J. would take it when I told him, "Yeah, he's my uncle."

His eyes widened like this was a pleasant surprise instead of a bad one, then he said, "That's cool. Trumbly's been a member of this town since forever. You know he used to do these really elaborate in-town carnival shows like three times a year and they were always a blast. He stopped doing them a few years ago, after his heart attack."

"His what?!" I asked, astonished.

A.J. quickly recanted, "Well, I mean, I _think_ it was a heart attack."

I explained my shock, "It probably was, but I'm just surprised because my uncle didn't tell me. In fact, I just moved here to live with him a few days ago, and he really hasn't talked to me much at all. I think I've learned more about him from other people. I didn't even know he was married."

A.J. nodded like he understood, then he said, "Most of the town doesn't know a lot about him, either. Like, on a personal level. He doesn't have visitors over, probably because of the homeless and orphaned Carnies that live with him. They don't seem to like outsiders. He does a lot of donations for the town but he rarely shows up to receive any honors and stuff."

"I don't know what to think. My uncle lives such a fascinating life. Maybe I'm just too boring for him," I said.

A.J. smiled and replied, "I don't think you're boring."

I smiled back, and for a moment, we locked eyes. We broke away when I heard Dean's voice in front of us call out, "Hey!"

I turned to face him with confusion over what he was doing there. A.J. almost jumped out of his own clothes.

A.J. grabbed me by the arm and tried to pull me away from Dean, shouting, "Who the hell are you?!"

I pulled away from A.J.'s grasp and explained, "This is Dean, my roommate. Dean, this is A.J., and he was going to give me a ride home."

A.J. stopped trying to get away but I could see that he was shaking slightly. I didn't understand why until I realized that he was staring wide-eyed at Dean's werewolf appearance. I would have thought a man with an ax would be far more frightening than a man with full body hair wearing jeans and a crisp white tank.

"Your...room...roommate?" A.J. stuttered, trying to hide his divided feelings behind a sense of interest.

Dean held out his hand to me and told A.J. with complete calm, " _I'll_ take her home."

I started forward, but A.J. grabbed my shoulder to stop me and said, "I shouldn't just let you run off with this... _guy_. If something happened to you, your uncle would be really mad at me."

A.J.'s reaction to Dean was beginning to upset me. I could tell that A.J. was really considering Dean to be a monster instead of a person. I replied more strictly, "I already told you that Dean is my roommate! I'll be fine."

He reluctantly let me go, and I said to A.J. before taking Dean's hand, "Thank you for walking with me. I would like to do this again, sometime."

A.J. seemed to ease up when he heard that. He suddenly realized he was too tense and he tried to revise his whole demeanor. A.J. asked Dean in a more casual tone, "I think I remember you in Trumbly's group. Weren't you in the show he put on in town like, six years ago?"

Dean squeezed my hand a little and I got the impression A.J. had just touched a nerve. Not adopting an attitude, though, Dean calmly half-smiled and replied, "Yeah, I remember that show. I think you and your friends threw rotten eggs and piss-filled beer bottles at me."

I gasped and looked at A.J. He swallowed hard and tried to remedy the situation, "Hey, I'm sorry about that, man. My buddies and I, we get really stupid when we're drunk."

"No harm done," Dean shrugged.

A.J. waved weakly and nodded at me before turning to leave in the opposite direction from us. Dean led me along for a while in silence while we held hands, but my curiosity got the best of me and I asked, "Did A.J. and his friends really do that to you?"

"Yes. I'm sure he would have thrown something this time if he were with his friends, but he was alone and trying to make an impression on you," Dean responded coolly.

I couldn't help flushing a little while thinking that A.J. might not completely hate me. Dean looked down at me with a hardened gaze, like he was trying to decide if he should be upset by my reaction or not. I asked quietly, "Why would he need to impress me?"

"You're an attractive girl that just moved into a very small town. Consider yourself fresh meat to every guy here and in all the surrounding counties," Dean stated.

That made me blush even harder, especially when I heard Dean call me an attractive girl. His hard gaze softened significantly. I tried to hide my emotions as I pointed out, "But I'm pregnant. Why would any guy want a knocked up chick?"

I met his eyes and Dean quickly looked away from me like keeping eye contact might reveal something to me that he didn't want me to see. He answered in a more gruff tone, "Your pregnancy to them just means you've done it before and you're more experienced. Most of them would probably prefer to tear into a virgin, but _you_ would be the next best thing."

That just made me feel disgusted. I replied angrily, "Well that's stupid! I'm not some conquest or an experienced slut! I have feelings!"

"The guys here don't want your feelings, Liz. They want your cunt," Dean said boldly.

I let go of his hand and replied, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I want to go home."

Folding my arms in front of me, I held back the tears that were forming in my eyes. Dean stood there with me in silence for a minute or so, then he held out his hand for me again and said, "I'm sorry. I just think you should know the truth."

I looked away from him and refused to take his hand, replying, "Yeah well, I already know the truth but it's kind of nice not to hear about it right after a compliment."

Dean kept his hand out and waited for me, but I still wouldn't take his hand. He started walking again and held his arm at his side, but kept his palm out a little for me to take. I had to rush to catch up with him. I grabbed his hand again and let him lead me back to the car he had used to drive into town. It was an unfinished restoration and it smelled like mothballs. He didn't say another word to me all the way home, but I had the feeling our conversation wasn't over.


	4. Chapter 4

4:

I've been sleepwalking ever since I was little. My parents took me to see our family doctor and he claimed that my condition was brought upon by extreme stress. He said that by finding things to reduce my stress, the sleepwalking would not happen every night. My father decided that I was too young to have extreme stress, so he assumed my condition was a sign I was being possessed by the devil. Whenever my sleepwalking got really bad, he would send me to church camp to expel the evil. I'm not really sure why he thought making bird houses could cure a possession.

As I got older, the episodes of sleepwalking lessened. There would still come a time once in a while where I would be dreaming vividly and I would wake up somewhere else.

I was dreaming on _this_ night about my father. In the dream, he had come back to visit me and to make sure I was alright. I kept reaching out for him, but he would step back and fall away somewhere in the darkness. He would come forward again and I would reach out to him once more, but he would always fall just out of reach. I called for him, "Daddy? Daddy?"

Finally, he sat down in an old rocking chair and he didn't fall away. I came over to hug him. He seemed to be sleeping, because his eyes were closed and he didn't speak to me at all. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rocked with him, feeling content that he had come back for me. It confirmed to me that somewhere deep down, my father cared about me.

"What is she doing?" I heard a voice say from afar.

"Hugging an old man," whispered another deeper voice.

The voices were interrupting my dream. I opened my eyes and realized that I was no longer in my bed. I was in the dark and sitting on someone's lap. I blinked with surprise and sat back to see who I was sitting on. The moonlight was coming in through the window, so there was enough light to show me that I was seated in Paul's lap with my arms around him. He was the one rocking me, not my father. Paul was still in his catatonic state and didn't seem to even notice I was there.

I heard giggling and turned around to face the door. Charlotte and Kevin were watching me from the doorway like I had lost my mind. I was humiliated when I realized how ridiculous I looked in a nightgown and no shoes hugging a catatonic old man in the middle of the night.

"Liz? Liz, honey? Are you out there?" I heard Naomi call from her room.

"Let's get out of here," Charlotte quickly grabbed Kevin's arm and they ran off.

I got off of Paul's lap and tried to resettle the blanket someone had put around him. I told him even if he didn't hear me, "Sorry, Paul."

Just before I turned away, I thought I heard him whisper, "I don't mind."

I looked back at him, but he didn't move or say anything more.

"Liz? Liz?" Naomi was calling for me still, so I hurried down the hallway and into her room.

She was lying down in her makeshift bed. When I came in, she asked, "You alright, sugar plum?"

The full extent of being embarrassed as well as dreaming of my father hit me at once, and I started to cry. Naomi held out her arms for me and said, "Come here and tell me what's wrong."

I ran into her arms and settled down beside her, explaining, "I miss my dad. He doesn't want me, though, and I don't think my uncle does, either."

"Who told you that?" Naomi instantly went defensive.

"No one. Uncle Trumbly just won't talk to me, he won't see me, and he hasn't even told me yet if he's glad that I'm here. I didn't even know he was married or that he had a heart attack a few years ago. He could have died and I would have never known!" I wailed.

Naomi stroked my hair while she explained, "Honey, your uncle loves you. Everyone does, we all agreed to have you come here and live with us because Trumbly spoke so highly of you."

"Charlotte and Kevin don't like me!" I cried.

"Oh now, those three are terrible young ones that are just looking for trouble at every turn! If they bother you, you tell Dean or you come and talk to me!"

I wiped my eyes and looked up at her, saying, "Last time I told Dean, he wouldn't do anything because he said Kevin would make my life miserable."

Naomi sighed heavily and said, "I was waiting on Dean to tell you this, but he's not very keen on saying what needs to be said, so I'll tell you: Dean and Kevin are brothers."

My eyes nearly fell out of my head with shock.

"What?!" I shouted.

Naomi began the story, "Dean's father had his same condition, but shaved daily so that it wasn't noticeable. Dean's mother died of cancer. Dean's father was so full of grief, he gave both boys up to an orphanage and disappeared. Times were hard for Dean then, but he learned self-defense so he could hold his own. Kevin has always had a very bitter rivalry with Dean, even when they ran away and found Trumbly's crew. Dean is the better and stronger man of the two, and Kevin knows that, so he does his best to destroy whatever Dean holds precious."

"But I'm not precious to Dean," I pointed out.

"Honey, of course you are. Do you know why?" Naomi asked.

"Why?" I truly wanted to know.

"Trumbly made you roommates because he knew your personality, and when you look at Dean, you see _Dean_ , not the freak that he thinks he is," Naomi answered.

I considered this information and felt a lot better. I settled in more comfortably and asked, "Would you tell me more about Trumbly?"

Naomi huddled me in close and explained, "Oh, I've known Trumbly for the better part of twenty years, and there is nothing that man won't try once. I've seen him jump out of a plane, eat a bull's testes, and I've even seen him fly."

" _Fly_?" I asked.

"It was years ago, but Trumbly built a pair of wings that looked more like sticks and paper to me. He kept telling us it was an illusion, and that he could fly with those wings. We all laughed at him, so he climbed to the top of the house, strapped those wings to his back and jumped off the roof. By God's grace, he flew alright. Clear to the barn, where he landed in the zebra pen. He even used the same word before liftoff that he always says to open every show."

"What does he say?" I asked, feeling sleepy.

" _Watch_ ," Naomi's eyes glittered when she spoke my uncle's captivating word.

I fell asleep thinking about my uncle flying, and that's exactly what I dreamed about.

:-:

"Liz? Liz?" I heard Dean's voice calling from the hallway.

I woke up that morning still next to Naomi, but she was upright and knitting. She called back, "She's in here, Dean!"

Dean rushed through the door and came to my side. He asked Naomi, "Is she alright?"

I was trying to sit up, so Dean took my arms and helped me. Naomi laughed and replied, "Young one was sleepwalking last night. Got her in here and coaxed her back to a sound sleep."

I glanced at Naomi, and she gave me a knowing look. I remembered our conversation that night, but she didn't add that to the story for Dean. I looked down when I noticed my legs were propped up on something and I asked while I observed it, "What are these?"

"Rolled up throw blankets to put under your knees, sugar. I used that trick during my pregnancy. Kept me cool and comfortable during the night, and kept my feet from swelling so much."

It was a simple idea, and I was glad to learn about it. Dean helped me to my feet. I waved good-bye to Naomi and said, "Thank you for letting me stay in here for the night."

"No problem. You come back when you're awake sometimes too," Naomi winked at me.

Dean led me back upstairs. I told him as soon as we got back to our room, "I have to use the bathroom."

He stayed by the vanity. His expression was a little distraught. I closed the door to the bathroom and made it to the toilet, telling myself with a sigh of relief, "Thank God."

Being pregnant meant frequent bathroom trips, and I was always worried I wouldn't make it in time. I was in the midst of doing my business when suddenly Dean opened the door and walked right in like I wasn't even there. I had my underwear around my ankles and I quickly pulled them back up to my knees as I screamed, "What are you doing?!"

"I need a shower, if you don't mind," Dean stated crudely.

The blue shower curtain was thin and almost see through. It surrounded a white antique porcelain tub with a newly added stainless steel shower head. Dean pulled the curtain aside and started the water. He aggressively started removing his clothes as if he were making a statement and I got the distinct impression that his rudeness was due to something or _someone_ upsetting him, but if I was that someone or not, I couldn't tell.

Suddenly, I remembered something from Dean's words. Paul had said something similar last night...I was sitting on his lap...I woke up on his lap...he told me, "I don't mind..."

"What?!" Dean asked, and I realized he was watching me concentrate on my thoughts while I was still sitting on the toilet.

"Nothing! Don't watch me while I pee!" I snapped, and Dean made a gruff sigh as he got into the tub.

I couldn't help keeping my eyes on him even after he pulled the curtain forward to mostly conceal his body. Dean's hair formed more closely to his body when it was wet, and his muscles and other features were much more defined. Dean turned to one side, and I thought I got the hint of some frontal male anatomy.

While I was gawking, I had taken some toilet paper to wipe myself, and my right index fingernail accidentally grazed that little spot between my legs that always reminded me of a swollen pink orange seed that God had lodged between a set of smaller lips and a second set of even bigger lips. I always thought he was trying to grow a flower with a lady's privates and it just didn't bloom.

I looked down at it when I noticed that grazing it felt unusually good. I thought maybe I had tickled it or something, like when someone tickles your back or sides and it's suddenly stimulating. I was brought out of my thoughts when Dean pulled the curtain aside again and yelled at me, "You better not be taking a dump, because I don't want the whole bathroom to stink! Wait until I get out first!"

I gasped and glared at him furiously. He yanked the curtain shut and I angrily got off of the toilet, then I flushed the handle before Dean could argue with me. He cried out as the water in the shower turned cold and I stormed out of the bathroom.

:-:

I was so angry with Dean, I didn't wait for him to take me to breakfast. He appeared in the dining room after I had already sat down and gave me a strict glare. I didn't know what his problem was before, but now he was just being immature. _Two could play that game._

When the bacon was set down, I rushed in front of Dean and grabbed it, nearly smashing my pregnant belly onto his plate. I managed to get three pieces while he was so startled by me that he didn't get any. I sat down and ate my bacon slowly just to mess with him. He pretended ignored me, but I could see him glaring at me from the corners of his eyes.

As soon as I finished breakfast, I told Dean, "I'm going to see Sheamus," and I walked outside before he could object.

He didn't follow me, and while I walked out into the yard in hopes of running into Sheamus again, I began to wonder what was up Dean's butt. He seemed fine but a little scared when he came in to get me, then he was all _Mr. Grouchy McMoody-Pants_ when we got back to our room. Could it have been because I had been sleepwalking and he didn't know where I was when he first woke up? Was Naomi right, and I was precious to Dean? Naomi had mentioned that I was sleepwalking, even though I came into her room fully awake. It made me think that Trumbly had warned the other Carnies about my problem. Maybe Dean had taken it upon himself to make sure I didn't wander off.

The more I walked and thought about it, the more I began to think that Dean's attitude was not directed at me but at the situation, which could have ended a lot worse if I had kept wandering through the house and someone less caring had found me. I had half a mind to turn back to the house to find Dean and talk to him, but I caught sight of Sheamus close to the tree where he had been with the baby bat before and I wanted to see him. When I came closer, I saw that he was sitting on the grass and playing with a lion cub.

"Is that a baby lion?" I whispered in awe.

Sheamus turned back to face me with one eye squinted from the sun. He shouted with a mix of delight and surprise, "Oy! Sure is, she was bawrn las' week."

Holding a short length of thick rope in his hand, Sheamus put it up and the lion cub kept trying to grab it in her paws like a full grown kitten. I sat down beside him and watched while he played with her. After a while, I asked, "Is she a pet?"

"Na, she'll be part o' the shaw someday. Speakin' o' shaws, would ya like to come with Dean an' I to the mawvies later?"

I considered the request. Normally I would've said yes right away, but since Dean was acting stand-offish with me and I had retaliated, he might not want me to come. Still, I did like having something to do, so I answered after some consideration, "Yes, I would be delighted."

Sheamus smiled broadly, and I reached over to pet the lion cub. He warned me, "Watch for her claws, an' her tongue is like san'paper."

I touched the lion cub's fur, and she was softer than I would have guessed. She tried to grab my hand and nibble on it, but I wouldn't let her. She had such a grip already, I wondered what it would be like when she was grown up.

"Trumbly, Sir!" Sheamus jumped to his feet.

I turned around and saw that my uncle was standing behind us near the tree. I had no idea how long he had been there, but he was watching me very carefully.

"She came ta see the lion, sir. I was watchin' over her," Sheamus explained himself promptly.

Trumbly smiled warmly at him, and Sheamus eased up a little. Then Trumbly turned his attention on me and asked, "Elizabeth, may I speak with you?"

I rose to my feet as well, but I was not as eager as Sheamus to appease my uncle. Instead, I shouted at him, "Why do you think I would want to talk to you?! I have been trying to talk to you for days and you've ignored me, then you come up at some random time and expect me to be okay with that?!"

My uncle's eyes widened like he had never been scolded before. The fury and disappointment I had felt from him the past few days suddenly came to a head, and I continued, "I didn't even know you were married until your wife told me in front of everyone, and I felt like the biggest idiot in the world! I even heard from a stranger in town that you had a heart attack a few years ago! Then Naomi told me that you flew! Everyone has an amazing story to tell about you, and I didn't even know you were hitched!"

Trumbly put out his hands in defeat and said, "We should sit down and discuss this privately, Elizabeth..."

"It's _Liz_! And no, I'm tired of people around here treating me like I'm a child and ignoring me or walking away from me when I'm upset with them, then they just show up whenever they want and expect to be forgiven!"

I could tell my uncle was starting to get annoyed with me, especially with Sheamus hearing every bit of our fight, but I didn't care. I walked right past him and back to the house in a huff. On my way inside, I spotted Bray by one of the side doors. He waved at me and winked. I blushed and ran upstairs to my room, still unsure about Bray's intentions for me.

:-:

Uncle Trumbly didn't try to find me. Sheamus came to get me later that evening and take me to the movie. I didn't even mention to Dean that I was going, but he didn't act surprised so I assumed Sheamus told him ahead of time. The drive into town was quiet. Dean's mood still seemed off-beat and Sheamus was keeping his mouth shut after he saw me blow up earlier. I was beginning to believe our night out was going to be more awkward than fun.

We took the latest show and nobody was in the theater with us. The same punk boy from last time let his eyes bug out of his head and his jaw drop at the sight of Dean. I ordered my popcorn to share with the guys and I took my seat between them.

The movie started. It was the same movie as before but I didn't mind seeing it again. The beginning had a few funny parts and scenes that got us laughing, and we all eased up as the movie went on. Sheamus even started taking some of my popcorn, but Dean still wouldn't even look at me. Either he wasn't hungry, or he was still mad that I messed up his shower this morning.

I noticed a quarter of the way through the movie that some people had entered. Sheamus and I both looked them over. I realized one of them was AJ again, this time with a couple of his friends. There was a guy and an Asian girl with him. They spotted us almost immediately, and I saw AJ's friends whisper to each other and point at Dean, then they laughed and took their seats on the opposite side of the theater.

When any graphic or sensual scenes came up, I would hide my eyes behind my hand. During one of the really sensual scenes, Sheamus leaned into me and said, "Thar's no need ta hide, love. It's a natural occurrence. When a lad has feelin's for a lass, he shawd let 'er know."

I took my hand away enough to face him, asking, "Well, if it's natural, then why does my dad think it's wrong?"

Sheamus shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the screen, replying, "'cause relugun makes ya feel unhappy 'bout things that make ya the happiest."

He spoke like he had been through his own experiences with religion stalling his happiness. I took my hand completely away, but by that time the scene was over and it was back to the action again. I reached for more popcorn and when I pulled away, Dean reached in after me. I looked at him, and he took his hand out, saying, "Sorry, I should've asked."

Maybe it was Sheamus' words, or maybe the sensual scene had put him in a lighter mood, but Dean didn't sound half as upset as he was this morning. I quickly answered, "No, it's alright, I just feel bad that I ate most of it."

"I'll get us a refull," Sheamus reached for the popcorn, but I got up instead and said, "It's okay, I'll go. I have to take a bathroom break anyway."

I left my popcorn bucket at the counter like last time. When I came back, I saw Dean waiting for me at the far door of the theater, but he had a stern look on his face again. The look wasn't for me, but for AJ, who was holding my full bucket of popcorn for me with a broad smile.

"I refilled your popcorn for you again. Hope you don't mind," AJ handed me the bucket.

"Do you come to the movies _every night_?" I asked curiously.

"Well, it is one of the very few things to do in this town," AJ pointed out.

"What are the other things to do?" I asked.

Punk boy snorted and rolled his eyes at me like I was asking a stupid question. I hated that he was even eavesdropping in the first place.

"Sleep, drink, and party," AJ listed everything for me on the three fingers of his right hand.

"Oh, well I'm not good at any of those," I replied, earning another snort of disgust from punk boy.

"Not even sleep?" AJ asked, apparently undaunted by punk boy.

I shook my head and answered, "I sleepwalk sometimes. I don't have good dreams."

AJ furrowed his brow with a mix of sympathy and concern for me, which I found to be appealing, when the door to the theater opposite of where Dean was opened and the Asian girl with earphones and a shiny blue jacket leaned out and said, "AJ, get back in here. Your favorite scene is coming up."

I blanched a little when I remembered that the scene coming up was the most sensual one of all. Asian girl saw my redness and chuckled, then she disappeared back into the theater. AJ waved an awkward good-bye, looking sheepish himself, and went through the same door as his friend. He ignored Dean completely. I came over to Dean and he followed me back to our seats without a word. Although the popcorn was now almost overflowing, Dean didn't reach for it again.

:-:

When the movie finished, Sheamus and Dean quickly took me by either arm and we made our way back to the car. I was thankful that Sheamus and Dean didn't try to bring up stopping by the bar. We were almost to the car when AJ called out to me, "Hey Liz!"

I turned around to face him. He was still a few good yard away, keeping almost strained attention on me while his buddies were half a block away laughing and whispering something to each other.

Dean stayed by the car, but Sheamus stayed a little closer to me.

"Hey uh, the guys and I were wondering if you would like to come to our party next week," AJ said kindly.

"Next week? Really? It's my birthday next week!" I replied.

AJ's face lit up and he countered, "No shit! Then I'll pick you up at 7:30 and we'll have a birthday slash welcome to the small town celebration before the big party itself!"

I thought of something and asked, "Will a parent be there?"

It was an automatic question that had been ingrained in my head from my father and the school system. My question made AJ furrow his brow again, but this time it wasn't in sympathy, it was in confusion. His buddies started laughing because they had heard the question from where they were. I started to feel hot with embarrassment when AJ answered, "Uh, no, Liz. There won't be any parents...or adults. It'll be me and my friends and some of our friends from the high school."

I couldn't have felt more stupid, and I wanted so badly to make it up to AJ, but I was too smart to let myself go and get into the trouble that I knew would be at a small town party with a bunch of kids. I shook my head and said weakly, "I'm sorry, I can't go. My dad would be really disappointed in me."

It was true. If my father cared enough to check up on me, he would be furious to hear that a boy would even ask me to go to an unsupervised party, let alone that I would say yes. I started to turn back, but AJ stopped me with his words, saying, "Hey wait! Look, I really want you to come. I'll ask my stepbrother to be there with his wife or something, he's thirty."

I asked excitedly, "Could I bring someone too? I mean, I don't know anyone in town so I want to have someone that I know there because my uncle wouldn't want me to be alone."

AJ glanced nervously at Dean, then he started focusing on me with that strained look again. He looked like it was hard for him _not_ to point out how much Dean disgusted him. AJ asked me as kindly as he possibly could behind the strain, " _Who_ would you like to bring?"

I wanted someone who was strong enough to hold his own in case of a problem, someone who liked me enough to defend me, and someone around the age group as AJ and his friends so that he wasn't a total outcast.

"Could I bring Bray? He was with me at the theater last time, the one without the girl trying to rearrange his face with her lips."

AJ's reaction made me think he would've liked it better if I had picked Dean.

"You mean that big guy that looked like he would hit someone over the head with a baseball bat just for breathing on him?"

I thought I heard Sheamus stifling a laugh behind me. I nodded and replied, "Yep. I promise I won't let him do something like that at the party."

It was a long shot. I really didn't know if I could promise that because I still didn't know Bray that well, but AJ nodded. He swallowed hard before answering, "Yeah, sure, I guess Bray can come, but that's it. We don't want too many invites."

Again, he strained saying the last part of his sentence. It seemed like AJ was just dying to launch insults at Dean, but his inability to keep himself very concealed was insulting enough. If he kept this up, I might let Bray get a cheap shot just for the hell of it.


	5. Chapter 5

5:

The party was the primary thing on my mind for the rest of the week. Almost right away I talked to Bray about going with me and he was more than happy to take the offer. By the beginning of next week, everyone was buzzing about my birthday and my in-town invite. It seemed like very few of Trumbly's house mates got asked by the locals to do anything because the invite was considered HUGE news.

Not surprisingly, Charlotte was extremely jealous. She stormed into our room and threw a fit at Dean, pretending that I wasn't sitting right there when she yelled, "No one has a party for _me_ on _my_ birthday! I've talked to those losers in town and they don't ask _me_ to do anything!"

Always the level headed person when around Charlotte, Dean continued brushing his hair in front of the vanity mirror as he said calmly, "Charlotte, throwing a beer bottle at the locals while they're walking down the street is not the same as talking. Besides, you put fireworks in the old outhouse last time we threw you a party, so no one wants to do it again for fear of getting shit rained on them."

She huffed and she sighed. She paced and she glared. She moaned with sadness and pretended to cry. If Dean and I were around, Charlotte was making the most of it with noises and self-pity.

On the night before my party, I was woken up by the sounds of Charlotte and Kevin doing their thing in the room just down the ramp from ours. I groaned and Dean rolled over in bed. He told me as if it were easy to ignore, "Go back to sleep, Liz."

I put my hands over my ears and argued, "I can't with all that noise!"

"They're just trying to push my buttons and probably yours because of the whole party thing. They'll stop soon," Dean surmised.

Just like before, the noise only got louder, and even cupping my ears wasn't helping. Dean must've noticed my frustration because he grunted and got up and walked over to the vent by the door. He flicked it closed to drown out at least a portion of the sound. I sat up to watch him walk back when suddenly I heard Kevin cry out, "Fuck!"

Then I heard the familiar sound of a hand colliding with skin.

I let my hands fall and I jumped, startled by the sound. There was a moment of silence where I was terrified for Charlotte, thinking she was being beaten, but then I heard her start to laugh wickedly and she told Kevin, "Do it again!"

There was another brisk SNAP! Charlotte shouted, "Harder!"

My stomach began to churn so overwhelmingly, I thought I was going to bring up my dinner. I grabbed the edges of my blanket that I normally kept off because of the heat, but now I pulled it over my head and clutched my hands to my ears as hard as I could.

The noise reminded me of a long time ago, when I had just turned twelve. My mother never argued with my father, but I had started my period and she wanted to go to the store to get me some tampons. My father was furious, saying that a young virgin should always use pads until she is married and has become a woman. For some reason I never understood, my mother told him he was being foolish. Never before had I heard her so much as call him a man. He hit her so hard across the face, her ear started bleeding. She had to go to the hospital and the doctor told us her eardrum had ruptured. I thought the doctor would say something to my father. Instead, the doctor told my mother to get some counseling and left us with a costly ER bill.

My mother bought me pads instead, and she never spoke up to my father again.

I could still hear Kevin hurting Charlotte, although she was laughing loudly like she was enjoying it. I kept trying to keep my mind off of it. Dean brought up the covers and climbed into bed next to me. He was holding wireless headphones in his hands and he told me, "Put these on."

I slid the headphones on just as Kevin started crying out in pain like Charlotte was doing something to him. Once the headphones were on, Dean cupped his hand on the left earphone and rotated a knob on the side to turn it on. Then he rotated a second knob to find a radio station. I heard Kevin yell something like, "You're going to get it now, you dumb bit..."

His voice was cut off by the sound of a sweet oldies song playing from the headphones. I listened to it gladly, looking up at Dean while he stayed near me. I realized then that he had been staying close to me all week. He hadn't mentioned the party himself. He hadn't even questioned why I had invited Bray of all people. He was acting more like he respected me and less like I annoyed him.

I started to fall asleep again by the second song, and I nudged Dean so he would roll over on his back and I could hold onto him. Oddly, he did as I guided without arguing, and I rested my arm over his chest. Just before I fell asleep, I draped my left leg over Dean's stomach, forgetting the fact that he slept in the nude, not that it was all that noticeable with all of his body hair. He was like a soft blanket, and I assumed that he must shampoo himself really well, because he smelled all over like that cologne based men's wash that some of the guys at my old school used to smell like. I could feel more of his muscle definition being so close to him, and I could tell by touch that he was strong enough to be an acrobat.

Once again, I dreamed what I was thinking before I fell asleep. Dean was slapping a bottle of men's shampoo while my father sang oldies songs beside Kevin and Charlotte and my mother threw soft blankets at him.

:-:

That morning, Dean nudged me awake and said, "Happy birthday. You should get up, your uncle has a surprise set up outside for you."

I got dressed and made my way outside with Dean. Uncle Trumbly, Miz, Marlyn and Tamina greeted me at the door. Even Naomi was outside. She was seated in a mobile golf buggy that had been converted to meet her size in the backseat, while at least two occupants could sit in the front. Trumbly hugged me close and said, "Happy birthday, Elizabeth."

Amazement was all that filled my mind. There were carnival stands set up all across the lawn, some of them for games, others for entertainment, and all of them for me. My uncle took me to Naomi's buggy and he let me take the passenger side while he drove me to each of the stands. I played the balloon dart game and won a yellow teddy bear. I shared a funnel cake with Naomi. I played knock the beer bottle stack with a baseball, but I didn't win anything because Jericho kept taking the bottles and trying to drink from them before I could knock them down. Dean played a round of ring toss and won me a goldfish.

I was so excited, I couldn't wait when Uncle Trumbly told me, "Now we have the _shows_ for you. As long as it doesn't rain, we'll be fine."

As always, my uncle expected rain when there was only one cloud in the sky.

He let me take over driving the golf buggy, but I wasn't very good and I had to slowly make my way to the next stand around the corner. Dean walked beside me while I tried to get going, but I would end up either lurching forward or sliding backwards. After a while, my uncle got frustrated and asked me, "Didn't Hefram teach you to drive, Elizabeth?"

"No, daddy said the stick shift is the devil's penis," I remarked.

"Oh my," Naomi covered her mouth at my words.

Trumbly sighed and replied gruffly, "Knowing Hefram, that's not a surprise."

"He was fine with automatic, though, but we only had stick so he couldn't teach me," I stated.

Mumbling like he wasn't thinking about what he was saying, Uncle Trumbly said, "Of course he liked automatic, it's a _controlled_ shift."

I stopped working the buggy and turned to look at him. Trumbly quickly cleared his throat and said in his usual pessimistic tone, "We should get going or people will start closing up on us!"

I got back to working the buggy. I was getting better and I managed to get us around the corner. Dean took off and I asked, "Where is he going?"

"He's part of the show, sugar," Naomi answered.

Sure enough, Dean reappeared a minute later with Matt and Jeff, all of them dressed in colorful acrobatic spandex. Due to the smaller size of the carnival made just for me, they only climbed about two stories high and did a few swings and clutches and twists and mid-air twirls, but it was plenty enough for me. They didn't have nets set up, either, so I was anxious for their safety, which only made the show more intriguing. As I had guessed last night, Dean was in fact very good at acrobatics, and he kept up with Matt and Jeff easily. I watched them with astonishment, while most of the other Carnies walked around eating various foods and talking to themselves like it didn't excite them anymore. They probably got to see this action all the time, but this was my first time getting remotely close to a carnival show.

Once Dean, Matt and Jeff were finished, Trumbly directed me to a more mysterious looking stage at the end of the line of booths. There was a huge one ton weight on the stage and a chair with arm straps in front of it. An extremely tall and hulking man with a huge body stood next to the chair with his arms folded, while Miz took the other side of the chair as soon as I pulled up. Some of the other Carnies who had been disinterested now came over to see the last show. Even Bray, Charlotte and Kevin were standing in the crowd when Miz held out his hand to me and asked, "Would you like to be our volunteer, Miss Elizabeth?"

He spoke in a mystic tone just like he would on a grand stage, and I nodded and got out of the buggy to walk up to him. Dean had also come to stand next to Trumbly and watch the show with Matt and Jeff behind him. Almost everyone I had met and some I hadn't were watching from the crowd now, and I was beginning to think that Miz and the strong man must have quite an act.

Miz let me sit in the chair with the arm straps, then he brought the straps around my shoulders and let me hook myself to the chair while he explained, "As you know, Miss Elizabeth, I am Miz, and this is my assistant, Rusev."

He motioned to the strong man, and the man nodded and grinned broadly at me, then he looked at Miz and said with a thick foreign accent, "You refer to me as _friend_ or former _cellmate_ , not assistant. I do not need titles with 'ass' in it."

Some of the Carnies laughed in the audience, and I did as well. Miz gave Rusev a stern look, all part of the show, and focused his attention on me again as he asked, "Miss Elizabeth, do you mind if I guess your weight before Rusev intends to balance you and the chair on his chin?"

I was amazed by the visual of being balanced and played along, answering, "Sure!"

Rusev broke in right on time with, "The girl's weight is no matter to me! I am strongest man in the United of States!"

A few whistles and hoots from the audience of Carnies made me believe that Rusev had a good reputation for testing his strength. Miz argued, "You should _know_ the weight _before_ you lift it. Did you know some people weigh as much as a whale when under the gravity of other planets?"

Rusev laughed, saying, "Ha! A whale would be _**nula**_ for me!"

"What about a mountain?" Miz quickly asked.

"No problem," Rusev answered.

"The planet itself?" Miz asked.

Rusev folded his arms and answered, "That would be pushing it."

Again, the Carnies laughed from the audience and so did I. Miz put his fingertips on his forehead and made mysterious eyes at me. Then he said, "Miss Elizabeth, I guess your weight to be...ten pounds."

Rusev scoffed and asked, "The weight of the _girl_ or the _chair_?"

The audience laughed with me, and Miz corrected Rusev, "I'm using a specialized weight system."

Rusev rolled his eyes and replied, "Aw, the _Don't Anger My Wife About Her Weight_ system."

A few married couples, including Marlyn, laughed at that one. Miz nodded and asked me, "Miss Elizabeth, are you with child?"

I nodded and Rusev argued again, "What did you think her round tum-tum was full of? You think she was hiding a bowling ball for giggles?"

Laughs abound from the audience. Miz mocked agitation and replied, "I wanted to ask the lady so she does not think I am calling her fat."

Rusev rolled his eyes again and countered, "So it would be better to ask if she is carrying a second person instead."

A few more laughs came from the audience, then Miz sighed at Rusev and asked me, "Miss Elizabeth, would you like to know the sex of the baby?"

I had heard that Miz was a very accurate psychic so I perked up and answered, "Oh yes, I would!"

"Don't get excited, he's not that good," Rusev warned me jokingly, and the audience laughed more heartily.

Miz pressed his fingertips against his forehead again and said, "Yes, yes...I see it now...you are going to have..."

"Twins," Rusev interrupted.

Miz gave him a stern look again, inspiring laughter from the crowd and myself, then Miz closed his eyes and focused again, "Miss Elizabeth, you are going to have..."

"A boy _and_ girl," Rusev interjected quickly.

Again Miz opened his eyes to glare at Rusev and the Carnies laughed again. Once more, Miz closed his eyes and proclaimed, "Miss Elizabeth, you are not having twins, but you are going to have a baby..."

Miz opened his eyes and his mouth opened as though he were about to answer me. Suddenly, his expression went from putting on a show to completely blank. He was staring into my eyes, not moving at all, then his own eyes became filled with tears and his expression spiraled downward into the deepest form of sadness I had ever seen.

I heard some of the Carnies in the audience gasp and murmur like this wasn't part of the show. I became frightened. I glanced at Dean and then at Uncle Trumbly, but they were both focusing on Miz. I quickly turned to look at Rusev and asked him, "Is Miz alright?"

Whether he were serious or trying to comfort me, Rusev kept up his part of the act and replied, "Aw, he is fine. He is doing this for effects of drama."

I turned back to Miz, feeling in my gut that this wasn't part of the show. Miz blinked and his face returned to normal again. He smiled broadly at me, the sadness completely disappearing as he said, "You will have a boy."

Although the situation had gotten strange, I couldn't contain myself when I heard that. I smiled as brightly as I could and asked, "Really? I'm so happy!"

The other Carnies began clapping and some cheered for me. I glanced at Dean and my uncle again, but they were clapping and smiling at me like nothing strange had just happened and my fears subsided. Maybe it really was just part of the show. Rusev took the back part of the chair to prepare to lift me up in it, whispering to me as he did, "I'm still putting twenty greens on twins."

:-:

"So uh...Bray...that's a cool name," AJ tried to make small talk while he drove us to the party that night.

"My last name is Wyatt, like a gunslinger," Bray joked, but AJ was too terrified to get the joke.

"So...isn't Bray like, a rebel name or something?" AJ asked.

"Sure is. My momma was always a sucker for the rebels," Bray smiled broadly.

This time AJ laughed a little, probably more to try and ease the tension in the car than anything. He pulled around the corner and came up to the last bend at the other side of town, where an old beat up double wide sat with all its lights on and a dozen working class trucks were parked all in a badly formed row out front. AJ pulled his truck into the last spot on the row, then we got out and he led us inside. So far, Bray had been a sweetheart. I was hoping his attitude would last.

When we came in the door, every high school aged student in town stopped and turned to look at us. Even the music lowered profoundly, bringing up the awkwardness that was teenage introduction. Only one couple dared to come near us and they were older. The male had a shaved head and military cameo pants and the female was a tall and beautiful blonde with a pink dress and perfectly manicured nails. The male reached out his hand to shake mine and said, "Hi, I'm Carl, AJ's step-brother, and this is my wife, Megan."

Carl shook my hand strongly, then shook Bray's with a confident smile. Megan was not so keen to either of us. She shook my hand but winced at Bray's mechanical oil stained coveralls and dry, cracked hands with black fingernails. She did still shake his hand. Carl looked at me and stated somewhat loudly, "We're the adults you asked for."

I distinctly heard a few snickers from the teenagers around us and I blushed before I could try to hide my feelings. AJ thankfully took pity on me and rushed me over to a table near the far wall, saying, "We bought you some presents for your birthday and for your welcome to the town party."

"Oh really? You didn't have to do that," I replied.

AJ handed me a present and I opened it quickly. I may have been a little too eager since I hadn't opened a present with wrapping paper and bows on it since Trumbly stopped visiting me as a child. My father thought wrapping paper was a waste of money, since all anyone ever did was rip it to shreds anyway. I popped open the box and pulled out a generic MP3 player with headphones included and a pretty metallic blue skin.

"I hope you don't already have one," AJ smiled.

I gasped and told him, "No, I don't! This is so great!"

His smile broadened when he heard that, and he pointed to the box, adding, "I didn't know what kind of music you liked, so Megan put in a bunch of girly songs."

I put the player back inside and looked at the table for the next present, adding to Megan before I did, "Thank you!"

The other people around us were still quiet, but Bray nudged my lower back as if to indicate that he was glad to see me having fun. AJ pulled out another present, but this one was rolled up like a poster with a rubber band on it. He handed it to me and I pulled the band off, then he helped me unroll it across the table so I could see it better.

The date on the poster said 1974, and in bold black letters it read: TRUMBLY & REINHEARST TRAVELING CARNIVAL. There was a picture of an old red train car in the middle of a wheat field, and the man I assumed was Reinhearst stood in front of the train car in a pair of oversize coveralls with his arms folded in front of him. He looked older, his hair stark white and in different directions in the picture, and he had a bit of a scowl on his face. My uncle Trumbly, looking decades younger with long blond hair that went down to his shoulders, was standing on one leg on top of the train car dressed in a nice pair of black suit pants and a white silk shirt. He was holding up a black umbrella with a curious look on his face while he stared up at the blue sky like it might rain, even though there were only a few small white clouds in the picture.

I assumed it must've been where he got his phrase about believing it might rain no matter how nice the sky was.

"It's authentic. My dad knows the advertisement director in town who helped Trumbly and Reinhearst develop these posters when they first started their troupe. The director still had some of the original posters in storage and he let me have one when I told him you just moved to town," AJ explained to me.

My eyes started to fill with tears. Bray was peeking over my shoulder and also observing the poster with deep concentration. I looked at AJ, then looked around at some of the other people as I said, "Thank you. This is the best present I've ever gotten."

The atmosphere seemed to instantly lighten up, and AJ put out his arms as if to welcome us, saying, "Enjoy the party."

:-:

The entire night was a blast. Most of the other people were eating, drinking, and hanging out. I really didn't get introduced to them, but at least I discovered that AJ's Asian friend from the movie theater was named Asuka, and the other guy that was also at the theater on my night with Sheamus and Dean was named Alberta. All three of them went up to the makeshift stage to sing karaoke, and it just so happened that every song playing had a cheesy pop based rhythm. Watching three guys sing their hearts out to a _girl-meets-boy-girl-breaks-up-with-boy-girl-wants-boy-back_ song was really funny, and it only got better when Megan handed me a thong and said, "Throw this at them while they're singing and they'll do another number."

I did, and so did Megan. They sang at least four songs, AJ being the loudest, until all of them were too exhausted to go on. AJ stayed with me most of the night. Bray was not far behind, although he was more interested in some of the ladies that kept coming up to him and asking him questions about his profession and his carny background.

When it was so late that most everyone had gone home or passed out on the lawn, Bray and I went outside with AJ and I got into the back of AJ's truck to sit down for a minute and look at the stars before he drove us home. AJ put my presents in the truck and sat beside me while Bray stayed near the bumper. Bray was watching two girls talking nearby. They came over and chatted with him after a while. AJ took the opportunity while Bray's back was turned to ask me, "Are you and Bray dating?"

I shook my head and answered, "No, he's just being my bodyguard for the night."

AJ chuckled, then he leaned in a little more closely to me and whispered, "That's good to know, because I have been dying to kiss you all night."

I smiled in response, and AJ leaned in further. I figured after all he had done for me tonight, I should let him plant one on me. He joined his lips to mine, and it was a soft, sweet kiss. Thankfully he was not an amateur and he didn't try to stick his tongue down my throat. It was actually so nice, I let him linger instead of pulling away like I used to do with Seth.

"Hey!" Bray shouted, breaking us up.

I turned to face him and Bray had a strange look on his face. He wasn't showing a sign of jealousy like I expected, but he was locking his eyes with mine and he had a hardened stare, almost like he was wordlessly telling me what I was doing was a mistake.

"I should get you home," AJ said weakly, then he hightailed it out of the truck and into the driver's seat.

Bray quickly lost his expression and reached out as if to beckon me to him so he could help me down. I did get up and leaned into his arms, and he did gently bring me back to the ground, but he whispered harshly into my ear just as I started to walk away, "He's playing you like a fiddle."

He sounded just like Dean had last week when he told me what the guys in this town _really_ wanted from the new girl. If I were with normal friends, they probably would've just let me have my fun and been there for me if mistakes were made, but my _carny_ friends were different. They gave me the truth before it happened, sticking by their own. I had the distinct impression that if mistakes were made with them, all may not be forgiven because when one was hurt, all were hurt.

"It was just a kiss, Bray," I whispered back as AJ started up his truck.

Bray held onto my arm a second longer when I tried to pull away from him, then finally he let me go. The whole ride home was quiet, and I could tell AJ's mind was racing as he glanced at me and at Bray numerous times, trying to determine what he had done wrong. When he pulled up to my uncle's house, Bray got out first. I took my time, turning back to tell AJ, "Thank you for the great gifts."

"No problem. Hey, if you want to go out to lunch sometime or something..." AJ began, but Bray reached into the passenger seat to grab my presents and he trailed off.

I nodded, telling him, "I'll get back to you."

AJ seemed to brighten up a bit, then he drove away before Bray could argue with him. Bray had my presents in his arms, and he walked with me back to my room. I opened the door to find the lamp light on and Dean still awake. It was close to midnight according to the antique alarm clock next to my new goldfish and I asked, "What are you doing still awake at this hour?"

Bray put my MP3 player on my bed, then unrolled the poster and asked before Dean could answer me, "Where do you want this?"

"Over there, I guess," I pointed to a clear space on the far wall parallel to my bed where I would see it most often.

Dean sat up and observed Bray putting up the poster, then he glanced at my player and asked, "Did you get lots of presents?" 

"Just a couple of things to welcome me. I think the player was from everybody, but the poster was from AJ. He got it from an advertising manager in town who had original posters from when Uncle Trumbly started his troupe in the seventies."

I pointed to the picture when Bray moved aside and Dean handed him a small staple gun to hang it by the edges. Dean's eyes widened a little while he stared at it. It was the first time I had seen him show any sign of consideration toward AJ as Dean breathed, "Sweet."

When Bray finished, he turned back to face Dean and asked, "Is it the same as Trumbly's one in his office?"

I had no idea where my uncle's office was, but no one cared to inform me. Dean just answered, "Yeah, but Trumbly's is all beat up and faded. This one looks really nice."

Both Dean and Bray were staring at the poster nostalgically and I was feeling left out, so I brought up something I thought would catch Dean's interest, saying, "AJ's sister-in-law Megan is really nice. She had a baby boy about two years ago, and she said she still had some baby stuff if I wanted it."

This did get Dean's attention, but not in the way I had hoped. He turned to face me, but he had a look of sadness and guilt instead of a look of excitement for me. The fear that I felt when Miz had focused on me earlier returned again, and I started to get upset. Dean knew something that I didn't, and I wanted him to tell me what it was.

Almost as soon as I opened my mouth to ask him, Dean's expression faded and Bray turned away as he said, "I'm going."

I tried my best to repeat Dean's behavior and let my own expression fade, realizing that Bray was probably not the right person to be standing there when I was asking tough questions. I told Bray as he walked out, "Thanks for coming with me tonight. I had fun."

"I'm sure you did," Bray said sarcastically over his shoulder before closing the door and leaving me alone with Dean.

I whirled around to get my question out first, but it was too late. Dean had heard the sarcasm in Bray's voice and became instantly alert, asking, "What was he referring to?"

Obviously, my question would not be answered unless I answered Dean's first. I wasn't about to do that, so I pulled up the covers and said, "Nothing, he was just being funny. Good night, Dean!"

He opened his mouth to argue, but I switched off the lamp light before he could and closed my eyes, hoping he wouldn't try to force me to answer. He didn't, but it took a few minutes before I heard him move to lay down to rest.


	6. Chapter 6

6:

Almost as soon as I woke up the next morning, I knew something was up.

Dean was already awake and dressed. Charlotte was in our room again, poking him and giggling like she had no shame. I could also see some bruises on the right side of her cheek and some finger marks on her wrists like someone had grabbed her violently. Probably some of the battle scars from her night with Kevin just before my birthday.

I got up and Dean informed me right away, "Miz wants us all outside in a few minutes for our weekly group therapy session."

"I have to go, too?" I questioned, provoking a glare from Charlotte.

"Why wouldn't you come, _short stuff_? Have secrets to hide from us?" Charlotte asked before Dean could answer me.

I instantly became self-conscious, despite the fact that I was trying hard not to take Charlotte seriously anymore. I wasn't _that_ short, but in comparison, the only ones shorter than me so far were the little people. I tried to hide my foolish feelings behind a defensive statement, saying, "I don't have secrets, I just don't think I need therapy is all."

Walking past them, I was about to enter the bathroom and leave Charlotte behind when she countered snidely, "Your _sperm donor_ left you and your parents dumped you with the traveling Carnival. I think that qualifies for therapy!"

She sounded more sarcastic than cruel, but I couldn't help feeling angry by the truth in her words. I jumped when I heard Dean say to Charlotte acidly, "Get out."

She blinked. "What?"

"I said get the fuck out!" Dean screamed at her in a tone that I had never heard him use before.

She continued to stand there, looking as if she were debating whether Dean was kidding or not. He slammed his brush down and grabbed her arms, forcing her to turn away from me, then he shoved her to the door while she attempted to resist him and he threw Charlotte out into the hall. Dean slammed the door so hard, I thought I heard the hinges creak from the violent strain.

Dean was standing at an angle so I couldn't see his face well, but he was heaving with rage and his fists were clenched so hard, I wondered if his fingernails were creating blood in his palms. I had never seen him so angry before. I had to admit, it was super exciting.

I thought about saying something, then thought the better of it and waited for Dean to respond. It took him a good minute to calm down, then he relaxed his fists and said to me in a thick voice, "Get dressed."

Normally I would've argued with his controlling ways. This time, I nodded and went into the bathroom. When I came back out showered and ready to go, Dean was waiting for me in almost the same place. He had finished drying his hair and he had on a pair of jeans now, still denying a shirt when faced with the daunting summer heat once we reached the open air outside.

Dean found three chairs in the shade. We sat down together with an empty seat to my left. Most of the people took seats around us in a wide circle of chairs. They were holding ice cream treats and I realized that we had skipped breakfast. A pretty freckle faced girl in a yellow sun dress came up to me with a wooden case full of treats and asked, "Would you like one?"

She had bright red hair divided into two ponytails. Her ponytails moved from side-to-side when I pointed out a green ice cream treat and she handed it to me.

I told her, "Thank you! And I like your hair!"

She turned as red as her hair and smiled. I noticed her teeth were almost completely rotted through. I remained upbeat and kept smiling at her. After she left, Dean informed me, "She has a condition where her gums are diseased and it has spread to her teeth."

"Will she be okay?" I asked, concerned for the girl's well being.

Dean half-smiled at me and answered, "She'll be fine. The dentist will pull her teeth when they're bad enough and then she'll have a nice pair of white dentures. Trumbly will pay for the whole thing."

A distinctly familiar cackle from nearby made me turn my head. I saw Charlotte sitting with Kevin and Bray just a few yards away from me. Charlotte was the one laughing. She took her ice cream treat and stick it entirely into her mouth and down her throat without gagging, holding it barely at the end of its stick. Kevin and Bray both stared at her wide eyed and laughed. I just felt disgusted.

A young man about a year younger than I was suddenly stepped into my line of vision. I almost instantly realized he was the same red headed boy that was punched in the stomach by Bray last week, the one who I had hoped was okay. He was dressed in the same coveralls as last time, holding his worker's hat in his hands. He was nervously folding and unfolding it between his fingers. He waved timidly at me and said, "Hi."

He brightened when he glanced at Dean, adding, "Hey, man."

"Hey, Sami," Dean replied.

Putting out his hand for me to shake, the boy stated, "I'm Sami Zayn."

I noticed his handshake was soft and sweet. His sweet eyes observed me eagerly, like a puppy waiting for approval. I smiled broadly and told him, "You probably already know, but I'm Liz Chapfield."

He laughed a little and took his hand away, then he asked, "May I sit next to you?"

"Sure," I answered, and he quickly sat down, still watching me eagerly.

The red headed girl returned, but this time she focused on Sami, asking him, "Would you like a treat, Sam?"

"Yeah, I'll take one," he answered.

He sweetly took the treat she handed him and the girl walked away, then Sami opened his treat and frowned, saying, "Aw darn, I don't like cherry."

I had already opened my treat and taken one lick, but I offered, "I'll take the cherry if you want my apple one. I licked it once but I promise I didn't get it all slobbery."

Sami laughed again. He seemed extremely upbeat compared to when I first saw him getting the wind pounded out of him by Bray.

"Thanks," he said, taking hold of my treat while he handed me his.

Miz stepped into the circle and held up his hands. Everybody got quiet. At first, Miz stayed to the other side of the circle, working with that part of the group so his back was turned to us. I thought a group session meant the whole group got involved, but it seemed like Miz was focusing on certain people, bringing up deliberate points and judging outcomes based on the complaints or issues brought up.

Almost a good hour had passed before Miz suddenly turned to face me. I had tried to focus on my treat for the first half of the hour, and I had spent the second half licking my fingers to try and get the stickiness off without looking like I had no manners, so I was startled when Miz came up to me and said, "Liz, let's work with you for a minute."

"Okay," I smiled, letting Miz help me to my feet.

He took me out a few steps to the middle of the circle, then he went over to Charlotte, Kevin and Bray. The three of them had been socializing and talking the whole time. They were only quiet when Miz came near. He had Bray stand up and come over to me first, then Miz motioned to me and asked, "Bray, would you like to make your feelings known to Liz?"

At first, I thought Miz was referring to romantic feelings. Bray spoke honestly and undeniably, saying to me, "Liz, I don't like that you let that local boy kiss you at your party last night."

Several gasps escaped the lips of some of the listeners, and I grew hot in the face. I didn't dare look at Dean for his reaction. Bray went on, "He's just using you 'cause he probably wants you to invite him back here so he can say he saw Trumbly's house full of freak shows and his friends can poke fun of us."

I glanced around, and more than a few people nodded in agreement with Bray. I hadn't really thought of it that way. Miz spoke to me before I could think much, asking, "What are your feelings about Bray's words, Liz?"

"I guess he's right. I mean, I wasn't planning on inviting AJ here, and I had no intention of letting him make fun of everyone."

Miz clarified my thoughts as if he had seen inside my head, saying out loud, "Your intentions with AJ were purely platonic. You allowed him to kiss you because he asked if he could, but you were not intending harm upon any of us, and you had no awareness that his actions were anything other than flirtatious."

I nodded, and the crowd seemed to become less tense. Miz touched Bray's shoulder and led him back to his seat, where they spoke a few words to each other that I couldn't hear. Then, Miz brought Kevin back with him to stand in front of me. Again, Miz asked, "Would you like to confront Liz with your most recent concern, Kevin?"

He shoved his hands into his coverall pockets and stared at me, as if debating whether he should say what was on his mind or not. I noticed that Kevin was sporting a black eye, and I wondered once more if this was leftover from his raunchy night with Charlotte.

Miz distinctly glanced over at me, but didn't say a word.

"I don't like that you make my brother mad, Liz. Dean storms around the house and broods in front of the TV and yells at Charlotte all the time now. He didn't used to do that before you came along," Kevin said.

I felt more guilty with Kevin's concerns than I did with Bray. Before I could respond, Charlotte came up from behind Kevin and said to me, "He's right! Everyone knows you don't like me!"

Miz put his hand on Kevin's shoulder, but didn't attempt to stop Charlotte. I argued with her, saying, "I never said that I didn't like you!"

It was true. I didn't like her, but I never said that out loud.

"If you like me, how come you didn't invite me to the movie with Dean and Sheamus when I let you come with me and Bray and Kevin?" Charlotte demanded.

"I didn't know you wanted to go..." I began, but Charlotte cut me off, accusing, "How come you didn't ask me to go with you and Bray to your birthday party in town when you knew I wanted to go?"

Her words were putting me off. I had no idea that she even felt that way at all, but somehow she was making me feel like I had deliberately left her alone, and her guilt trip was working. I looked at Miz for help and he put up his hand as if he were about to stop Charlotte. She stepped in front of both Miz and Kevin and stared me right in the eyes, saying as hatefully as she probably felt this morning when Dean threw her out of our room, "When Miz looked at you funny on stage yesterday, it wasn't part of the show. He had a vision about you, and I heard him telling Dean and Trumbly all about it."

I could see Dean getting up out of the corner of my eye, but I was too afraid to look over at him as Charlotte finished with a wicked smile, saying, "Miz saw you having your babies, but it's going to be bloody and awful and you'll be all torn up inside. After all your trouble, your baby boy is going to be stillborn."

Dean's fist connected with Charlotte's nose and blood burst out around me. I stepped back to get away from it. I saw Kevin look at Charlotte with shock, then he started for Dean with his own fist up. With both brothers so close together I could see they were about to have a knock out fight. Miz stepped between them before Kevin could throw the punch, then he focused his eyes on Charlotte and shouted, "Stop!"

Charlotte had somehow gotten back to her feet again. Her nose was bleeding all down her lips and chin, but she stood as still and as blank faced as a doll. Miz focused his eyes on Kevin, and the same thing happened. Using his right hand to push Dean gently aside, Miz pointed his thumb and index finger in a triangle shape at Kevin's forehead between his eyes and said, "You are not angry with your brother, Kevin."

He did the same thing to Charlotte's forehead, telling her, "You will forget what you heard me say regarding Liz's unborn child, Charlotte. You stumbled in the grass and broke your nose falling against your knee."

Miz then directed the same motion at the people in the circle around us, speaking loudly and strongly, "None of you will bring this event up again."

The others sitting around us nodded their heads. They didn't seem to be hypnotized at all, except for Bray, who nodded blankly. Miz snapped his fingers twice, and Charlotte and Kevin returned to normal. Charlotte grabbed her nose and said, "Oh my God."

Kevin took her by the arm to look her over as if he didn't notice the rest of us standing there, adding, "Jesus, Char."

Bray started to get up to help. Miz also seemed to be immersed with Charlotte. I took the opportunity to turn and walk away from the group as fast as I could. All I wanted to do was get back into the house and back to my room.

I knew Dean was following after me, so I tried to go faster. I rushed through the front door and I tried to slam it behind me, but he grabbed it before it closed and pushed through. He called out to me, "Liz wait!"

Tears were forming in my eyes, blurring my vision. I was feeling exhausted and upset from what Charlottte had told me, and it was all rushing through my mind at once. I started up the stairs. Dean stayed at the last step, asking me, "What are you going to do?"

"I don't want to be here anymore! I'm going to call my daddy and beg him to take me home!" I cried.

Stumbling halfway up the stairs, I couldn't move anymore, so I sat down and started sobbing. Dean started coming up the stairs slowly, asking me, "What if your dad doesn't want you to come home?"

For a moment, I forgot my tears and became angry, shouting at Dean, "Then I'll sleep in his garage! I don't care, I want to get away!"

I turned to face the banister and started sobbing again. I felt Dean sit down behind me and wrap his arms around my swollen belly. He pressed me close to his warm, soft body and whispered into my ear, "I don't want anyone to take you away from me."

I stopped sobbing so much, but I refused to turn and look at Dean. The strap of my green sun dress was starting to fall over my left shoulder along with my bra strap, and I felt Dean press his lips against the skin where the straps should be as he ran his fingertips up my arm.

My heart started fluttering, and my stomach felt light and heavy at the same time. I didn't remember feeling this anxious with Seth. Dean brushed my hair to one side and kissed the back of my neck, then I let him slip his fingers underneath the straps that were threatening to fall, and he guided them down as far as they would go without exposing me, but enough so that he could kiss me in places on my upper back and arm where I had never been kissed before.

I forgot what Charlotte had said for a moment. I forgot about my father and about my uncle and about AJ and Bray and everyone else. This moment was just for Dean and me. I turned around and took his lips in my own, pulling him into me like I would never let him go. It felt like kissing a heavily bearded man, but I could still feel his soft lips parting my own, the tip of his tongue cautiously exploring mine.

I started to feel it again. That strange ticklish sensation between my legs where the pink orange seed was. This time, it felt hot, and it started to throb just a little. I also felt something happening in the middle, where only Seth had entered me. I couldn't tell if it were enlarging or throbbing like the orange seed, but I had remembered this sensation from the last time, and I suddenly realized that my body was preparing itself for Dean to make love to me.

"Liz? Elizabeth? May I speak with you?" I heard Miz's voice call from the front door.

Dean quickly but reluctantly pulled away from me, and I noticed he sat back awkwardly on the steps while I turned to face Miz when he caught sight of us. He didn't argue about what was going on, but came up the stairs and helped me to my feet, saying, "I would like to speak to you alone, please."

I glanced at Dean, and he nodded, his expression pained. I remembered that same look coming from Seth when we spent our first time together. I realized exactly what was going on with Dean. Taking Miz's arm so that he could lead us away and Dean could have some time to settle down, I answered, "Alright, we'll talk."

He led me to the room that smelled of incense when I first came here, and Miz let me enter a dazzling structure made mostly of violet and blue silks. His bed was huge, covered with an elaborate overhang, the incense at the foot of the bed displayed on a large antique trunk. A vanity not as large as Dean's but just as well made was on the other side of the room, where two chairs were positioned next to it. Miz took the chair nearest the vanity and motioned for me to sit just in front of him, then he smiled kindly and said, "I could allow you to forget what you heard from Charlotte today, but I would rather explain it to you more thoroughly instead."

My tears were returning again, and I almost wished Dean was holding me once more. I asked, "Is my baby boy going to be stillborn?"

"Yes, that is what I saw," Miz answered honestly.

My head started to spin, but Miz went on, saying, "Liz, you must understand that the future is not set in stone. What I saw was one path of many dozens that you could encounter based on your own choices. My visions are subjective, based one the path that is currently in front of you, but three months from now when you're ready to give birth, it may be completely different."

"What if I want both of us to die?" I asked weakly.

Miz looked at me with a horrified expression and asked, "Why would you ask such a thing?"

I let the tears fall down my cheeks, answering, "I don't belong to anyone, and neither will my son. I will have to tell him that his grandparents don't want to ever meet him, I have to explain to him that his father is long gone and won't ever return, and I even have to tell him that I'm falling in love with a man covered in body hair!"

I didn't actually mean for that last part to slip out. I covered my mouth after I said it, and Miz's eyes softened. He said to me, "Trumbly took you in because he knew that your life has been and will be full of hardships, Liz. He knew you would feel right at home with us because we've all had our share of troubles. You belong here, Liz. Your offspring belongs here, too."

I smiled, and Miz mentioned, "I believe your boy with body hair feels the same about you."

:-:

After I talked to Miz, he handed me a rolled up wad of cash and told me, "Give this to Sheamus next time you see him, will you?"

I told him I would. That evening, when I had some free time, I decided to go looking for Sheamus to give him the money so I wouldn't lose it.

The setting sun made it hard to see around me, but I managed to find the tree where Sheamus was last time, and I saw one of several barns just fifty yards ahead. The closest one had some kind of light coming from it because I could see it glowing through the doorway. I hoped that Sheamus was in there as I walked up to the door and pulled the latch to open it.

I peeked inside. I did see Sheamus right away, but he was standing behind Sami and they were both stark naked. Sheamus was pushing up against Sami's backside while they were both leaning forward against an old wooden table.

Eavesdropping on the kids at school had given me clues as to what being gay was, and what gay men do together, but when seeing it right in front of me, it looked less like some freaky story and more like a process of two people coming together as one in a completely unique and passionate way. Sheamus caught sight of me almost immediately and shouted, " _Christ_!"

He lurched forward and looked away from me, his face reddening while he released into Sami. Gripping the side of the table in his own release, Sami let out a long groan. I quickly said, "Sorry," and shut the door, but when I turned to leave I realized I was completely in the dark and I had no idea which direction to turn to get home.

I heard shuffling in the barn and a few choice words. I stood near the door, waiting for something to happen while I kept the deer-in-headlights look on my face. Finally, Sheamus rushed out the door with a pair of brown pants on but no shirt, revealing some broad working man strength on his upper body as he ran past me and a few yards into the night, calling out, "Liz? Oi, Liz!"

"I'm right here, Sheamus," I came quietly out of the shadows.

I expected him to start yelling at me or something, but instead he turned to face me and breathed a sigh of what looked like relief, running his hand through his strawberry red hair. He was still sweaty and out of breath for obvious reasons, as well as some of it may have been because of me. He put his hands on his hips and asked, "Ya gonna tell?"

Sami appeared in the doorway with a pair of boxer shorts on and an oversize grease stained shirt. He pressed his face up to the door's frame and timidly picked at the paint with his delicate fingers while he stared at me with his somber eyes, pleading quietly, "Please don't tell on us, Liz. I get enough heat from Bray and Kevin just because they _think_ I'm gay. They said that if they caught me doing anything like this, they would shove a pole up my ass."

I shook my head at Sami and told both of them, "I won't tell anyone. I can keep a secret."

Sheamus seemed to believe me right away and started to go back into the barn, arguing with Sami, "Why do ya let those two _daisies_ talk to ya like tha'? I told ya to come to me if they're tormentin' yew!"

Sami sighed and answered with a rhetorical question, "Do you really think they would leave me alone if I let you fight my battles for me?"

Sheamus scowled and went inside. Sami motioned for me to come in as well. I heard the sound of Charlotte's cackling laughter coming from somewhere a distance away. Sami quickly pulled me inside and closed the door. He informed Sheamus, "Bray, Kevin and Charlotte are out there. We should wait here a while."

Nodding, Sheamus sat down on a makeshift bed near the far corner of the room. There were a few things near the bed, like a beat up baseball glove and a cigar box. I wondered if this was where Sheamus lived. All of the stables were empty except for one near the end, where a young zebra was standing tall and proud. He became exciting and started stomping when I noticed him, then he stuck his head out in a desperate attempt to try and get near me.

"Aw, can't say naw to a lass, can ya, Merlin?" Sheamus asked the zebra when I came near.

Merlin the zebra shook his head back and forth as if to answer Sheamus, and I laughed. I reached over to pet him while Sami came up beside me. Sheamus got up to stand on the other side. I handed Sheamus his money and said, "This is from Miz."

"Thanks, dove," Sheamus took it and smiled.

All of us stopped and turned when we heard two knocks at the door.

Sheamus became alert and waited. There was one more knock shortly after the other two. Sighing and walking over to answer it, Sheamus told us, "It's Dean."

Opening the door, Sheamus nodded when I heard Dean ask him from outside, "Is she here?"

Dean stepped inside, but I had already turned away to pet Merlin the zebra. Sami picked at the splinters of wood on Merlin's stable just next to me while I listened to Dean and Sheamus talking. Dean asked about me, "Does she know?"

He must've noticed Sheamus and Sami scantily clad and assumed I had come at a bad time. I saw Sheamus nod out of the corner of my eye. Dean asked, "Did she see anything?" 

I guess he thought I couldn't hear him, or he didn't care. Sheamus replied using the best terms that he could think of, "She came in jus' befure the bow out."

Dean muttered something that I couldn't hear. I almost turned to face them when Sami suddenly asked me, "Are you mad at me, Liz?"

I faced him with confusion, asking, "Why would I be mad?"

He shrugged his shoulders and answered timidly, "I don't know, maybe because I sleep with men."

"Well are you mad at me, then?" I countered.

This time it was his turn to become confused. He asked, "Why would I be mad at you?"

"Because I sleep with men too," I answered.

Sami laughed, and I glanced back at Sheamus and Dean. Sheamus was snickering, and Dean had a wry smile on his face. Sami finished his laughter and asked, "So you're not mad?"

"Of course not. Would it make you feel better if I told you a secret about me that I don't want anyone else to know, and if you keep my secret I'll keep yours?"

Sami leaned in eagerly, answering, "Okay. What is it?"

I continued to pet Merlin while I explained, "The guy who knocked me up, his name is Seth, and he was a huge momma's boy. No lie, he told her I was a student housekeeper he was paying to clean his room when I came over and she believed it!"

Sheamus snickered from behind us and I continued, "So anyway, when we had our first time together, we decided to do it at his house because his mom was out running errands and we were supposed to be alone. Well, when I was going home later that evening, she stopped me alone outside on my way to my car and she said that she had come home early to do yard work, and when she was heading toward the garage, she heard some interesting sounds coming from her son's room."

Sami looked at me wide eyed, asking, "Did she know what you were doing?"

"I was sure we were caught, but instead she asked me, 'What movie was my son watching while you were cleaning, today?'"

Sheamus burst out into a fit of laughter, but Sami kept listening while I finished, "I didn't want to tell her the truth and confess that her son just popped me and I bled on his solar system sheets, so I told her that Seth was watching a sex education video so he could be more informed than the other students in health class."

By that time, Sheamus was on the floor, tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard. Even Dean was laughing, though not as hard as Sheamus. While Sami tried to keep it together, I told him, "Don't tell anyone! If Bray, Kevin and Charlotte find out, they'll make fun of me forever!"

That really set Sheamus off. I didn't know if he would ever come up for air again.


	7. Chapter 7

7:

Dean took me back to our room that night after I gave Sheamus the money from Miz. I went right to sleep, but my dreams that night were more vivid than ever.

 _I saw that Kevin, Bray and Charlotte had come back to the barn and found Sheamus and Sami. Bray and Kevin were beating up Sami in front of Sheamus. I was araid they were going to shove a pole into Sami like they said they would when I had caught them beating on him at the side of the house over a week ago. I started running to get to Sami and save him but I could never get very close. The dream was so real, I could even smell the grass underneath my bare feet and I could feel the hot wind rushing through my hair while I ran. My ears rang as I called out, "Don't hurt him! Don't hurt him!"_

 _At some point in the dream, I was able to get Sami away from the others. Bray, Kevin and Charlotte were angry with me for knowing about Sami and Sheamus and not reporting it. They forced me to strip down in front of them. I removed my clothes, but when I looked down, I was no longer pregnant. Charlotte laughed at me. Sami wrapped a blanket around me and told me to sleep under the moonlight so that Dean wouldn't be ashamed of me. I did as I was told, and the dream faded away into another, less vivid scene._

"Is she dead?" I heard Kevin's voice asking from nearby.

"She's still breathing, stupid! She can't be dead," Charlotte argued.

My eyes were closed, and I felt a blanket wrapped around me, as well as what felt like grass underneath me. I wasn't quite awake enough to realize what was going on. _Was I still dreaming?_

"Is she naked under there?" Kevin snickered.

"I dunno. I'll check," Bray's voice sounded nearer.

I felt the blanket around me being lifted, and a slight, " _Ooohhh_ ," sound.

Opening my eyes, I saw Bray crouched down by my head. He was peeking underneath my blanket and chuckling to himself. Kevin was also leaning as far forward as he could and grinning broadly. Charlotte was just next to him, also peeking at me with a mix of curiosity and disgust. Her nose was still purple and swollen from where Dean had punched her the day before. It was only then that I realized I was completely naked.

I screamed as loudly as I had ever screamed in my life. Bray fell back on his butt. Charlotte and Kevin backed away from me, wide-eyed and startled. I sat up and tried to stay covered underneath the blanket, feeling the humid outside air swirling around me as I backed up against the trunk of a tree. I looked around frantically, trying to understand what I was doing naked in the front yard and not sleeping in my bed like I was supposed to be. Images from the dream came flooding back. In my panic, I thought it was all real.

"What are you doing to me?!" I shouted at the three of them.

Bray quickly got to his feet and all three of them looked over at the front door a distance behind me. I turned my head to see my uncle Trumbly, Marlyn, Miz and Dean rushing outside to get to me, alerted by my screams.

Marlyn made it to me first, cupping my head in her hands as she asked, "Darling, are you alright?"

I was still very upset. I couldn't even make out a sentence. I just shook my head. Dean came up to Kevin and stated acidly, "What the fuck did you do to her?!"

Kevin put up his hands in defeat, totally serious when in the presence of my uncle. He quickly responded, "We just found her out here like this."

"WHERE ARE HER CLOTHES?!" Dean demanded so loudly, I jumped.

Miz had come to my other side. He and Marlyn were attempting to wrap the blanket more securely around me. I hadn't noticed that I was mostly covered except for a still revealing view of my right side and most of my backside. If I had been more awake, I would've blushed crimson knowing that everyone around me, including my uncle and his wife, had now seen a greater portion of me naked than even I had.

"I don't know, I don't know," Kevin shook his head violently when he saw the fierce look on my uncle's face.

"She was just lying there under that blanket when we walked by," Charlotte added, also looking fearful that she would be severely punished.

"I was checking her for heat stroke when she woke up and screamed," Bray finished the story.

Charlotte and Kevin nodded vehemently to make their story more believable.

Normally, I would have kept my mouth shut and let the lies be told because I knew better than to dig myself into a hole, but I was frightened and naked and hot and upset. I blabbed exactly what was on my mind but what I never should've said aloud, "They're lying, Uncle Trumbly! I woke up and they were pulling up the blanket and gawking at me and laughing!"

Dean lunged at Kevin before my uncle could take charge. They both fell to the ground, shoving each other and throwing punches. Dean far outreached Kevin with speed and agility. It took Miz, Bray and Trumbly to pull Dean off before Kevin's face became as blood-red as the setting sun.

Charlotte just started laughing at the situation. Marlyn helped me to my feet. Dean whirled around once he was on his feet again and took a swing at Bray. He connected with Bray's jaw and sent him to the ground before Trumbly and Miz could grab Dean's arms to hold him back. Dean was heaving and furious again, like he was when he had punched Charlotte for saying terrible things to me. Miz whispered something into Dean's ear. Dean was still upset, but Miz and Trumbly let him go and he didn't try to grab anyone again.

Laughing even harder, Charlotte seemed to have no concern for her comrades when they were down. A harsh look from Dean and Uncle Trumbly made her shut her mouth instantly. Marlyn started directing me back to the house, but I stopped after a few steps, saying, "My knees hurt."

I looked down to see that my knees were bruised and covered with dirt. Either I had been crawling at some point or I had fallen a few times. Dean came up beside me to pick me up, but I thought my pregnancy added too much weight. I argued, "I'm too heavy."

He lifted me up anyway, and we followed Marlyn back to the house. I looked back over Dean's shoulder once to see that Miz and Trumbly were talking very seriously with Kevin, Charlotte and Bray. I hoped they would be in some _real_ trouble this time.

Catching a few odd looks when we came into the house, I had the feeling I was about to be the subject of the rumor mill by the time Dean took me upstairs and out of sight of the others. If I were a strain on him at all, he didn't complain. He managed to get me back to our room before he put me down again. He eased me down until I could stand on my own two feet. I could tell from his gaze that there were a million things going through his head at that moment, most of them revenge plots.

"Liz, honey, did your father ever take you to see a doctor about your sleepwalking?" Marlyn asked.

I barely remembered she was still in the room with us. I broke away from Dean's intense gaze and watched as Marlyn went through my dresser and grabbed a new pair of clothes for me like she knew where everything was. It struck me as odd, but I was more intent on her question. I answered thoughtfully, "He did. The doctor thought it was caused by hormones and too much stress. He said I should try keeping a dream journal."

"Did your father let you keep a journal?" Marlyn asked.

She was his sister-in-law, but she was asking me questions about my dad like she had never met him. Since I had never met Marlyn, before, I assumed that my father had never met her, either.

"No, he didn't like journals. He thought they were too secretive," I answered.

Marlyn was pulling me away from Dean and directing me to the bathroom. I glanced back at Dean, but he was still standing there with his fists clenched and his jaw set when Marlyn shut the door behind us. Preparing a bath for me, Marlyn continued with her questions, asking, "What about artwork? Did he at least let you paint or express yourself somehow?"

"No, he thought the doctor wasn't right," I answered.

Marlyn came up more closely to me and took my hands in her own. She was so much taller than me that it felt like standing in front of a giant. Leaning into me so she was more at my eye level, she asked seriously, "What is causing you to have so much stress in this house, Elizabeth?"

I started to feel a lump forming in my throat, and I suddenly didn't want to talk anymore. I could almost feel Dean standing on the other side of the door, listening to every word. Marlyn squeezed my hands, trying to get an answer from me, but I didn't know what to tell her.

Should I point out that Charlotte and Kevin were making sexual jungle noise every other night in the room at the end of the ramp and keeping me awake?

Should I mention that the kids in town are my only hope for social survival when I start my senior year in September, and I'm trying desperately to get them to accept me, but every time I see them things go wrong?

Should I bring up that my uncle has only just started paying more attention to me, but we've had such a break from each other, I have no idea who he is anymore?

Should I ever say out loud that I have such strong feelings for Dean, I feel like I'm about to explode with emotion when he's in the room, and his borderline violent behavior toward others when defending me is so confusing because I've never known anyone who cared for me like that?

"I'm scared," I blurted so that I wouldn't say everything that was on my mind out loud at once.

I was so fearful that she was going to ask me more questions, that I would confess and I wouldn't be able to stop, that every problem I had encountered since I had to utter the words, "I'm pregnant," to my parents would come crashing down around me.

Thankfully, Marlyn asked me an easy one, "What are you scared of?"

"I don't want to be alone. I know I'm surrounded by people but I feel alone and I don't want to be alone," I said.

It was true. Surrounded by Carnies during the day, surrounded by townspeople when I go out and more recently surrounded by Dean's embrace when Charlotte and Kevin were beating each other and when I wanted so badly to go home, it seemed from all outside appearances that I had plenty of people around me, but all I could see was loneliness for me and my unborn child.

Marlyn engulfed me in a big hug. She told me when she released, "I think you need some time to explore. Tamina and I will take you into town today and you get to choose where we go, what we buy, and whatever else you want to do."

Strangely, I felt a huge sense of relief when she said that. Going into town to shop and have a day where I made the decisions sounded like a lot of fun. Marlyn let me go and left me alone with my thoughts while I planned out what we would be doing for the day.

:-:

The town was small enough that there weren't a million things to fill a day, but I was glad for what could be done. Tamina and Marlyn took me to the local general store to shop around. I wasn't planning on buying the place out, but I had a few requirements in mind that I went searching for when I got inside. Marlyn and Tamina let me drift off on my own for a while, and I was researching the different sizes and intensities of the isle full of fans when I heard AJ's familiar laugh in the isle next to me.

I smiled and went around to see him. I walked to the next isle and shouted, "Hey!"

My smile faded when I realized he was holding and locking lips with one of the girls that was at my birthday party.

They broke apart when I shouted, both of them startled. The girl put her hands on her hips and looked at AJ like he had planned for me to be there. He shrugged his shoulders like I was just some random person who had killed their mood, and I turned to leave.

I went back to the fan aisle. I grabbed a small metal fan and kept walking. I wanted to have something to help with the intense heat I was feeling at night, and possibly something I could use as a blunt object to throw at AJ for being an idiot should he try and follow me. Two aisles later, I turned back and realized he _was_ following me. He was moving slowly and looking around like he didn't want to make the effort but felt obligated to because I was upset. He walked up to meet me and said sheepishly, "Look, I still like you, okay? That girl was just some fun I was having, that's all."

"Is that what you told her about me?" I asked, even more furious with him for not acknowledging me than for sharing kisses with someone else.

He hardened his gaze, and I turned to walk away again. AJ grabbed my arm to stop me. I turned to face him and he said in a low, threatening voice, "If you mess things up for me, I'm going to tell everyone you're dating that _werewolf_ friend of yours."

I saw Tamina and Marlyn coming around the corner, so I turned back to AJ and stated boldly, "Be sure to tell everyone that he's more of a man than you'll ever be!"

AJ opened his mouth to argue, but Tamina and Marlyn were already close. The sight of Tamina's manly biceps made AJ turn and walk quickly. We all watched AJ leave the store. Tamina asked when he was out of sight again, "Is that cute little tart bothering you?"

"Not anymore," I answered, but I was sure this wasn't over.

:-:

Marlyn took me to another store to buy some art supplies and a journal. We ate some lunch at a local diner and continued shopping until it was late in the afternoon. I didn't find much, but Tamina bought bags and bags of sun dresses. Marlyn bought herself a pearl necklace that she said was, "For me to give to Trumbly so he can give it back to me for our anniversary."

By the time they brought me home, I was exhausted. I thanked both Marlyn and Tamina for their time and I started to make my way upstairs.

Passing one of the rooms in the hallway, I heard a male voice asking someone, "Did you hear what happened to Kevin, Bray, Dean and Charlotte?"

I stopped and listened intently as the other voice, also male, answered, "Yeah. Charlotte has kitchen duty and Bray has to take over the hard outside work for the whole week. I heard Dean has to help him some because he got into a fight with Kevin and Bray."

"Kevin got the beating of his life from Trumbly. Heard _Trum_ boxed his ears so bad, Kevin'll have scars when it heals," said the first male.

"'Cept for Dean, serves the rest of 'em right after preying on _Trum's_ poor little niece. That girl has been through enough. Did you know her father abused her?" the second male asked.

I started to get upset. I didn't believe my father had abused me. The first male went on, "Trumbly said it was more verbal, but there were some things he learned when she was a kid that made him wonder if something else was going on."

 _Something else? What were they talking about?_

"Could be the reason why she got pregnant so young. Children of sex abuse don't usually grow up making the right decisions, whether they remember the abuse or not," the second male said.

What? I was really starting to flare up. I wanted to go in there and give them a piece of my mind, but then the second male replied, "Dean's the worst case I've heard."

I started listening intently again, forgetting my own feelings as the first male responded, "That boy's all messed up inside. He was raped by another foster boy in the orphanage, right? That's why he and Kevin ran away?"

I gasped. There was a moment of silence and I thought the two males had heard me, but then the second male went on, "Yeah, that's how Kevin tells it. Guess it was going on for years and Dean toughened up, but this kid was tougher, and even some female worker knew what was going on and used Dean for their benefit a couple of times. I'm surprised anybody could get one up on ole' Dean-O."

The first male scoffed, saying, "I'm sure only _half_ of that story is true. Maybe the kid had a buddy or something. I can't see Dean losing a fight one-on-one, or fucking a couple of older ladies unless he wanted to."

"Every Carny story is half-true. Charlotte will tell anyone who'll listen that she was friends with the only girl Dean ever dated, and the girl told Char she broke up with Dean because he was too weird in bed."

I couldn't help eavesdropping still as the first male continued the conversation, "I don't get that. We all have our fetishes and weird habits in bed. In fact, a Carny that doesn't have some kind of a weird habit just isn't a true member."

The second male explained further, "Yeah, but I mean, Char will tell you some of the stuff Dean did with this girl. They did it hanging out of a windowsill, upside down, and Char won't tell me the details but she said he did a few choice things with a toothbrush."

"A _toothbrush_?" the first guy asked at the same time I whispered it to myself.

Second male laughed and answered, "I think most of it's made up. Char has a mouth on her, and she's just upset because Dean won't touch her. I met his ex-girlfriend, she was some trapeze artist from a rival Carnival. She probably liked the weird stuff."

"How come Dean won't tap that?" first male asked of Charlotte.

"She's a whore, man. Gets around the block more than once. I don't know any single guy in this house who hasn't done her. Even some in town know Char like they know their own dick," the second male explained.

They both laughed, then first male asked, "What about Trumbly's niece? Is she looking for someone?"

"I hear she's been hanging out with Sheamus lately," second male said.

"Sheamus is truly weird. His home country must have no boundaries or something, 'cause he'll swing both ways, male or female, just as long as it has something for him to put it in."

Both guys laughed again, and I was turning to leave when I heard the first male say about me, "We should set Lizzie up with Sami. He's all sweet and stumbles over himself just like she does."

I stopped and listened again. _The other Carnies thought I was a sweet stumbler?_

Second male laughed and added, "Yeah, and if Sami _does_ turn out to be gay, we'll just throw Sheamus into the mix and he'll satisfy them both."

That provoked more laughter, and I decided to get away before I heard more stupid things I didn't want to imagine.

I opened the door to our room and found Dean lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. He looked like he had been there for a while. I quietly put my bags down and pulled out the little fan first. Dean asked in a husky tone, "What did you get?"

He sounded withdrawn and tired, too exhausted to promote his usual sense of control. I figured he was tired from working outside like those guys had talked about. I sat down on my bed and opened the box with the fan in it. I took it out and said, "I bought a fan and some art supplies and a journal and a dress. It was a nice day."

Dean sat up and took the end of the cord from the fan, then he pushed the end table between our beds aside to find a place to plug it in. I put the fan on the table itself. Dean pushed the table back and turned the fan on. I let the cool air rush over me and sighed, saying, "That's nice."

"Need anything else?" Dean asked.

"Would it be awful if I asked you to rub my feet? They're so swollen right now and I can't reach them myself," I answered.

Dean got down on his knees and took my feet in his lap while I sat on my bedside. He rubbed them for a while in silence, then he asked, "Anything happen while you were shopping?"

It was like he knew that I was hiding something. I scoffed and replied as nonchalantly as I could, "Nothing amazing. I just saw AJ in the thrift store and he was kissing up on some other girl."

Dean tensed up while he was still rubbing my feet. I quickly added, "It doesn't bother me that he's looking elsewhere for romance because I didn't want to be with him anyway. It's just that he treated me like I was nobody in front of the girl. I left and he followed me. He said some stupid things. Let's just say I probably won't have any friends when school starts come September."

Dean was still intense but answered kindly, "Well, I guess you could always stay here over the winter and do home school with the Carnies that watch the house while the rest of us travel."

A sudden realization hit me like a bolt of lightning.

"You're not going to be here over the winter?!" I asked.

Dean looked up at me with slight confusion on his face, answering, "You know I travel with Trumbly and the other Carnies. I have a job and that's why I'm here, Liz."

 _I should have known that. How could I not know that?_ I felt so stupid.

I kicked Dean in the stomach to get out of his grasp. I yelled at him, "How could you make me think that you wanted me to stay here with you when you're just going to leave me alone while you travel?!"

Dean's tired demeanor was changing into something more furious again. He stared at me and replied with aggravation and some sarcasm, "I wasn't _making_ you think anything! I thought that you already knew that! What with my acrobatic skills and my training with your uncle! That's what Carnies do, Liz! We take summer months off and travel during the year!"

"I'm not stupid! I know that! I'm just so angry with you for making it seem like you'll always be here! I've been telling you how hard it has been for me to make friends in town and you told me they weren't to be trusted! You keep an eye on all the friends I make in the house like I should be careful with them too, and now you're telling me I'm going to be alone with strangers and no one to defend me in the house and no one to care about me at school and I'm going to be stuck raising a baby by myself for a whole year until you come back!"

Dean got up and reached out to me like he wanted to comfort me after hearing my words and realizing where I was coming from. I was too angry with him and I tried to kick him again. He overpowered me easily. I was not about to give up. I kept fighting with him even after he had climbed into my bed, sat on my hips and held my arms down by my wrists. At first, he was angry with me for trying to fight him. As I continued to struggle, he asked me with a little less anger in his tone, "Why are you still fighting me, Liz? I am obviously winning right now."

"So! I hate you and I will not let you push me around just because I'm Trumbly's poor little pregnant niece who doesn't know the hard life like a true Carny!"

He actually started to laugh at my remark. He eased up just enough so that I could pull my left arm out from under his grip. I intended to slap him in the face, but he realized I had gotten out and he was attempting to hold me down again. In the confusion, he had let up on my hips. I was moving to get out from under him when I kicked up my knees and knocked him right in the junk.

Dean let out a sound like I had just knocked the wind out of him. He rolled over to one side and let me go. I was surprised and frightened and glad to be free all at the same time, but I was also terrified that Dean was going to get me back for what I just did. I rushed to the bathroom, shouting over my shoulder, "Sorry!"

I slammed the bathroom door and locked it. There was no way I was going back out there, now.


	8. Chapter 8

8:

It was quiet after I accidentally kicked Dean. I heard him leave our room a few minutes later. I had no idea if he was mad at me or not, so I just stayed in the bathroom and didn't come out. I must've fallen asleep eventually, because I woke up on the floor using a towel as a pillow when I heard strange noises coming from the bedroom.

I listened more intently and I could hear Charlotte moaning. It wasn't loud and intense like it usually was. I was sore from lying on the floor, and it took me some time to get up. Once I was on my feet, I could hear the noise from a different angle. It was much clearer and I could hear the creaking sounds Dean's bed always made.

I carefully unlocked the bathroom door and turned the knob. I opened it just slightly enough to peek into the room. It was totally dark in the bathroom and the bedroom only had a bit of moonlight from the window. I could make out two outlines of bodies in Dean's bed. There was a bigger outline on top and the other outline underneath was moaning. I could tell from the sound that it was Charlotte.

My insides started to boil. I became more furious than I had ever felt in my life. I was too far from the bedroom switch, so I snapped the bathroom light on and threw the door open wide enough to see them. I shouted angrily, "Dean, what do you think you are doing?!"

The man on top of Charlotte got off of her and stood at the other side of the bed. He put his hand up to block the light from his eyes but made no move to shield his completely naked self. He wasn't covered in hair, so he couldn't be Dean. Charlotte was still in a dress and boots when she sat up in Dean's bed to look at me with a temporary sense of shock as well.

I got a better look at the man and I realized he was Kevin. With no clothes on, it was obvious that he had been beaten up. He sported bruises, welts and other marks over the top of older, weathered scars. I was reminded of the conversation I overheard from the two males last evening where they said Trumbly had punished Kevin with the beating of his life.

Charlotte immediately turned to Kevin and yelled, "You said nobody was up here!"

Putting his hand down now that his eyes were more adjusted to the light, Kevin continued to let himself remain free of concealment from me. His erection was large and purplish-red and glaring at me like I was less of an interruption and more of a secondary starting point. I knew what male anatomy was supposed to look like when engorged, but I hadn't yet gazed upon a real live one on display in the harsh light. I was still angry and I felt both like barfing and reaching for it with morbid curiosity.

Kevin caught me staring at him and he made a huge grin. I quickly looked away and clenched my fists. Kevin turned back to Charlotte and argued, "Dean went to go talk to Sheamus! I thought _she_ went with him!"

 _She_ obviously meant _me._ Judging from Kevin's tone, I had become a source of disdain for him. A burden of no name. A creature of which only a pronoun would suffice.

Charlotte started pushing herself out of bed and made heavy footfalls in my direction. I nearly fell backward stumbling back into the bathroom. I managed to shut the bathroom door again and I locked it quickly before I heard Charlotte collide with the other side. She screamed while she banged on the door, "You get out here! Get out here and take what's coming to you, little bitch!"

I wasn't going to open the door for any reason. Charlotte continued yelling anyway, "You've done nothing but ruin things for me and Kevin since you got here! Dean won't even talk to us! Trumbly is treating us like last week's trash! His own kind! Why can't you just let us have our fun and quit being such a tattling little baby!"

She started kicking the door. The lock was flimsy enough that it broke away easily. Charlotte pushed her way inside and I put up my arms to block her attack. I felt Charlotte grab me by my elbows. She shoved me just enough to make me fall backward. I was close enough to the tub that I was able to grab the edge and support my fall. I landed on my butt in the space between the tub and the vanity. I put my arms back up and I could see Charlotte bringing her right arm back like she was ready to throw punches. Her face was red with fury. I instinctively brought my arms down to cover my belly. I didn't dare let her take her anger out on my offspring.

Charlotte saw me efforts to protect my baby and she hesitated for a moment. She relaxed her fist but her anger hadn't fizzled out, yet. She decided to go for a few slaps upside my head before Kevin grabbed Charlotte around her middle and pulled her away from me. He hissed something into her ear like, "She isn't worth it," and Charlotte pulled away from him. She was heaving and I couldn't bring myself to look at her. A horrifying scream ripped through her lungs and tore at my eardrums. Charlotte turned on her heel and stormed out of the bathroom. I heard her leave the bedroom with a booming slam of the door.

I sat there startled and tense. I didn't want to move. I wondered what Kevin would do with me now that we were alone and he was still stark naked. I dared to look up at him. His face was devoid of emotion. His lip was split and the right side of his face was bruised and a little swollen from my uncle and Dean's fists when they pummeled him earlier that day. He came toward me until he was too close for comfort. His erection was gone but his manliness was right in my line of view. He made an extra point to lean down and in so I could see it even better. I was embarrassed to discover that I could even smell hints of Charlotte on his foreskin. He said to me in a flat tone, "Be a dear and tell Dean-O that Charlotte and I made dirty on his bed and I put my giant dick in your face so he can come after me for upsetting you, again. This time, I'll be ready for him."

He sat up straight and slowly turned to leave. I said defiantly, "I won't tell him _anything_."

Kevin stopped and turned at an odd angle to look back at me. His head moved to one side and he smiled wickedly, then he glanced down at my belly and told me in a mockingly concerned tone, "You know, people don't realize how easy it is for a pregnant woman to lose her baby."

I reflexively held fast to my stomach and gasped in shock. That only provoked Kevin further, and he added darkly, "She could take a minor slip and fall just right, or take a spill down the stairs, or even just a sharp punch to the belly..."

He trailed off and leaned forward to see my face. He wanted to know if he was really getting to me, but I told him angrily, "Get out!"

Putting up his hands in mock defeat, Kevin turned to leave again. He told me as he went, "Anything you say, little _Marlyn_."

I jumped. I couldn't tell if it was because I was startled or if it was the baby moving. Kevin turned back while he was still walking out. He put his hand over his mouth like he had made a mistake, then he made his correction loud enough that I could not misunderstand, "Oh! Sorry! I forgot you think your mother is _Abbey_."

He disappeared before I could ask him what he meant. I waited until I was sure that both Kevin and Charlotte were completely gone. I left the room and went outside to find Dean and Sheamus. By the time I reached the barn, I was almost sure that Kevin was just trying to put ideas in my head to upset me. I knocked quietly on the barn door. I heard Sheamus ask, "Whossit?!"

"It's me, Liz. I know it's late, I can go back..."

Dean opened the door before I finished my sentence. He didn't look very angry with me. He let the door open more fully and moved aside so I could pass. I came in and found Sheamus lying on his makeshift bed in the far corner wearing a pair of jeans and no shirt. He had his arm around Sami lying next to him. Sami was also shirtless but wearing some tattered coveralls with one strap unbuckled. Sami was holding up a few cards and examining them closely when I stepped in. He moved the cards aside and said happily, "Hiya, Liz!"

Merlin the zebra also nodded at me from the stable on the other side. I started to feel a little better. At least I was a source of happiness for some. Sheamus asked me when I sat down on a hay stack, "Wha' brings ya out here, lass?"

Dean took another seat closer to Sheamus' bed. He pulled a hand of cards out of his own jean pocket and looked them over. It seemed like I had interrupted the guys in the middle of a game. I started to feel left out again, but I ignored my feelings and responded to Sheamus, "I got lonely."

Sami pulled out one of his cards and showed it to Dean. With a shake of his head, Dean indicated that the card wasn't right, and Sami put it down and reached underneath Sheamus to pull out another one. All three of them acted like they were doing what everyone did when playing a game of cards, like it wasn't weird to hide most of the deck underneath a handsome Irishman with a great body.

"How did you know I was out here, Liz?" Dean asked thickly, and I knew that he had already sensed something was up.

Sami looked at me and then at Sheamus and back again. Sheamus kept his cool, asking me as well, "How didja know, Liz?"

To ease Sami's fears, I explained, "I heard Kevin mention that Dean went out to talk to you, Sheamus. That was all he said and I made sure no one saw me when I came out here."

Dean pulled a card out from under Sheamus. Sami tried to take on the calmness of the others, realizing he wasn't in danger of being caught for now. Sheamus huffed at my answer and replied, "Was he bein' sticky dicky with the _meirdreach_ by yawr room again?"

Sami laughed out loud. I was surprised Sheamus knew about that. I nodded and smiled at his word choice. I didn't speak his native tongue, but I could still understand what it meant. I replied softly, "They couldn't let me sleep peacefully _every_ night. Takes the fun out of it."

Sheamus snickered and answered, "Ya stay here with Dean for the nigh', then. Sami an' I'll make our sticky dicky quiet sos nawt to wake ya."

Sami blushed and hid behind his hand of cards. Sheamus leaned over, pushed the cards out of the way of Sami's face, and gave him a sensual kiss. While Sheamus was on one side, Dean pulled out two other cards from the bed and put them into his hand, not even remotely distracted by what was going on near him. I had no idea what game they were playing, or if anyone was even winning, but it looked like a lot of fun.

I was starting to get tired and I really wanted to sleep. I asked, "Is there somewhere I can lie down?"

Sheamus broke away from Sami and pointed past Merlin to an open stable where a series of thick blankets were stacked up on each other. He said quietly, "That'll be the bes' place for ya."

I went over to the stable and took the blankets one by one. I laid them out until they resembled a bed, then I lay down in the pile to sleep. I was still half-awake a few minutes later. I could hear Dean and Sheamus talking.

"If it wakes her, we won' do it," Sheamus said.

"It's fine. Besides, you weren't expecting us. You shouldn't have to take precious time away from each other because we came in," Dean replied.

"She doesn' knaw, Dean. Ya've seen it all, I have no prublem with tha', but the lass is still a daisy. She hasn' been tainted by rawses an' thawrns the way we have."

"It's okay, I don't want to with other people here anyway," Sami's hushed voice added.

"Oi! We can do other things with 'em here an' li'le noise, Sami," Sheamus argued.

"I'm going to bed. Whatever you decide is up to you, if it starts to upset Liz, I'll cover her ears," Dean replied.

He came over to my stable and I felt him lay down beside me. Still somewhat awake, I opened my eyes so I could see him better and I whispered, "I'm sorry I kicked you."

I could hear Sami started to moan softly. Dean leaned in and kissed me. It felt like he was trying to be tender, but his lips felt tense. Sami made another soft moan and Dean kissed me a little harder. He pulled away after a long while and he whispered back, "It's alright, I know you didn't mean it, now go back to sleep."

"Wash your blankets and sheets tomorrow," I said quietly, then I closed my eyes.

Dean put his arms around me and I ran my fingers through his soft body hair. I rubbed my cheeks against his chest. He smelled so good. I curled up so I could be as close to him as possible. He lifted his arms and froze for a moment. I realized my knees were once more near his groin. I started to slide my legs back down, but he put his arms back down and held me more tightly, so I stayed where I was and drifted off into a deep sleep.

:-:

I woke up to the sounds of voices very early the next morning. One of them was Dean, and the other was Sami. They were a distance away and speaking in hushed tones. I could still hear them enough as Dean argued under his breath, "...half of my salary to stay with her. You can take care of her while I'm gone and live off of whatever I send you."

Chuckling, Sami answered, "Dean, you know I can live on a fourth of your income. I can get a job in town. It'll make things more legitimate and I can take care of Liz just fine."

"She'll have the baby by then, Sami. You'll probably need an in-town job and my income to support all three mouths. You can tell everyone the money's coming from Trumbly. They won't ask questions," Dean said.

"What about going to school with her? I mean, I've been to public school before and it's fine with me, but if they tease her too much, I'm not much at keeping bullies away," Sami explained.

Dean sighed with frustration, then he replied, "I'll talk to Bo. He's the only other person who has been to public school and he might help if I give him a little incentive."

"You shouldn't have to pay him, Dean. What if he decides it's not worth the money to be haggled by locals and he ditches us?" Sami asked.

"I'll work something out with him. He's into more than just money, I can make a deal," Dean said.

"Don't do something Sheamus wouldn't do," Sami warned.

Dean chuckled under his breath. I heard an older male voice shout from outside, "Dean! Get yer ass out here an' get to work!"

I started to sit up just as Dean disappeared out the door. Sami came over to me and helped me to my feet. He asked kindly, "Would you like some breakfast, Liz?"

I nodded and followed him. We went outside and past a whole group of guys, including Dean and Bray. They were standing around a huge piece of machinery that looked like a massive engine. I kept my head down and sulked my way past everyone, hoping that I wouldn't retrieve a look from Bray for getting him into trouble. I also felt guilty for making Dean have to do the same work. Sami put his arm around me and hugged me close, saying, "Don't feel bad! Bray had it coming and Dean knew the consequences of his actions."

Glancing up, I locked eyes with Dean and he nodded at me once before turning back to get started. I was glad to see that I wasn't on his shit list.

We went inside the house, sat down and waited for our food at the kitchen table. Sami wisely seated us close to Miz so that the others wouldn't grab at our plates. Miz smiled kindly at me and asked, "How are you today, Liz?"

It was like he and Dean always knew when I wasn't doing well. I smiled awkwardly and answered, "I'm fine."

I was actually thinking about what Kevin had said the night before. Was he being serious with me about my mother being Marlyn, or was he just pulling my leg to upset me for defying him and getting him into trouble?

"Naomi would like to see you later, if you have time," Miz said to me.

The food started coming so I nodded that I would see her and Miz went back to preparing his meal. I had the feeling he knew Naomi would give me answers to my questions. Miz seemed to know all about what I was thinking. I started to prepare my own plate by grabbing things that were being placed on the table. I reached over and knocked arms with one of the servers. I looked up to apologize and saw that it was Charlotte.

She gave me a deep scowl and let the plate drop the rest of the way to the table. The plate split in two, but the other Carnies kept reaching for the food, undaunted by the noise or glass shards in their food. I decided against that portion of the meal, and Charlotte took it as a further sign of my many insults to her. She turned and stormed back into the kitchen. Miz leaned over to Sami and I and mentioned, "Don't eat the salad at dinner tonight."

"Why not?" Sami asked, and Miz added, "Charlotte is preparing it."

Sami swallowed hard and I went back to my food before it was taken by the Carny bystanders. Once we were finished eating, Sami took me out to the living room, where Kevin was sitting on the couch with Mable, Lydia and Dylan. Kevin looked up at us when we entered, then he quickly stood on his feet and came over like he had been waiting for us to come his way. Sami froze and clutched my hand in his own while I too stood and waited for what Kevin would do next, unable to anticipate him.

Kevin kept his eyes focused on me intently, but leaned into Sami and asked, "You watching the _girl_ today?"

"Yeah...for...for a little while," Sami stammered.

Kevin finally turned to face Sami and smiled kindly, saying, "That's real sweet of you."

It sounded like an empty compliment, but Sami did ease up his tension a little. I glanced over at Dylan and I noticed he was watching us closely, leaning on his cane like he would take off for my uncle if things got out of hand.

Giving Sami a rough pat on the back to add to his compliment, Kevin then asked, "So where's my brother?"

"Um...Dean's outside...working with Bray," Sami pointed out the living room window.

I turned to look out the window where Sami pointed, and I could very obviously see Dean and Bray outside. I knew that Kevin was just asking to throw us off. Again, I braced myself for something to go wrong, but Kevin just smiled deliberately at Sami, then at me, then he turned and walked out the front door like he was really going to see Dean. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be upset or move on. Sami looked at me and asked, "What was that about?"

I glanced at Dylan again. He had eased up and leaned back in his seat, but he was also looking at me for answers. I shrugged my shoulders and answered, "I don't know."

I really didn't know, but Dylan was looking at me like I did. It was hard, if not impossible, to fool a Carny.

Sami led me away from the living room and back up the stairs to my room, but I told him halfway up, "I really want to just clean up a little and relax by myself, if that's alright."

Sami nodded and started back down the stairs without argument, replying, "Sure. If you need anything, I'll be around the house."

All I needed was answers, and I knew Sami couldn't provide them.

I went back upstairs to my room first, to check on things and make sure that Kevin and Charlotte didn't steal or ruin anything after the night before. I immediately noticed that Dean's bed sheets and blanket were missing, so he had taken my advice to wash them. My sheets and blanket were also missing, so Dean must've been taking precautions.

Everything else was where it should've been, so I turned to leave and quietly went back down the hallway to find Naomi. I knocked on her door and she politely answered, "Come on inside!"

I walked in to find Naomi busily folding clothes. When she saw me, she breathed a sigh of relief, saying, "I'm so glad you come to see me, sugar!"

"Actually, I came to ask you something that you might not want to hear," I said.

Naomi put down the shirt she was folding and became serious, asking, "What have you heard?"

I came to stand beside her, then I stated, "Kevin told me that Marlyn is my real mother, and he didn't look like he was lying when he said it."

My stomach started to knot up when I spoke out loud what Kevin had said. It sounded ridiculous, and I half-expected Naomi to bust a gut from all the laughter she would have over such a wild accusation. She didn't laugh, but looked me squarely in the eyes and said, "It's not what you think, dear. Marlyn wanted to tell you on her own time. Kevin had no right to give that up to you."

Oh, my God. It was true.


	9. Chapter 9

9:

I rushed out of Naomi's room before she could finish telling me that I should wait to Marlyn. I was so angry and I felt so betrayed! I kept my fists clenched and made a path all the way down to the first floor and into the living room before I realized that I didn't know which room was Marlyn's.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Lydia asked from the couch.

"I'm looking for Marlyn's room. Where is it?" I asked as deliberately as I could without sounding like a raving lunatic.

Mable pointed behind her down one of the hallways, saying, "Room number 88."

I stormed off, repeating aloud to myself, "Room 88. Room 88. Room 88."

It wasn't hard to find. I ventured down the hallway and I noticed the difference in doors like there were in the other halls. Each of them were likely picked off from a junkyard because they were all completely mismatched. Some had peep holes, some had broken metal numbers in their centers, and still some were chipped and dented with beaten knobs and half-decent locks. About the middle of the hallway, I stopped when I saw a bright blue door with two metal numbers in its center: 88.

Without consideration, I turned the knob and pushed the door open, finding Marlyn seated in front of her vanity putting on makeup. She was wearing an open robe and she jumped up and covered herself when she turned to face me. I was so angry, I blurted before she could ask what was going on, "Why didn't you tell me that you are my mother?"

Her face fell so fast, I began to regret that I had ever thought to confront her. She motioned to the king sized bed in the room's center and said, "Come and sit. We'll talk."

I came over, but I waited for Marlyn to sit, first. I took my seat a distance away from her. She looked hurt by my actions, but I couldn't help being mad at her. She began the story like it was something out of a fantasy, "I met your father, Hefram, and his brother, Trumbly, when they were still in high school. Your father was beginning to question his own faith. Trumbly decided to take Hefram with him on a trip to Vegas to lighten both of their spirits. I was a showgirl working for money to pay off a debt I owed to some shady people. Hefram took a liking to me right away. Both brothers came backstage to meet me. They offered to pay off my debt and bring me back to their hometown."

It was hard to believe. My father was so adamantly against just about anything that didn't relate to religion or his beliefs. I couldn't see him in a city so well-known for its sin. I also couldn't see him falling for a showgirl.

Marlyn went on, explaining, "The debt was too much and I had to stay in Vegas. Hefram kept coming to visit me, and we fell in love. We were trying to be safe until he graduated and we could get married, but the condom broke during one of our times together and I got pregnant with you."

Marlyn strained a smile despite the pain of her memories and said, "I was so glad to have you, but Hefram saw it as a sign from God that he was making the wrong choices. He told me he never wanted to see me again, and that my lifestyle was too horrible to raise a child and he would fight for custody."

This part of the story sounded more like my father. Marlyn continued, "Trumbly always had a crush on me, and I knew that, and I have to admit that I may have taken advantage of him when I tried to get him to bargain with Hefram to let me keep you. Trumbly tried so hard, but by then Hefram had met Abbey and he was graduating soon. Hefram looked like he had a much better future that would stand up in court, while my future was going to be with a traveling carnival. It wasn't the carnival theme that worried me, but the thought of Hefram trying to drag Trumbly's life's work through the mud in an effort to discredit us so that he could keep you. Hefram would only agree to allow Trumbly to see you and give me information on how you were doing. Hefram was very strict on the fact that you could never know your real mother."

"I handed you over to Hefram, and Trumbly married me, which didn't sit right with Hefram, but at least he was letting his own brother see you and I could get word on your progress. When you turned fourteen, I thought that it was time for you to know the truth. Trumbly went to Hefram about it, but Trumbly told me that Abbey was too distraught. She was unable to have children herself and raising you as her own. She considered you like her own daughter and the very thought that you might think less of her made her suicidal. Hefram told Trumbly to leave and never come back to see you, anymore."

I didn't realize I had tears in my eyes until I saw Marlyn's streaking down her own cheeks. It was a devastating story that was almost too hard to believe. There was a long time of silence, then I finally asked, "If he didn't want me to ever know you, why did my father let me come and live with you?"

Marlyn answered in words that sounded just like she was loosely repeating what my father had told her, "He believed that you had sinned because you were influenced by Trumbly's lifestyle when he told you stories as a child. Hefram told us that he and Abbey couldn't handle you, anymore. He called Trumbly and I in the middle of the night and told us that you were pregnant out of wedlock and he was firmly against abortion, so he would be leaving you here until your baby was born, then he would decide what to do with the both of you."

I was feeling so many emotions at once, I couldn't tell which way was up. I asked, "Am I a _burden_ to you?"

Marlyn got up and took me into her arms in a giant hug, answering, "No, of course not! Trumbly and I were overjoyed when we heard the news. Trumbly set up the extra space so you could be Dean's roommate because his room has a ramp and an big bathroom. We also thought it best you were with Dean because he is very protective. We wanted you to be as comfortable here as possible. Trumbly made it a point to have a meeting with all of the carnies – even the ones who rarely leave their caravans during the off-season – so that he could tell everyone about you and how proud he was to include you with us."

"Why did he ignore me the first few days I was here?" I asked.

Marlyn pulled away from me to look me in the eyes and answered, "He wasn't ignoring you. He wanted you to meet and get to know the others without his influence making them behave abnormally. He knew Dean could provide you with the safety and knowledge you needed for everything else. Trumbly is their _boss_ , Liz. He knew they wouldn't be their true selves if he was around."

"Do you love Uncle Trumbly?" I asked, knowing it would be my final question before I had to leave and be alone to think it all through.

Marlyn smiled brightly, answering, "I do love Trumbly very much. I loved Hefram once, in a previous life, but he wanted me to be totally obedient. I'm not that kind of a woman. I need my freedom. Trumbly is a good man...he lets me be myself; lets me go free to explore."

I knew exactly what she meant.

:-:

As I always did when I was given something lengthy to process, I ventured out alone and wandered in the yard far from the noise of the other Carnies. I was hoping to run into Sheamus by his favorite tree, but when I got there, he wasn't around. I kept walking, suddenly curious as to what was past the barn where Sheamus stayed, in the part of the yard where I hadn't been, before.

I realized that there was land for miles around me on every side. I didn't know what belonged to Uncle Trumbly and I hoped that there were no trespassing signs to tell me where I shouldn't be. I walked a short way past some other barns behind the one where Sheamus lived. I passed a series of trees and heard rustling in its branches. I turned back and looked up. Way, way up. I caught sight of something watching me.

It was mostly behind the giant tree, so I couldn't tell what it was until it walked out in front of me. I recognized immediately that it was a baby giraffe. He was young, but still towered over me like most everyone else did. I waved at him when he came near, curiously observing my flowing yellow sun dress that was blowing in the light breeze.

"Hi," I waved at him, not knowing what else to do.

He turned his head to one side. I looked down at the ground and spotted a fallen branch with still fresh leaves nearby. I picked it up and held it out to him. The giraffe skipped his way up to me, craning his neck forward so he could have a taste of the branch.

It was entertaining to feed him, and I couldn't help laughing as I watched him grab huge chunks of leaves and branches with his purple tongue, munching and swallowing it while still watching me like I was the odd looking one. He was strong but not too strong, and I was able to tug the branch so that he could get all the good leaves. When he had eaten all there was left on the branch, I turned and began walking away. He followed me for a short distance before turning off and disappearing somewhere else in the yard.

Alone again, I passed some of the other barns where I heard the grunting and shifting of heavier and much more wild beasts. I didn't dare go in there without someone to escort me, unsure if the animals were caged or not. It smelled like wood shavings and bird seed. I thought I saw a horn poking out of one of the holes of the barn. I ventured past some enormous empty and antique looking cages like the ones I had seen in old carnival movies. I rounded the corner and stopped for a moment to catch my breath.

I felt someone tap my shoulder and I whirled around. I saw a big, wrinkly elephant. The elephant was in a cage, but had used its trunk to tap my shoulder, and it drifted his trunk up and down happily when I noticed it, like the elephant was playing a child's game with me. I looked up higher and caught sight of a man on top of the elephant's cage. His skin was deeply tanned and he was working hard under the hot sun to drive in some extra bolts that had come loose around the elephant's cage. The man was squatted and I could tell he was not very tall but very muscular. He was shirtless but wearing a pair of coveralls, and from the exposed parts of his chest, back and arms, I could see that he was heavily tattooed with a tribal design that probably covered most of his upper body. He also had long dark hair that was tied back in a pony tail. His eyes were somber and thoughtful like a movie actor. When he glanced down at me, I could tell that he was younger than some of the others I'd met so far.

His gaze soon left me and he brought his eyes back to his work. At first, I thought he was ignoring me. Then he asked in a husky voice, "You Liz?"

"Yes," I answered.

He didn't reply to introduce himself. I was remembering the name Dean said when speaking to Sami earlier about someone going to school with me. It was the name of a person I hadn't met, yet. I didn't want to seem like I was wandering around, so I asked deliberately, "I'm looking for Bo. Do you know where he is?"

"He's speaking," the man answered.

Wow. If he came to school as my well muscled backup, the locals wouldn't dare to bother me.

"Dean said you went to public school," I started, trying to initiate a conversation.

Bo was still working. The elephant tried to interfere with its trunk, but Bo brushed the elephant's trunk away with his wide palm. Bo said to me simply, "Yeah, I did for a year once."

I was beginning to realize that Bo was honest but his answers left much to be desired.

"Well, Dean was saying that he might want you to go to public school with me here in town in September, so that I have some muscle to keep the locals from bothering me and Sami."

This time, Bo stopped what he was doing and looked down at me. He seemed legitimately concerned when he asked, "Are the locals botherin' you?"

I had forgotten how quick Carnies were to defend their own. I quickly explained, "Let's just say they know who I hang out with and they don't like it. Dean doesn't want them teasing me or making civil life hard for me during my senior year."

Bo's defensiveness subsided only slightly, then he went back to his work. He said quietly, "I s'ppose I could enroll for my senior year on behalf of a lady."

I blushed at being called a lady. The elephant in the cage tried to touch my face with its trunk, intrigued by the color change. I stepped away from it and just touched my hand to its trunk. Bo added without acknowledging the change himself, "I'm no good with schoolwork, though."

"I could tutor you," I offered.

A big smile spread across Bo's face. Regardless of the sweat, dirt, and oil that drizzled most of his skin, he actually looked very handsome when he lightened up. He answered, "Ain't you a sweet little thing."

I smiled too, looking away as I started to feel hot in the face again. When I looked back up seconds later, Bo was gone. I searched around for him, and he reappeared on the ground near the end of the cage. He was rubbing his hands clean with an already dirty cloth. He told me when I caught sight of him, "I'll talk to Dean. No guarantees, but you're quite the negotiator."

"Thank you," I smiled once more, then Bo walked off past another cage and disappeared out of sight.

I was turning to head back the way I came when I heard the hooting and hollering of a disorganized group of men and I stopped to gaze in their direction. I saw at least four of them, all in the same age and muscular range as Bo. They were all wearing coveralls with no shirts. Two of them were bald and similar in features to indicate they were brothers. All four were smeared with grease and dirt like they had also been working hard.

The two bald brothers saw me and started jogging toward me, looking me up and down like I was a fine piece of tail wandering into their forbidden woods. Knowing that this situation may get out of hand I didn't tell them who I was, I waved kindly and shouted so all of them could hear, "Hi! I'm Liz!"

The brothers stopped a few feet from me and they shoved each other like they were fighting over who got to talk to me, first. The two other guys from the group were also distraught and confused. One of the bald brothers turned and shouted back to them, "It's Trumbly's niece!"

All of them seemed so disappointed. I asked sadly, "Did I upset you?"

The bald guy that had yelled jogged over and reached out to shake my hand. He explained, "I'm Primo, and this is my brother, Epico," he nodded to the guy that looked similar to him before going on, "You don't upset us, sweetness, we just know that you're off limits so we can't have fun with you is all."

"Oh," was all I could say in response.

Primo looked back at Epico. Then, Epico came up and shook my hand as well before he asked, "Hey, how much do you weigh?"

:-:

Apparently, Epico's question was not one of insult, but one of general inquiry for the ride they were working on. Within minutes of answering with the range of my possible weight (to be truthful, I was terrified of checking a scale to determine how much I had gained from the pregnancy), Epico, Primo and the other two guys, who introduced themselves simply as The Vaudevillains, brought me over to a ride with a metal two-seater and a hot air balloon top to it. Primo got into the seat with me and Epico handed me a helmet and a walkie-talkie. Epico explained, "We just want you to tell us if the seat has any problems."

I strapped on the helmet and clutched the two way, staying close to Primo in case I had to grab onto him for life support.

Epico and the other two guys started shouting instructions at each other. Soon, Primo and I were at least thirty feet up in the air. We were being lifted by two cables that were strapped to a line being worked from the ground. I looked over at Primo when we were high enough to see everything around us and I asked, "Is this safe?"

Primo nodded and replied, "Sure, it's no big. We're just measuring the weight of a standard to non-standard couple against the wind speed and velocity of this particular ride to determine if there should be a weight limit. Trumbly's big on the safety measures."

"Wow, you're really smart," I said honestly.

Primo smirked and replied, "I enrolled in med school once. I have the brains but I don't have the attention span or the motivation it takes to get through college. Thankfully, guys like Trumbly will take a chance on lazy genius like me."

Epico's voice came through the walkie-talkie, asking, "Ready?"

Primo nodded at me, so I relayed back, "Ready!"

"Pull!" Epico shouted from the ground and into the walkie-talkie.

The seat lurched forward for only a second, then it was like we were gliding on air slowly toward the ground. I twined my arm with Primo's anyway, just in case my seat did happen to be faulty. He smiled broadly and said, "I'm glad I volunteered."

It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. I could see everything from Trumbly's house and beyond. I didn't realize that the yard was so busy. There were various animals and trainers and workers and other Carnies all spread out in different places. There was even a river half a mile to the East of the house that connected to a separate dirt road I had never been on, before. As we drifted closer to the ground, I could see Dean and Bray and Sheamus with the other workers eating some lunch on the grass near the house. I waved at them all, not knowing if they could see me. The balloon cables reached their end and it drifted quietly to the ground about three hundred yards from the house.

Primo helped me out of my seat and I jumped up in triumph, shouting, "That was awesome!"

"ELIZABETH!" I heard Trumbly shout from behind me at the top of his lungs.

He sounded really mad. Primo's face fell and I turned to look at my uncle as he stormed his way up to me. I couldn't understand why he would be upset until he shouted, "Do you know how dangerous it is to be on these rides when they haven't been tested, yet?"

"I'm sorry," I started at the same time Primo said, "It was my fault, sir."

Trumbly didn't even look at Primo. He kept his focus only on me as he argued, "Why do you insist on meddling with the workers when they are trying to do their job?!"

I felt as small as a schoolgirl being lectured by her teacher. It was the same feeling I used to get when my father yelled at me.

"Give me your things, I am taking you back to the house!" Trumbly held out his hands.

I took off the helmet and handed it to him, then handed him the walkie-talkie. He shoved both items at Primo, then Trumbly took me by the arm and began forcing me to follow him back to the house. I glanced back at Primo and waved good-bye. He waved lamely back and I mouthed the word, "Sorry," to him because I knew he was going to get into trouble for this.

I didn't dare look at the workers who had seen the whole thing, including Dean, Sheamus and Bray. I felt completely humiliated by my uncle's sudden blow up, and it was even further set off when Trumbly motioned to one of the guys nearest us and said, "Roman, I want you to watch my niece for the rest of the day and make sure that she doesn't come out of the house, again!"

Roman came up beside me and walked with us. I could tell from my sideways glance that he was a Titan of a guy with long thick black hair tied back and a Samoan jaw. It was almost more damaging to see my uncle choose such a hulk to be my bodyguard, like having a guy that could easily hold me down in my room would be much more appropriate than any regular person keeping watch.

Trumbly rushed me into the house and upstairs to my room. I was grateful when we were finally away from the many onlookers that were witnessing my public scolding. Trumbly finally let me go by my bed, and my arm actually hurt a little. I rubbed it as he turned and stormed away, not looking at the poster AJ had given me on the wall that I was sure he hadn't seen, yet. Trumbly didn't even stop to instruct Roman. He just left the room and slammed the door.

:-:

I learned almost immediately that Roman was not the talkative type. In fact, he took Dean's vanity chair and positioned himself by the far window facing me, just watching me like a hawk for the rest of the day and into the evening. I lay down in my bed and stared at the ceiling for hours, not wanting to move except when I had to for fear Roman would yell at me or something. I made sure to tell him whenever I was going to the bathroom, damning the fact that I had to make such frequent trips and it probably seemed suspicious to him. Roman never came in to check on me or tried to do anything fishy.

I must've fallen asleep at some point, because I heard the sound of the door opening and I opened my eyes to see Dean coming in. I could see from the window that it was dark outside and Roman had turned on a small lamp by the far wall. I didn't even remember the sun going down. I also saw a pile of clean sheets and blankets on Dean's bed. I hadn't heard anyone bring them in. Dean had a plate of food in his hand for me, as well as a glass of water. He looked deliberately at Roman and said, "You can go, now."

Roman sniffed like he was displeased with Dean's attitude and I wondered if he would argue, but he finally did stand up and walk out of the room. Dean walked over to my bed and handed me the food and drink. He said quietly, "Miz warned me about the salad, so I just got you what was left."

I thanked him and he went over to his own bed, collapsing on it without bothering to properly put on his sheets and blanket, first. I ate in silence for a few minutes, then I asked, "Does my uncle usually blow up like that?"

"No, he only does that when he's really concerned about something. Most of the time it has nothing to do with the person he's yelling at. We all know to stay away when he gets like that, or just let him yell and he'll be over it by the next day," Dean answered.

I felt a little better when he said that, like maybe the other Carnies were looking at me with empathy earlier instead of thinking I was causing a scandal. I confessed to Dean, "I think I know why he was mad, and I think it was because of me. I found out Marlyn is my real mother."

Dean sat up to face me, his body of hair drenched in sweat and his look exhausted from the work he had done all day. I could tell from his expression he wasn't necessarily surprised by my revelation. I asked him, "You knew?"

"Not really. I mean, I had a hunch. Kevin said he knew, but I didn't know for sure. I'm actually kind of glad," Dean said.

"Glad?" I asked.

"Yeah! I mean, Marlyn's smart, funny, and she's a total babe," Dean answered.

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked, confused.

"Like mother, like daughter," Dean answered, making me blush.

To hide my crimson cheeks, I changed the subject, saying, "I'm sorry I got you into trouble for punching out Bray and Kevin."

"No matter, I'll be done in two days," Dean fell back against his mattress, again.

He was silent until I finished my meal and put my empty plate and water aside, then he asked while observing the ceiling, "Why did you ask me to clean my sheets?"

I wasn't about to tell him about the whole situation with Kevin, so I lied, saying, "My dad always made me wash my sheets every week. I guess it's just a ritual."

Dean sighed like he didn't believe me, then he said, "I won't make you tell me, but I'm betting it has something to do with my brother."

I quickly turned the light out before Dean could look at me for confirmation, but he turned the light back on, taking the sheets from his bed to put on my bed. He didn't hand me my own sheets. Instead, he started putting them onto my bed himself. I thanked him again when he finished, and when he was working on his own bed with his back to me, Dean asked, "Could I ask you a personal question?"

"What?" I countered.

"How many times did you do it with Seth?" Dean asked.

My cheeks were hot again. I had never really told anyone the details of that situation before, because all they seemed to care about was the fact that I was pregnant. Sheepishly, I answered, "Once."

Dean turned back to face me with a look of disbelief. He repeated back to me, " _Once_?"

"Yeah, I didn't even get a happy ending like all the girls in school talked about," I said almost to myself.

"No way!" Dean's eyes widened like I had transformed in front of him.

I grew aggravated by his reaction and stated, "I know what it is and I've heard what it feels like, but it just didn't happen to me! And yes, I know I can do it to myself but I would rather not, thank you very much!"

Dean put up his hands in mock defeat and dropped back into his bed, still awestruck. I lay back, feeling embarrassed that I had even told him. Dean said softly, "You know, there are other ways to make that feeling, besides just the act of sex itself."

"Really?" I asked, interested.

"Yeah, I mean, it's still sexual type stuff, but just not hard to do," Dean answered.

He turned out the light and lay back in his own bed, and in the silence of the night, I asked, "Does that make you think less of me? That I've never had one before?"

Dean answered thickly, "No. In fact, I'm kind of glad. Gives me more things to surprise you with."

He didn't elaborate, and thankfully it was too dark for him to see the smile that came across my face when he said that. I asked in the dark, "Dean?"

"Yeah?" he countered.

"Your brother wouldn't hurt me, would he?" I asked, changing the subject once more.

There was a moment of silence, then Dean answered, "He'll never touch you while I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you."

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, knowing with the utmost assurance that Dean meant it when he said he wouldn't let anything happen to me.


	10. Chapter 10

10:

I began to dream about Dean. I was running my hands through his full body hair. He was so warm and he felt so good. I could sense his muscle definition underneath my fingertips. He was strong and resilient and beautiful. I was saying to him, "You're so soft, so soft..."

He felt so real to me. He hugged me close and I could feel his warmth against mine. We danced under the moonlight. I leaned into his ear and whispered, "I know you told me what the other guys want from me, but I want _you_ to have it. I want you to want _me._ All of me. Want _me_ , super-soft-Dogboy-werewolf-Deany-Beast."

He chuckled under his breath and continued to dance with me. I kept dreaming of him until I opened my eyes to the early morning hours, just before the sun was rising. I could feel something warm next to me, and it started to move. I looked over and saw that I was in fact in Dean's arms, lying next to him in his bed. He was already getting up even though it was early. I breathed through my sleepiness, "Where are you going?"

Leaning into me, he whispered, "I have to work, but it's too early for you. Go back to sleep."

Dean started to get up again. I grabbed onto his shoulders and tried to pull him back to me again, saying, "Don't leave."

Surprisingly, he let me pull him back to me. He brought his lips to mine. I didn't know how bad my morning breath was, but he didn't seem to mind. We kept kissing, more deeply and more passionately each time until Dean started to move down my jawline and then along my throat. He moved around my body, lifting my dress to leave kisses on my bare skin before he would let my clothes tumble back down into place again. He took extra special care around my belly, kissing the skin there and gently running his fingertips along the line where my growing child was.

I felt some slight movement inside, like my baby was responding to Dean's touch. He came back up to look me in the eyes with an astonished expression asking, "Did he just move for me?"

"He likes you," I said truthfully.

Dean kissed me several more times, then he broke away and asked, "Do you really want a _Dogboy_ like me to want _you_ , Liz?"

I must've been talking in my sleep, again. I smiled and answered, "Of course I do."

Dean didn't seem convinced. He shook his head and looked away from me, saying almost to himself, "You don't want a _beast_ to fuck you."

I didn't like his attitude and I didn't like the language. I was also confused as to why Dean seemed to change his mind about me so much. Last night, he sounded eager to be with me. Now, he was slipping away. I argued with him the best I could while still feeling tired, "Don't say that. Don't say it like that, you make me sound like what I feel is _wrong_."

"We'll talk about this later. Sleep, Liz. Go back to sleep."

Dean ran his fingers through my hair and continued to kiss me lightly around my neck and chest until I started to feel dreamy again. He slipped out from beside me at some point before I fell asleep, and the rest of my morning was spent in vivid dreams, where I would find Dean after a series of trials, only to have him tell me, "We'll talk about this later," then he would disappear out of sight again.

I would reach out to him, calling, "Wait, wait," but he would never come back, and again I would search for him, only to have the same outcome happen.

When I finally woke up, it was late in the morning. I half-expected Roman to be in my room again, tending to me for another day, but he wasn't. I showered, got dressed, and completely skipped breakfast. I doubted there was any left for me. I wanted to get away from everyone today. I was going to venture out on my own and take a long walk and just be alone. If my uncle didn't like that, well, too bad!

I took the back door outside. A few Carnies spotted me but didn't say anything, and it was almost too easy to disappear. I walked in the direction of the river that I saw the day before with Epico. I was hoping to travel all the way to the dirt road where the river crossed paths. I had no real plan for the day, but I expected it to be a calm and quiet one.

There were fish in the river. Most of them sped off when they saw me coming. I saw a duck at one point, but he glanced at me and also moved on once he noticed I did not have food with me. I was beginning to feel like I should have brought something to eat. I was getting hungry and the sun was bearing down on me.

I saw an ant hill and squatted down to observe the workers. They looked hungry, too. _I really should have brought something._

I thought about turning back, until I saw the dirt road ahead and I realized I had made it to my destination. It wasn't as far as I had anticipated, and I was glad to see it. I walked into the brush and stopped for a minute, closing my eyes to listen to the silence. I could feel the warm breeze against my cheeks. I breathed in to enjoy the scent of nature.

The smell. It wasn't right.

Opening my eyes, I glanced around. I knew this smell because I had breathed it in, before. It was the smell of blood simmering under a hot sun.

When I was in elementary school, a boy on the merry-go-round got a nosebleed. Since I was not afraid of blood, my teacher and I had to sit with him and I had to hold a cloth napkin under the boy's nose while she kept him from passing out until the ambulance came. It was a record hot day, and I remembered the smell on the napkin. It was a horrible rustic scent mixed with cloth and sweat. It was a smell I would never forget, and that memory came flooding back even as I breathed it in, now.

I searched with my eyes, wondering if maybe I was picking up the scent of a wounded or dead animal nearby. My uncle had his share of beasts in the barns that could have gotten out. There were certainly other wild animals around as well. I didn't see anything, so I looked down and checked myself just in case. The weeds brushed around my legs. They were as high as my waist, and I had been walking through it for over an hour, but my legs were only a little reddened from the dry brush. I hadn't been scratched, nor was I bleeding.

Then I saw something ahead of me, almost right where the river and the dirt road met. It was blue...no...denim...coveralls...

Spotting short red hair, I knew immediately that it was _Sami_.

I ran back as fast as I could. I knew that I shouldn't run. During my first trimester, when I had to visit the doctor, he would lecture me over and over about excessive activities. Maybe I was being selfish not to care about my child's safety or my own, but I wanted to save Sami. _I had to save Sami._

It seemed to take forever to get back through the brush and the trees. I ran and I ran and I didn't see anyone along my path. Not even the duck or the fish were around. Not a soul left _alive_. I was starting to lose energy. I was feeling utterly hopeless. Suddenly, I came around a tree and ran right into the back of someone.

He turned around, and his eyes widened when he saw me. I recognized him when I looked into his eyes. It was Kevin. I grabbed onto his coveralls and pulled his still bruised face near me, shouting at him, "Please help me! Please!"

I was crying, and I could feel my hands shaking violently. I didn't know if Kevin would help me. He was the last person I thought would give a crap, but he said seriously, "Stay here, I'll go get help," then he left me alone.

 _Alone_. _Lost_. The silence around me was threatening to shatter me into a million pieces. It was _deafening_.

Little more than a minute had passed. It felt like an eternity before I saw Kevin reappear, this time with Sheamus, Dean, Uncle Trumbly, Miz and Bray following along. Dean's eyes were just as wide as Kevin's when he saw me. I must've looked frantic.

Trumbly got to me, first. I thought he would be mad at me for being outside again, but his face showed only concern. He put his hands on my arms and asked me in as calm a voice as he could, "What happened, Liz? What's wrong?"

 _Oh God._ I glanced at Sheamus. I was going to have to say it out loud. What if Sheamus freaked out and Bray and Kevin saw his reaction and knew about his relationship with Sami? I didn't want to give away their secret. I didn't want him to be upset. I should have checked Sami to make sure he was still breathing. What if he was _dead_? What if I could have saved him if I had checked him, first? Would Sheamus hate me forever because I didn't save Sami?

"Elizabeth?!" Trumbly urged me to speak up.

I had to say it. I had to tell the _truth_. It was so hard to make out the words, like I could barely speak anymore, but I did it. I said, "Sami, it's Sami, I found him by the river! He's hurt and he needs help!"

Sheamus didn't freak out, but he was completely alert. Everyone remained much calmer than I was as Trumbly turned me around and asked kindly, "Would you show us where he is?"

I took my uncle's hand and started walking, leading him along. Dean took my other hand at some point, helping me through the thick brush. His silence was a symbol of the seriousness of the situation. Trumbly pulled out a walkie-talkie during the walk and spoke into it, saying, "She found Sami by the river and she says he's hurt. Bring the car around to the inter-cross."

It felt like a long time going back the second time. I was trying to direct everyone through my pathway and I took careful steps while I tried to imagine in my mind exactly where Sami was. I pointed him out when we were close. Trumbly let go of my hand and stated, "Bray, Sheamus, Dean, you come with me."

Bray and Sheamus started after him. Dean stayed behind. Miz came around to look me in the eyes. He was very deliberate and very calm. He told me in a clear, concise manner, "Liz, I need you to count to five. When you get to five, start over at one and count again. If you can't count in your head, use your fingers. Keep counting, don't stop, and always get to five before starting again."

"I want to stay with her," Dean said next to me.

Miz refocused on Dean and replied, "No, I need you to come with me and help Sami. Kevin will stay with Liz."

Dean let go of my hand, clenching both his jaw and fists. Miz turned me to one side to face Kevin, then he said deliberately to Kevin, "Make sure that she gets to five. If she loses count, you start counting and make sure she repeats you. Don't let her stop counting."

Kevin nodded. Miz motioned for Dean to go with him. I started counting, "One...two...three...four...five...one...two...three..."

I could hear them talking. It was like the sound was drifting into my head from some faraway place. I kept counting while I listened, "...four...five...one...two...three...four..."

"What happened to him, Miz?" Trumbly asked.

"He was assaulted and badly beaten. We need to get him to a hospital, I can't tend to his wounds on my own. Liz should go with us, she is showing signs of shock. Her pregnancy could be jeopardized."

Normally, I would've started panicking, but I felt detached, like I was somewhere faraway watching the scene play out. I stopped counting, forgetting where I was. I looked up at Kevin. He told me, "Four."

"Four?" I repeated, unsure.

"Five," he said.

"Five," I repeated.

He took my hand and held it up for me. He brushed my palm with his own fingers to stretch out my hand so I could see every finger. _Why was he being so nice to me?_

"...nice to me?" I think I said what I was thinking out loud, but I only heard myself say the last three words.

Kevin's brow furrowed, but he didn't answer me. He just touched each of my fingertips so I would look at them and counted, "One...two...three..."

I repeated him, "One...two...three..."

It had never felt so hard to count to five in all my life.

"...did this to him?" Trumbly asked Miz.

"I'm not certain, Sami's mind is not completely coherent. His memories are fragmented but he has green fibers under his fingernails similar to the clothing worn by some of the drifting Carnies we picked up a few weeks ago. His injuries show he was outnumbered. If it weren't for Liz, he probably wouldn't have been found. This looks like a targeted attack with full intent to leave him for dead."

"Two...three...four," Kevin counted with me.

He was trying to keep me focused when all I wanted to do was wake up from this nightmare. Maybe I was sleepwalking again; having a vivid dream. I would wake up in Naomi's room and she would laugh and say, "Everything's alright, sugar. You were just dreaming of silly things."

Miz's voice continued to flutter into my head while I counted, "...hate crime. I can see through Sami's eyes. The culprits were saying they heard he was a, "fag," their words. There are some signs of forced fellatio around his mouth. All other injuries were sustained from the beating he took afterward. No signs of rape..."

I was feeling dizzy. I looked over at everyone. I could see Sheamus squatted down, stepping on the back of his own hand with his boot. The pain he was inflicting on himself was probably the only thing keeping him from exploding.

"Liz...Liz..." Kevin was trying to get my attention again.

"Bray, take off your shirt and put it in the river. I need a wet cloth," Miz directed.

"Liz..." Kevin carefully took the bottom of my jaw and redirected my eyes back to his.

My vision was blurring. I was beginning to think that Kevin was Dean. He was being so nice to me. Kevin wouldn't be this nice to me. Only Dean was nice to me. I started saying it out loud, "Nice. You're nice to me. Nice."

"Two..." Kevin waited for me to start counting again, ignoring my fractured and random statements.

"Three?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Four," he said when I didn't respond.

Bray moved out of the corner of my eye and I looked again. He handed Miz his wet shirt. Miz draped it over Sami's head. Miz leaned in very closely and began speaking to Sami in a series of chanting, soft words. It was like he was reciting a mantra in another language. Miz splayed his right hand above Sami's head and drifted his palm downward just inches above Sami, still reciting. I had stopped counting, but Kevin had, too. Everyone was _silent_. _Watching_.

Miz stopped just below Sami's abdomen. Miz closed his hand into a fist and glided his fist back up the way he came. Sami started to move, but it was like an electrical current was running through him. I could hear Sami struggling to breathe. When Miz came back up to his head, he opened his fist and pushed the wet shirt away from Sami's eyes. Miz said, "Sami, open your eyes and look at me."

Sami's head moved. He did open his eyes and he stared. I heard Miz say to him, "You were lost, but Liz found you. You are _safe_ now."

"Safe?" I asked.

Miz looked up at me, and everyone turned in my direction. I didn't realize I had come up to stand behind them. Miz stared into my eyes and repeated, "Yes, you are _safe_ now."

:-:

I stopped remembering so well after that. Everything else came in fragments. Trumbly's classic car showed up. Marlyn was driving. Miz picked up Sami in his arms and got into the backseat. I got in next to Miz. Dean sat next to me. Trumbly was going to take the passenger seat, but Sheamus said, "Le' me go, sir."

His eyes were pleading. Trumbly looked at Marlyn and said something like, "I'll drive. You take a second car and come later."

Marlyn nodded and got out, then we were driving and Trumbly had taken the wheel. Sheamus was in the passenger seat. He would look back from time to time and both Sami and I. He didn't say a word until Trumbly asked, "How long have you and Sami been together?"

"A year...or mawr," Sheamus admitted.

"Who knows about it?" Trumbly asked.

"Liz an' Dean, but uthers suspected," Sheamus answered.

My stomach was starting to hurt. My legs felt wet but I assumed it was sweat. Dean was holding my hand. I was holding Sami's wilted hand with my other.

"I've heard the rumors, but would anyone know about you two incidentally and take it seriously enough to hurt Sami?" Trumbly asked.

"Sami's had threats, sir, bu' nuthin' serious. I made shaur he tol' me if he 'ad real trouble," Sheamus answered morosely.

Sheamus looked back at Sami again. His face was guilt ridden, like he was thinking he had not tried hard enough to keep Sami safe. My uncle opened his mouth to ask another question, but I interrupted him when I said aloud, "Will Sami be okay?"

Trumbly looked back at me in his rear view mirror. Dean squeezed my hand, and Sheamus turned his gaze on me. His guilt turning into sympathy. I heard Miz say something like, "Trumbly, drive faster," then I felt sleepy again.

"Liz? Liz?" Dean was trying to get me to look at him.

"Fuck!" Trumbly shouted, swerving sharply to the right.

I heard tires screech. Later I think I heard someone honking a horn. I saw a stoplight change from red to green. Trumbly cursed again and then Dean was helping me out of the car and picking me up into his arms again.

He was carrying me into the hospital. I knew because I saw a big blue **H** on our way through some sliding doors. A bunch of people in scrubs. Some male, some female. They started talking quickly and gathering information. They brought out a gurney for Sami, and he disappeared down a hallway.

Dean put me down in a wheelchair. The doctors seemed unconcerned by him. I wondered if they had seen others with his same condition.

"Is she married?" a middle aged man in blue scrubs asked.

"Yes. This is her husband, Sheamus," Trumbly lied so someone could stay with me.

I wanted Dean to be my husband. I guess the doctors would believe a distraught bisexual Irishman was better husband material than an orphaned and moderately controlling young man with gorgeous eyes and complete body hair.

Another younger doctor, probably freshly graduated because of the conceited slight smirk on his face, was trying to get me to follow his finger. I didn't want to look at anything.

"...eaten anything?" the boy doctor asked me.

I shook my head.

"Did you...anything? Water?" he asked something I didn't catch.

I shook my head again anyway.

"How far along...weeks? What Trimester?" he was asking me about my baby.

"I...twenty-one weeks...second trim...I think..." I tried to remember how far along I was and how to form sentences at the same time.

"She's a little over six months along," Trumbly said to someone.

Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I clutched it and started breathing quickly with panic. Boy Doctor got out of my way and older doctor leaned down to look at me. His face was strained, he didn't seem to know what was going on, either. I felt Dean touch my arm. I heard Trumbly start to yell something at another doctor.

"HELP! WE NEED HELP!" someone was screaming.

"She might be going into false labor. We need to get her to a room right now," the older doctor stated, then he started to wheel me away.

"Dean! Dean!" I cried.

"Dean's her brother," Trumbly lied again.

The doctor nodded, then said, "Follow me."

I turned back to look at my uncle Trumbly and said desperately, "Somebody call Daddy and tell him I'm sorry!"

I don't know why I said that.

:-:

I was put into a smaller room. A nurse was trying to take off my underwear and put my feet up on those elbow shaped metal things that I always thought looked like a pair of tongue devices ready to put my vagina on embarrassing display for all to see while I gave birth. I imagined they would come up and grab me and push me down into the doctor's table and I would disappear forever.

Dean and Sheamus were off to one corner of the room, putting scrubs and masks on. They looked more like aliens instead of themselves.

The nurse called to the doctor when she got my underwear off. I looked down and saw that she had placed my panties next to me on the hospital bed.

There was blood on them.

My pain was getting worse. A blond guy in pink scrubs came to my left and put a needle in me. He wiped my forehead with a wet washcloth and strained a peaceful smile to make me feel better. My eyes were swimming. Pink Scrubs tried to give me some water. I think I may have spit it back at him because I thought I couldn't swallow. The other nurse was trying to get my legs up on the elbow things but I was moving a lot and I could feel my legs kicking away from her.

"Hold her feet!" the doctor yelled from somewhere in the room.

Then Dean was by my right side, and Sheamus was holding my hand on the other side.

I felt the urge to do something. Kick or push or yell or something. My feet felt like bricks and I couldn't move them. I started to push out of agony and the doctor told me, "Don't push, Liz!"

"No, I have to! I have to!" I yelled back at him.

Dean kissed my forehead, and I turned to look at him. I told him through a mess of tears and panic, "I can't do this...I can't do this..."

"Yes you can..." Dean's voice drifted into my head.

Then I heard some noise like a siren, and I couldn't see anymore. I could hear someone yelling, "Liz? Liz? ELIZABETH!"

But I was already feeling the darkness take hold.


	11. Chapter 11

11:

I opened my eyes and found myself in darkness. A machine near me was beeping steadily. I could just see twinkles of sunlight trying to come in through the window shade. It looked like early morning. I was wrapped in a blanket. I had an oxygen tube in my nose and an IV attached to my arm. My body felt numb, calm, and painless. I blinked a few times, unsure if I was really awake.

"Dean?" I croaked. I needed a drink of water.

His hairy body was hard to see in the dim room, but his warm blue eyes were easy for me to spot. He appeared from the far corner and took my left hand into both of his. He smiled at me and asked, "You alright?"

His breath smelled like coffee. I wondered how long I had been asleep.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to sit up a little.

I looked down at my stomach. It was still a big lump under the blanket. Not quite as big as it would eventually get, but big enough for me to know that it hadn't changed. Fragments of the day before began to seep into my mind.

"Everything's alright, the baby is still inside of you. The doctor was really worried but Miz came in and they both worked on you," Dean explained.

Miz must have more training than I originally believed.

"I'm sorry I showed you my lady parts in such a weird fashion. I mean for you to see them while I was being sexy and desireable and not while I was screaming and panicking and bleeding and passing out," I said quietly.

Dean leaned in to see me better and replied, "Don't think about that right now. All that matters is you and the baby are safe."

"How is Sami?" I asked.

"He's fine," Dean answered, but the look on his face made me think there was more to it than what he was telling me.

Dean moved to one side and pointed to the other side of the room. I saw Sami lying in another bed across from me. He had been staring at me, and when I looked over, he smiled faintly against the bruising around his face and mouth. I could tell from his gaze that he wasn't the same Sami I spoke to a few days ago. He seemed stronger, but hardened somehow. He was no longer like the timid and giggling young man who always greeted me with a wide smile and twiddling fingers.

Sheamus was by his bedside, asleep with his head resting against Sami's right elbow. The last time I saw them together, it seemed like Sheamus was the one in charge. Now, it looked like Sami had more life left in him.

Trumbly and Marlyn walked in at that moment. I turned my head the other way to face them. Marlyn came to my side and took my free hand, brushing my hair away from my face like Abbey would've done if she were here. Trumbly smiled at me, then he looked deliberately at Marlyn and cleared his throat a little. I could tell from their faces that they had something important to say.

Marlyn sighed and leaned into me, saying, "Sweetie, we called your father to tell him what happened to you, and he's coming to check in on you and make sure you're alright."

My numb body suddenly felt completely detached and far away from me. I started to panic, asking, "What?! Why?! Why is he coming here?!"

Marlyn continued to stroke my hair soothingly while she spoke in a kind way, "Don't worry, honey, he just wants to throw his weight around. He'll be gone before you know it."

"Don't let him take me away!" I cried out loud enough that I woke Sheamus up and he made a loud yelp of surprise.

Marlyn tried to comfort me, saying, "No, honey, he can't take you anywhere. You're eighteen now, remember? You make your own decisions."

I shook my head and replied, "No, you don't understand. If he can't do anything to _me_ , he'll punish everyone else."

Marlyn glanced at Trumbly nervously. I explained further, "I tried to run away from home after Trumbly stopped coming to see me, and Daddy found the family I was staying with. He called them and told them he made Abbey move into a motel. He threatened to divorce her unless I came home. When I told him I was pregnant, he humiliated Seth and drove his family out of town."

Trumbly's eyes actually widened, like he didn't know his brother was capable of such atrocities. I looked deliberately at Marlyn and finished with, "My father won't do anything to me if he's mad. He'll hurt everyone else _because_ of me; because he knows that hurts me the most."

For a split second, Marlyn's expression seemed to match mine. Then, it melted away and she became very stern, telling me in a calm but firm tone, "You don't worry, Liz. We can take care of ourselves. We're _**Carnies**_. we've crossed paths with much worse people than your father."

I wasn't sure I believed it.

:-:

Marlyn and Trumbly left to talk to the doctor about letting both Sami and I go home. Dean lifted my blanket to let my feet air out when it got hotter later in the day. The nurse brought me some food and I ate while we all watched some dumb sitcom on the tiny television hanging from the far wall. Whatever was going on with Sami wasn't mentioned while I was there. I noticed that Sami wasn't speaking at all. Sheamus kept asking Sami specific questions about what he needed. Sami would nod or shake his head instead of answering with words.

There was a slight knock against the frame of the open door to the room, and I looked over and saw AJ peeking his head in. He was holding a bouquet of mixed wildflowers in front of him while his expression looked sheepish and somber.

Dean shot out of his chair and clenched his fists, asking, "What the fuck do you want?!"

AJ glanced at Dean but mostly kept his eyes on me, trying to urge me to let him in as he explained, "My dad knows the staff here and he said you were in the hospital, Liz. I came because I still feel bad about the other day and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Sheamus had also gotten up by this time and stood beside Dean at the ready. I sighed and answered AJ, "Fine, come in. I'm warning you ahead of time that if you do something stupid, I can't control what Dean and Sheamus will do to you."

AJ glanced at Sheamus and Dean again and swallowed hard. He looked back at me and answered, "Right," then he slowly made his way into the room and took deliberate steps over to the side of my bed opposite of the guys.

Sheamus went back to his post and sat down, but kept a watchful eye on AJ. Dean also slowly made his way to his own seat on the other side of me. Dean's chair made a loud scraping noise as he scooted closer to me and took my left hand in his own. AJ let me see the bouquet and observe the flowers before he awkwardly set it on the bedside table next to him. AJ cleared his throat and said more seriously, "I was going to tell you that I was sorry about what happened at the store. I was going to wait until you came into town again. I feel really bad that I'm telling you now when I should've said something sooner."

He did seem legitimately upset. I nodded and answered, "Well, I accept your apology. This means you're not going to do what you threatened to do, right?"

Dean grunted and sat up straighter. Sheamus sniffed loudly with disapproval. AJ swallowed hard again and replied quickly, "No, of course not! I would never do anything to you! It wasn't even a threat! I mean, I was joking! I would have told you otherwise if I knew you felt that way about it."

 _Big. Fat. Liar._

I was sure he had done exactly what he had threatened to do in the store. He had probably told some, if not all of his friends and anyone else who would listen that I was dating a werewolf Carny so the whole town would think I was a freak and my senior year of high school would be spent being mocked and terrorized by my fellow peers. I was enjoying my power over AJ for the time being. I said nonchalantly, "Yeah, well, I guess you were also joking when you said you were dying to kiss me at the party because you were kissing that girl at the store, instead."

AJ laughed uneasily when he felt the tension rising in the room. He was starting to sweat. I was going to offer him my wet washcloth to wipe himself down. I added easily, "It's no big deal. I actually wanted to just stay friends. I would have told you that at the store, but your tongue was busy in that other girl's mouth so I didn't think you had time to respond to me."

Easing his way more closely to the door, AJ shrugged his shoulders and said, "So, friends, then? That's cool. Yeah, I could live with that."

More seriously, I said, "Thank you for the flowers and for the apology, AJ."

He stopped looking so eager to jump the gun and smiled at me. I should have stopped there. I had my fun, and it was actually kind of sweet of AJ to come and see me, but I was feeling wicked. I told him simply, "You know what? I think you should do what you threatened at the store if you haven't, already! Go ahead and tell everyone I'm dating a werewolf! His name is Dean, by the way!"

Dean was up like a shot, and AJ disappeared out the door just as fast. Sheamus was trying unsuccessfully to stifle his laughter. Sami also had a bit of a smile on his face. Dean immediately calmed down, showing that most of his anger was boasted to scare AJ. Dean smirked at me and asked, "Weren't you being a little too hard on him?"

"He deserves it for being mean to me and for calling you a werewolf. You are so obviously not an animal," I answered.

Dean put up his hands and argued, "So what am I, then? A dog? A half-human hybrid? Lucifer's spawn?"

I countered, "No, you are a _human being_. A _man_. A person with a condition called _hypertrichosis_ that has been heavily documented as a legitimate thing and it doesn't require you to howl at the moon."

Dean let his shoulders drop in wanton defeat. I added quickly, "And I'll tell everyone you're my _Chia Pet_ boyfriend. It's much cuter."

Sheamus busted out laughing so hard that he fell out of his chair. Dean narrowed his eyes to look angry at me, but I could see him trying not to laugh as well. I chuckled myself and Dean asked, "So we're officially a _couple_ now?"

I shrugged and answered, "Until I get tired of people offering laser hair removal surgery for my _luv-a_."

I purposefully pronounced _lover_ in a seductive way so that Dean would finally laugh. He did, and seeing his brightened expression made me feel better than I had in a long time.

All of that happiness melted away when I heard my father's voice call out from the hallway, "Elizabeth?"

I sat up as straight as I could. Dean sat down beside me once more. Sheamus got back into his chair to wait for my father to arrive. Abbey came to the door with Marlyn, first. Abbey's brunette hair was blown all around her face and she looked much older than I remembered her to be. She was holding a blue box with a red ribbon tied around it. I held out my arms for her and Abbey started for me. I glanced at Marlyn and she mouthed, " _Mom_ ," to indicate to me that I should not yet reveal that I knew the truth. Abbey should be referred to as _Mom_ for the time being.

"Momma!" I said gladly.

"Oh, my baby!" Abbey gave me a strong and generous hug. I could feel her sobbing against my shoulder. She pulled away from me and handed me the box in her hand. She added with a smile, "I know it's late, but we brought you a birthday present."

I took the box and replied, "Thank you, Momma."

Abbey placed her purse on my bedside and opened it up, pulling out a little white jumper as she explained, "I also went through our things in the garage. I found your old baby jumper that I used to dress you in every night. I thought you might want it for _your_ baby."

I took the jumper and gasped, my eyes brimming with tears at the gesture. I held it up and I noticed that there was a little yellow duck sewn into the far corner, a bit tattered from time. The jumper itself still looked almost new. It also looked so small. I couldn't believe that my baby would be the same size soon.

I put the jumper down in my lap while Abbey continued softly, "We also heard that you helped a boy that was injured."

I pointed to the other side of the room and said, "Sami."

Abbey smiled at him and waved politely. She also nodded her head at Sheamus and at Dean. She didn't seem at all bothered by Dean's looks. I was glad to know that about her, but I wasn't so sure about my dad.

She looked at me again and covered her mouth to stifle more tears. Abbey said sweetly, "Oh, I'm so proud of you! I miss you every day, Sweet Pea!"

She cupped my head in her hands and kissed my forehead. I was surprised to hear her say something like that out loud. I asked, "Really? You missed me?"

"Every day, Lizzy! Every day," Abbey smiled.

"Liz! Elizabeth!" my father was still calling from the hallway.

I could hear Uncle Trumbly arguing with him. Something fell or broke in the hallway with a loud crash and I jumped a little. Abbey moved aside to blend in with the wall as my father's tall and looming presence made its way through the door frame. I had forgotten how much Trumbly matched my father's marginal height until I saw them standing side-by-side. Hefram didn't even look at Marlyn, Dean, Sheamus, or Sami. He just focused all his attention on me as I smiled brightly and said, "Hello, Daddy."

Coming to stand by my bedside, he said in his usual civilized but boiling-beneath-the-surface tone, "Elizabeth, you are looking better than I expected."

Trumbly scoffed from behind my father, "What is she _supposed_ to look like, Hefram?!"

My father ignored his brother and motioned to the box with the bow, asking, "Did you enjoy your gift?"

"Oh, I haven't opened it yet," I mentioned, looking down at it.

"Why don't you open it, then," he said, making it sound more like an order than a suggestion.

The ends of my father's mouth were starting to twitch. I was beginning to think it was taking him a great deal of effort not to yell. I had never seen my father so restricted, before. He was making a real and dedicated effort to appear as calm as possible in front of the others.

I slowly unraveled the bow and opened the box while my father idly tended to my hair, forcefully trying to push it back away from my face like he always insisted it should be. I saw Dean shift uncomfortably in his chair out of the corner of my eye. I didn't dare look over at him. My father had yet to acknowledge Dean and I didn't want to provoke him.

"Take both sides of it, it's very fragile," my father told me when I opened the top and spotted a blue porcelain feature inside that resembled a big top tent.

I took the object by both sides like my father had instructed. I pulled it out to reveal a miniature carousel made of porcelain pieces in blue and white, my favorite colors. It seemed to glow as I examined it carefully, saying in awe, "Oh, it's beautiful, Daddy."

"There's a tab on the bottom. You don't have to wind it, just switch it back and forth to listen to the music. The carousel moves as well," my father explained.

I was so happy, I had forgotten to say something until my father mentioned, "What do you say?"

"Oh, thank you, Daddy. Thank you, Momma," I said to he and Abbey.

Abbey smiled broadly, her eyes brimming with tears, again. My father replied simply, "Abbey thought you would like it."

"What about the letter?" Trumbly asked, his voice gruff.

I thought my father was the one holding things back, but apparently Trumbly was also trying very hard not to make a scene.

"What letter?!" Hefram turned to face him sternly like Trumbly had asked a stupid question.

"I saw you folding up a letter in your car! It had Liz's name on it, and that means it belongs to _her_ ," Trumbly stated.

Hefram sighed forcefully out of his nose, then he reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a letter, handing it to me while he explained passively, "This came for you in the mail. It's from Seth."

I took it and smiled, turning it over to open it. I realized as soon as I touched the back of the envelope that it had been tampered with. My face fell and I looked up and said, "Daddy, it's already been opened."

With a formless expression, my father informed me, "Yes, I wanted to make certain that Seth didn't write anything inappropriate. You two didn't part on good terms."

I nodded my head and accepted what my father said because I noticed Trumbly's face had turned bright red and he was opening his mouth to argue. I didn't want them fighting some more. My father motioned beside him and stated, "Abbey."

She stepped forward and pulled out my old scripture book from her purse, handing it to my father, obediently. He placed it on my lap and said, "You left this at home. I thought you would want it back."

I could hear Uncle Trumbly grinding his teeth. I quickly replied, "Thank you, Daddy."

Moving on, my father informed me of the details, "Your mother and I will be staying at a hotel in town, overnight. We would like to take a look at the room you are staying in and we want to make sure that you are being provided for before we leave tomorrow evening. After what has transpired, I couldn't stand to leave knowing you could be prone to more accidents."

" _ACCIDENTS_?! WHAT ACCIDENTS?! DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE ME TO BE THAT INCAPABLE?!" Trumbly roared, unable to contain himself.

Hefram turned to face his brother and replied with a sense of superior calm, "I don't think you're incapable, Trumbly. I know you very well. You forget that we grew up, together. I know your tendency to juggle too many things at once. It probably slipped your mind to be more observant of my daughter during her time of need. Have you spoken to the doctors about leaving this place?"

Trumbly's eyes began to bulge with fury. He responded in a shrill tone, "This is not some guest house, Hefram! You can't just go to the front desk and say, _'I'm done being sick now, I think I'll leave!'_ "

"Are you insulting my intelligence?! Do you think I don't know that?!" Hefram's voice started to rise.

"No, I am not insulting your intelligence! I'm insulting your _knowledge_ of the outside world and the rituals that normal people do!" Trumbly folded his arms in protest.

I had never heard anyone talk to my father like that before. It was _**awesome**_.

"A quick wit is the sign of a fool, brother," Hefram quoted one of his most favorite of sayings he reserved for when he didn't know how else to combat people.

Trumbly scoffed and rolled his eyes like he had heard it many times, before. He answered dryly, "It's funny how you only use that phrase when you don't have a good comeback for me!"

Hefram's anger was also starting to rise. He turned to leave, saying loudly, "I'm going to talk to the doctor!"

"Wait! You haven't met my colleagues!" Trumbly motioned to Dean, Sheamus and Sami.

Hefram didn't even look at them, but turned back to Trumbly and said snidely, "I'm not inclined to associate with the delinquents you've dared to claim as your colleagues! I need to get my daughter out of this place!"

"So, just ignore my friends and my wife and everything I say to you, is that it?!" Trumbly argued, but Hefram was already leaving, so Trumbly followed after him and their voices continued echoing in the hallway.

Once they were gone and their voices had faded, Abbey stepped up more closely to me and pulled out another piece of paper from her purse. She handed it to me and said, "I want you to hide this from your father. It's the rest of Seth's letter that he tried to throw away."

I had never known Abbey to defy my father like that, before. I quickly put the second half of the letter in with the first as she explained further, "He didn't want you to have Seth's grandfather's phone number on the second half of the letter. I called it and spoke with the grandfather. A very nice fellow. He says that Seth is in Florida, now. He graduated early because he's so intelligent. He's already enrolled in college and working on a physics degree. He also met a young lady down there, and they're planning to be married."

A knot formed in my stomach when Abbey said that. I didn't love Seth and I had no plans for a future with him, but knowing that he had found someone else when we never officially got to say our good-byes was hard to hear. Abbey went on, not noticing my discomfort, "His grandfather says that Seth thinks about you every day, and he would like to help support the child in any way that he can. He wants you to know that he would love to meet his child someday, whenever the time is right."

Dean, Sheamus and Sami were silent. Marlyn was also still listening by the door, but kept her mouth shut as well. Tears started forming in my eyes, and Abbey looked at me with concern, asking, "What's the matter, dear?"

"He's not mad at me?" I asked.

"Why would he be mad at you?" Abbey asked, taking my head into her open palms again.

"I ruined his life, Momma! I got knocked up and he thought he was going to have to end his schoolwork and career because of me, but instead he had to pack up and leave everything behind and pretend I never existed so he could go out and live his life, but he'll spend the rest of it wondering about me and the stupid thing we did on a Wednesday afternoon in his basement when I should've just let him go to the comic book store like he wanted to!"

I started crying, and Abbey held me, saying, "Oh honey, he doesn't think of you and the baby as a mistake. These things happen, and we live with our choices."

I sniffed and tried to wipe my eyes, saying, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so upset like this. I'm really happy you're here. I'm happy you gave me the letter. Thank you, Momma."

Abbey pulled out some tissue from her purse and dabbed my tears away, saying, "I never told anyone this, but I got pregnant my first time, too."

I stopped crying and stared at her in shock as I blurted out, "What?!"

She sighed and explained, "It was a different time when I was your age. We all thought our first time was a freebie and pregnancy was impossible. I found some rebel boy with a nice car who thought I had pretty eyes. He took off as soon as I revealed to him that our beliefs were false."

I couldn't believe it. My eyes were as wide as saucers and I asked, "What happened to the baby?!"

Abbey's face took on a mournful look and she answered softly, "Oh honey, you know me, I'm not very strong. I miscarried just a few weeks into it."

I let my mouth drop open and the tears started coming again. I wailed, "Momma, that's horrible!"

She took me into her arms in a hug again, saying, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm always telling the wrong stories at the wrong times."

Abbey was patting my back and trying to get me to calm down when Hefram and Trumbly appeared at the doorway, again. Hefram looked in on us and asked sternly, "What's going on in here?!"

Abbey let go of me and I blurted out loudly, "DADDY, I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE, NOW!"

His eyes widened and he said quickly, "I'll talk to the doctor, again!"

Both Hefram and Trumbly took off without another word, probably just to get away from me in case I went hysterical, again.

I stopped crying for a moment and I looked at Dean with astonishment, telling him, "Oh my God, he listened to me!"

Dean's eyes were as wide as my father's. Sheamus and Sami were also in some sort of shock at my unusual behavior. I looked at Abbey and said, "Did you see that?! He listened to me! He NEVER listens to me!"

I started balling again, and Abbey took me into her arms once more while Marlyn went to check my IV, asking rhetorically, "What kind of medicine are they giving to you?"

:-:

Like my father wanted, the hospital let both Sami and I leave that day. They determined our conditions to be stable, but I knew that the staff was probably trying to get rid of us because my father and my uncle wouldn't stop fighting, carrying their arguments along with them wherever they ventured. My father and Abbey followed behind us in their own car while I sat next to Dean in Trumbly's car. I took the time to open Seth's letter and read it:

 _Dear Elizabeth,_

 _I'm so sorry that I can't be there for you. I didn't want to leave you without_

 _saying goodbye, but you and I both know why it had to be done that way._

 _I want you to know that I'll always have time for you and the baby if you_

 _need anything. I know money isn't much compensation for the sacrifices_

 _you've made, but a baby is expensive and I want you to have access to_

 _provide he or she with the best things in life._

 _I don't want to live my life knowing that_

 _you struggled for all three of us. I wish I could be there to welcome our_

 _baby into the world, Liz. I know we didn't love each other but we still_

 _made a miracle together and that means something. I'm sure you'll marry_

 _some great guy and have more babies with him, but I'm glad for ours._

 _I don't know what you want to do about telling our baby about me. I won't be mad_

 _if you decide not to tell our child about me at all._

 _My mom says that most parents wait until the child is grown up to tell them_

 _because they might not understand it when they're young. Sometimes_

 _the child never knows. Please mention me, Liz. I want_

 _our baby to know that the conception was unexpected, but no less_

 _amazing than anyone else._

I flipped to the second page, the one that my father had tried to dispose of, and read on:

 _I would love to hear about your progress as well as our baby's. I can_

 _only give you my grandfather's phone number for now, because I'm_

 _sure your father is reading this, but Grandpa Jones has promised to pass on_

 _anything you might send to him._

 _I want to know when he or she learns to walk, rides a bike, starts the first day_

 _of school and (hopefully) becomes a science superstar, or (more popularly)_

 _goes on to be a football champ._

 _I won't forget you or the baby, Liz. I can't wait for the phone call when_

 _Grandpa tells me our baby's name. Of course, I'll let you pick, but I can't_

 _help pointing out that Seth is a very unique boy's name and it's frankly_

 _badass. If it's a girl, your mom's name would be cool._

 _Best Wishes Liz,_

 _Seth_

His grandfather's number was right underneath his signature. I smiled when I finished the letter. I read it over one more time before putting it away. I glanced over at Dean. He could have easily read the letter from next to me, and I was sure he had, but he acted as though he knew nothing when he said, "Do you mind sharing what it says?"

"It's mostly what Abbey told me. He wants to be a part of the baby's life and he hopes I'll find a man to marry someday and be happy with."

I looked very deliberately at Dean, but he said nothing.

"Oy, wha' a trooper. Yer da' almos' made me piss out me ears when he yelled for us to ge' movin'. I'd die of frigh' tellin' him I baked a bun 'n his daugh'er," Sheamus pointed out.

Dean smirked, and I asked him, "Are you scared of my dad, Dean?"

Trumbly was watching us from the rear view mirror while he drove, listening to the conversation intently. Dean shrugged and said, "He's moody, but I figure if I stay out of his way then he'll stay out of mine."

"You do remember that he's going to look over all my stuff, right?" I asked.

"So?" Dean looked at me.

"So...we're roommates," I pointed out.

Dean's eyes widened and he answered, "Oh...right."

Sheamus chuckled and patted Dean's shoulder, saying jokingly, "It was nice knowin' ya, Dean-O!"


	12. Chapter 12

12:

As soon as we pulled up to the house, Uncle Trumbly stepped out of the car. My father made sure to step out of his own car at almost exactly the same time. They both resumed their argument from the hospital as if they had never been apart. My father immediately picked up on the chipping paint outside of Trumbly's house and stated loudly, "Lead paint is found in old houses and can be harmful if inhaled or swallowed! It's common knowledge!"

"Then, I'll have someone come out and inspect it for lead! If they find it, I'll immediately repaint the whole place, inside and out! Of course I can't hold back the people who might accidentally eat it before I can get it tested!" Trumbly shot back.

"You should get a _real_ inspector! One with _actual_ credentials, not some random place you pointed to in the phone book or a friend-of-a-friend!" Hefram snarled.

While my father and uncle bickered, I stayed with Dean, Sheamus and Sami. Marlyn led Abbey up the steps to the front door, where they waited anxiously for their husbands to follow. Sheamus gave me a tug on the arm good-bye and whispered, "I'm goin' to feed the camels. Ya comin', Sami?"

I could tell Sheamus wanted to get Sami away from all the drama. It would also give them some time alone to talk. Sheamus' eyes looked pleading, but Sami shoved his hands into his pockets and swayed more closely to me, shaking his head like he didn't want to leave my side. I thought it was odd that he would want to stay with me when my father was so obviously hoping to bite off the head of anyone who appeared to be my friend. I glanced at Dean for answers. He was looking at me with a stern expression, like he wanted to tell me what was going on but now was not the time.

Sheamus shrugged it off and started to leave without Sami. I whispered to Sami, "You should go with Sheamus! I would love to feed the camels myself but I can't go, so you can feed them and come back and tell me what it's like!"

Sami seemed a little less anxious when I said this. He nodded furtively and took off with Sheamus. Glancing back at me only once before he moved on, Sheamus gave me thanks with his eyes. When they were out of sight, Dean leaned into me and whispered, "We need to talk about Sami when we have more time."

I nodded, but that was all I could do before my father was headed up the front steps, calling after me, "Follow me, Elizabeth!"

I did as I was told. I was delighted and surprised when I encountered a huge group of Carnies gathered just inside the door. I knew some and others I didn't know, but they were all waiting on me. Miz pulled me into a big hug. Kevin and Bray each handed me a fresh picked wildflower, much to Charlotte's chagrin, who was standing next to them with her arms folded. I didn't look at my father's reaction to the people around me, but when I came back to him, I noticed he was staring at Tamina with eyes as wide as saucers.

I was still smiling broadly when I rejoined my father. I told everyone kindly, "Thank you so much!"

My father scolded me sharply, "Don't appear so eager, Liz. It's childish."

The room went silent and I turned to look at my father as my smile faded.

Trumbly immediately came to my defense, shouting, "Why did you have to say that?! There is no reason to squash her confidence! People are glad to see she's back from the hospital and doing okay! She was only thanking them like any well-mannered peson would do!" 

"People will get the wrong assumption about her if they see her being so zealous about what they think!" Hefram protested.

Forgetting there were other people in the room, the two brothers resumed arguing at the top of their lungs.

Trumbly shouted, "No, _you_ assume they will get the wrong idea! Why won't you let her just be herself, for God's sake!"

"Don't use the Lord's name that way, brother! You can say what you need to without resorting to violence against His character!" Hefram countered.

Trumbly stepped forward so he was too close to Hefram's face. Trumbly was furious as he spat, "This is _my_ house! I say Liz can act the way she wants here and you can't tell her what to do!"

"This is not _your_ house! This was _Father's_ house and he willed half of it to me!" Hefram countered.

"Yes, but you didn't bother to take your half! By default, it's all mine, unless you're willing and daring enough to kick out half of my staff!" Hefram roared.

I seized the opportunity to distract them as I put up a hand and asked, "What was Grandpa like?"

They both turned to me as if they hadn't realized I was still there. My father folded his arms and turned his chin up as he stated simply, "Grandfather Chapfield was a senile old fool."

Trumbly's face went from red to purple and he screamed, "He was NOT senile! He was an _eccentric_! An _idealist_! A _**genius**_ far ahead of his time!"

My father unfolded his arms so he could wave them as he cried, "He believed he could fry eggs on his head if he stood in the sun long enough! He complained of messages in used car oil taunting him from the garage! He told people there was a lion in the river! He was an uneducated drunk who was fired from the local gas station! How he managed to ruin something as simple as pumping gas is beyond us all!"

"THERE WAS A LION IN THE RIVER! LEO WAS MY FIRST REAL PET!" Trumbly boiled over with rage.

I couldn't help it. I imagined my grandfather looking like an older version of my father and uncle, standing outside and trying to cook eggs on his bald head. I suddenly busted out laughing. Again, Hefram and Trumbly turned to face me like I was rudely interrupting their most serious debate. I immediately put my hand over my mouth to stop myself. My father suddenly started for the stairs and Trumbly took off after him. My father pointed out while they were heading up to my room, "Look what you've done! Now she thinks her grandfather is a joke!"

" _You_ brought it up!" Trumbly shot back.

I followed after them both. I was trying to get up the stairs but I was falling behind. I had been lying in a bed for nearly two days and it was difficult for me to catch up to my relations. I stopped midway and tried to hand my wildflowers and my gifts and scripture book to Dean who was coming up behind me. I asked him quietly, "Would you take these for me?"

He came up beside me to help. My father stopped arguing with Trumbly and suddenly turned to face me from the top of the stairs. He looked displeased that I had asked Dean for help.

"Abbey! Take Elizabeth's things for her!" Hefram ordered.

"Daddy, it's okay..." I started.

"She's already on her way," he pointed past me to indicate that Abbey was coming up the stairs from behind me to help.

Dean handed over what he had and I gave Abbey the rest. She gave Dean a quiet smile and started back up the stairs with me. Marlyn and the other Carnies took their leave and began disappearing in the downstairs area, moving far away from my father and uncle. I watched Marlyn leave and I wondered how she was feeling about seeing my father, again. I thought that since I now knew she was once my father's lover, I would be able to notice more chemistry between them. I was surprised to find nothing lasting about their history. My father almost completely ignored her and Marlyn seemed more than happy to stay away from him. It didn't seem to be out of respect for their spouses, but because they truly didn't like one another.

By the time I had turned back and started moving, again, my father and Trumbly were past the top of the stairs and arguing their way down the hall. I held onto the banister and took careful steps. Abbey took my other hand and led me along. I couldn't see Dean but I could feel him behind me. At one point, he dared to put his hand on the small of my back to keep me straight. His touch gave me an involuntary shudder and Abbey asked, "What's wrong, dear? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I told her airily, trying not to be obvious.

Dean's hand pressed more firmly against the small of my back. He must've thought I shuddered because I was getting tired.

We finally made it to the top of the stairs. We walked behind my feuding father and uncle until we reached the ramp to Dean's room. Abbey was still holding my hand as she led me up to the door. As soon as the three of us entered the room my father pointed out the two beds and asked me point blank, " _Who_ are you staying with, Elizabeth?!"

Trumbly spoke up before I could, arguing, "Dean is staying with Liz because this is _his_ room, originally! It's one of the largest rooms and it's the only room that includes an extra large bathroom and three windows for better air circulation! I thought she shouldn't be alone in case she needs something during the night!"

I was grateful that Trumbly didn't mention my sleepwalking. My father didn't even look at Dean, basically ignoring that he was in the room with us. My father folded his arms and countered stiffly, "No! This is unacceptable!"

Trumbly seemed exhausted from all the shouting. He strained to take on a more relaxed voice as he explained, "I couldn't just tell Dean to find another room. He's made this his own and it has been his room since he and his brother, Kevin, came to stay with me."

My father sniffed and tapped his foot. He didn't even ask who Kevin was. My father managed to fold his arms even more tightly over his chest as he barked, "If you are foolish enough to put a _beastly looking man_ and a _young girl_ in a room together expecting nothing to come of it, I've misjudged your level of intelligence, brother!"

Dean stood silent beside me. I saw his fists clenching out of the corners of my eyes. He was dying to do something, but he didn't. Abbey handed me back my things and took her place against the far wall.

Trumbly was trying not to lose his temper again as he explained, "You make it sound like I plotted to put Liz in a compromising position and that's just not the case. They're the _same_ age, not a man and a girl. Dean is not beastly and you know it. You are aware of the condition of _hypertrichosis_ and you know that it does not make the person affected any more of an animal than calling yourself a tiger. I have known Dean a long time. He is strong and wise and very mature for his age. It has brought me great pleasure to work with him. I would go so far as to say he is the best Carny I have ever worked with."

My father was quiet for once. Trumbly took it as a sign of hope that he might be getting through. Trumbly spoke softly as he said, "I know Dean and he would never do anything to hurt Liz in any way..."

My father suddenly roared, "That's what you want to believe, Trumbly! Don't be a fool! You and I were young, once! We thought we were plenty mature and civilized, but if someone had put us in a room with a vulnerable girl who is so easily influenced by sexuality, proven by her current _situation_ , we would've taken full advantage! Men are men and men do bad things in the company of women!"

I glanced at Dean. He was starting to shake from the rage building inside of him. I took a step ahead of him so my father didn't catch on to it. If he saw Dean reacting to his words, my father would surely taunt him until Dean exploded just so he could say it was proof that he was right.

Trumbly countered, "I trust Dean with my life!"

My father stated boldly, "I don't care! I will not have my daughter sleeping in the same room with any man until she is married to him!"

Trumbly was speechless. My father stood unopposed. I knew that my father would keep going until he was satisfied that he had verbally obliterated everyone. I couldn't stand there and watch him do it.

I suddenly blurted out what I could no longer keep inside, "Daddy, I'm in love with Dean and I _am_ going to marry him!"

Trumbly and Hefram turned to face me with shocked expressions. I was in front of Abbey and Dean so I couldn't see their reactions, but I was sure they were as shocked as the brothers.

"Sometimes, I come across as innocent and naive, but I'm know what love is. It's when someone makes you feel like no one else does, and that's what Dean does to me. He hasn't tried to take advantage of me, and he didn't make me have feelings for him. I don't care what he looks like. I really, truly love him, even though he pushes me away and tells me not to love him at all. I think deep down, he loves me, too."

I took a deep breath and finished with, "And if either of you try to take him away from me, I will never, ever, ever speak to you, again."

:-:

Dean sat on the side of his bed. I sat on mine and put the box with my fragile carousel in it between my knees. Abbey was observing my Trumbly and Reinhearst Carnival poster by the far wall while Trumbly and Hefram were in Dean's bathroom with the door closed. They could still be heard shouting at one another.

"Is _this_ what you wanted?!" Hefram shouted.

"What?! To see Liz happy?! Of course!" Trumbly argued.

I stopped listening to them and concentrated on pulling out the carousel from the box. I took both sides like I had the first time, holding the box between my knees the best that I could while I worked. Dean was concentrating on what I was doing. So far, he had made no comment about what I had said. I could feel him looking at me a little differently, though.

"This poster is beautiful, Elizabeth," Abbey spoke up, her voice light and soft compared to the loud harshness of the two fighting brothers.

I took the carousel out and placed it gently on the bedside table next to my goldfish as I replied, "I got it for my birthday. It's the original poster that Trumbly made when he started his Carnival."

"Is this Reinhearst on the poster with Trumbly?" Abbey asked, pointing at the second man.

"Yes, I think so. What happened to him?" I asked a question of my own.

Abbey put her fingers on her lips while she thought. She gasped as she finally remembered and said, "Oh, I think Hefram told me he died of AIDS in the 1980s. Such a great loss for Trumbly. He told me once that Mr. Reinhearst was the main reason why he was so passionate about giving Carnies his mansion to live in during their off-season. Caravans and motor homes were their preferred living spaces, but he wanted them to have a real place to live with a garden and a yard and somewhere to roam; somewhere they could call _home_."

A loud crash from the bathroom made us all jump. The box between my knees fell onto the floor. Thankfully it was empty.

There was a tense few seconds of silence before Hefram and Trumbly resumed shouting once more. Dean came down on his knees to pick up my box. He handed it back to me. I noticed that my dress was still raised up so I could work with the box between my knees. Dean would only have to glance down to get the full view since my underwear had been ruined at the hospital and I had to go without when I dressed to head home.

"I'm sorry your bathroom is getting trashed, Dean," was all I could think to say.

A part of me wanted him to look down, but he didn't. He kept his eyes on mine, replying, "It's no big."

 _Look down, Dean, look **down**._

His eyes did move, but his gaze went over my shoulder instead of down. He must've remembered Abbey because Dean stood up and quickly looked away from me. I pushed my dress back down just as my father burst through the bathroom door. He stormed away while shouting over his shoulder, "Abbey, we're leaving!"

I became alert, asking, "Daddy, wait! Why are you leaving? You said that you were going to stay a while!"

He didn't listen to me. Abbey came to his side and my father took hold of her hand and rushed out through bedroom door like they were running for their lives. My father slammed the door so hard on his way out, I heard a crash behind me and I knew that it was my carousel.

My father was leaving, and the broken carousel made me realize that he was _never coming back_.

I took off after them. I opened the door and hurried to catch up to them. I was struggling as I reached for them and called out to my father, "Daddy, you should stay! I want you to see my birthday presents! You haven't met all my friends, yet! You should eat something! You're probably starving!"

My father responded to my cries by pulled even harder on Abbey. They made it to the stairs. I kept calling for them, but I didn't even know what I was saying or if I was even making sense. My insides were on fire and I could barely breathe.

Many Carnies had gathered in the living room once more. Sheamus had come inside with Sami and they were welcoming Sami back home. They stopped their celebration and all fell silent to gaze upon the drama barreling down the stairs.

I made some headway going down the stairs instead of up. I slipped a few times and almost went tumbling. I used the banister to save myself and I managed to close the gap between me and my father. I took in one big breath and reached out to grab him. I almost touched his elbow, but he was just too fast for me and he slipped away. I had to stop moving for a second because I couldn't breathe, anymore. I was so close, but my father was quickly halfway across the room and almost to the front door. I wracked my brains, trying desperately to figure out how I could stop him.

Marlyn appeared at the foot of the stairs. She was touching me and asking if I was alright. I could hear Dean and Trumbly coming down the stairs after me. I grabbed Marlyn by the arms and yelled, "Tell Daddy he has to stop! Tell him he can't leave me!"

I probably looked hysterical. _Desperate_. At _**wit's end**_. Everything I had ever known was coming undone in front of me and it was being witnessed by every Carny that my uncle worked with. My enemies, my friends, the one I loved, my uncle, my mother, and even some strangers all watched in silence as my father opened the front door and suddenly turned to face me. I took Marlyn by the hand and led her along with me as I made my way over to my father. She was reluctant to follow me. She already knew what I couldn't admit to myself. I came within a few steps of my father and waited for Marlyn to speak, but she said nothing. I could feel all sense of hope leaving me and the room so quickly that it made me wonder if I would never feel it, again.

My father tore his gaze from me and looked up at Marlyn. He stated coldly, "If you had gone to the clinic and taken care of this problem like I told you to, you could have spared me all of this bullshit."

Whatever life was left in me; whatever part of me wanted my father to love me and care for me like other fathers do; whatever part of me still held out the hope that he didn't think of me as a mistake _died_ at that moment.

"Oh, God! No!" Abbey wailed, piercing the silence.

She dropped her purse, knowing my father would instinctively bend down to pick it up.

It bought her seconds to rush in and embrace me with one gripping last hug. She pressed her lips to my ear and whispered between sobs in an almost chanting way, "You're all that's good in my life. You're all that's ever mattered to me. You're my reason for living. I love you, baby. _I love you, baby_."

My father grabbed Abbey by the shoulders to rip her away from me.

She tried to resist him, but he was so strong. She looked like a rag doll being tossed around by a giant of a man. Abbey didn't seem to care that the odds were stacked against her and she was injuring herself even more with her resistance. She kept fighting.

Hefram roared at her, "WE'RE LEAVING! _NOW_!"

I just stood there like a fool. My ears were ringing. I could hardly hear Abbey screaming, the spit from her agony splattering on my face while she fought against my father's hold on her. She managed to break free from him and she rushed to hug me for just a moment longer. My father took Abbey by the shoulders and wretched her away one more time. Abbey's arms went flailing as she tried to reach for me. She wrestled out of my father's grip and Abbey put her hands on my cheeks. Her face was so close to mine. Her breath was ragged and wheezing. Her cheeks soaked from snot and tears. The pupils in her brown eyes were like tiny lost specks as she stared at me like I was something she could never look away from. My father wrapped his arm around Abbey's middle and forced her off her own two feet. The fingernail of Abbey's left index cut my lower lip open when her hands were dragged away from my cheeks. I could feel the blood starting to form there. I didn't feel anything else until I heard the slamming of car doors outside.

I made one last effort to stop them. In a panic, I rushed out the front door and down the front steps. I reached out and called to them, "Mommy! Daddy! Wait!"

They were too far _gone_.

:-:

I went for a walk like I always did when I was upset. This time, Uncle Trumbly didn't argue with me. I kept walking for a long time, going further than I had ever ventured, before. I didn't know where I was going or when I would feel like going back. Night came and I had to use the moon to find my way around. I soon came upon an old, broken down cottage lost to time. I went inside and lay down on the dusty floor. A part of me hoped the roof of the cottage would suddenly collapse on top of me and end my suffering.

A light appeared in the distance. It made its way through the open doorway. I realized that the light was coming from a lantern carried by Dean. He had a blanket in his other hand and a bottle of water. He used his hard gaze to look me over for injuries. Then, he moved behind me to put the lantern down and spread out the blanket on the floor. He told me in his usually stern way, "You shouldn't be lying on the floor without something under you. It's filthy."

"I don't care," I murmured.

"Yeah? Well, I do," Dean said thickly, rolling me over so that I was on top of the blanket.

He brushed the dust away from my face and cleared it from my arm. He took care to wipe away the smudges leftover from tears. Then he took the water bottle and handed it to me, saying, "Drink."

"I'm not thirsty," I said stubbornly.

He urged me again to take a drink, but I wouldn't. Dean gave up and put the water bottle aside. He lay down next to me and held me close in the silence. I was beginning to wonder why Dean acted like he adored me, but when the opportunity came for him to act out his feelings and I so desperately wanted him to, he would hold himself back. I couldn't take it, anymore. I had to know the truth.

I looked up into his eyes and asked, "Why won't you make love to me, Dean?"

He searched my eyes for almost a minute in silent pondering.

Dean finally answered me, his voice broken as he did, "I was _brutalized_ growing up. Treated like an animal. I was subjected to a lot of forms of abuse. I've tried to overcome the past. I want to be the man who I know is still inside me, but I will always have issues. It's a part of me that I can't let go of. The things I like to do, the things that get me off...they're mean. Self-depreciating. Aggressive and violent, sometimes. They're things that you shouldn't be subjected to. You're still young. You have the opportunity that I didn't have. You can still explore and find the right one who fits _your_ needs. I don't want you selling yourself short just to fit mine."

"What do you like?" I asked.

"Elizabeth," he sighed. He was starting to get aggravated with me.

I thought maybe I could get him to open up if I talked about some of the things I liked. I made quiet confessions that I had never made to anyone else, before. It felt exciting and stimulating just to think that I felt comfortable enough with Dean to tell him the whole truth about me.

"I ate an orange before I was with Seth. I noticed that it made my mouth taste like citrus. I liked that the citrus taste got stronger, afterwards. It was like my senses were on overdrive!"

He smiled a little, but it wasn't enough for Dean to open up. I decided to keep going, despite the fact that I had very few things I liked because I had only really done it with Seth one time. The other experiences I had to draw from were awkward make-out sessions and random moments, like when I slipped on some mud and my sixth grade crush touched my butt while trying to help me up.

"I like it when the guy makes noises like a grunt or a groan when he's with me. It's so...primitive, which makes me feel excited."

Seth was not the grunting type. He only did it once while we were kissing and once when he stubbed his toe trying to lye down next to me. I couldn't believe how aroused I felt at his toe's expense.

"I like to be touched right here," I said, pointing just above my abdomen in the center spot where my rib cage ended.

I added quietly, "It's a highly sensitive place for me for some reason. One time, Seth tried to tickle me there and I made out with him for almost an hour."

Dean let out a low chuckle but didn't speak up. I opened my mouth to start again. I planned on making things up if I had to.

Dean finally opened his mouth. He said simply, "I like experimenting."

He paused as if he were waiting for me to respond. I asked curiously, "What kind of experiments?"

Dean rolled his eyes up like he was trying to picture something. He chose his words carefully and left most to the imagination as he explained, "Positions and stuff. I'm active enough that I can do a lot. I like to try new things."

I nodded that I understood what he was saying. He watched me for a moment, like he thought I might make a face or argue with him. I didn't, so he continued more urgently, "I like...chasing the girl around. Not the silly chases like you see in the movies. I like it better when she's hard to catch. No...I _really_ like it when she doesn't make anything easy for me."

His eyes took on a more distant look. Dean still kept his gaze on me while he continued more softly, "I don't feel it as easily as other guys do. I can't get hard fast like I want to. I usually have to get rough on myself just to get going. Sometimes, I cum in a way that's less intense and I don't squirt. Other times, I cum really hard and I squirt a lot. Sometimes, I don't cum at all, but I still feel satisfied. It's like not getting my release is some sort of a reward for me."

I nodded and he continued, "I would rather eat a girl out or rub her on top than put it in. I like hurting myself sometimes before the act. I've gone too far at times. I broke my arm, once."

His eyes searched me, again. I waited for him to keep going and he did, "The most exciting thing is when another guy of my choosing gets involved. Not so much to penetrate me but another guy knows the tricks I need to get going. I like it most when I can watch while he satisfies my girl. I like touching her, afterwards, when she's all sweaty and spent and blissful."

He was searching my eyes once more. He was waiting for me to be upset. He seemed to think I would want to call him out for being gross, or I would say getting another person involved was too much trouble or too weird. Instead, I asked, "Is that why Charlotte is with Kevin by our room every other night?"

Dean lifted one brow like he was intrigued I was asking such a simple question after all that I had heard. He answered me anyway, "She's over the top. She thinks that my brother and I have a sexual rivalry and she thinks I'll get involved out of jealousy if I hear them going at it."

"Are you attracted to her?" I asked, legitimately wondering.

"No," Dean answered easily.

"Are you attracted to _me_?" I asked, really hoping he would answer positively.

He grew quiet again, but I could see the answer in his expression.

"Yes."

"And you're attracted to me even though I'm pregnant?" I asked.

" _Especially_ because you're pregnant. It's something I haven't...explored before," Dean answered with a hard swallow.

"Then how come you don't want to show me?" I asked.

"I don't want to subject you to my shit, Liz. It's a lot to take in when you're new. I don't want you to think you have to be into that stuff just to get me to like you. I'm not like other guys. Most of them have a lot of fantasies but they don't actually engage. Most of them don't need to hurt themselves, either. You're...very pure, in every sense of the word. That's not a bad thing. In fact, it's even more of a turn on," Dean stated.

I tried to counter his beliefs about me by arguing, "I can't run very well at the moment, but I wouldn't mind a good chase in the future. I don't mind being rough with you or you being a little rough with me. I went to public school, so I know what eating out is and I think I can handle it. If you're looking for another guy to join us, I've heard that Sheamus likes both men and women and I think he's really handsome and I trust him."

Dean chuckled airily and shook his head, asking, "Why do you do that?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Why do you try to make things easier for me to be damaged when you should just walk away and forget it?"

I hugged him more closely and answered, "I told you that I love you, and I'm not going to take that back because you look different and you've got unique tastes and you might be a masochist."

The faint sound of a car engine came from the distance. Dean got up and helped me to my feet, saying, "Your ride is here."

He led me out of the broken down cottage and we walked toward a pair of tiny headlights parked in the tall grass. It was a few minutes before I could make out Uncle Trumbly's classic car. Dean let me get into the backseat with him. I saw Marlyn in the passenger seat and Trumbly at the wheel. Marlyn looked back at me with a tragic expression, but I was too tired to think straight and I just settled my head on Dean's shoulder to fall asleep.

On the ride back home, Trumbly told me, "We're going to sit down tomorrow and talk about everything that has happened today, Liz. You're eighteen now so you can move out on your own if you like, or we can set up a permanent residence at the house for you. We can work on getting you a bank account, a job; everything you need. We are also going to talk about your feelings for Dean. I'm not condoning your relationship but we need to sit down and discuss what it means and how to move forward."

My uncle said something else I didn't catch in my daze, probably a pessimistic observation of some sort, then he went on, "We also need to talk about Sami. The doctor said that he's having great difficulty speaking due to the trauma he went through, although there is nothing clinically wrong with his voice if he wants to talk. He has also developed a strong attachment to you and he truly believes you are an angel and you were sent to find him. It's just not healthy. You can still be friends with Sami, but he needs to know that you're not some creature of the heavens and you're not always going to be there to bail him out when he's in trouble."

I was almost completely asleep. I murmured without thinking, "Okay, Daddy."

Trumbly didn't say another word, and I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

13:

Dean must've carried me back to our room. I woke up in my bed at some point with Dean lying beside me. I could hear Kevin and Charlotte arguing from the room just down the ramp from us. Their voices carried through the ventilation system and echoed through our room.

"I don't want to do this anymore! It's fucking ridiculous!" Kevin yelled.

"You've got a hard-on for that baby filled bitch like everyone else, don't you?! Admit it!" Charlotte argued.

"I just think it's fucking stupid to keep this up! Dean doesn't care! I don't care, either! I just wanted to get laid!" Kevin shouted back.

I looked up at Dean and asked, "What's going on?"

"It's okay, just go back to sleep," he answered me softly, brushing my hair away from my face.

An unusual whistling sound came from the open far window, and I thought it was a bird at first. Dean whistled back just as quietly and suddenly Sheamus appeared in the windowsill. He said softly, "Sami can' sleep. Can we stay here the nigh'?"

"Fine," Dean answered, and Sheamus picked himself up to get through the window.

"Dean, it's so hot, I can't breathe," I complained.

I felt like I was roasting even in the lukewarm night air. Dean turned the fan on at the bedside table and positioned it to blow on me, asking, "Does that help?"

"Yeah, a little," I said, but something else was bothering me and I still wasn't awake enough to figure out what.

Sheamus had pulled Sami in by that time. They came over to my bed. Sami lay down next to me where there was still some space. Sheamus draped himself over the foot of my bed and stretched out to sleep. Neither of them seemed concerned about the argument between Charlotte and Kevin.

"You are such a fucking bitch!" Kevin shouted.

"Oh, and you're prince charming?! Your body is all fucked up and smells like motor oil and shit!" Charlotte countered.

"Oh that hurts, Charlotte! That really fucking hurts! You're so good at making _me_ feel ashamed, you bearded dragon!" Kevin yelled back sarcastically.

I finally realized what was bothering me. I sat up and asked, "Am I in the same clothes from yesterday?"

"Yeah," Dean sat up with me.

"I don't usually sleep with my bra on. It's hurting me, I have to get it off," I said, trying to pull down my dress over my arms first.

"Sheamus, look away," Dean told him.

He was lying flat on his stomach, but he sat up and argued, "Oy! I know wha's up Nurth, I 'ave seen it befure! Besides, the Sawth's alrea'y open fur view!"

I had forgotten that I still wasn't wearing underwear from the day before and I had bent my knees to sit up, giving Sheamus a good look right between my legs.

Dean kicked at Sheamus. I sighed with frustration and said, "Dean, I don't care, just get it off!"

"You're the biggest half-wit I've ever seen in my life!" Charlotte shouted at Kevin from the other room.

I heard their voices moving from the room to the hallway. It was a little harder to hear them, but they were loud enough that I could make out Kevin yelling, "Yeah?! Well I have half a wit to leave your sorry ass!"

I could feel Dean working with the hooks on my back to get my bra undone, but he was having trouble in the dark. I felt a pair of more delicate fingers pushed my bra inward and unhooked it easily. I heard Dean mumble from behind me, "Thanks Sami."

"Thank you, Sami," I added myself, and I started to take my bra off without thinking, still not awake enough to be embarrassed.

"Liz, wait," Dean warned.

Sheamus hadn't looked away like Dean had told him to because I said I didn't care. His eyes nearly popped out of his head as he shot up and stared at my breasts. They had grown a lot with my pregnancy. He shouted a little too loudly, "Mother of Christ!"

Dean brought his arm back and rolled forward to punch Sheamus in anger. Sheamus chuckled and put his arms up to shield himself. Dean stopped mid-punch and all of us turned to look at the door when we heard Charlotte say to Kevin from the hallway, "Wait, did you hear that?"

There was a moment of silence, then Kevin started up the ramp, saying, "I think I'll go talk to my brother for a while."

"Wait, you get back here! I'm not..." Charlotte began, but Kevin opened the door and walked into our room without letting her finish.

He was still wearing some coveralls, but his shirt was gone and the coveralls were unhooked and barely riding against his hips as Kevin's large upper body pushed up against the door and his palm held onto the knob to keep Charlotte out. In the moonlight, I could see more scarring on his skin from his past. There were burn marks and welts and old scars that were easier to see in the semi-darkness. While Charlotte rushed up to the door and pounded on it to get inside, Kevin looked right at me and said passively, "Nice rack, Liz. Is there an orgy going on in here?"

I waited for Dean to get up and start for his brother, but surprisingly, he didn't. I knew why when Dean asked, "You drunk, Kev?"

"On my ass," Kevin grinned crookedly.

Charlotte launched into the door so hard, Kevin actually went forward a little. He quickly re-positioned himself again and she shouted from the other side, "Come out here! Come out here right now or I'm going to find someone else to fuck!"

"Yeah? Go look for Bray, he'll let you suck his dick if you can find it!" Kevin laughed maniacally at his own joke.

Dean turned to me and said, "Put your dress back up, Liz. Kevin won't remember you in the morning."

I was still so tired, I didn't know if _I_ would remember this in the morning.

Dean got up while I worked with my dress. Sami sat up and helped me to get the right arms through the right holes. I could breathe much better and my little fan was helping a lot. I asked Sheamus, "Is it okay if I put my feet on you?"

I hadn't noticed that he was shirtless until then, and I thought he might be offended by my feet rubbing all over his back. He nodded and said, "Aye."

I looked up and I could see something in the moonlight that I hadn't noticed, before. Dean's body hair was usually thick and brushed down during the day. At night, it was pushed upwards from his movements in bed and the moon made it easier to see his skin underneath. I could see dozens of lines all across his back, some of them deeper than others.

The patterns made it look like someone had whipped him more than once.

Charlotte shoved the door one more time, then she shouted some curse words and left. Taking Kevin's shoulder, Dean led him to his bed. From the front, most of Dean's body hair was not as messy as his back and it was even harder to make out his skin, but the light and the angle gave me just enough vision to notice even more scars outlining Dean's strong muscles and most of his upper body, running down his arms and legs like a highway map.

It was also the first time that I was really able to see his male contribution between his legs since Dean didn't wear clothes to bed. I had only two other guys to compare it to, one being Seth and the other being a teenager that flashed me when I was walking through the park in the 8th grade. From what I could see, Dean was bigger than the teenage flasher and Seth. There was nothing really remarkable about his member, but as I was gathering in what I was seeing, the pink orange seed between my legs was suddenly throbbing like it did when Dean and I first kissed on the stairs.

"Liz?" Kevin asked me while he was crawling into Dean's bed.

"Huh?" I returned his question with my own, still not completely awake.

"Were you just staring at my brother's snake?" Kevin asked, making a high-pitched chuckle.

I wasn't with it enough to understand what he was referring to. I drifted back down in bed and replied, "Dean doesn't have a snake. I have a goldfish, though."

Kevin snorted a laugh and Dean came to lay down beside me, again. Sami was now lying down on my other side. My back was to him. Sheamus was already snoring lightly, undeterred by anything going on around him. Kevin leaned over the side of Dean's bed and whispered, "Dean-O. Hey, man. Hey, I think she wants her _goldfish_ to eat your _snake_."

"Shut the fuck up, Kevin," Dean warned.

"If you aren't gonna hot-dog her, then I call dibs," Kevin said.

I was already falling asleep and I didn't think to respond. Dean shot back, "If you don't shut the fuck up, I will crack your skull."

"You're such an ass-hat! She was staring at you like she totally wants you in all holes from all angles and you're being a damn cunt about it!" Kevin argued.

Dean turned away from Kevin and rolled over on his side to face me. Kevin scoffed and added, "I didn't mean take her right now, cunt-face! But I'll watch if you do!"

"Take what?" I asked warily.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep," Dean ran my long hair through his fingers.

Kevin sang the word when he said, "Dean wants to _fu-u-uu-uu-uuck_ you."

Dean turned back and warned, "One more word. I fucking dare you."

"It's okay, Dean. He's not wrong. I do want you," I said, closing my eyes.

Kevin was still teasing Dean, saying, "Hey _Prudence McVaginaface_ , why don't you just lick her on the down low and see if she'll howl like a dog!"

"Sami, just leave it. He doesn't know what he's saying," Dean said. I hadn't realized Sami had even gotten up until he laid back down behind me.

"I can't believe this! She's surrounded by a gay guy who should at least know how to lick it, an Irishman who swings both ways with a rep for being an epic lay, and a fucking howler monkey with the bluest balls in the state, and not one of you can make her squeal! Miss Basically-Still-A-Virgin can't get no satisfaction in this piece of shit house!" Kevin laughed.

Dean moved away from me but I didn't open my eyes, again. I heard the familiar thump of a fist hitting a face and Kevin stopped talking. Sami settled in more comfortably behind me. I felt Dean come back to hold me in his arms. I snuggled up to his soft body hair. I fell asleep and dreamed that Dean was howling like a monkey. Sami was sticking out his tongue and trying to lick my face. Sheamus and Kevin were tossing blue beach balls up in the air and shouting, "Mother of Christ!"

:-:

When I woke up the next morning, I found that Dean, Kevin and Sheamus were already gone. Sami was the only one still asleep by my side. I hoisted myself up to my feet and made my way to the bathroom, turning on the shower before I removed my dress and looked over what was left.

I felt _huge_. I looked _huge_. I couldn't believe I still had three months left to go. The only mirror in the bathroom was a small one above the sink, and I used it as well as my eyesight to find the various smaller bruises I had sustained from the drama of the last few days. It wasn't as bad as I had expected. I still looked weird. I touched each bruise and found them to be only mildly sore. That was a relief. My back and legs were in more pain. I wondered if I had walked for too long last night.

Steam was coming from the shower. I went over to step in, but something out of the corner of my eye made me jump and cry out.

Sami was standing in the open doorway of the bathroom.

He turned away quickly when he saw that I was shocked by his sudden appearance, and I tried to make him feel better, saying more calmly, "Oh Sami, you scared me."

His eyes were somber when he looked at me once more. I asked him, "Do you want to take a shower with me?"

Sami nodded. I got in and waited for him to join me. We carried on our shower together in silence. Sami seemed okay with me putting shampoo in his hair and handing him the soap, but he kept glancing at the bathroom door through the shower curtain like he was worried someone might bust in and grab us. Sami seemed disinterested in my body, but I couldn't help looking at him out of curiosity. He was not built like Dean and Sheamus He had lean muscle like a biker or a swimmer. His milky and freckled complexion was still mostly bruised by the abuse he had sustained from the two drifters. I doubted that he had spent any physical time with Sheamus in the shape that he was in. I began to wonder how Sami felt about being gay after he was nearly killed out of the presumption he was. I thought that if I were in the same position, I wouldn't be brave enough to handle it.

I asked weakly, "Sami?"

He turned to face me, unaware of what I was thinking. When he saw my expression, he began to put up his hands like he was ashamed of himself and he wanted to hide from me. I reached out my arms for him and walked into him, hugging him closely while doing my best not to hurt him. He was tense at first, like he might push me away, then he calmed down and he let me hold him. We just stood there together like two broken people, looking to one another for a moment of comfort. Nothing could hurt us, anymore.

Suddenly, the shower curtain flew open. I turned to see Dean standing there. I was still hugging Sami and he was still hugging me when Dean gave me a hard stare and asked, "What are you doing?!"

I let go of Sami enough to realize that the bathroom door was still wide open. Dean had just walked in without us noticing. Sheamus was standing in the door frame, but he was looking at us like what we were doing was no big deal. Only Dean was pissed.

"I'm taking a shower! So what?!" I argued.

Dean's look didn't change, and I was starting to feel a familiar sense of defiance rush over me. Dean countered angrily, "You can't just strip naked in front of everyone, Liz! It doesn't matter whether it's sexual or not! You're attracting too much attention!"

Oh, he was _not_ going to get away with that.

I put my hands on my hips and asked, "Oh, so you can look at me naked all you want but I'm not allowed to be naked in front of my gay friend, is that it?!"

Sami looked like he was ready to get the hell out of the tub. Sheamus took a towel from beside the sink and handed it to him. Sheamus smartly kept his gaze off of me while Dean countered, "What you're doing right now is totally different than what you do or don't do with me!"

I couldn't believe it. Either Dean really did have a problem with Sami, which I doubted, or more likely he was trying to cover up the fact that he was jealous of me being naked and free with somebody else.

I stepped around the side of the tub and got out away from Dean, saying, "I'm going to see my uncle!"

"I'm not done talking to you, Liz!" Dean started.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me, saying, "Well I'm done talking to you! Now get out! I didn't say you could look at me when I'm not dressed!"

Dean's brow furrowed like he was confused by my words, then he went back to a hard glare when he glanced at Sheamus and Sami and saw that Sheamus was stifling laughter. We all knew that Dean was being ridiculous.

"We are going to talk about this later," Dean stated darkly, but I turned away from him and began working with my hair, deliberately ignoring his poor excuse for a threat.

When I was ready for breakfast, I came out and found only Sami waiting for me. I asked him as we went downstairs together, "Did Dean and Sheamus have to work?"

I had forgotten that Dean was on punishment, and had probably not done any work while I was in the hospital so he was making up the time. Sami nodded and I told him, "Don't listen to Dean's antics. I was fine being with you this morning and we did nothing wrong."

Sami nodded again. He seemed to understand, and I assumed Sheamus had spoken to him about it. When we got to the dining room, I realized that breakfast was already being served. Sami and I had to hurry to get our plates. Charlotte was serving the bacon this morning She gave me an extremely violent look before tossing the plate of bacon down as far from my reach as possible. I didn't care about me, but I was mad that Sami didn't get any bacon. When Sami and I finished, we went outside. Uncle Trumbly was leaning against his classic car. He came up to me and said, "We need to talk privately."

My uncle somehow managed to have the same hard glare that Dean was wearing, earlier. I said good-bye to Sami and got into the car with my uncle. He drove silently into town with me. We went to the theater. There was no one else there for the matinee but us, and the theater was showing an obscure black and white foreign film. We sat down in the front row.

The silent film started and my uncle said, "I thought this would be the best place to talk."

He was right. The place was dead and pimply faced boy was out in the lobby. There was no one else around to overhear.

Uncle Trumbly closed his eyes and began, "I'm sorry, Liz. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Marlyn. I'm sorry you thought I was ignoring you when you first came here. I'm sorry about your father and I'm sorry that I've made life so hard for you."

I was surprised to hear Trumbly saying all of this to me. I explained, "Uncle Trumbly, don't be sorry. You've kept me going all these years with stories about your travels. You took me in when no one else would. I'm getting to live the dream I always thought your life was like."

Trumbly chuckled under his breath, but there were tears in his eyes. I had never seen my uncle look so sad before. He changed the subject, asking, "So is your love for Dean true?"

It felt harder to answer him as I explained, "Yes. I love him so much, and I think he loves me back but he doesn't know how to show it. He says I'm too pure to be with him. I _want_ to be with him, Uncle Trumbly, I really do."

Nodding like he understood, Trumbly replied, "He's right, you know."

I stared at him, so he continued, "Most of my colleagues have come from shady and traumatic pasts. They've learned to live with it, but we all carry our burdens. Dean is one who carries a lot of weight. He doesn't think he's good enough for you because you're not as jaded as he."

"What can I do to make him like me?" I asked morosely.

Chuckling again, Trumbly answered, "Keep being who you are, Liz. That's what he likes. Dean has trouble when a good thing comes along. He's just not used to it. Once he sees that you really care and you're not going anywhere, he'll come around."

It was good to hear that someone had hope for us. Trumbly changed the subject again, pointing out, "As far as Sami goes, I know his connection with you isn't physical, but I don't want him spending all his time with you and no time being independent. I want you to let him heal but set some rules so he doesn't grow too attached and forget who he is."

"It's okay, Uncle Trumbly, I know how to work with Sami," I answered.

With a long sigh, Trumbly looked up at the theater's ceiling and said, "I think it's supposed to rain today."

"I did see _two_ clouds outside," I replied.

"That's one of the signs," Trumbly smiled.

:-:

When we returned to the house, I got out of the car and looked up at the house. I noticed Paul Bearer looking back at me through his window. I turned to Uncle Trumbly and asked, "Could I take Paul out for a ride on Naomi's golf cart?"

Trumbly stared at me with confusion, asking, "Why would you want to do that?"

"Because he looks lonely and I think he needs a friend," I answered.

Trumbly nodded. He walked with me up to Paul Bearer's bedroom and carried him out to Naomi's golf cart. Uncle Trumbly went back inside and came out with Naomi walking beside him. She had a cane for support and she moved slowly but surely. Sami came up and joined us as well. I took the speaker control attached to the cart and announced, "Mr. Paul, I'd like to welcome you to T _he_ _Traveling Carnival Tour: The Off Hours!_ Featuring your hosts, the young and currently impregnated Liz Chapfield, the _Vivacious_ Naomi, and the _Mysterious_ Sami Zayn!"

As usual, Paul made no response to me. I still put the speaker up to his mouth and asked, "Any comments before we start, sir?"

He said nothing. I kept the speaker control on his mouth a moment longer. I took it back after a long pause and state, "Enough with the small talk, Paul! We have things to see!"

I drove slowly throughout the whole yard, using the loudspeaker as I went. Some of the other Carnies stopped to watch us. Bray, Kevin, Dean and Sheamus were glancing at me while they worked. A few Carnies followed along behind us. Some children ran after us whenever I decided to really hit the gas. Naomi would hold her hand over her heart every time we went faster and she would gasp, "Oh, my!"

Every time I saw a fellow Carny that I knew, I would announce their name for Paul. The first to stop in front of us was Tamina.

"Is it a _she_? Is it a _he_? _She_ will buy you dresses. _He_ will give you the warmest bear hug in the county. _She_ can recommend a great hairstylist. _He_ will tell you to shove it if you don't get _his_ name right...introducing the most talented man to ever feel like a woman, Tamina!"

Every time I announced someone, Naomi would clap. Paul would stare blankly ahead. Sami didn't say a word either, so I had to be the one to fill in the gaps and avoid awkward pauses.

Next, we came up to Bray. I slowly made circles around him in the cart while he stood up straight and watched us with his head cocked to one-side. I explained dramatically, "His name is also the sound a mule makes. His gaze is both penetrating and honest. He's not the guy you want to mess with. He hits as hard as he works...Paul, meet Bray Wyatt!"

Bray waved and grinned. Paul stared. _This was fun._

We found Jericho the clown sprawled out on the lawn. I drove slowly past him and explained, "He drinks twenty-six hours a day, forty days a week! He's a clown, but don't ask him to make you laugh! Don't make fun of his shoes or he'll shove that size 32 where the sun don't shine...introducing Jericho the Clown!"

Jericho lifted his hand and gave us a shaky thumbs up. We moved on. Some of the Carnies were making an effort to come near the car so they could be introduced as well. After a while, there were dozens walking along with us. They were listening to, laughing at and clapping for my introductions. I wasn't just introducing Paul to the Carnies, anymore. I was now introducing the _Carnival_ to the Carnies.

I stopped by a tree where Sheamus and Dean were eating lunch. They both looked exhausted from a hard day's work, so I thought I would lighten the mood while showing Dean I had no hard feelings about our fight, earlier.

Starting with Sheamus, I explained, "This is a rare sight indeed, Paul. You are observing an _Irishman_...yes, I said _Irish_...and he is eating his sandwich _without_ an alcoholic beverage!"

The Carnies around me gasped and murmured to exaggerate the shock value. Paul still stared blankly ahead.

"Why is this, you ask? Well, the answer is obvious...Jericho the Clown already drank all the booze!"

The Carnies laughed and cheered. Sheamus was doubling over with laughter. Paul was still blank.

I directed my attention to Dean. He locked eyes with me but remained stoic. I explained in a hushed tone, "What you see next to Sheamus is not his shadow, Paul! No-siree! This is a man who doesn't need a costume for Halloween because he kills it on his own! He's as manly as they come! So manly, in fact, that no one needs to tell him to get some hair on his chest! He also comes complete with a 'copping' attitude, a 'quicksilver' wit, and a 'get off my damn porch' aloofness that makes the ladies swoon. I'd like to introduce you to Dean Ambrose!"

The Carnies erupted into a fit of cheers, whistles and yelps of joy. Dean smirked at me. Maybe he wasn't as mad as I thought.

We traveled a little further, but it was getting late. I found Kevin and explained to Paul, "His name makes you think of a Wall Street guru taking a break from his corporate job! He's handsome, introduces himself to newbies with a fake Southern accent, and he's prone to violent outbursts and cynically truthful criticisms. Paul, meet Kevin Owens!"

I even did introductions on Sami and Naomi, saying, "If you have a problem, she's there for you! She's got a wealth of knowledge that she loves to share! Her heart is bigger than she is! Give it up for Naomi!"

When Sami stepped out in front of the cart, I shushed Paul even though he was already silent. I explained quietly, "Another rare sight, Pauly. You are gazing upon the calm and collected Sami, a Carny who likes long walks and cold lemonades. He'll be your best friend for the rest of time. He walks where you walk. He picks up whatever you leave behind. Paul, meet Sami Zayn!"

By this time, nearly all the Carnies, including Uncle Trumbly and Marlyn, were following behind us. They all cheered when I introduced every Carny. I was mostly sticking to the people I knew and making up things about the people I didn't by picking out obvious qualities like tallness and the number of piercings. We were almost done when Bray and Kevin shoved Charlotte in front of the cart and said, "Do Char!"

Most of the male Carnies cheered me on. Charlotte folded her arms and stared at the ground like she wanted nothing more than to get away. I had the chance to make a fool out of her, but I chose a different route. I turned to Paul and asked, "Have you ever seen the sunrise, sir? I mean, really looked at it?"

Charlotte looked up at me, her curiosity piqued. I continued, saying, "Just before the dawn, there's darkness. Nothing is around you. You are confused and lost, maybe tired and hungry. You're unsure. You are looking for somewhere to go. Then, off in the horizon, you see the glimmer of light shining. As it rises, it shows rays in the color of passion, fury and energy. It burns your skin. It hurts your eyes to gaze upon it. You can't look away because it's so beautiful. You know that no matter how many times you see it, it will never be again the way you see it, now. Paul, I would like to introduce you to Charlotte Flair."

I turned to face her. The breeze was blowing her blond strands into her face. Her beard was flowing with the wind. Tears were forming in her eyes and she looked at me as if we were old friends and she was seeing me for the first time in years. It made me wonder if anyone had ever said anything very nice to Charlotte in her whole life.

I asked through the speaker, "Can you see it, Paul? Can you see the sunrise before you?"

Putting the speaker to his lips again, I assumed he wouldn't respond. Surprisingly, his gaze moved to Charlotte and he whispered, "I see it."

Everyone had fallen silent in shock. I pulled the speaker phone back to my lips and replied, "That's exactly what I thought you'd say."

I waited for a few moments to let Paul's words linger, then I said, "This is the end of our tour. I hope you have enjoyed yourself, Paul. For my final introduction, I will introduce _you_ to the other Carnies."

I turned to face our audience and explained, "He's probably older than time. He looks like he has seen it all, but he never talks about it. Why? Because no one takes the time to _fucking_ ask him."

Naomi gasped at my word usage, but I wanted to be dramatic. I announced loudly, "Ladies and gentlemen, meet Paul Bearer!"

They all clapped and cheered. Paul smiled a little. He looked overwhelmed.


	14. Chapter 14

14:

Dreams flooded my mind. They showed me images of my father, of Dean; of other stresses in my life. I felt exhausted as I wandered down endless hallways, reaching out for the people I wanted in my life, only to discover they were out of reach.

I was jolted out of my dreams very suddenly when I felt something fall against me. I thought at first that it was a pillow, or maybe something from the bedside table. When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on my side on a wooden floor. I was staring at the edge of a vanity I didn't recognize with chipping white paint and tiny side drawers with metal handles that looked like they had been chewed on.

 _This wasn't my room._

I carefully rolled over, seeing a blend of stark colors all around me as I did. There was a wall and a ceiling. At least I knew I was in a room. It smelled of sweat and moldy vinyl. The heat was stifling, like there was a lack of air conditioning. The only light was coming in through a tiny window near a doorway to one side of me. There was something pressing against my back. It was probably what had fallen on me. I shifted away from it. It felt like clothes or a soft plush toy. I sat up and felt something cold on my right ankle. When I looked down at it, I saw that my ankle was bound to the floor by an old rusty chain.

 _Was I a prisoner?_

There was a man on the opposite side of the room with his back to me. I sat up straighter to get a better look at him. He was hunched over but he wasn't very tall to begin with. He had a head of short brown hair and a thin body. He was wearing a pair of dirty and tattered coveralls with no shirt on underneath. His muscles were strong but lean. There was something odd about his skin that I couldn't quite see.

He was busy shuffling through the drawers of another vanity on the far side of the room. He seemed to be looking intently for something when he suddenly turned to face me. I glanced at his hands when they pulled out of the vanity drawer. I saw that his fingernails were long and jagged. I blinked a few times but there was still something odd about his skin. Something that I couldn't get my eyes to adjust on. I looked down and noticed a pile of something shiny and thin on the floor near me. It looked like jagged pieces of vinyl laminate that someone had pulled apart into chunks.

The man with the odd skin just stared at me without speaking. I looked around the room some more. I saw a teenage boy sleeping on his stomach at an odd angle over a couch against the far wall. Everything around him was also stacked high and full of clutter. He was also wearing a pair of coveralls with no shirt. His hair was short, dark and curly. There was also something odd about his skin. He had burn scars over most of his exposed skin. It looked like he had been in a fire. His face was spared from the scars.

I turned back to face the man at the vanity. He was still staring at me. I asked him politely, "Excuse me, are you with Uncle Trumbly's Carnival?"

He took a few steps closer to me. I struggled not to gasp. His skin was covered in what looked like thick shingles. It made his appearance look more like a lizard than a man. He sneered at me and I saw that his teeth had been filed down to points. He stuck out his tongue at me and it had been split at the end to resemble a reptile.

The man hissed at me. He was so hateful that I was forced to look away. My eyes went back to the vinyl pieces on the floor. I gave it a better look and realized that it resembled peeled off skin.

If the man was working for my uncle, he didn't seem to care that I was Trumbly's niece. He sat back down by the vanity and continued sifting through things like he was searching intently for something. The teenager was still asleep on the couch. He didn't seem the least bit bothered by all the hissing.

There didn't seem to be anyone else around. I glanced at my ankle chain. There was no way I could get out of it on my own. I must've wandered somewhere while sleepwalking. I thought maybe the lizard man restrained me to keep me from wandering any further. Maybe he was waiting for Dean to come and get me.

I waited patiently for a few minutes. My night dress was covered in sweat from the heat. I felt like I had to use the bathroom and I was hungry. I decided that I should ask the man at the vanity for help.

"Excuse me, sir? Is Dean coming anytime-"

The man whirled around and threw an old brush straight at my head. I moved out of the way just in time for it to fly past me. It collided with something behind me and it made a loud crash. The noice still didn't wake the teenager on the couch.

The man hissed at me again and turned back to the vanity. I could feel a sense of panic rising within me. I looked around some more. I was trying to figure out where I was, but this place looked totally unfamiliar.

 _What if Dean had no idea where I was?_

:-:

The man at the vanity was mostly keeping his back to me. He didn't seem very concerned about what I was doing. I tried to move and stretch to get a better look at my surroundings. The only window was too small and too high for me to see much. When I leaned forward, I saw the edge of a tall tree limb just outside the window. That meant that I was no longer in Trumbly's house. I was probably still somewhere on his land, though. I scanned the walls and the layout. I realized that the room was less like the bedroom of a house and more like the room of a trailer. Whenever the lizard man moved, the room would shake slightly. I remembered seeing old caravans in the distance on my uncle's property when I walked around. I wondered if I was in one of them.

If I were in one of the caravans, I was certain that Dean would find me. It was just a matter of _when_.

I was sweating so much from the heat. The lizard man and the teenager on the couch seemed to have no problem with the lack of a cooling system in the humid Tennessee summer. They must've been used to it. I found a small cloth handkerchief on the floor and I used it to wipe my face.

Some time passed. I heard footsteps coming from outside. They sounded like they were hitting wood. I assumed there was a deck or wooden steps out there. Some light came in when I heard a door open just beyond the room. The door closed, again. I held my breath, hoping to see Dean. The lizard man didn't go to greet whoever was coming in. The teenager slept. My hopes deflated when I saw an unfamiliar brown haired woman walk in. She was dressed in a pink and white dress. She had a pink feather boa around her neck. She stopped and looked down at me. Her face was covered in thick makeup and her brown eyes were set in a cold stare.

She made a strange smile. I saw a flash across her face like she knew who I was, but her smile told me she was not about to rescue me. She put her hands on her hips and asked the lizard man in an voice with more bass than her womanly figure commanded, "Caught a big one this morning, didn't you, Finn?"

He turned to face her and nodded quickly, like a servant doing a good deed for his master. I had the feeling this woman was more dangerous than her pink boa let on.

The woman sighed nonchalantly and sauntered past me like I wasn't even there. She sat down at the vanity that I first saw when I opened my eyes. It was just a few feet in front of me. The woman had walked right by my ankle chain but she made no mention of it.

I hoped that continuing to be polite would help my chances as I asked, "Hello, Miss! I'm Trumbly's niece, Liz. Could I please go back to the house? I really need to use the restroom and I hate to bother you by asking to use yours."

She turned to one side in her chair to face me. She smiled quietly as if I were a young child asking her permission to do something when I already knew the answer. I was once again given the impression that my relation to Trumbly was of no concern to these people. I reminded myself that Trumbly was the boss. It probably meant that he had people who disliked him as much as those who liked him.

After a long pause to observe me, the woman sighed and answered me calmly, "Finn will let you go in a few minutes. Sit and wait until then."

"What's your name, Miss?" I asked kindly.

"Stephanie," she mimicked my kind voice.

She pulled out a chocolate bar from the vanity and tossed it to me. It was already open and half of it was gone. I was starving so I ate it, anyway.

:-:

A few minutes passed. More time passed. Maybe hours. I was getting hungry, again. I could hardly hold in my need to use the restroom. I waited until Stephanie was out of the room, Finn had his back turned to me and the teenager was still sleeping. I managed to slip my underwear down enough to relieve myself on the wooden floor. I covered it with some newspaper. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I really wanted to leave.

Finn had made no motion to even come near me, let alone let me go. Stephanie would disappear from time to time, only to come back to the vanity in front of me. She would watch me in the mirror with mild interest while she kept taking off and replacing the pile of makeup on her face. It was like she was preparing for a show, only to remove the thick makeup and re-apply. I felt like she was doing it just to annoy me.

"May I please go home, now?" I asked kindly after I felt like more than enough time had passed.

Stephanie was batting her eyelashes when I asked. She turned to face me with a discouraging look. She leaned back in her chair and asked blandly, "Finn? Can the girl go?"

" _NOOOOOOOOOOOOO_!" Finn screamed, slamming his own vanity with his fist hard enough to make the room shake.

The woman gave me a tart smile and went back to what she was doing. The teenager on the couch finally started to wake up. I could only hope that he was kinder than the others.

He sat up on the couch with droopy eyes. I noticed that he was mostly scarred on the right side of his body. He saw me and blinked his eyes like he was confused as to why I was there. He looked at Stephanie and asked, "Who's she?"

"Kane, this is Trumbly's niece. Her name is Liz," Stephanie introduce me sweetly as if I were a guest in their house.

Kane ruffled his curly hair with one hand and answered, "Oh. I didn't know we were having company over. I should've put the squirrels outside."

I glanced around but I didn't see any squirrels.

"You look fine, Kane. You always do," Stephanie blew a kiss at him through the vanity mirror.

He smiled and I noticed he was missing some teeth. The teenager was not being outwardly mean to me like the others, but he did not make a move to help me.

"I paint faces, you know. Do you want me to paint yours?" Stephanie suddenly asked me.

Once more, her tone made it sound like I was a guest. She had only changed her tune once Kane woke up. It made me wonder if he was not part of the _hate_ club.

"Um...that's really nice of you, but I really want to go home," I said.

She frowned at me. I swallowed hard. Stephanie replaced the frown with a wicked smile and replied, "In due time, _Trumbly's niece_ , Liz. If you let me paint your face, It'll pass the time."

I didn't feel I had a choice. I nodded.

Stephanie took a bowl of blue and white paint and a brush from her vanity drawer. She turned her chair to one side so she could face me, better.

She told Kane, "Go and get Momma a chair for her client."

Kane did as he was told. He put the chair down within reach but he didn't try and help me up. It took some effort for me to stand from the floor. My legs hurt from sitting so long and my feet were swollen. I could hardly get into the chair. Kane saw my pregnant belly and pointed at it with confusion. He asked awkwardly, "What's that?"

"She's just pregnant, son. Don't you remember? When a man puts his seed in a woman, a little person pops right out of her snatch?" Stephanie smiled.

Kane squinted his eyes like he was trying to remember. Stephanie spoke to Kane while she stared directly at me, "This was the little religious girl that got knocked up by that boy from school. It made Poppa Hefram so very angry."

She wanted me to know that she was aware of _exactly_ who I was. She even knew who my father was. This was all a game to her.

I knew I couldn't get out of my restraints. I had to let Stephanie paint my face. It was _awkward_. I watched in the vanity mirror while Stephanie touched the cool paint to my face. I could see that she was doing free-hand and it came out as a beautiful design like fairy wings on the left side of my face. Even as she choose a beautiful thing to paint, I still felt like something was wrong.

 _Who was this woman?_

Stephanie didn't look like anyone I had seen, before. I tried to remember if I saw her at dinner. I couldn't picture her at my birthday party. I didn't remember seeing her at my homecoming when I came back from the hospital. Even during the fight with my father, when I thought all the Carnies were in the living room, I didn't remember seeing her.

Kane and Finn didn't look familiar, either. Their coveralls were like the ones the working Carnies wore, but I couldn't remember ever seeing them with the others in the yard. They seemed to know about me, so they couldn't be completely cut off from the goings on of the main house, but this place felt like a whole other world that was not a part of what I had seen so far.

Stephanie finished my face after spending lots of time on the details. It felt like a whole day had passed. I opened my mouth to ask if I could go. Kane interrupted me by asking, "Could I do your feet, now?"

"Oh yes! you should stay and let my Kane do your feet, Trumbly's niece. He's very good at it and he doesn't get many clients," Stephanie was almost daring me to say _no_.

I was starting to believe I might never leave this place. I asked more weakly, "Please, I just want to go back to the house. I won't tell anyone. I just want to go."

"Would she tell on us, Momma?" Kane asked curiously.

Stephanie rose up suddenly and grabbed me by the chin. I was forced to look into her dark eyes. She told me acidly, "We're loyal to Reinhearst! We have no ties to Trumbly or his desire to let outsiders in here, even if they're the mark of his own blood! You tell on us and I'll whip you so hard, you'll squeeze that baby out on the floor and I'll let Finn take it to make us a hearty stew."

She leaned into my face and stated, "Now, if you don't want me painting up the other side of your face with your own blood, I suggest you keep your pretty little mouth shut and let my boy do your feet."

I nodded the best I could to indicate that I understood, and she let go of my chin. Kane smiled broadly and grabbed a bucket from beneath the clutter by the far wall. He hopped out of the room and outside for a moment. He came back in a short time carrying water in the bucket. I could only hope that his intentions were for a pedicure.

:-:

More time passed. It must've been evening by that point. Finn was still rummaging through the vanity on his side of the room. He didn't seem as intent as before. I was surprised it had taken him all this time and he still didn't find what he was looking for.

Stephanie continued putting on makeup at her own vanity. She was working with mixing different colors and powders, glancing at me from time to time with an expression like she was enjoying my pain. The only good thing was that Kane's intentions were for a pedicure, and he was very good at it. He had soaked my feet, rubbed them in a floral oil, exfoliated them with a stone and clipped my nails down to the perfect length. He was preparing some red nail polish to paint my toenails when Finn suddenly shot up and stormed his way over to us. My dress was raised up a little bit while Kane was working on my feet. Finn reached out without warning and grabbed my knee really hard. I jerked away from him.

Kane yelled, "Get away, Finn! I'm not finished with her, yet!"

Finn looked at Kane somberly. Finn made a little whine but Kane glared at him. Finn reached down and grabbed up some of my toenail clippings from the floor. He popped them into his mouth and groaned with pleasure like they were as delicious as candy.

I had to look away not to throw up.

"Get away! Get away, you!" Kane yelled at him.

Finn moved back to his vanity and paced a while before sitting down. He stared at me and whined like he was a dog and I was a juicy bone.

Kane was already on his knees to do my feet, but he leaned down almost to the floor so he was within an inch of my toenails as he started to paint them with the precision of a master artist. He was doing a very good job.

When he finished, I told him, "Thank you, Kane! My feet look wonderful!"

He sported his toothless grin at me. Then, he sat up and asked, "Can I shave you, now?"

My praise for him instantly evaporated.

"Now, Kane! You know better than to play too eager on the first night," Stephanie scolded him in a comical way.

Kane slumped his shoulders and frowned like his fun had been ruined. Stephanie stood up and wandered past me towards an accordion break in the wall that looked like it led to a room. It looked like she was planning on leaving me alone with Kane and Finn.

I asked kindly, "Kane, how about you do my hands like you did my feet?"

He smiled again, but with less enthusiasm. He must've been better at pedicures and shaving.

I glanced at Stephanie. She was standing by the accordion break and I saw that she was frowning at me. She must've not anticipated that I would find a way to keep Kane occupied.

A clumping sound came from outside, like someone's heavy footfalls. The room went silent and Finn, Stephanie and Kane put their focus on the noise. There was a loud BOOM as the front door got kicked in. It flew all the way off its hinges and into the room. It landed on the floor with a loud THUD.

Dean walked in looking disheveled. He was in a pair of coveralls that were soaked from sweat. His eyes were the wildest I had ever seen them.

Dean had used the boots he was wearing to kick in the door. When he stepped inside, he looked right at me. Stephanie gasped and backed up against the wall. Kane stood up straight and moved away from me. Finn cowered at his vanity. I just stayed frozen where I was.

"Oh, my! Dean, wha...what a surprise," Stephanie tried to put on her kind act, again.

Dean tore his eyes away from me and stared Stephanie down like she was a roach he fully intended to step on. His voice was thick with a mix of rage and violence as he stated, "Sit your tight ass down!"

Stephanie did as she was told, slowly making her way over to a chair by the wall. She was starting to shake, but it wasn't from fear. She was actually looking like she enjoyed hearing Dean command her. It suddenly struck me that Stephanie was like an older and more manipulative version of Charlotte.

Dean watched Stephanie take her seat. He was breathing so hard that he could barely get the words out as he yelled, "What-the-fuck...is this SHIT?!"

Stephanie laughed awkwardly like it was all just a misunderstanding. She explained kindly, "We were just playing a game! You know how it is, Dean! Haze the new one, just like old times! No harm, of course! Only fun!"

Dean closed his eyes for a moment. He looked like he was trying desperately not to explode. He opened his eyes again and said slowly, "Liz is _NOT_ a Carny."

Stephanie cleared her throat and struggled to continue, "Finn must've found the girl wandering in the yard. He brought her back here for safekeeping! I painted her face! Kane also did her feet! A full pedicure! Isn't that nice? She loved it!"

It sounded like she was going to play the whole thing off as a little get-together. Stephanie was a complete stranger to me, but she certainly knew a lot about me. She also seemed to know the right things to say to get out of too much trouble.

Dean stared at her with his jaw clenched like he didn't believe her. I thought he might try to punch her. Dean looked back at me, again. His eyes were softer when they looked into mine. Then, he looked down.

He noticed the ankle chain.

Dean's gaze lifted to lock eyes with Kane. He told him, "Unlock her ankle."

Kane just stood there like he was frozen. Dean started for him and Kane stuttered, "I...I...there's no key..."

Dean screamed, "UNLOCK THE FUCKING CHAIN, NOW!"

Even I jumped that time. Kane blurted out quickly, "Finn swallowed the key!"

Dean turned his attention on Finn and clenched his fists. Dean took his time walking over to Finn's vanity. Finn was still coiled up in fear. Dean leaned over him and stated coldly, "I am going to do whatever I have to do and I will get that key back in five minutes. If you're lucky, maybe someday you'll be able to swallow, again."

I didn't know if Dean was serious or not, but he sure sounded like he meant what he said. Dean reached for the back of Finn's neck and gripped him hard enough to make Finn cry out in pain.

"Wait! I've got a spare key," Stephanie rushed to her feet and pulled a small key out of her pink pocket.

Dean let go of Finn and turned back to face Stephanie with a hard glare. He pointed at me and ordered her, "Unlock the damn chain."

Stephanie obeyed, getting down on her knees to fully remove the chain. I had never seen Dean so furious. It felt exhilarating to watch, but I was also a little afraid of what he might do. Once Stephanie had unlocked the chain, Dean told her, "Help Liz to her feet, for fuck's sake!"

Taking much effort to get to her own feet, Stephanie carefully helped me up. Dean's eyes drifted to my toes and he said markedly, "Nice toenail polish, Liz."

I smiled sweetly and answered, "Kane did them. He did a really good job. You did a good job, Kane."

I looked at Kane and smiled pointedly so Dean wouldn't kill him just for touching me. Dean turned to Kane and remarked, "Kane, the lady paid you a compliment. What do you say?"

"Uh...thank you, Miss Liz," Kane mumbled, rubbing his hands against his coveralls anxiously.

"You're welcome," I replied.

Nobody dared to say another word. Dean had all the control. He reached out for me to take his hand and spoke to Stephanie, saying quietly, "We'll be leaving, now."

Dean guided me around the broken door on the floor. He led me back outside and into the cool evening air. I glanced around once I was outside and realized that we were miles from the main house. I could see from the outside that I was in fact in a caravan. There were other caravans around us. Some looked old and abandoned. Others were half missing and full of old equipment. None looked like they were inhabited. The one I had left also appeared to be abandoned from the outside, even though I knew it wasn't. It made me wonder if some of the others also had Carnies in them.

Once outside, Dean let go of my hand and put his palm on the small of my back. He directed me away from the caravan. Stephanie appeared at the door as we started to leave and said quickly, "Dean, I'm so sorry! Please know that! We didn't know she was a friend of _yours_."

Dean turned back to face her and stated darkly, "You're a bad liar, Steph."

I looked away. I didn't want to see Stephanie's reaction.

We kept walking for a while in silence. We passed other caravans and old box cars filled with supplies and other artifacts related to the carnival. Some looked as old as the trees surrounding it. Some looked fairly new and completely usable. I felt compelled to explain to Dean while we walked, "I'm so sorry! I must've been sleepwalking, again! I woke up in that place and Finn had chained me up and I asked him to go and he said no! Stephanie came in and she wouldn't let me go, either! She wanted to paint my face and Kane wanted to clean my feet! Finn groped my knee and ate my toenails, and it was all really horrible but they didn't care that I was Trumbly's niece and they wouldn't let me go..."

Dean stormed up a steel ramp that led into a box car. It had an open sliding door on both sides. He seemed intent on walking through it instead of going around. I was struggling to get up the ramp. Dean stopped and waited for me. I stepped inside the car and saw that there were Carnival tents of all different shapes and colors draped along the walls and on the floor. They were like butterfly wings draping the inside of the box car. It was beautiful. I stopped to catch my breath.

I turned to Dean and asked, "Are you mad at me because I got away from you, again?"

He stared at me for a moment. I didn't know if he was going to yell at me or keep moving. Suddenly, he took me into his arms and mashed his lips against my own in a deep and passionate kiss. Everything seemed to slow down and all that mattered was us.

He backed me up against a table inside the box car. Dean lifted me up until I was sitting on the edge of the table. He kissed around my body in a sort of hectic, furious way. It felt like he was trying to stop himself but he couldn't take it, anymore. He began removing my underwear with his fingertips before pushing them completely off with his boot in a frustrated way. Dean pulled my dress over my head and ran his hands all over my body. He unhinged my bra in one quick movement and tossed it aside.

Dean kissed me in some place and inspected me in others. He treated me like I was a piece of artwork. He took his time with me. He was careful not to ruin the detailed paint on my face. When it was my turn, I took my time with him.

I brushed my fingers through his body hair, feeling the muscles and the scars underneath. I felt everything that I could, taking the time to memorize it all. When I had finished with his front, I said, "Take off your coveralls and turn around."

Dean slowly removed his boots and his coveralls. He turned around and spread out his arms so I could see him completely. I drew the lines on his back underneath the soft hair. I counted dozens of scars. I inspected down to his hips. Dean turned his head to one side and asked, "Liz?"

"Yeah?" I returned.

"I want to _fuck_ you now," Dean informed me.

I gave his backside a playful slap and said, "Don't you dare say that we're _fucking_! We are going to _make love_! Get it righ-"

He didn't let me finish. Dean turned around suddenly and grabbed me so fast, I thought I was going to fall off the table. I shouted in surprise, "Dean!"

He wrapped my legs around his hips so that I could hold on. Dean took hold of an exposed rod on the wall with his right hand for support and used his left to slip himself inside of me.

I don't know if it was the hormones from pregnancy, or if it was the spontaneous action itself, but it didn't take long before I started to feel the welling of intensity that the girls in the locker room at my old high school used to talk about. Some called it a _climax._ Others said it was _a release of sexual tension._ Still others called it an _explosion_ ; a moment of _ecstasy._ A few called it a _zoom._

Hearing about it from others, doing it to yourself and having someone you love _do it to you_ are totally different things.

I spent a lot of time fooling around with Seth and I never once felt this kind of intensity. It only took a couple of minutes with Dean for me to be over the moon.

Suddenly, I felt it all rush in at once. The intensity doubled itself with such a wave of emotion that I had to grip Dean's shoulders for support. I accidentally pulled out a little bit of hair from his left shoulder blade. Dean lurched forward and groaned with a mix of pleasure and pain. I knew that he had felt his own sense of the z _oom_.

He rested his head on my shoulder and didn't look at me right away. We were still trying to catch our breath when I realized I had pulled out some of his hair. I told him quickly, "Dean, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to pull out your hair!"

He leaned back to look at me and said with a chuckle, "Don't be. I liked it."

For the first time since I had known him, Dean looked completely at ease. He leaned in and kissed me once more. He was still being careful not to smear the paint on my face. We made out for a few more minutes before I reluctantly broke away and said, "I hate to do this, but I'm so hungry. I just have to get back to the house."

Dean nodded and helped me down. We looked for our clothes. He put his on easily, but I struggled with my dress. I picked up my underwear and I showed it to him, saying, "You left a boot mark on my undies."

In plain view was the dirty outline of Dean's boot over the backside of my panties. He chuckled and I said jokingly, "If anyone sees it, I'll tell them I got my ass kicked."

Dean chuckled, again. It usually took a lot to get him to laugh. I liked him when he was this _high_.

He stood up near the opening of the doors and I heard Sheamus cry out, "Oi! Dean-O!"

Dean turned to look out the other side of the box car and I came up beside him to see Sheamus and Sami making their way towards us. Sheamus saw me and asked Dean, "Whawr was she?"

"In the _Crab Shack_. Finn had her," Dean answered.

Sheamus stopped short and his eyes widened with horror. Sami had stopped too and stared up at us anxiously. I glanced at Dean as we made our way down to them, wondering if he would explain to me what the looks were all about. Instead, he whispered thickly into my ear, "To be continued."

I assumed that meant that either I would get an answer at a later time, or more likely, Dean wasn't quite finished romancing me. I didn't have a problem with continuing the romantic part.


	15. Chapter 15

15:

Once we were back at the house, I made a beeline for the kitchen. I was stopped when Marlyn stepped in front of me and engulfed me in a hug. I struggled for air as I tried to explain, "I would love...to hug you...forever...but I'm really hungry..."

"Oh, Elizabeth! I'm so glad you're alright! Your uncle wants to talk to you right away!" Marlyn informed me.

"That's fine, but..." I started, reaching in the direction of the kitchen.

Marlyn ignored me. She took me by the shoulders and directed me with her long arms toward the opposite side of the house and far, far away from food.

Dean, Sami and Sheamus entered the house at some point and followed after me. They stayed close as Marlyn escorted me into a former bedroom that had been converted into an office. A very cluttered office. A huge desk was near the far wall parallel to an enormous neglected fireplace. Four white couches from another era of time were positioned to make a square shape at the room's center so people could sit down and face each other. Trumbly was seated on one of the couches next to Miz and Bray was at another couch. Uncle Trumbly looked up at us with a stern expression. He focused mostly on Dean but neither said a word out loud.

I sat down at the second couch next to Bray, who was speaking with my uncle in low tones when we came in. Bray proceeded to fold his arms and keep quiet as if he was on the defensive. Dean, Sheamus and Sami sat together on the third couch. Marlyn took the fourth, still watching me with intense eyes like I might just disappear if she looked away. I felt my cheeks growing hot as I suddenly realized that everyone was looking at me. Uncle Trumbly asked with a sense of concern, "Elizabeth, are you alright?"

I didn't really know what to say. Should I tell him I'm fine so he doesn't worry and I can finally get something to eat, even though inside I was feeling all turned around? My time with Dean had eased some of the suffering I endured and I thought being near him would continue to help. I really didn't want to answer questions at the moment. I also didn't want a bunch of questions to lead to an explanation about what happened after Dean found me. I didn't want everyone in the room discovering that I just had sex.

"Um...I'm alright, I guess," I answered softly, trying to break the tension in the room with a smile.

Bray suddenly turned to me and asked, "How's my half-brother, doin'?"

"...half-brother?" I responded in confusion.

"Kane. We used to resemble one another more before his skin got fried," Bray informed me.

 _Half-brother_. So that's why Bray was here.

I answered honestly, "Oh, he seems fine. He was very nice to me."

Bray glanced down at my painted toenails and asked, "Did he do that?"

I was beginning to feel like everyone else in the room knew way more than I did and they were asking me basic questions to see how I would answer. I also felt like my answers were being closely analyzed, especially by Miz, to uncover something more relevant.

Remaining undaunted, I answered easily, "Yes, he did. He is really very good at pedicures."

Bray sighed loudly and closed his eyes in frustration, asking, "He didn't ask you if he could shave you, did he?"

I wanted to say no, but my face was already blushing crimson. I lowered my head and I felt an overwhelming need to hide as I mumbled, "He did...but I said no and he didn't ask, again."

Bray ran his hand through his hair and opened his eyes, again. He looked angry, but I could tell he wasn't mad at me. Dean shifted in his seat to turn at an angle from me. I didn't dare look at him because I knew he didn't like what he was hearing and I didn't want to read the destruction Dean wished against Kane in his expression. Bray asked more specifically, "Did you tell him _no_ in very concrete terms? Like, were you absolute about it?"

I didn't understand what he meant, so I explained, "I guess so. I mean, Stephanie was the most stern with him. She said something about not being too eager on the first night. I didn't know what it meant."

Again, Dean shifted loudly in his seat. Bray and Trumbly glanced at him with concerned expressions. Miz was watching only me the whole time. His eyes were passive, but I knew that he was probably reading things like my mind or my aura and it bothered me.

"Did Ma...uh, Stephanie...say anything else?" Bray asked me.

"Ma?" I asked, confused.

Bray frowned at me a little, then he continued, "She's like a Ma to me. Kane and I, we come from a family where most die of the HIV-AIDS. Rough way to go. Our parents were gone a long time ago. Steph raised us right when no one wanted Kane after he got burned. She's a hard woman but she has her kind moments. No matter, it means no difference to you. I'm not here to judge you, I just wanna know how Ma treated you."

The room went extremely quiet. I knew everyone was waiting for me to answer. I really had no idea what to say because I didn't understand what they were searching for. I thought about the day, and the conversations I had with Stephanie, but nothing seemed at all important enough to pass on except for when she spoke of Reinhearst. As soon as I thought of that moment, Miz said to me, "Liz, don't be afraid, you may say it out loud."

Miz's calm voice seemed to provoke me to speak. I explained softly, "Stephanie told me that she supports Reinhearst. She was pretty adamant about that. She made it clear a few times that she knew who I was and my relationship to Trumbly and Marlyn, but she didn't seem to care. I told the other boy...Finn, I think...that I was waiting for Dean to come, but he didn't care, either. Stephanie was outside when I mentioned Dean. She came in, later."

I stared at Uncle Trumbly's baffled expression from my admission as I continued, "She was acting like she wanted to punish me just because I was your niece, Uncle Trumbly. She painted my face and she let Kane paint my toes, but the whole time she kept making comments like she wanted something bad to happen to me."

Bray swallowed hard and looked away. Sheamus put his hand over his face. I began to feel more emotional as I went on, "I was chained to the floor. She wouldn't let me use the bathroom or have a drink. She gave me some chocolate but that was it. I kept asking to go back to the house. I told her I wouldn't get her into trouble, but she just got meaner. It felt like she thought it was funny, teasing me and mocking me and yelling at me. I was polite the whole time. I didn't cause any trouble. It was so hot and I was tired and I asked again if I could leave and Stephanie said she'd whip me until my baby came out and she could make a stew from it and then she'd paint my face with my own blood! I just asked to go home, that's all!"

Marlyn let out a strange noise and covered her mouth to stop herself. I didn't look at her because I was watching Uncle Trumbly, who had shot up to his feet and clenched his fists. Bray's eyes widened and I instantly felt guilty that I had made his family look bad. I looked at Bray and told him, "I'm sorry! Your adoptive mother may be amazing at painting faces, but she was horribly rude to me! Your brother, Kane, he's odd but he's a sweetheart. He seemed to want nothing more than a little company. He didn't try to help me but I don't know if he understood I was in trouble. Finn has some real issues, though. He threw stuff at me and ate my toenail clippings and he grabbed me once but Kane told him to get away."

Bray kept his eyes on the floor, not showing much emotion about what I said. He mumbled under his breath, "Finn's my cousin."

"Oh, my God! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to talk bad about your family!" I wailed, feeling guilty that I was calling out his family when my father had recently displayed his own brand of rudeness toward everyone he encountered.

Things were getting out of hand. Sami and Sheamus had also stood up on their feet. Marlyn stood up as well, starting for me to bring me into another hug. Uncle Trumbly stopped them all when he countered to me, "Liz, you are being too sensitive! Bray knows his family causes trouble! You don't have to be sorry for being truthful! Now, for the sake of everyone's sanity, are you alright? Did they hurt you in any way? Do you need medical attention? Do you need counseling? We will get you anything you need! ANYTHING!"

The room was quiet once more. Everyone was staring at me and waiting for my answer. I did my best to stay calm as I said quietly, "I'm okay."

All the tension lessened significantly. I thought the conversation was done, but Miz looked at Uncle Trumbly and said, "Stephanie gave her the perception that they were going to hurt her, or perhaps keep her for some time...that she would not be found or that no one was searching for her."

Uncle Trumbly turned to face him. Miz kept his eyes on me. His eyes shifted passively, as if he were reading words across my face. He added calmly, "They gave her the perception she would never be released. They wanted her to believe that she would be their captive because of her relationship with Trumbly. They gave her the idea that Reinhearst was the better manager...perhaps to plant doubt in her mind...doubt regarding Trumbly's treatment of his colleagues. I see something else...anger or a conflict of some kind. It is not something that happened but something that could happen or a desired outcome. I believe Stephanie gave Liz these perceptions to ultimately incite violence between the carnies."

Miz sat up straighter and leaned forward. His brow furrowed as he asked sternly, "Liz, what was Stephanie doing just before Dean arrived?"

All eyes fell on me once again. I kept my eyes on Miz because that made it easier to reply, "We were in the living room. She got up and she looked like she was going to the bedroom. She would only be a few feet away and there was an accordion door so she could probably still overhear us, but I thought Stephanie was going to leave me alone with Finn and Kane."

"The chain around your ankle...it was short. You wouldn't be able to move around much or follow Stephanie to the bedroom," Miz described the scene as thought he could picture it in his mind.

"Yes. She was actually leaving right after Kane had asked to shave me. My pedicure was finished so I asked Kane if he would do a manicure for me. Stephanie looked discouraged. I think she was hoping I wouldn't have a distraction for him."

It started to feel like Miz and I were the only two people in the room. He kept his focus only on me, saying out loud what he was reading, "The boy...Kane. He was very kind to you, as you've described. His simple-mindedness allowed a sense of security. You knew you could deter him from unintentionally causing you pain...but the creature...Finn...you were more afraid of him. Something was said...he was the one who captured you? The one who brought you back to the caravan. He was not in control of himself and therefore not easily persuaded..."

Miz drifted off. I added almost to myself, "Kane could tell him what to do. He listened if Kane told him to go away. I was trying not to be afraid of Finn, but I didn't know what he wanted. He couldn't or wouldn't talk to me. When Stephanie talked about making a stew out of my baby, she said Finn would do it."

"What were you dreaming about last night, Liz?" Miz asked me suddenly.

I didn't really have to think about the answer. It just came to me easily, "I was dreaming that my dad and Dean were running away from me. I was trying to catch them. I needed their help for something but I couldn't reach them."

Miz's eyes drifted through mine, examining something further. He went someplace where I could not see him but I could feel him, there. Miz asked as kindly as if we were talking about the weather, "Did Finn do anything to you while you were dreaming? Did he lead you back to the caravan or did he carry you? When did he find you?"

The questions would've normally come across as odd to me, but I felt lazy and calm and I seemed to know exactly what Miz was getting at without having to think that hard about what he was referring to. The words came out more simply, like I was a child confessing something difficult to the adults, "He waited for me, I think. He came out from behind some trees. It was dark. He had a smile on his face. He said...no... _I_ said something. I was talking to him. I don't know what I was saying. I was not completely awake. He pushed me down. He stood over me. He pushed down on my shoulders. He would not let me up. He said something...he called me something. _Meat_. He called me _Meat_. He dragged me by my feet. I think I woke up. I tried to stand up. It hurt to be dragged. He picked me up but I was sideways. I bumped my head a few times..."

"He didn't..." I heard Uncle Trumbly say, but his voice sounded far away.

"...molested my little girl?!" Marlyn's voice was trembling and distant.

Miz's voice was the clearest, but he too seemed far away. I could only catch fragments of what he was saying, "No...less brutal. Finn...terrified...she startled him...hunting at night...her clothes were on...masturbation on his part...no penetration...left her...or worse...Stephanie...an awareness of his predatory nature...her intentions...both boys have become less compliant...Elizabeth of use to her...take their frustrations out and hurt you in the process, Trumbly...if not for Dean's interference..."

"What?" I asked, suddenly feeling the room and the people in it coming back into focus.

I was lying down on the couch, now. I didn't remember going from standing to resting. Bray, Sheamus and Sami were gone. I could only see Miz, Trumbly, Dean and Marlyn standing near me. I felt sluggish, like I had been working hard. The pieces of the conversation were coming back to me, but I was not able to process a lot of what Miz had been saying. I could hear it in my mind, but I couldn't make sense of it.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up and seeing the pained expression on Marlyn's face.

"Everything is fine, Liz. There is no need to be upset," Miz comforted me.

"Was I sleeping?" I asked, feeling a little dizzy.

"Dean, why don't you take Liz to get something to eat. She's starving," Miz said calmly, ignoring my question.

Dean took me by the hand and led me to my feet. I followed him in silence out to the hallway, where Sheamus and Sami were leaning against the wall; waiting for us. Sami took hold of my other hand and Dean led us all to the dining room where other Carnies had gathered. We all sat down, together. I turned to face Dean. He kept his eyes on the table. His blue irises shined against the light of the room. I could see a kind of fury within them, but he was trying to stifle it to a point where it was not visible on his face. I didn't know why he was so _mad_.

As soon as the food arrived, I took big handfuls and ate what I could. I was so hungry, I took my time and really piled it on. Sheamus kept leaning back in his chair to say things to Dean. I saw that Dean would respond by leaning into Sheamus, but I couldn't hear them well with all the noise around us. I noticed that Bray and Kevin weren't at the table. Miz was missing from his usual seat as well.

Sami turned to me and broke me out of my observations when he spoke for the first time in days, saying in a chalky voice, "I'm going to put a lock on your door so you won't leave at night, anymore."

Sheamus nearly broke his neck turning so fast to face Sami. Sheamus' eyes widened with astonishment and glistened with tears. His reaction made me think that this was the first time Sami had spoken since he was attacked.

"What if I have to get out of my room for some other reason?" I asked, unsure the idea that a locked door would be safer for me.

"I'll give a key to Dean, and put an extra key in the bathroom," Sami answered softly.

"Okay," I answered, not seeing any room to argue, although I was still perturbed by the thought of being locked up.

When we finished, Dean led the way back to our room. I took some extra clothes and went to the bathroom to take a shower and wash off the paint that was still left on my face from Stephanie's artwork. I could hear the muffled sounds of a drill coming from the bedroom. I assumed Sami was putting a lock on the door, already. I was a little put-off. I didn't expect him to make the adjustment so soon.

I finished in the shower. I took my time putting my night dress on. I listened for voices after the drilling had stopped, but there were none. I opened the door and glanced into the room. I found Sami sitting on my bed with a pile of candy next to him. He was watching something on an old television that he had plugged in and set up at the foot of my bed. Dean and Sheamus were by the open door of the room. I noticed that the door did have a new lock. Both men were talking to one another in low tones. I noticed Dean had loosened his coveralls so they were riding low on his hips. It looked sexy and it made me swallow hard.

"Liz, we have to work tonight. Sami's going to stay with you," Dean informed me.

"What?" I asked, concerned.

"We 'ave duble duty on the livestuck wunce a munth. We'll be back durin' the night," Sheamus explained a little more, but not enough to satisfy my confusion.

"Why can't we all stay here?!" I asked, but it was too late. Dean and Sheamus were already headed out the door. Dean gave me one last intense look before closing the door. I got the impression from his gaze that more was going on than they were telling me.

"Lock the door, please," Sami's chalky voice told me.

I went over and put the lock into the slot, closing it up and feeling a clenching in my heart that I was unable to leave.

I came back to lay down next to Sami and he offered me some of his candy pile. I ate a few pieces while watching the movie on the television. The audio was terrible and the actors were speaking a different language. There weren't any subtitles. The man was dressed and primped right out of the seventies. The woman he was arguing with was the same way. Her hair was way too blonde and a foreign boy band kept singing in the background every few minutes. Sami seemed to be enjoying this cheese-fest so I didn't argue about changing the channel.

I started to fall asleep, allowing Sami to lie down next to me and gather me into his arms. He ran his fingertips through my hair to soothe me to sleep. I began dreaming of a giant elderly tree that had come to life in a forest behind my uncle's house. The tree was running its limbs through my hair, telling me that I was beautiful but I had to be locked away for my own safety. The tree opened up his trunk and I walked into him, traveling down a long wooden path that led deep into the earth.

I woke up with a start. I was gasping for breath. I was drenched in sweat, and everything around me was dark. I felt around and I realized I was sitting on the grass and not on my bed. I looked up saw the stars and some limbs from a tree above me. I felt behind me and realized I was seated against the trunk of a tree. I was _outside_.

 _How?!_ The memory of Sami putting up the lock came back to me. I had locked the door to my room, I couldn't possibly be outside.

Then, I remembered Sheamus and Sami had used a ladder to climb through the window to the room a few nights ago. Could I have possibly used the same ladder to get outside? It seemed like the only possibility.

While piecing together how I came to be outside, I had neglected to notice that my legs were hurting. I tried to look down at them, but I couldn't see anything well enough in the dark. I reached down and touched my inner thighs, and my hand felt the sensation of a thick, cold substance.

Blood. I was bleeding.


	16. Chapter 16

16:

I started calling for help. I was hoping that someone would hear my desperation. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I realized I wasn't far from the house. I was just far enough that I doubted help would be anywhere close by. I raised my voice and continued calling out. I could feel my legs with my hands. I realized that the blood was not coming from between my legs like I had feared, but from a gash in my left leg. It didn't feel very bad, but I didn't want to take my chances by trying to walk.

"Liz?" I heard Charlotte's voice from the darkness. A flash of light went across my face and made me squint my eyes.

"Liz, what are you...oh my God! Your face!" Charlotte came rushing over to me.

I had forgotten that she hadn't been as hateful to me since the tour with Paul where I complimented her instead of being a jerk. I was confused why she would mention my face because I felt no pain there and I was more worried about my leg. I reached up to touch my face, but Charlotte got down on her knees and brought my hand away. She put down the flashlight she was holding next to me as she stated, "Don't touch it! I think it's poison ivy or something! You don't want to get it on your hands."

"Charlotte, I need help! my leg is cut," I showed her the wound.

"The guys are all in the field working the livestock tonight. Stay here and I'll go get someone," Charlotte started to leave.

"Get Dean if you can find him," I said.

She stared at me for a second longer, as if debating whether she should get Dean or not, then she took off into the darkness and I was alone, again.

"Liz? Liz, are you out there?" I heard Sami calling from the house.

I used Charlotte's flashlight and shined it toward the direction of the window to the room. Sami was leaning out of the sill and searching frantically for me. Just as I thought, the ladder was right there and I could have easily used it to get down. I was baffled as to how I could be so good at escaping while I was technically asleep.

"Sami, I'm out here!" I shouted, shining the flashlight past him three times so he could see where I was.

He squinted from the light, then he caught sight of me. Sami started to climb down the ladder to come and get me. At least someone knew where I was if Charlotte decided not to come back. I wasn't sure if I could fully trust her, yet.

"Liz! My God! I'm so sorry, I can't believe this," Sami was calling out to me while he rushed to my side.

Once he was close enough, I put the flashlight down and his eyes widened when he saw my face. I explained, "Charlotte found me, first. She said she thinks I've got poison ivy on my face or something. She's going to get help."

Sami dropped to his knees. He was still staring at my face as he countered, "Jesus, Liz! it looks like someone took sandpaper to your skin!"

His description of my face, which still didn't hurt, made me want to reach up and touch it to feel out the damage. I knew that poison ivy could be spread and I didn't want to make it worse. With tears in his eyes, Sami tried to ignore the damage as he said, "I'm sorry, Liz. The door is still locked; I didn't even think about you using the ladder to get outside and I didn't feel you let go of me to leave."

"It's okay, Sami! Don't be upset. I get away from everybody when I sleepwalk. I must be a magician during the night, I've disappeared from Dean more than once," I explained.

As if on cue, I heard Dean's voice shout in the darkness, "Liz?!"

Dean was walking quickly up to me. Kevin was by his side holding Charlotte's hand. Sami moved aside to let Dean get down on his knees for a better look. Once again, the reaction was one of horror when seeing my face. Dean shouted angrily, "What the fuck happened?!"

I explained, "I don't know. I guess I was sleepwalking again and I used the ladder by the window to get outside. I woke up and I noticed my leg was cut. I guess there's something wrong with my face but it doesn't hurt and Charlotte said it's poison ivy."

Dean kept a straight face. He replied cryptically, "It's poison alright, but not the ivy kind."

He turned to look at Kevin and Charlotte and said, "Come and look at this, Kev."

"Why? Miz can fix it up, just bring her to him," Kevin countered.

Dean gave him a frustrated look and replied, "Yeah, but you're the poison expert, so I want you to diagnose it so I can tell Miz how to fix it, you lazy fuck!"

I had never seen Dean this agitated, before. He usually scattered his f-bombs more liberally when he was around me. Kevin sighed like he was being asked to do something super inconvenient. He came over and got down on his knees next to Dean. Charlotte remained standing while she hugged herself and observed me from afar. Sami still had tears in his eyes, but I could tell he was trying to put on a brave face so Kevin didn't notice him crying. While Kevin took a look, I asked, "Is it really that bad? It doesn't even hurt."

In a dry tone, Kevin replied, "Liz, you don't want to ask a bunch of Carnies about your looks."

He was right. I could be mostly burned like Kane and the other Carnies wouldn't think twice about me.

Kevin only took a few seconds to look my face over. He touched his fingertips to my chin to lift my head a bit. His fingers smelled like animal fur. He let go and turned to Dean as he explained, "It's a flesh eater. Probably topical, since it's only in this one area."

I was starting to feel panic. _Flesh eating_ sounded like something that happens with zombies.

Kevin turned back to face me and asked, "Are you sure you don't feel any pain, Liz?"

I shook my head and replied, "Not on my face. I can feel the gash on my leg, though."

Dean looked over my leg. He took a cloth rag from his pocket to wrap it around the gash. It was just above my left knee. When Dean started touching my inner thigh to wrap the cloth around the wound, I had to focus hard not to be aroused as Kevin leaned in and continued to question me, "Did you put some lotion or ointment on your face? You should have felt a burning sensation hours ago. I'm surprised you're not doubling over by now."

The expression on Dean's face was becoming more ashen. He seemed to be distraught by the mere thought of me being in that much pain.

"I took a shower and put on some lotion before bed. I used it all over and I don't have a rash anywhere else," I mentioned.

Kevin blinked. I read from his expression that my face was much worse than a rash. It made me instinctively want to touch it, again. I reached up but Kevin pulled my hand away. He told me sternly, "Don't touch your face! Even if it starts to hurt like hell!"

The panic inside of me was rising. Dean had finished dressing my leg wound and Kevin let go of my hand. He remained serious, asking, "Liz, did you put anything on your face and wash it off? Makeup? A face mask? Did anyone else touch your face?"

When he said a mask, I thought of the day before and replied, "Stephanie painted my face. She did some makeup on me too, but the makeup was more on my lips and cheeks."

"What color was the paint she used?" Kevin asked, his voice sounding strained.

"Light blue," Dean answered for me, his voice thick.

"It had white in it, too. She mixed some white with the blue to make it lighter," I added.

Kevin murmured almost to himself, "That may explain the lack of pain..."

He leaned in a little and said to me, "Don't move, Liz."

"'Kay," I answered, and sat as still as possible.

Kevin leaned in so closely to me, I could smell the sweet scent of his breath. He must've eaten something fruity. Kevin breathed in deeply just half an inch from my left cheek. He leaned away a second later and surmised simply, "Shit."

"What? Is it bad?" I asked, trying my best not to sound too upset.

"You've gotta get her to Miz," Kevin said to Dean.

I tried to get to my feet, but Dean interrupted me when he brought his arms underneath my knees and halfway down my back. He picked me up himself to carry me.

 _God, he was strong._

We all followed Kevin back into the house and upstairs. We reached Miz's room. It must've been the early morning hours, because the whole house was dark and there was almost no sound around us at all. Kevin knocked on Miz's door. Kevin opened it and went into the darkness. He closed the door behind him. There were some murmurs from inside the room, then Kevin came back out and started walking down the hallway. Dean called to him, "Where the fuck are you going?"

"I still have work to do. Miz said to bring Liz back to your room and he'll tend to her there," Kevin countered briskly, then he went around a corner. Charlotte followed after him.

"Dean? What's the trouble?" I heard Naomi's voice call from a few doors down.

"Liz is hurt, but Miz is going to help her," Dean explained quickly.

"Oh my! I'll be right out to help too," Naomi said.

Dean didn't wait for her, but started down the hallway back to our room with Sami following behind us. We all stopped on the ramp when we realized that the door was still locked. Dean had to wait for a couple of minutes with me still in his arms for Sami to rush back outside so he could use the ladder to get back into our room and unlock the door. During our wait, I gazed into Dean's eyes and he stared right back at me. I asked him, "Dean, would you do anything for me?"

"No doubt," he answered thickly.

"Will you promise me that you won't hurt Stephanie over this? She's Bray's mom and he's my friend. Kane wasn't a bad person to me and I don't want him to witness something awful happen to Stephanie. He seems really sensitive. I don't think Kane or Finn have anyone else to look after them," I said.

He didn't answer me, but he kept his eyes locked with mine. It was nice to know he wasn't completely appalled by whatever was happening to my face.

Once Sami unlocked the door, Dean brought me inside and to my bed. He very carefully laid me down. I couldn't believe how long he had held onto me without showing any sign of strain. After he had put me down, he took a seat on his own bed, still gazing at me intently. Sami sat next to Dean and waited until Miz and Naomi came in a minute or so later. Miz came to sit at my bedside with a bag full of oddly smelling vials. When Naomi caught sight of me, she gasped and put her hands over her mouth to stifle a scream. It didn't help my sense of panic over what was going on.

Miz began pulling out some of his vials while Naomi sat down on the floor on the other side of my bed. She was tall enough that she could still easily see me from her seat on the floor. I had to move my head so that I could no longer keep eye contact with Dean while Miz looked me over. Without being able to see Dean anymore, the panic continued to rise within me. Miz told me softly, "Do not fret, Liz. Panicking will only make things worse."

His soothing voice seemed to calm my fears more than I thought it would. I looked at Naomi while she stroked my hair with her large palm. She told me, "Everything is alright, sugar. Miz will fix you up in no time."

Miz hadn't started working on my face, yet. A strange tingling began forming on my left cheek. At first, I mistook it for blanching because it burned a little. I said aloud, "Miz? My cheek is getting hot."

Again, my instinct told me to touch my face. I reached up, but Miz gently took hold of my wrist before I did and said, "Don't touch anything, Liz."

He still sounded calm, but I was beginning to feel worse. The gash in my leg was all but forgotten. My face began to go from blanching to an itchy burning feeling in a matter of seconds. Like Sami had said, it felt like someone had rubbed the left side of my face with sandpaper.

"Dean, I need you to take Liz's hands in your own so she does not touch her face," Miz instructed.

I could hear Dean coming over to Naomi's side. The thought of him having to keep my hands away made me frustrated. I argued, "I can keep my hands down! Dean doesn't have to hold them!"

"It's just a precaution. You naturally want to touch your face, and I don't want you to get anything on your hands," Miz replied airily.

Something about the way he spoke made me feel more at ease. I couldn't tell how Miz did it, but his always calm demeanor made me want to be calm as well. Dean sat down beside me and carefully took my hands into his own. He kept a strong grip while rubbing my palms and fingers with his own as if he were just promoting a loving gesture and not trying to hold me down. This contributed to my sense of ease. Even though my face was getting more and more hot, I knew that I had to stay calm, if not for myself then for my baby.

Miz began dabbing my face with a cotton cloth drenched in a sweet smelling oil. The burning on my face began to subside. It still hurt a lot and I mumbled a few choice words and made a few weird sounds. I kicked my feet when Dean wouldn't allow me to touch my face with my hands. Finally, the pain was brought down to a tolerable heat. Sami gave Naomi a damp cloth to wipe the sweat away from the better part of my face, as well as on the exposed part of my neck and arms.

Dean kept his concerned eyes on me the whole time, never looking away and never arguing. When I grew tired and he let go of my hands, I could see that I had dug my nails into his right palm and he was bleeding a little. He said nothing about it. Miz dabbed my face with another cloth and the heat disappeared until I had little feeling at all on the damaged side of my face. Miz placed another gauze-like cloth there and pressed it down gently so that it stuck to the left side of my face. A small hole was cut out so that I could still see with my left eye. The oils Miz used had put me in a trance-like state. I was exhausted and felt the need to sleep.

Just before slipping away, I asked, "I don't mean to sound offensive, but will I be a freak, now?"

I closed my eyes and there was a moment of silence. I heard Dean's voice as he leaned into me and whispered, "I love you no matter what you look like, Liz."

"I love you, Dean," I murmured, then I fell asleep.

 _I dreamed that I was sliding down a ladder and Charlotte was dancing around with poison ivy in her arms. Sami was rubbing plastic mannequin faces with sandpaper and Kevin was trying to sniff me._


	17. Chapter 17

17:

I woke up the next morning to the sound of laughter.

I didn't open my eyes right away to discover the source of the laughter. Last night's memories were fuzzy, so I laid there a while to try and remember what happened. I felt someone lying next to me and holding me in his arms. He wasn't soft enough to be Dean. I kept my eyes closed and let the world around me continue to move on while last night formed it's way into my mind.

"Baby, I like the way you dance," I heard Kevin's voice teasing from somewhere in the room.

The laughter came back again. It was light and airy and sort of seductive. It had to be _Charlotte_.

"Would you stop swinging so close to me? I'm trying perfect my _wavy_ hair," Dean scolded, probably from the vanity.

The male holding me moved his arm from my elbow to my shoulder. He was so deliberate about it that he had to be awake. I finally opened my eyes just as Charlotte giggled once more. I was lying on my side. When I glanced up, I saw that it was Sami lying next to me. I could barely see over him to notice that Charlotte was standing by Dean at the vanity. Charlotte was holding up two large feathered fans that she was using provocatively in front of her while her frame swayed from side to side. She was swaying near Dean, but he wasn't paying much attention to her. Her focus seemed to be on Dean's bed, where I assumed Kevin was but I couldn't see him over Sami.

"Hey, Sami," I mumbled.

He smiled and watched me. I could feel the gauze on my face from where Miz had placed it the night before. There was something else on top of the gauze that I couldn't comprehend. I reached up to touch it and I felt a plastic mask with some soft feathers on it attached to the left side of my face. Sami explained quickly, "I made you a pretty mask to wear over your bandage until your face heals."

 _Sami was so damn cute, I wanted to cry for him._

Dean came to my other side so quickly, I hadn't realized he had moved from the vanity until he was touching me. He asked with concern, "Are you in pain, Liz?"

I was halfway lifting myself while Dean helped me the rest of the way until I was in a seated position on my bed. I glanced over and saw Kevin lying in Dean's bed. He was looking back at me with mild interest. Charlotte had stopped dancing to look as well. They couldn't see my face behind the mask and the gauze, but it felt like everyone in the room could sense the damage and they pitied that I had to bear it.

Remarkably, my face didn't hurt that much, but something else did. I relayed to Dean, "My head hurts a lot."

"I'll get you some breakfast and I'll bring it to you with some painkillers so you can eat after your shower," Dean said, helping me to my feet. He planted a surprising kiss on my lips that lasted several seconds.

I kept my eyes on Dean when he pulled away. I was certain that Charlotte and Kevin would react to his affection towards me. As predicted, Kevin did say something, but it was joking instead of harsh, "Awwww, could I give her a smooch, too?"

My face turned bright red and I looked away. Thankfully, my embarrassment was mostly hidden behind the mask and gauze. The rush of blood made the left side of my face burn. I didn't answer Kevin with a crack of my own. I ignored him and wandered over to my dresser to grab the clothes I needed for a shower. I heard Kevin chuckle at his own joke and I wondered if Dean was giving him a spiteful look for it.

"God, you are such a dog," Charlotte took a stab at Kevin for the remark.

"What? I'm Dean's brother. It's like, a rule or something that brothers always get a piece of one another's action," Kevin surmised, his tone sarcastic.

"Shut it, Kev," Dean warned, returning to the vanity.

"Well if bros get a piece, then Dean should get a piece of _me._ Wouldn't that be right?" Charlotte countered, trying to get a rise out of Kevin.

"No! You don't count because Dean doesn't want you! Ha!" Kevin returned mockingly.

I had finished grabbing my clothes and I was heading toward the bathroom, intent on getting away from the situation before it turned really sour. Charlotte shot back, "Fine! If I'm getting short-changed by one brother, I'll take _his_ piece! The rules didn't say only the brothers can switch out!"

Before I had figured out what she was getting at, Charlotte grabbed me by the arm as I passed her and she suddenly mashed her lips against my own before I could object. I let my clothes drop to the floor and I pushed on Charlotte to get away from her, but she had taken my lower lip between her teeth to try and hold me. When I shoved her away, my lower lip split near the corner and I grabbed it as it bled a little. Charlotte started laughing like it was hysterical.

Dean was between us in a split second. He took hold of Charlotte's arm and strongly shoved her so that she fell onto his bed. He pointed at her and warned, "DON'T FUCK AROUND LIKE THAT!"

Kevin didn't react to Dean's aggression with Charlotte. Kevin just kept watching me with a wry smile like the whole situation was turning him on. His eyes were so penetrating with dirty fantasies, I was forced to look away. Sami had gotten up from my bed and he leaned down to pick up my clothes for me while Dean scolded Charlotte, "Don't play around with people who don't understand your damage!"

Sami got back to his feet and handed me my clothes. I thanked him quietly. Charlotte grabbed her arm where Dean had taken hold of her and held it while she looked up at him with her lip in a pout and her eyes _ablaze_. She looked like she didn't care that his attention was bordering on abusive. She only wanted more. Kevin suddenly laughed and sat up more so that his butt was on Dean's pillow, then he said, "Dean's right, Char. Don't be a bitch."

Charlotte turned to glare at Kevin. Kevin turned to the side and let out a loud and disgusting expulsion of gas directly onto Dean's pillow. Dean narrowed his eyes at Kevin and said, "I fucking hate you."

Kevin lifted his shoulders in mock denial, saying, "What? I'm leaving a mint on your pillow!"

I rushed into the bathroom before I could witness more debauchery.

:-:

I took my time in the shower, being careful not to let the water run onto the damaged side of my face. Of course a few drops slipped underneath the gauze, and it stung badly every time. When I finished, I stepped out and did the usual ritual of things. I took extra care not to look at the mirror much to see my partially bandaged face looking back at me. I put on a pretty yellow dress and put my long brunette hair up in a loose tie so I didn't have to deal with it. When I finished, I stopped avoiding the issue and stared into the mirror.

The gauze was stained with oils that still smelled sweet, but it was also stained with spots of blood. There were about some depressions in the gauze, probably where my skin had been most prone to the poison. I began to imagine what she would say to me if she could see my face, right now. I wondered if my skin would be damaged permanently after this. Miz seemed to be a great healer, so I doubted I would be disfigured. It was still a haunting experience that I would never forget.

I could almost see Stephanie staring back at me through the mirror, using her sadistic smile while she said with mock pity, "Oh, how sad! How awful! Hefram's young little knocked up baby girl looks so disparaged and insufferable! However will she make it in the real world? Her first day of school will be so intolerable while she wears a carnival mask to hide her shame from others! Guess she should think twice before leaving her dear, sweet, _disgusting_ uncle's side to wander out on her own!"

Very suddenly, the liquid contents of my stomach came up. I leaned into the sink to let out the sickness that I felt over Stephanie's imaginary wickedness. I must've been loud enough to notice because I heard a soft knock at the door and Dean asked from the other side, "You alright, Liz?"

I wanted to say no so Dean would come in and hold me, but if his evil brother and the bearded lady were still in the room harassing him, I didn't want to give them more entertainment.

"I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." 

There was a long pause, from which I gathered that Dean probably didn't believe me and he was debating on whether to come in anyway or not.

He finally answered, "Alright. Your breakfast is out here when you're ready."

I didn't want to spend anymore time thinking about Stephanie or what had happened to me. I organized the bathroom a little for another minute so I didn't seem too obvious. I put the smooth plastic purple mask with blue feathers Sami had made for me back on my face over the gauze and opened the door to ease my way back out. Observing the room, I noticed that fortunately Kevin and Charlotte were gone. Dean was in the middle of the room standing on a blanket with no clothes on while Sami was clipping Dean's body hair with a small pair of scissors and a thin comb. Sheamus, who was missing before, was now sitting on Dean's bed. Sheamus was holding a sleeping baby chimp in his arms. Sheamus smiled when he saw me.

Feeling more confident now that Kevin and Charlotte were gone, I breathed a sigh of relief when Dean looked me over with intrigue and mentioned, "Liz, you look _sweet_."

Sami had even stopped to gaze at me. I knew the yellow dress I had bought with Tamina my second day here would be a knockout.

"Thanks," I mumbled, then I pointed at Sheamus' new animal and asked, "Is that a baby chimp?"

"Aye. 'is name is Gus," Sheamus answered me.

I wanted to go over and take a better look at him, but Dean warned me, "Don't pet animals before you eat breakfast, Liz. It's not sanitary."

I would have defied him, but I knew he was right. I saw a plate of food on the vanity and went over to eat it while Sheamus bickered with Dean, "She tawches you, an' yer sayin' the ape isn' clean?!"

Dean pointed at Sheamus and threatened jokingly, "You're lucky I'm occupied right now, or I'd punch that smart Irish gob of yours."

I ate what I could, but it wasn't much. The food seemed to have no taste, and I was right in front of the vanity mirror where I could see my reflection. I couldn't help imagining what my reflection would be without the mask and gauze. I took the painkillers that were left beside the plate and turned to watch Sheamus with the sleeping chimp. The baby chimp had a diaper on and he was lying against Sheamus' chest. I wondered if Dean looked similar as a baby with all of his hair. The chimp looked absolutely adorable to me. I was convinced Dean was just as cute.

Sheamus observed Sami working tirelessly to give Dean an all body haircut. I noticed Sheamus had a longing in his eyes when he watched Sami, and I wondered if they hadn't been together intimately since Sami was hurt. From what I could gather in Sheamus' gaze, he was trying to let Sami heal, no matter how much he wanted him.

"Why aren't you eating, Liz?" Dean asked me suddenly, taking me out of my thoughts.

"I'm not very hungry," I answered.

Dean opened his mouth to argue with me, but I asked him a question instead, "Does Uncle Trumbly know what happened to me?"

Clenching his jaw, Dean was obviously aggravated that I had interrupted him to avoid the issue. He eased up and answered me after only a few seconds, "He's coming up with Bray in a little while to ask you more questions."

My stomach started to tighten again when I thought of Bray. I had tried to be his friend and I assumed he liked me enough to call me a friend as well, but after he saw me kiss AJ at my birthday party, Bray had said little besides voice his opinion that he didn't like it. I had barely seen him until I discovered that his own adoptive mother was to blame for my kidnapping and my facial destruction. I asked Dean, "Bray isn't going to be punished as well for what happened to me, is he?"

It seemed like I could never second guess the disciplinary system of the Carnies, so I asked to be perfectly sure. Dean kept a straight face that showed no sign of deception as he answered, "Only if he's found to be involved, somehow. So far, he's doing everything he can to cooperate."

Dean's words made it sound like Bray was a suspect in a heinous crime. I argued with him, "Bray is my friend! I may not know him as well as you guys do, but I know enough and he would never let me get hurt like that!"

Sami and Sheamus were glancing between both Dean and I, unsure of what would happen next. Dean continued to keep his composure, something he seemed to do best with me but he rarely portrayed around anyone else as he replied, "We understand that you are going through a hard time right now, Liz, but you have to let us put the pieces together to find the truth. Bray is a good man, but this is his _family._ He very well could have seen them take you and decided to keep his mouth shut."

I wanted to argue with him, but there was no way I could defend Bray. I was sleepwalking when Finn took me. I had no memory of seeing Bray while awake, but he could have been there at any time while I was asleep on the floor. I stood up and started for the door in frustration, saying, "I'm going for a walk."

"Liz," Dean started, but I said before I left completely, "I'll be sure to stay near the house!"

Once downstairs, I couldn't help feeling like I was surrounded by the hungry eyes of the other Carnies who passed me by. Some were penetrating, like they were judging me for ratting out Bray's family, while others were curious about what it looked like under my mask.

I decided not to go outside. I turned off down the hallway to look for Uncle Trumbly's office, instead. If he wanted to see me, then I should go to him and get the situation cleared up. I found his office door and I opened it. My goal faded when I came in and realized no one was there.

Instead of leaving, I closed the door behind me and went over to the four couches. I sat down on the one closest to Uncle Trumbly's desk so I could have a moment to myself. My mind raced with ideas about what I could say or do to make Dean and Uncle Trumbly and everyone else understand. How could I make this situation turn out alright? How could I get the right people to be judged without making the other Carnies hate me for it? How had this gotten so out of control in the first place?

I wanted to talk to someone. I needed a friend. A confidant who knew me well. Someone who I could profess my feelings and thoughts to who would give me positive and constructive feedback. Someone who would be there for me and who would have my back no matter what. Someone who could be a neutral party and who wouldn't let their own feelings get in the way of what I needed to hear.

The only person who had ever done that for me was _Seth_.

I glanced at Uncle Trumbly's desk. There was a cell phone on a stack of papers. I remembered the phone number Seth's grandfather had put in the letter. All I would need to do was call and ask for Seth to come and visit and he would be here. I could talk to him and tell him all the things I had wanted to say since he moved away. He would help me with the problems I was having and he would help me to make sense of it all.

Before I had really thought it through, I picked up the phone. I was surprised to find that it worked and it was unlocked. I called the number.

It rang several times. I heard the answering machine pick up and an old man's voice said, "This is Grandpa. Leave a message."

 _He must not get many calls outside of family._

The line beeped. I was suddenly wrought with fear. _What was I supposed to say? How could I explain myself? Why was I calling Seth and messing with his happiness just because mine was all screwed up?_

"Um...hi...this is uh...Liz...Elizabeth...uh...Chapfield..."

I took a deep breath and tried to get it out, "I just wanted to...um...talk to Seth...um...Seth, I'm living with my Uncle Trumbly...I got your letter...um...my uncle, he's not like my dad, he's nice...I'm in Tennessee and the baby is fine..."

I gave him the address of where I was. I felt horribly awkward, like Seth's grandpa would hear my message and erase it because he thought it was a sick joke. I tried to remain business like and get out everything that I thought was relevant, "I just...I've only been here a few weeks and I'm kind of an outcast and I need a friend...um...I know you're busy but I just wondered if it would be alright if you came to see me for, you know...like a short trip or something...before the baby's born. I would like to have you there when he... _it_...is born, if you want...um...I'm just having a rough time with some things and there was a small accident here and my face is um...anyway, the baby's fine and I'm fine, I just..."

I was beginning to feel like an idiot. I wanted to go back in time and hang up before I left this stupid message that Seth's poor grandfather was going to have to listen to and try to communicate the details of. Before hanging up, I concluded with, "Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called. I mean, I want you to be there for the baby, but that doesn't mean you should be worrying about me, or us. Just call me sometime when you get the chance, and don't worry about making a trip, I'm fine. Everything's fine."

After saying good-bye and hanging up the phone, I knew Seth would be booking a flight as soon as he got the message from his grandpa. He never believed me when I said that anything was _fine_. He knew better than that. I not only felt even worse than I had when I came in here, but I had just called poor Seth to come and witness the horror that was my face and the shock that was my new family. I hoped I would get lucky and Seth's grandpa would forget to relay the message.

I got up to walk out when the door suddenly opened. I panicked and crouched behind one of the couches to keep out of sight. I saw a young man in coveralls getting shoved into the room. I instantly recognized from his burn scars that it was Kane. I could see Bray's powerful arms holding onto Kane to keep him from leaving. Bray told him, "Just stay here for a few minutes, alright?"

Bray shoved Kane down so he fell to the floor and Bray shut the door to the room. Kane got up and slammed his entire body against the door. He banged on it with his fists and shouted, "Don't hurt Ma, Bray!"

His cries went unheard. Kane stopped banging and turned around to slide down to the floor. He looked disheveled and exhausted. I wanted to burst into tears from where I was, thinking about Kane's life being turned upside down because of _me_.

He perked up suddenly. Kane took in a deep breath. He looked around curiously and said, "I know y'all are in here. I can smell you."

I didn't answer him. Kane stepped forward, adding darkly, "I know someone is in here. I can smell Miz's oils all over. They're the same he used for me when I got burned."

I knew I couldn't hide from him. I slowly came out from where I was behind the couch, bracing for the worst. Kane caught sight of me and froze, his jaw grinding so loudly it made me cringe. I waited for him to start first, hoping he would cuss me out or scream at me or do anything that wasn't physical. Instead, he pointed at my mask and asked thickly, "Your face got burned?"

I nodded and answered quietly, "Yeah."

He nodded as if he understood more than just my answer. His eyes drifted to the floor and he replied, "There's no pain like the _burn_."

"I'm sorry your mom is in trouble," I offered sympathetically.

Kane shifted anxiously and replied, "I'm sorry she scared you. Momma gets so angry with Trumbly sometimes. She forgets her manners."

After several seconds in silence, I asked, "Is the door locked?"

Kane turned the knob and answered sadly, "Yeah."

"You want to sit down for a while?" I asked.

He nodded. I walked slowly over to one of the couches and sat down. Kane took the space next to me. He stared at me for a long while without speaking. Then, Kane asked unexpectedly, "Is Dean your _bed-mate_?"

I had never heard it put like that, before. I was shocked by the question and I wondered how Kane would even know about it. Kane looked away quickly like he thought I as angry with him. I replied, "I guess we are."

When I answered, Kane loosened up more and said, "That's nice. Dean used to come over and see us a lot. It was a long time, before. He was real mean and angry all the time. He and Momma were bed-mates for a while. Momma said Dean was no good for her. She said he liked the pain she gave him, but she wanted to hurt him too much. She said she almost killed him a few times."

I swallowed hard. My insides turned over. My hands gripped the couch pillow.

 _Dean had sex with Stephanie._

The door burst open again and I jumped so fast to my feet that I had a major head rush and nearly fell backwards. Kane also rose to his feet as Bray and Trumbly came in. Both of them stopped cold when they realized that I was in the room as well. Bray shouted loudly, "Shit, Liz! You were in here?"

"I was looking for..." I started, but Uncle Trumbly cut me off. He rushed over to me and grabbed my arm as he explained shortly, "Get out of here, Liz! This is business!"

He pulled me quickly out into the hallway, then he let me go and disappeared back into his office, slamming the door and leaving me behind. I was so angry that I screamed with aggravation and stormed my way back upstairs, ignoring the curious onlookers that watched me as they did, before.

I didn't want to see Dean right then, so I turned off and walked into Naomi's room. She was seated in front of four large box fans running medium blast while she was crocheting something in a blue and pink pattern. Startled by my entrance, Naomi tried to hide her work as if she didn't want me to see it. She smiled and asked, "Well, Miss Liz, what a pleasant..."

She saw my expression and the tears that were beginning to stream down my face. Naomi let the crochet work drop to the floor. She held out her arms to me and asked, "What's the matter, sugar?"

I walked into her embrace and let her hold me close, saying the only thing that I could think of to sum up exactly what this day felt like, "Everything _burns_."


	18. Chapter 18

18:

Naomi stroked my hair and I stayed in her arms for a long time before my anger turned into exhaustion and I closed my eyes to sleep. She let me settle beside her with my head on her abdomen. I could hear her heart beating like a soft drum. It helped to calm me into a deep sleep.

 _I could see Bray, Dean, Seth, and Kane standing ahead of me. They had their backs turned to me and when I called out, they wouldn't turn around. Uncle Trumbly was even farther away. I cried out for him, but he also did not turn around. It was dark and creepy and I didn't like not being able to see the faces of the others. I shouted more loudly, "Why aren't you listening to me?! Dean?! Uncle Trumbly?!Listen! LISTEN!"_

 _My voice was so loud. My ears started ringing, but no one would turn to face me. I decided I would go to them. I was trying to walk, but I was moving so slowly. Every time I thought I was close enough to reach out and touch them, the men would suddenly be further away. I heard Miz ask from somehwere behind me, "Elizabeth? Where are you going?"_

 _I turned back and saw Miz. He was looking at me with his usual passive gaze, a short smile spread across his lips. I explained to him, "I have to find someone."_

" _Whom?" Miz asked, lifting a brow with mild curiosity._

 _I answered him, "I don't remember."_

" _Could you read it to me? Such as in a book?" Miz asked, then he pointed to my palms._

 _I looked down and saw an open book with empty pages in my hands. I stared at the pages a while before I answered him, "There aren't any words. I can't read the book if there aren't any words."_

 _Miz turned his attention to his left. A dark shadow of a male appeared. I saw the figure and suddenly felt the need to run. Miz lifted his hand for me to wait and asked, "Elizabeth, who is this man?"_

 _I assumed it was a stranger until Miz asked me who they were. My voice sounded childish as I answered, "He went to my church when I was little."_

 _Miz nodded and asked quietly, "May I see his face?"_

 _I became very anxious and said, "My stomach hurts."_

" _Elizabeth?" Miz asked._

 _I repeated, "My stomach hurts."_

 _Miz put his hands on either side of my head and said gently, "Elizabeth, wake up."_

I opened my eyes and gasped. I was lying down and I searched my surroundings to find that I was back in my room, upstairs. I could see the sun going down through the windows. It looked like hours had passed since I fell asleep next to Naomi. Miz was seated next to me with his hands on my head like he was in the dream. He let go and asked me with a kind smile, "How do you feel?"

I started to sit up. I glanced over and saw Dean sitting at the side of his bed. He was resting his elbows on his knees while he watched me with his usual sense of intense concern. I immediately remembered what Kane had revealed to me about Dean and Stephanie. It made me feel sick, so I focused on Miz. I answered him, "I'm confused. Why am I up here? I was with Naomi."

"You were sleepwalking. Dean led you back up to your room. You appeared to be struggling in your sleep. I came to help you gradually awaken so you would not be startled," Miz explained calmly.

My efforts to sit up weren't working so well. I settled back against the pillows. I realized that my face was exposed and the mask and gauze were gone. I started to reach up to touch it, asking, "Where is my bandage?"

Miz gently took my hand before I had reached my face and picked up another cloth from somewhere on my bed. It was fresh and already spread with oils. He placed it neatly onto my face before I could feel the damage. Miz said, "I wanted to replace your bandage for another night. We should leave it on as long as we can until you are healed."

I could see that Miz and Dean were acting strangely. Miz was usually calm, but he seemed almost too composed. Dean wasn't being his usual drill sergeant self, and he hadn't argued with me about why I was in Naomi's room. I glanced at both of them and I began to wonder if I had said things aloud while sleepwalking. Had I said aloud that I knew about Dean and Stephanie? Had I said something bad while sleepwalking? Why was Miz talking to me so gently?"

I could remember fragments of my dream. I could remember the man in shadow, but I thought it was nothing. Miz sat up and began to leave, saying, "You two might want to be up early, tomorrow."

"Hmm?" Dean questioned, but Miz closed the door without answering him.

"Did I do something wrong this time?" I asked when Miz was gone.

Dean made his way to the door and locked it. He came back to the beds and turned off the light. He came to my bed and laid down beside me. He held me in his arms and said, "No, Liz, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Why do you keep me in the dark all the time?! You're not protecting me when you say nothing happened so I don't know what's going on!" I argued.

Dean suddenly leaned in and parted my lips with his own. The warmth of his tongue and the tingling I felt from his touch made me forget that I was angry with him. He was being very careful; almost sympathetic as he kissed my mouth and moved down to my neck. He lifted my dress and kissed my chest. He continued to move down. He touched me everywhere he could, like last time but with a little more desperation, as if he thought I would fall away from him. He took more care around my belly as he made tender kisses around it.

He pulled down my underwear. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach from his touch. He brought my legs over his shoulders and he started kissing the pink orange seed between my legs. No one had ever kissed me there, before. I was surprised to find that it was warm and wet and inviting. I rubbed my feet across Dean's back, feeling the softness of his body hair between my toes. He brought his tongue out and licked the pink orange seed. I gasped in surprise by the strong response it made. Dean rolled his tongue around in odd ways. It only served to stimulate the pink orange seed even further.

My cheeks felt hot. I squeezed the blankets. Dean reached up and took my hands. I squeezed his fingers to let him know I enjoyed what he was doing. The room was humid and I could feel sweat building between my thighs. I felt some embarrassment, but Dean didn't seem to mind it. He kissed the sweat and lapped it up with his tongue. He only gave the pink orange seed a moment to rest before he turned his attention back to it.

This form of stimulation was a lot stronger than I was used to. I could hear myself moaning. I wanted to stop, thinking that Charlotte and Kevin would make fun of me if they overheard, but I couldn't help it.

It was dark and I couldn't see Dean very well. I could hear him unhooking his coveralls. I heard them drop to the floor along with the two thuds of his working boots. When he started to rise back up to me again, he brought his fingers underneath my dress and took it with him until it was over my head, then he let it drop to the floor. He unhooked my bra from the front and lifted me up so I could get it off.

We made love in the missionary position. This was the same way I did it with Seth, but it was completely different with Dean. He held my wrists down above my head. He kissed me several times. His body hair brushed up against my front, creating ticklish tingles across my skin every time he made a thrust. Dean groaned and made low growls. He was a little more aggressive this time, which only made me more excited. I couldn't help saying his name aloud several times as the sensation from within became more and more arousing.

I didn't want it to end, but I was having trouble keeping it in. Dean had already done so much with his tongue that it didn't take long for me to feel the effects.

I reached my climax. I felt Dean pull out instead of continuing for his own. I asked him in confusion, "What are you doing?"

"Don't worry about it, Liz. I'm done," Dean said thickly.

"No, you didn't come!" I argued.

Dean sounded annoyed as he replied, "You think I need to squirt to show you I had a good time? Liz, you don't know what you do to me."

I didn't understand. Dean explained more softly, "It is amazing that I can even get this far with you. In the past, it took a lot for me to be excited enough to put it in. Just thinking about you _stimulates_ me. Sheamus made me go and jerk off by myself the other day because I got a stiffy saying your name while I was out in the yard. He thinks I'm going to get my goods smashed up if I don't stop thinking about you when we're doing heavy lifting."

I giggled and asked, "You really jerk off to me?"

"Yeah...so?" Dean asked, intrigued.

I flushed a little and answered, "The girls at school used to think that a guy jerking off to them was a sign they were wanted. I didn't think I was pretty enough to have a guy jerk off to me."

Dean sighed gruffly like I was not giving myself enough credit. I asked him, "Is there anything I can do for you? You know, to help you along?"

Dean chuckled and answered sarcastically, "Yeah, you can grab it and squeeze."

I took hold of his shaft and squeezed.

Dean cried out as he grabbed my wrist while I was still holding him. He was gripping my wrist so tightly, I reacted by squeezing more tightly. Dean jerked forward and his cum came down my fingers and dripped onto my abdomen. Dean used his other hand and grabbed my blanket. He tore it open with one quick jerk of his arm. Dean sat back, then he sucked in another breath and jerked forward again. It looked like he was releasing a second time, though I didn't feel anything seep out this time.

I let go of him, startled by what was happening. I held my breath, thinking that I had hurt him or something. Dean suddenly grabbed me with both of his hands and he rolled me over on my stomach. He pinned my wrists down and he held me in place with his body weight.

His breath was hot and fast against my ear. It would have been stimulating, but I had the distinct feeling in the pit of my stomach that Dean was losing his sense of self-control.

"Dean?" I asked quietly.

He clenched my wrists even harder. It was becoming painful. I struggled to get out of his grip but he wasn't loosening up.

"Dean, you're hurting me," I told him.

Instantly, his grip lessened around my wrists. Very slowly, he lifted himself just enough so that I could move more comfortably. My panic subsided. I breathed, "That's better. Thank you."

He got up so quickly, I hadn't realized he was moving until the door opened. I sat up and asked, "Dean? Where are you going?"

He didn't answer me. He left the room and slammed the door behind him.

:-:

I thought Dean just needed a minute to himself. I waited for a while, thinking he would return soon. The night grew a little colder, and I wrapped myself up in my blanket. I didn't bother to put my clothes back on because I wanted to stay nude for Dean's embrace when he came back. When he didn't, I began to worry that he was taking the situation way too seriously. I didn't think it was a big deal. He had let up as soon as he knew I was uncomfortable. He didn't hurt me. I still wasn't totally sure if I had hurt him.

After waiting for a long time, I got tired and drifted off to sleep. My dreams were not as vivid as usual. I slept a lot longer and more soundly than I had in a long time. When I opened my eyes, I saw the sun high in the sky outside the window. I found myself still in my bed and I thought I must be dreaming.

I saw a figure sitting at the edge of my bed. I glanced down to see Seth sitting there. He looked almost the same as I remembered him. His hair was longer and curly. He was wearing a blue button up shirt that revealed his forearms. He looked like he had been working out and getting more sun. His blue jeans looked clean. His glasses were gone and his brown eyes were bright as he looked at me and smiled.

"Hey Lizzy," Seth said, his voice a few octaves deeper than it used to be.

"Hi," I replied, still believing I was asleep.

I started to sit up, not realizing until my blanket fell away that I was still naked. Seth came around beside me to help me up. He glanced down at my belly and said, "Wow, you've really grown at six months!"

"Oh, Seth! I forgot about my clothes! I'm so embarrassed!" I struggled to pull the blanket back around me.

He took the edge of my blanket where Dean had torn it. Seth acknowledged the tear with a lifted eyebrow, then he helped me wrap the blanket around myself so he could only see me from the shoulders up. He smiled and said, "Don't worry about it, Lizzy. I've seen you before, remember? Besides, I'm going to be a father, soon. That means no more giggling at girly parts."

I laughed, but I was still mortified. Seth changed the subject, pointing to the gauze on my face as he asked, "What happened?"

I had to think fast to come up with a story that stretched the truth a little as I explained, "There was an accident...I got some poison on my face and I have to leave this gauze with special oils on it until it heals."

"Poison?! Jesus Christ!" Seth leaned in to inspect it.

"I'm okay! Really! It's not that bad! I didn't get it anywhere else and the baby wasn't hurt," I answered.

Seth leaned back to look at me better. His face was full of concern and I could tell he wanted to see for himself how bad it was. He told me, "I still care about what happens to you too, you know. You're not only my Baby Momma but you are also still my best friend."

I started to blush. It was weird, seeing Seth all grown up and handsome compared to the awkward, skinny Momma's boy he was when I saw him, last. I looked up at him again and his eyes locked with mine. I asked the obvious so I didn't seem so awkward, "Where are your glasses?"

"Contacts," he answered easily, ruining my chance to get a conversation going.

I tried again, "Uncle Trumbly knows you're here?"

"Yeah. He's freakishly tall like your dad. You're right, though, he's nice. A little pessimistic with some shrew-like tendencies, but he's nice," Seth commented.

I smiled and laughed a little. Seth pointed out, "How come you're so short if your family is so tall? You take after Abbey or something?"

Seth had no way of knowing that Marlyn was my real mother. I decided not to tell him because I didn't want things to get awkward, again. I answered simply, "Yeah, I guess so."

He chuckled. Seth had a contagious chuckle that made everyone around him feel lighter, including me. It was nice to hear him, again.

The door flew open suddenly and Dean came in. He was wearing unhooked coveralls that were riding his hips. Dean looked sweaty and disheveled like he had come in from working hard outside. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me covered only by a blanket. Dean gave Seth a deathly glare and stated harshly, "You could have let her get dressed before you came in."

Seth stood up and shoved his hands into his pockets. Seth swallowed hard and started backing up towards the door as he said, "You're right, man. I should've left the room as soon as she woke up. My mistake. Sorry, Lizzy."

"It's no problem!" I argued.

Dean turned to me and opened his mouth to counter-attack, but Charlotte burst through the door. She uncharacteristically breezed past Dean like he wasn't even there. Kevin came into the room following casually behind her. Kevin stood next to Dean while Charlotte jumped onto my bed and held up a turquoise dress with gold lining in front of her. She told me in a delusional-happy way, "I got this dress for you!"

I blinked with surprise. Charlotte was being somewhat nicer to me lately, but this seemed like a big joke. Charlotte glanced at Seth and then focused on me again, and her intentions were more clear: She was trying to show off to Seth.

"Oh, how nice of you, Charlotte," I smiled, playing along.

I knew that Seth was far more perceptive than people gave him credit for. He had probably met Charlotte and Kevin and figured out their game. I still played along so Charlotte didn't go into a raging fit. She smiled and made this cute, feminine giggle that contrasted her sweet smelling beard. Kevin snorted and put his arm over Dean's shoulder. Dean folded his arms and stared at Charlotte with aggravation. Seth did his best to act as neutral as possible.

"You're going to wear it, right?" Charlotte asked, tossing the dress at me.

"Is it a maternity dress?" I asked, searching for the tag.

I shouldn't have said anything. Charlotte suddenly let her face drop and asked more darkly, "Why?! Do you only accept clothes that are that name brand?!"

Kevin busted out laughing and Charlotte turned around to give him an angry glare. Dean explained it to her, "Maternity are clothes for pregnant women."

Charlotte's expression was halfway between confused and distraught. She mumbled sheepishly, "Oh."

I finally found the tag and checked the size. I told her happily, "Don't worry, this should be big enough! It's two sizes larger than what I normally wear!"

Charlotte's expression turned dark again and she retorted, "That's _my_ size. Are you saying I'm as big as a woman who is six months pregnant?!"

I clutched the dress and swallowed hard. Thankfully, Kevin distracted Charlotte by saying, "I'm hungry, let's go get some lunch."

Charlotte hopped back off of the bed and ran out the door with Kevin taking his time behind her. Seth waited until they were gone before he looked back at me and smiled. He said quietly, "I'll wait for you, downstairs. There's a kid named Sami who has been showing me around. I'll hang out with him until you're ready."

"Sami's my friend! He's the best person you can wait with," I replied.

Seth was still smiling as he walked over to give me a light kiss on the forehead. Dean grunted loudly and Seth almost tripped over himself trying to rush out the door.

Dean and I were alone.

"Dean?" I asked just as he turned to leave.

He stopped before going out and turned to me, saying in a thick voice, "Now is not the time, Liz. We'll talk, later. You missed breakfast, and you're going to miss lunch if you don't hurry. I'll save something for you."

He started to leave, again. I answered sadly, "Okay."

Dean stopped. He closed the door without leaving and he came back to me. He leaned in and almost touched his lips to mine. He just lingered there, not quite kissing me but not quite pulling away. I could smell the wood and metal mixed into his sweat. His coveralls were riding so low on his hips that I could almost see the base of his male anatomy. He looked deeply into my eyes and asked, "How did you find out about my past with Stephanie?"

He thought he had me pegged. I asked a question of my own, "How did you find out that I knew?"

We both knew the answers to our own questions. I could tell from his expression that I had said something when I was sleepwalking the night, before. It was why he didn't want to tell me when I asked what I had done wrong. Dean had probably confirmed it by talking to Kane, himself. He was only asking me to see how I'd react. Dean paused for a long time, just gazing at me. He suddenly confessed, "It was a long time ago. Stephanie meant nothing to me, and she still doesn't. She likes to watch me lose control. She took you because she hates your uncle and she's loyal to Reinhearst, but she also knew I would come for you. She wanted me to punish her for it. She wanted me to punish Kane and Finn for it. If I had killed Finn like I wanted to, she would've laughed. If I had put my fist up her ass and put her own shit in her mouth like I wanted to, she'd have an orgasm. I don't want to be that creature when I'm around you. I never want you to see me like that, Liz."

I gripped my blanket and said, "I feel like I don't know that much about you. Stephanie and even Charlotte...they can be dirty. Is that what you want?"

He put his hands on my face and answered, "Don't ever compare yourself to the other women in my life. You mean more to me than anything or anyone else in this world."

A loud crash from the hallway brought the echo of Kevin's laughter and took us away from our moment. I worried for Seth's safety, so I asked, "Please make sure Seth doesn't get hurt, okay?"

Frowning like he didn't want to be on guard duty, Dean let go of me and said, "I'll do my best, but there are no guarantees."

"You'd better be kidding," I replied darkly.

:-:

When I had changed into Charlotte's dress and gotten ready, I walked out to the hallway and rushed to Naomi's room. I told her, "I want you to meet Seth! He's here to visit me!"

She was working on the blue and pink project from before when I came in. Once more, she tried to hide it. She smiled at me and responded, "Bring him up here later and I'll have a chat with the boy."

"Okay!" I clapped, and took off back down the hallway again.

When I came to the stairs, I was surprised to find Paul Bearer standing there. He was walking on his own. At a snail's pace, but on his own. I asked him, "Paul, do you need help?"

He didn't respond. I took his hand anyway and began guiding him down the stairs. We made it halfway when I caught sight of Seth and Sami sitting on the couch in the living room and I waved at them. Seth smiled up at me. I was amazed at how mature he looked.

I stepped down, but Paul didn't follow me. I looked up at him and asked, "Are you coming?"

His eyes drifted up to mine, but he still didn't move. I turned when I heard someone coming from the kitchen. I saw Dean walking out with a plate of food for me and Rusev by his side. Rusev came to the bottom of the stairs and asked me in his heavy accent, "'Lizabeth, what can you do?"

I assumed he was trying to ask if I needed help. I explained, "Paul was by the stairs and I thought he wanted to come down with me, but now he won't move."

Rusev came up to help me, his footfalls making soft booming noises with each step he took. He told me, "I will take him. You are good girl, 'Lizabeth, taking care of Paul."

In one fell swoop, Rusev picked up Paul like he was a pillow and draped him over his shoulder. Rusev walked back up the stairs with ease. I waved good-bye to Paul and blew him a kiss. Much to my surprise, he reached out to catch it, lifting the edges of his mouth in what looked like a slight smile.

"Lizzy! You look great," Seth came to the foot of the stairs and held out his arms to greet me as I started back down.

"You do look great," Sami added, and I smiled at both of them, saying, "Thank you!"

Dean had also made his way to the foot of the stairs. He handed me the plate of food when I got to him. Dean said with a more serious tone than the others, "You do look very sweet, Liz."

"Thank you," I felt like I was glowing.

We all walked outside to find Sheamus. He was sleeping in a tree not far from the house. Sheamus woke up when we came close. Sheamus came down from the tree and he, Dean and Sami watched while I ate and Seth caught me up on what happened after he moved. When I finished eating, Seth and I played one of our favorite games: Acting out ridiculous soap opera bits that we made up on the spot.

Seth took my hand and got down on one knee. He moved awkwardly and said in a silly, overzealous tone, "Franchesca Blithing-Heramiston! Now that I've found you, we should be together! Forever! That means all...of...the...time!"

My tone was low and exaggerated in seriousness as I replied, "But first...I have a confession to make!"

"What is it, my love?!" Seth smiled stupidly.

I stared at him like I was trying to burn a hole in his face as I stated, "Sethington Managivingsly, I am actually...your father!"

He mocked shock and screamed shrilly, "What?! That is sick, Franchesca! Ultra sick! The sickest you've ever been! How could you say such a vile thing!"

Sheamus started laughing. Sami was also chuckling while he watched us. Dean still had his arms folded, but he was starting to smile a little.

Seth stood up and pretended to storm off. I told him in mock seriousness, "You have a birthmark of a pony on on your upper left thigh! Your mother wanted to name you Suzanne but I told her that was not a masculine name and I talked her out of it! You chipped your tooth in 5th grade riding your bike on the roof! I paid the dental bill to have it fixed and you NEVER KNEW!"

Seth bugged out his eyes with full blown shock and screamed, "It's true! You must be my father!"

"Of course it's true! I would never lie to you unless I wasn't telling the truth," I stepped forward and added in a sinister tone, "And even though I'm a woman, now, your mother is still the best piece of ass I ever had!"

Sheamus was rolling on the ground in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Sami was also wiping tears away from his eyes. Dean was shaking his head and chuckling. Seth dropped to his knees and shouted, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Seth started choking while he was still trying to do his dramatic no, then he started to laugh. I tried to keep it going as I said seriously, "You think this is funny?! Well guess what?! I'm carrying your college roommate's sister's husband's baby!"

Seth lifted his arms to cry out again, then he looked at me and asked out of character, "What?"

"You ruined the moment!" I shouted jokingly.

I grabbed Seth's head and pretended to knee him in the face.

He went backward in slow motion and rolled on the ground. Sheamus was laughing so hard at this point that he was almost choking. I put my arms up in joyous slow motion myself and bellowed in slow motion tone, "Vic-tor-y!"

Seth lay on the ground for a second longer, pretending to be out cold. Then, he lifted his head suddenly and asked, "Hey, you wanna go spit on some ants and flick boogers at every white person we see?"

I pretended to be agitated, whining, "Why can't we just make out or something?"

"I'll give you ten bucks to keep calling me Sethington," Seth presented the dollar amount in his hand from out of nowhere. He was always good at basic magic tricks like that.

I pretended to be angry and argued, "Sethington isn't even a real name!"

Dean was finally laughing. It made my cheeks feel hot and I couldn't look at him because I knew I'd break character if I did.

Seth made the 10 disappear and presented a 20 instead, asking, "A little incentive for the lady?"

"Okay!" I said, and took the money, happily stashing it in my bra.

We all stopped when I suddenly heard my uncle's voice yelling from the house. He came outside with Bray and they both rushed into Uncle Trumbly's car, looking disheveled and exhausted. When my uncle drove off with Bray, Seth asked, "Is there anything that's not my business but I should know about so I don't make a fool out of myself, Lizzy?"

I turned back and replied quickly, "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

The moment became awkward. Sheamus, Dean and Sami stopped laughing and got to their feet. Dean nodded to Seth and asked, "You want to play a game we call _Tiger's Tail_?"

Seth's face flushed a little and he tried to pass off his fear with a joke, "Does it have anything to do with male parts? Because I've played before, and pulling it does not make it any bigger."

Dean snorted and turned to walk off. We followed him as he led us all to a nearby barn. We went inside and I saw a number of cages stacked along the wall. Only one of the big cages had an enormous tiger in it. A second tiger was loosely chained to a pole coming out of the ground in the center of the barn. I immediately recognized Bo standing with the second tiger. He was handing the animal a huge bone with some meat still on it, which the tiger graciously took. A masculine looking woman twice my size was near the tiger in the cage. She was holding some tools in her hands. Roman was working on top of the cage. They all stopped and turned to look at us when we came in. Bo nodded at Dean, Sheamus and Sami. Bo looked me up and down and said, "Hey there, Liz. Nice seeing you, again."

I kind of stood out with my turquoise and gold dress that Charlotte had given me. I mumbled self-consciously, "Nice to see you again too, Bo."

Then Bo focused on Seth and asked with a frown, "Who's the civilian?"

"Be nice. This is Seth, he's a friend of Liz and a guest," Dean stated.

The masculine woman snorted and answered, "Oh yeah, the guy who put the bun in her oven."

Bo and Roman laughed. I had always felt comfortable around most of the Carnies, but they were looking at Seth like he was an outsider. Seth put his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight anxiously from one foot to the other. Roman added gruffly, "He's scrappy. You get out much, boy?"

The masculine woman and Bo laughed this time. I could tell that if we stayed, they would continue to tease him. I turned to Seth and said, "I forgot to introduce you to Miz back at the house. He knows a lot about the same stuff you do and I think you two should talk."

"Okay," Seth shrugged. I took his hand and began leading him out of the barn.

"Hey, come on! We were just playin' around," Bo started.

"Liz, you don't have to go," Dean tried to persuade me.

I turned back to politely wave good-bye to the others, then said to Dean, "It's okay, I want to show Seth around before he has to leave."

What I really wanted was to get Seth out of that barn as fast as possible.

:-:

Seth spent the rest of the afternoon meeting Naomi, telling Marlyn a little bit about himself and conversing with Miz for over an hour about alternative medicine. I brought Seth back up to my room and we listened to some of the music AJ had given me for my birthday. When a few songs had passed, Seth took off his side of the headphones and said, "Okay, enough distractions for the day."

He rolled over on his stomach and rested his head on my belly so he could feel the movements of our baby inside of me. Seth and I were silent for a while while he watched me, then he asked, "Why did you say _boy_ when you called?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You called our baby a boy when you called. Do you know the sex for sure?" he asked.

I shook my head and replied, "No, not for sure. Miz said he predicts it's a boy, and I'm kind of hoping it is."

Seth nodded and paused for a short time, then he asked, "So what's been going on with you?"

Seth was the kind of person that, when he asked you things like that, all you wanted to do was confess everything to him. That's exactly what I did. I told him about almost everything that had happened since he moved away, including the accident with Maurine and the revelation of Marlyn being my mother. I told him about the whole fight with my father. I told him how I loved Dean, but that Dean was struggling with his sordid and self-depreciative past. I left out the details of Dean making love to me, but explained that I wanted to marry him.

The only big thing I left out was Sami and Sheamus' relationship, because I told Sami I would keep their secret, but Seth was smart enough that he probably already noticed the chemistry between the two. I explained some of what happened the night before, sparing Seth the sexual part of it. I explained that Dean and I were at odds with each other and I was hoping he could forgive himself and come back to me. I started crying even though I didn't want to. Seth listened the whole time, never interrupting or becoming disgusted or judging me in any way. He moved up and held me until I finished crying.

It was getting late. I knew Seth would have to leave soon, so I told him what I had wanted to say before he moved away, including the fact that I had never supported my dad's feelings about him and I wanted Seth there for the birth of our child.

When I finally finished, I felt a sense of relief. Seth held me closer and said, "I'm staying at a hotel in town, but maybe I can stay here with you for the night, if you want me to."

I nodded just as Dean burst through the door. Dean turned to lock the door once it was closed. Seth asked with confusion, "What are you doing?"

"I have to lock it so Liz doesn't leave if she starts sleepwalking," Dean answered shortly.

He sounded agitated. Seth focused on me instead of Dean's obvious attitude and asked, "You're still having trouble with that?"

"Yeah, but not every night like before," I answered.

"Lizzy, you know the doctor told you to write things down because you hold in your feelings and it makes your sleepwalking worse," Seth reminded me.

Dean was taking his coveralls off with his back turned to us. I could tell he was listening intently because his head was turned at an angle and he was being far too mean to his denim. I sighed and answered, "I know! I have a journal but I hate to think about writing everything down! What if someone steals it and reads it or something?"

"Then make up a code or something to write in it. Make random observations so it doesn't make sense. Just write anything in there so you won't have trouble sleeping. Promise me you will," Seth stated seriously.

Instead of answering seriously, I got up so I could change into my night dress as I said in a pretend angry tone, "God, you're so bossy! Mister Boss-Man! Always telling me what to do!"

He replied in a mock serious voice, "You better get used to it, baby, 'cause one of these days, I'm gonna own this town, and then I'm gonna own you!"

I took my night dress out and turned around to face Seth, shouting, "Oh, yeah?!"

"Yeah!" he shouted back.

"Oh yeah?!" I countered more loudly.

"Yeah!" he answered even louder.

We paused for a second. I asked, "Hey, you wanna go spit on some ants and flick boogers at every couple we see?"

Seth pretended to be troubled, answering, "Aw, it's kind of late for flicking boogers..."

"I'll give you 20 bucks!" I said, pulling out the 20 he had given me, earlier.

"Okay," Seth shot up from bed and followed me to the bathroom.

I left the door open so Dean wouldn't think we were doing something weird. I stepped into the tub and pulled the curtain back so I could change into my night clothes while Seth washed his face in front of the sink. He asked me, "Hey, can I use your toothbrush?"

"Ew, germs!" I shouted.

"I'll give you 20 bucks," Seth said.

"Okay," I answered.

When I stepped out once more, I glanced at Seth and found that he was brushing his teeth and crouched over the sink with his shirt off. His upper body was more lean muscled and healthier looking than I had remembered. Either he had buffed up for a future wrestling career or he had joined a fitness center for the discount and decided to stay, the latter sounding more like something he would do. He looked up into the mirror's reflection and caught me gazing at him. I played it off as another joke, saying in a mock-erotic tone, "Oh baby, you are so hot."

I knew that I was already found out, but Seth turned around and played into my game, his mouth all foamy with toothpaste as he struck a model's pose and said, "I know."

I stuck my tongue out at him and wiggled it like we were French kissing from afar. He did the same to me. I rubbed my belly and said sensually, "You're so hot, I wanna have your baby...oh wait..."

Seth broke into laughter, almost choking on the toothpaste foam as he did. I laughed as well and went back to my bed. Dean was lying in his own bed. He was wearing a pair of boxers, I assumed for Seth's benefit, since Dean usually slept naked. I could see he was smiling about Seth and I as Dean remarked, "You two are a bunch of clowns."

"You should see us on tour," I replied jokingly.

Seth came back out in a t-shirt and boxers and tried to hop into my bed, but he purposefully rolled off and fell onto the floor, making me burst into a fit of laughter. I glanced over at Dean and he was smiling at me, like he enjoyed seeing me so happy.

Seth shot up from the floor and pretended to be struggling to climb back into bed. I laughed while I watched him. He finally made himself comfortable next to me and Dean turned out the light. Seth acted like he was whispering but it was loud enough for Dean to overhear, "Hey, wanna make out and do discreet things that are close to but not quite considered sexual under the covers?"

I mocked disgust as I replied in a whiny voice, "I don't even know you that well, and I'm kind of too good for you..."

"I'll give you 20 more bucks," Seth made two 20s appear between his fingers, the first 20 being from what he owed me in the bathroom.

"Okay," I answered, pulling the money from his fingers.

Seth struggled to pull the covers up and slipped underneath them quickly. He moaned sensually, "Oh, Lizzy!"

"I'm not even under there, yet!" I argued.

"Oh," Seth replied.

Dean made a quiet chuckle. I acted like I was struggling to get under the covers myself. I playfully kicked Seth a few times in the process. Seth and I told each other lame secrets and dumb jokes until I was too tired to stay awake. I threw the covers off and rolled on my back to fall asleep. Seth put his hand on my abdomen and he started snoring lightly in just a few minutes. I looked over at Dean.

It was dark, but he still looked handsome to me.


	19. Chapter 19

19:

 _I was dreaming that I was standing with Dean out in the yard under a golden archway. There were a whole group of people seated in white chairs around us. The sun was shining on both of us. I was wearing a white dress with a pattern of purple lilacs around the edges. I was holding a bouquet of flowers. Dean was in a suit._

 _I was overwhelmingly happy, thinking that this was my wedding day and I was about to marry the one I loved. It seemed to be perfect until Dean let go of my arm and walked off to stand near a line of men. I glanced around and saw a line of women on my other side. They were dressed in the same pattern of lilacs as I was. I turned to look back down the aisle with a sense of confusion. I saw Seth walking down the aisle in a suit. His arm was wrapped around a gorgeous brunette woman in an expensive wedding gown._

 _This was Seth's wedding; not mine._

I woke up to the sound of a loud BANG!

Seth shot up next to me and asked, "What the hell was that?!"

It was dark. I saw movement in Dean's bed and I knew he was up. I listened. I could hear more banging, followed by loud moaning and growling. I knew that Charlotte and Kevin were going at it in the downstairs room, again.

"Oh, no! Not tonight!" I wailed.

"What?" Seth asked, confused by my cries.

"It's just Charlotte and Kevin in the room by ours," Dean informed Seth while I blushed crimson.

Sheamus appeared in the moonlit windowsill. He had used the ladder to come up to it. He popped his head in and said, "Dean-O," then he stopped short when he heard Charlotte and Kevin. Sheamus misunderstood where the noise was coming from and asked, "Ya with Liz, lad?"

"What?!" Seth screeched, his voice cracking in a weird way.

Dean turned on the light. Seth blinked a few times and glanced nervously at Dean and Sheamus. Dean focused on Sheamus and asked, "What's the problem?"

Seeing that it was not Dean and I in action, Sheamus cleared his throat and responded, "Sami won't sleep. Could we come up?"

"Sure," Dean answered, and Sheamus started to climb inside.

He helped Sami in after him. Sami came to lay down on my right side while Seth tried to ignore the noise and settle down on my left. Sheamus collapsed face-down across the end part of Dean's bed just as we all heard the slapping noise of skin against skin.

Charlotte broke into a fit of laughter. I judged from the sound that Kevin was probably spanking her. I covered my ears and said, "Oh, God! I hate when they do that!"

There was another loud slap. Seth's eyes grew to twice their size as he looked at me like he couldn't believe I was being subjected to this. Dean opened the bedside table drawer and pulled out his radio headphones. He came over to my bed and said, "Move over, Sami."

Sami moved away and Dean sat down next to me so he could put his headphones over my ears and drown out the sound. He was about to put them on me when I heard Kevin say to Charlotte in the other room, "Hey, do that _Liz_ thing you were doing, yesterday!"

"What?! Why?!" Charlotte argued.

"Just do it!" Kevin yelled.

I looked at Dean. His jaw clenched and he was starting to breathe quickly through his nose. He looked like a gorilla about to steamroll a person who dared to step on his territory.

Charlotte must have done something because she said a few seconds later, "There! You happy?!"

Sheamus was leaning tensely on the edge of Dean's bed, intent on stopping him if Dean decided to unleash his rage. Sami was facing me and looking distraught. Seth was listening and frowning like he was still trying to figure out what was going on.

"Do it again and turn around!" Kevin shouted.

I started to say, "Dean, don't! It doesn't matter-"

He was already up and storming toward the door. Sheamus tried to get to his feet and stop Dean, but he was too late. Dean had unlocked the door and both he and Sheamus went out to the hallway. I heard Dean storming down the stairs. There was a moment of intense silence, then the sound of a door being kicked open. I heard Charlotte yelp. Dean screamed at Kevin, "What the fuck?! You know she can hear you! We can ALL HEAR YOU!"

"Then send her down here so she can _feel_ it and _hear_ it," Kevin responded with a chuckle.

The sounds of a fist fight broke out. Seth, Sami and I just sat there and listened. Sheamus cried out and so did Kevin. Dean cursed and Charlotte screamed. Then, I heard Charlotte laughing and Sheamus cursed at her, "Ya got me eye, ya bleedin' whore!"

"What did you say, you cock-sucking ginger-fucker!" Kevin shot back.

More sounds of fists and grunts as men beat on each other. After a full minute of noise, I heard some thuds and things got louder like the fight had moved out into the hallway. Kevin cried out, and Sheamus cursed, "Fawk!"

Charlotted suddenly came running into our room and shouted at me, "Liz, we're sorry! We were only fucking around! Now, make Dean stop!"

I got up and rushed over to the door. I looked out into the hallway and saw Sheamus lying on his side against the wall holding his stomach. Kevin was naked and bent forward. His arms were locked around Dean's waist. Kevin was shoving him into the wall over and over, again, but Dean was pounding his fists heavily against Kevin's lower back and kidneys.

I shouted, "Stop it!"

They didn't seem to notice me. Kevin pulled out from around Dean's waist. Dean spun Kevin around and tried to put his arm around Kevin's throat. Kevin responded by swinging around and attempting to elbow Dean in the ribs. Kevin managed two good shots before Dean arched him backwards and got his arm around Kevin's neck. Kevin started choking from lack of oxygen.

"STOP IT!" I shouted as loud as I could.

Being pregnant meant that I had little control over my bladder. Shouting with so much pressure was the last thing I should have done. I let enough out to soak myself, but not enough for anyone to notice. I shouted anyway, "Shit! Shit, shit, SHIT!"

I rushed back into the room and grabbed a pair of underwear from the dresser drawer. Charlotte stared at me with her mouth gaping open while I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. I worked quickly to refresh my old pair. I noticed that the sounds of fighting had completely stopped. I heard Dean concerned voice on the other side of the door a minute later as he asked, "Liz, are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I said quickly.

"Do you need anything, Liz? Do you need me to get you some water or something?" Seth offered from the other side of the door.

"I'm okay!" I shouted, sounding unintentionally harsh.

I rinsed my soiled underwear off in the sink and quickly tossed them in the basket to wash later. Before I came back out, I realized that everyone probably thought I ran into the bathroom because I was upset. It gave me a good excuse to give Dean the cold shoulder for being so overly aggressive.

Opening the door, I saw Dean and Seth standing there watching me with concern. Sami and Sheamus were sitting on Dean's bed. I stepped out slowly and kept my eyes on the floor. I put on my best serious face and sat down on my bed. I remarked quietly, "Thank you for trying to keep the peace, Sheamus."

"Aye," Sheamus nodded at me with an exhausted expression, still holding his stomach.

"That was really nice of you," Sami said to Sheamus.

Sheamus looked at Sami with the saddest eyes I'd ever seen.

"You look hot when you've been kicking butt," Sami said, then he leaned in and gave Sheamus a quick but sensual kiss.

Seth's eyes practically tripled in size. Sheamus grabbed Sami and leaned him back in Dean's bed, but Dean told them thickly, "Not here, guys. We have a guest."

Sheamus pulled Sami up to his feet and they both disappeared in the bathroom. Seth timidly walked over to my bed while Sami's soft moans pushed away the aggressive tension in the room.

"Charlotte left, in case you were wondering," Seth told me.

I smiled and nodded. My plan was to come out and be mad at Dean, but I couldn't be mad when I was so happy that Sami and Sheamus were finally having a moment together.

I looked over and saw Dean half-smiling at me. I narrowed my eyes and told him, "Don't you dare think that my happiness for Sheamus and Sami has me forgetting what you just did!"

His smile faded. Dean sniffed and folded his arms with renewed agitation. I settled into bed and Seth came around to lay down beside me. Seth mentioned quietly, "You didn't tell me Sheamus and Sami were a couple."

"Don't repeat it. Not everyone knows," I replied.

Seth nodded and settled in next to me. Dean stormed over to his own bed and slammed himself down into a horizontal position. He grunted in pain and clutched his ribs with his left arm. I saw it and wanted to go over and comfort him, but then I remembered I was supposed to be mad. I told him, "Serves you right for beating up on your brother."

Dean shot me a surprised look. Seth asked, "Brother? Kevin's your brother, Dean?"

"He doesn't have the condition that I have, obviously," Dean answered, his voice hushed from his sore ribs while still somehow managing to sound agitated.

There was a loud bang from the bathroom. Sheamus could be heard saying with arousal, "Christ, Sami! You're a fawkin' animal."

Low, heavy moans could be heard following Sheamus' words. Seth became uncomfortable, asking, "Should we take a walk and let them have some alone time?"

"Are you so uptight that you can't handle a little sucking and fucking?!" Dean argued.

"Don't talk to him like that!" I shouted angrily.

Dean again widened his eyes with surprise at me. More rhythmic banging could be heard from the bathroom, coupled with deep moans of pleasure from Sami and grunts of pleasure and pain from Sheamus. Seth shot up quickly and stated, "I think I'll go...take a walk or something..."

"Seth, don't go," I said.

He looked back at me, and I recognized the familiar distressed and slightly pained look. He was getting _aroused_ from all the commotion between Charlotte and Kevin and now Sheamus and Sami.

I sighed and told him, "Just be careful, okay? It's better if you stay in the house, but if you go outside, don't go past the main yard, okay?"

He nodded and left. The banging and moaning got louder as I rolled over on my side to go to sleep. I was trying to position myself to look away from Dean, but the gauze on my face made it too painful to look away from him, so I rolled over on my right side and put my focus on my goldfish. After a few seconds, Dean slowly got up from his bed and came over to the other side of mine so he could crawl in next to me. He lay down behind me on his back so he wasn't touching me. He asked morosely, "Are you really mad at me?"

The banging stopped and I heard Sheamus let out a moan of climax that sounded like he desperately needed this moment. There was a soft thud and a space of silence. The two men spoke to each other in soft tones, then I heard Sami making soft sighing noises like Sheamus was doing something else to him. I rolled over on my back so I could see Dean, better. I noticed he was still holding his ribs with his left arm. He could've been faking it to make me feel bad, but Dean was more like the type who didn't want people to see him in pain, which made me think he was really hurting.

"Yes, I am mad at you," I frowned, but my words sounded hollow.

"I'm sorry, Liz," Dean responded thickly, and I knew he really meant it.

He was staring at the ceiling with his arm still holding to his ribs. For a moment, I realized that I had never seen Dean look so disarmed. I explained softly, "Look, I'm glad that you want to protect me, but sometimes you get so upset over nothing, and then you end up hurting yourself and the people around you."

Dean joined his eyes with mine in a hard gaze, stating, "Kevin stepped over a line. He's making Charlotte imitate you so he can get off on it. He's only doing it because he can't have you and he knows it fucks with me."

I nodded to acknowledge him, then I replied, "Charlotte was really scared, though. When I came out to stop you, Kevin looked like he was choking and I thought you might kill him."

Dean blinked slowly, his expression devoid as if the thought of killing his brother wasn't exactly a sad one. Then he rolled over so that he was halfway on top of me and he could hold his gaze on me as he asked thickly, "Were _you_ scared?"

The sounds of Sheamus and Sami faded away. All I could see was Dean. I answered honestly, "No. I'm not afraid of you. I wasn't afraid of you last night, either. I just got confused because you were holding on to my wrists too tightly and I thought I had hurt you when I grabbed on to you."

Dean's face fell as he explained, "I'm sorry about that. I should have never told you to grab me in the first place. It does provide the quickest end for me, but it also brings up some memories I can't deal with and I lose control. I was angry with myself so that's why I left. I will never let that happen again with you, Liz. Ever."

I had never wanted Dean more than I did in that moment. I said, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want you to be mad."

"What?" Dean lifted his brow with intrigue.

"I overheard some guys talking in the house. They said that Charlotte told them you used to do some weird sexual thing with a toothbrush," I explained.

Dean chuckled lightly, then shifted like he was in pain. I wanted to ask him if he was alright, but he responded to me before I could, saying, "It's not as weird as it sounds. Remember when I ate you out last night? It's basically the same thing only I use the bristles of a toothbrush instead of using my tongue."

I gasped about the first part of his sentence, shouting, "So that's what eating out is!"

Dean laughed and shook his head. I became self-conscious and asked, "What?"

He looked deeply into my eyes and answered, "You're so damn sweet, Liz."

Leaning in more closely, he added, "If I weren't in a lot of pain right now, I would lick some of that sweetness off of you, then I would fuck you until you felt what Seth couldn't give you the first time."

Dean was almost to my lips when the bathroom door opened and a disheveled Sami and Sheamus walked out. Sheamus nodded to us and sighed, then he nodded to the door where I couldn't see and mentioned, "Oi, Seth. Did we buther ya?"

 _Oh, God._

Dean rolled off of me and I realized Seth had been standing at the doorway for who knows how long. His eyes were glistening with frustrated tears, and I knew that he had heard what Dean said about him. I started to get up as Seth turned his attention to Sheamus and said, "No, it's uh...no problem."

Sheamus looked at him with confusion, and I started, "Seth..."

"I think I'll go for another walk," Seth hurried to get out the door.

I got out of bed to chase after him. I walked as quickly as I could in the darkness without hurting myself as I called to him, "Seth? Seth, wait!"

He wouldn't slow down. We were on the stairwell headed down to the living room before I ran out of breath. I stopped and called to him, "Seth, please! I can't keep up with you!"

Seth finally stopped. He turned to face me from a few steps down while I gripped the railing and tried to catch my breath. He asked me angrily, "Is that what you told him? That I didn't satisfy you?"

"No, Seth, it's not like that," I shook my head.

"Well, in a lot of ways, it kind of is," Seth said, and I stared at him.

He breathed a frustrated sigh and explained, "You know, I never wanted to tell you this out loud because I wanted you to be happy and forget about me, but Liz, you don't understand how much I love you."

I was completely shocked. Never had Seth said a word about love when it came to me. He went on, "I said _yes_ when you wanted to make love because I thought that you would realize that you loved me, too, but you never said a word. Even after you got pregnant and I thought about asking you to marry me. I left because I knew I didn't have a chance with you, and I started a whole new life in Florida with a wonderful girl, and I thought I could be happy and in love, but then I came back here and saw you sleeping in your room, and I wanted to give it all away again just to be with you, again."

There were tears in his eyes as well as in mine. Seth struggled to finish, "Liz, I know that you'll never love me, and that would have been okay with me and I could've just lived my life in peace, but knowing that I did nothing for you during our first time together...nothing at all..."

I didn't know what to say. He didn't seem to know, either. We just stood there, staring at each other in silence. Seth looked away first, saying, "I think I'll go for a longer walk. I'm leaving to get back home, tomorrow. I'll try to make a trip back after the baby's born."

 _Try_. He wasn't even sure.

Seth walked away from me and out the door before I was able to go after him. I was suddenly struck with the sense of panic I felt when my father left in almost the same fashion. I made my way down the stairs and out the door, feeling the warm breeze against my face as I searched the darkness for any sign of Seth. I couldn't see him, so I walked down the front steps and looked around once more, hoping to see him moving somewhere nearby.

I opened my mouth to call out for him, but someone's hand covered it.

I felt a pair of short but strong arms take hold of me. I couldn't shout through the palm across my lips to get help. I took in a shrill breath through my nose, and caught a rancid smell that I was sure I had breathed in, before. The culprit began dragging me furiously over to the side of the house and into the shadows. I kicked my feet frantically, but there was loose gravel underneath me and all it seemed to do was cut at my heels. The arms were strong, resilient, and as I grabbed at the person, chunks of their skin were easily peeling off into my hands.

They shoved me to the ground so hard, my back seized up when I hit the gravel. I tried to get up, but they jammed their knee into my right hip and I could barely move. I continued to try and fight them, and as soon as they let up their grip, I rolled over on my back and looked up.

It was Finn. I sat up before he could reach for me again, and I opened my mouth to scream.

Again, my mouth was covered, but not by his palm. This time, a warm liquid was being poured into my mouth and all over my face. I could taste beer in my mouth as I choked to get it out, unable to scream. The alcohol was burning my face, absorbing into the gauze on my left side and searing the wounded skin there. I thought I was on _fire_.

Finn leaned down beside me while I was fighting to get air into my lungs. I saw the glint of a blade. I thought that I was about to meet my end.

Bray appeared from out of nowhere and rammed his entire body weight into Finn full force, sending them both to the ground a distance away from me. I tried to roll over on my side, releasing the contents of my stomach while I struggled to catch my breath.

I saw Bray beating Finn. I heard the sound of Finn's bones breaking and his blood spurting. I saw a glimpse of Finn pointing the blade. He rammed it into Bray's right side. Bray cried out and fell back. Finn moved quickly up to his feet. Finn was fast, and he managed to scratch at Bray's arms and pull the blade out to stab him again before Bray grabbed hold of Finn's head and twisted.

There was a snapping sound. Finn's head lulled to one side and he crumpled onto the ground.

Bray held his side and struggled to get back up. He crawled over to me, blood seeping through his clothes and down his arm at a rapid speed. It looked like red water. I caught a glimpse of someone a distance away from us, then I heard Seth's voice shout up to the house, "Dean! Dean, come quick!"

Seth rushed over to help me, while Bray collapsed on the ground beside me. My hand was only inches from Bray's, so I gently reached until I could take hold of his fingertips. I squeezed them and told him, "Thank you."

"I'm a dead man," he replied.

Seth was by my side in seconds, his breaths short, his voice panicked. He shouted, "Liz? Elizabeth? Lizzie!"

My eyes rolled back in my head. Seth's voice became more distant as I faded into some dark place in the recesses of my mind.


	20. Chapter 20

20:

My eyes opened. I felt like I had been sleeping forever but I was still exhausted. I had been dreaming so randomly and heavily that I wasn't sure if I was really awake. My cheeks were hot. The wounded left side of my face was exposed but had some kind of thick cold gel on it. I moaned and turned my head to try and get a better look at my surroundings.

 _White_. The walls were white and the ceiling was white paneled. There was a dim light on somewhere in the room. I was fairly certain I was in the same hospital were I was taken with Sami last time. I tried to part my lips to speak. I realized there was something soft and gel like in my mouth. It felt like a retainer.

I turned my head to the left and saw a camera lens staring back at me. I concentrated on it. _Who put a camera lens in a hospital bed?_ It zoned in on me. I saw my face in its reflection. I saw some wires that had been placed on my forehead. The wires led to a machine behind the camera. The left side of my face was still damaged, but mostly healed. There were spots on my skin there were a milky white where new skin was growing. My reflection still frightened me.

I tried to move my arms, but I couldn't. I looked down. I was strapped to the bed by my wrists and ankles. Mouth guard, straps, wires and cameras. The only other time I had ever seen all of that in a row was in a movie with mental patients.

Panic rose up within me. I started to struggle with the straps and I tried to spit out the mouth guard so that I could call out for help. I was on the verge of hysteria when finally a light turned on to my right. I glanced over and saw that this hospital room had no wall on the right side, but a huge pane of dark glass that only allowed me to see through it when the light was turned on. I saw Dean and Marlyn standing behind a large switchboard with a number of buttons and signals. Seth and a serious looking man in a lab coat were standing close to Dean. I saw Abbey standing on the opposite side of the switchboard, looking at me with tear-filled eyes.

 _Abbey's here. I must be dreaming._

The serious looking man lifted a microphone. His dark hair was balding as he leaned in and spoke with a determined but small voice, "Excuse me, Elizabeth. I apologize for the science fiction theme of your immediate surroundings. I am Doctor Heyman. I'm a colleague of Seth's. You were admitted to the hospital four days ago for treatment after you were attacked by a young man and you were rendered unconscious. The wounds to your face were healing but I have been keeping you under sedation to accelerate the healing process. The time you've spent recovering has been very beneficial. Seth asked me to come here from Florida to do a sleep study on you so we can create a more detailed analysis of your sleepwalking disorder."

Seth waved at me and smiled. I was still not sure if this were a dream or not, so I figured I'd just go with it. Abbey leaned in before Dr. Heyman could continue and she told me through the microphone, "Oh, Liz! Honey, I know you're struggling right now and I want you to know that I love you!"

Abbey quickly moved aside and Dr. Heyman lifted a brow. He returned to the microphone and said sarcastically, "Thank you for that touching moment."

Her face turning crimson, Abbey mouthed an apology and stepped aside. Dr. Heyman looked back at me and continued, "I was expecting you to be asleep for a while longer, Liz. I will gather my notes and we will make things more comfortable for you in no time."

He waved a hand at me. A robotic thing in the shape of a square with a round head and two gripping claws pushed off from the far wall and came rolling over to me. Dr. Heyman saw it and started pressing buttons on the board to stop the robot. It managed to get to my bedside before he could do anything. I froze, unsure of what to do. The robot gripped a cup of water from a table beside my bed in one claw. The robot held it out for me and said it a chipmunk voice, "Water? I will take your mouthpiece."

He gripped a container from the table and held it out in his other claw. I spit the mouthpiece out into the container. I couldn't sit up well enough to get any water. I asked the robot, "Could you move the water closer?"

"Closer," the robot repeated, but it didn't move.

Seth spoke through the microphone to me, saying, "Liz, talk to him in robot language."

I nodded at him, remembering my days spent with him reading Sci-Fi comics. The robots in the comics mostly responded to literal translations. I told the robot, "Seven inches forward."

The robot responded by moving the cup seven inches forward as I had instructed. I added, "Two inches down."

He did as I told him. I grabbed the straw from the cup with my mouth and sucked down as much water as I could.

When I had enough, I let go of the straw and said, "Thank you."

" _De nada_ , Baby Momma," the robot replied.

I became confused, then I looked through the window wall and saw that Seth was manipulating the robot with the microphone. His voice was like a chipmunk through the robot as he stated, "So, you know I'm made of cold, hard steel _all_ over..."

I giggled. Seth was smiling as well. I was hoping that meant he had forgiven me for everything that had happened before Finn grabbed me.

Seth asked jokingly using the robot's chipmunk voice, "You wanna touch my _pincher_?"

Dr. Heyman grabbed the microphone away from Seth and gave him a hard glare. Seth shrugged and mumbled something I didn't hear to Dr. Heyman. Abbey slapped Seth in the arm as well, lecturing him with words I couldn't hear.

The door to the room opened and I saw Dean coming in. I sighed his name, "Dean."

He came to my bedside and leaned in to speak to me. He looked tired, ragged, and he smelled like old sweat and coffee. He had probably stayed with me since the beginning. He still found the energy to tell me, "It's one in the morning. Seth and his buddy haven't finished the sleep study, yet. Do you think you could go back to sleep for a little longer?"

He didn't have to ask. I was already tired, again. I nodded and Dean made sure I was all covered up. He took the mouthpiece from the container and said, "You have to put this back in so you don't grind your teeth."

"I don't want to, it's all _spitty_ ," I argued.

Dean dipped the piece into what was left of the cup of water in the robot's claw to rinse it off. He took it out and sucked up the water and whatever spit was left. He gave the guard one last lick and said, "Now it tastes like me."

"That should've been gross but it was oddly sexy," I answered, my eyes already starting to droop.

Dean leaned in so close, he was an inch from my lips. I told him quickly, "Thank Bray for me, okay? He saved my life."

I gazed at Dean to see if his expression would tell me what happened to Bray, but he was his usual stoic self. He whispered to me, "Open up."

I parted my lips, and he kissed me lightly before he put the mouthpiece back in. It did taste like him, which made it easier for me. Dean turned to leave. I heard Dr. Heyman say through the microphone in reference to the hospital ploy we had pulled last time that apparently was still being used this time, "I thought you were her brother."

"We're really close," Dean stated.

:-:

I dreamed of a group of robots that wanted me to be their leader because I was the only human who could speak their language. Seth was there to help me keep track of the robots. Abbey kept hugging the robots and telling them, "I love you, but you all look _spitty_."

At some point in the dream, I ended up alone with Seth. He was smiling at me and we were discussing how to transport robots to other countries so they could help others. Then, we were suddenly making out like two wild animals.

Seth's clothing disappeared and he looked as buff as he did when I saw him in the bathroom at Uncle Trumbly's house, but he was as awkward as he was during our first time. Seth couldn't seem to get comfortable enough to just be with me. I wished for Dean to be there with us, and he suddenly appeared. Dean was also naked. I was becoming aroused by both Seth and Dean. When Dean joined us, Seth became jealous and the two started fighting over who could arouse me best, trying to outdo each other by kissing me and touching me. It kept escalating until they were grabbing me and hurting me.

I started to feel vivid pain. I tried to call out, "Stop, stop," but my voice wouldn't come out. Seth pulled me away from Dean and forced himself inside me. It was painful but I could still feel a sense of release coming on. Dean tried to pull me out from under Seth. I felt Dean grab my breasts and he squeezeed them hard. He yelled at Seth, "SHE'S MINE!"

The last word of Dean's outcry echoed in my head. My eyes burst open and I shot up in bed. I let out a shocked breath of air as I felt the sensation of climax from between my legs. I realized that my wrists and ankles hurt but they were no longer bound. The retainer was still in my mouth and I spit it out. I felt instant soreness in my jaw. I wondered if my screams in the dream were trying to make their way into reality.

"Elizabeth! We're coming, sweetheart!" Marlyn spoke through the microphone from the window wall.

I didn't look up at her because I was too embarrassed. Had anyone noticed that I just had an orgasm? I could only hope that I hadn't just climaxed on record in front of my boyfriend, my baby's father, his colleague and my two mothers.

The door to the room opened and a tall, heavyset nurse walked in. I was hoping for Dean, but she would do for now. The nurse helped me to sit up and took my vital signs. She told me, "Let's get you to the bathroom, and then I'll have a meal for you. The doctor says you can leave today! Isn't that good news?"

"Great," I said, but I didn't know if I really wanted to face the craziness back home after what happened the other night.

The nurse left me alone to shower and get dressed. She brought me a tray with a large meal. I was curious as to why no one else had come in to see me. The sun was coming through the windows outside and it had to be early morning. I couldn't help thinking about Bray while I got ready, wondering if he was in the hospital and if he was alright. I was sure Finn was dead. Bray had probably broken his neck. I doubted that Uncle Trumbly made that fact known to the hospital staff. I wasn't about to ask the nurse in case Bray's injuries were kept a secret from the locals.

The nurse set up a wheelchair for me to sit in because I was still exhausted. I took one last bathroom trip before I left the room. I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I heard the muffled voice of a man in the room next to mine. I wouldn't have paid much attention except that I heard him say, "Carnie."

I listened more intently as he continued to talk to someone else in the room, saying, "...I hate it when they show up here. Even the normal ones are a bunch of freak shows and they come in large groups and make a mess of things. Did you see that girl's face? Her _alleged_ uncle says it was an accident. Yeah, right, I'll bet he did it to her himself, that sick bastard. He's probably a cult leader and she's his child bride. Sickening, the whole lot of 'em!"

I swallowed hard, feeling sick to my stomach. I stood there and listened as the man went on, "Did you see that hairy one? He threw a fit when that kid with the stab wound came in and we didn't have a room right away. He looks like a werewolf! Probably bites like one, too."

Tears were forming in my eyes. This guy was really getting to me.

"The stab wound kid was even worse. He was so violent, they had to strap him down. Can you fuckin' believe it? There's no way a sane person could be that violent. I hear most of those Carnies are runaways and rapists and murderers. I'm betting rapist on the hairy one and murderer on the stab wound. Runaway for the girl with the fucked up face."

There was laughter coming from the room. I was so agitated, I pulled open the door to the bathroom and rushed out to find my nurse. I wasn't looking where I was going and I slammed into someone else, instead. He took hold of me so I didn't fall. I took a step back and looked up to see AJ standing before me with a freshly picked daffodil in his hand. The daffodil was wilted because I had slammed into him so hard. I flushed with embarrassment, not only from slamming into him, but because my face no longer had gauze on it. His eyes rolled around in his head and his lip twitched uncomfortably as he got the full view of my injuries. He laughed awkwardly and handed me the flower, saying, "Uh, sorry to barge in on you. I uh...heard you were here and I wanted to come and say I hope you get well."

I looked away and mumbled, "Thanks."

He kept the flower held out and I took it. I tried to walk around him, but AJ blocked my path and asked, "Wait, aren't you going to say anything?"

I reluctantly looked back up at him. He was staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to acknowledge his apology. I replied honestly, my head still in a maze, "I don't know what to say..."

AJ looked away from me and sighed with aggravation, like he had expected more from me. He locked eyes with me again and said, "Maybe you would like to say that you're sorry for making me look stupid in front of your friends last time, and that you would like to make it up to me."

 _This guy was unbelievable._

"I don't want to talk about this right now," I tried to get around him again, but AJ took hold of my arms.

He turned me around to face him and he backed me up until I was pressed against the wall. I opened my mouth to yell at him but AJ argued with me, "If you act like a bitch to me, I could make things really miserable for you when school starts. I also know about your little friend, Bray. He's still in recovery, you know."

That answered my question about where Bray was. I stared at AJ stone faced and stated, "Thank you for the flower. I'm sorry I made you feel stupid last time. I want to go, now."

AJ stared at me and his jaw clenched. I could tell he was thinking about his options, and the seconds seemed to drag on. I was not sure from his expression if he would make the right choice or not.

"Liz?" I heard Seth's voice ask from the hallway.

AJ immediately let go of me. Seth appeared in the doorway. Seth smiled at me but his smile fell when he saw my expression. Seth was smart about how keeping up a Poker face when he knew something was up. He furrowed his brow and asked me as if he weren't suspicious of AJ at all, "You don't look ready to go yet. Would you like to wait here a while?"

I took Seth's lead and shook my head, replying, "No, I think I'm okay."

Seth then turned to AJ and put his hand out, saying, "Hey, there! I'm Seth Rollins."

AJ shook his hand carefully, answering, "I'm AJ Styles. I came to see how Liz was doing."

Seth took my hand and led me to the wheelchair that was by the door. I sat down and Seth wheeled me away, waving to AJ as he said, "Nice to meet you, man."

AJ waved back and turned to walk down the hall in the opposite direction, his hands clenched into fists. As soon as we rounded the corner, I started to fall apart. I told Seth, "Is there an empty room I can go into or something? I need a minute."

Seth found the nearest room and pushed me into it. He closed the door behind us and I started to cry, throwing the daffodil to the floor. Kneeling down to face me, Seth asked, "What happened? Did that guy do something to you?"

I explained to him what I had overheard in the bathroom. I also gave a short version of the situation with AJ. Seth became angry and said, "I should go find AJ and that ignorant guy next to your room and kick both their asses!"

Seth was more built than he used to be, but the only fight I had ever seen him involved in was with a video game console and his twelve-year-old cousin. Seth lost that one big time. I burst into a fit of laughter when remembering the situation. Seth stared at me, asking with some insult, "What is so funny? You think I can't beat people up?"

"You hit a punching bag in gym class once, and it came back and slammed you into the wall!" I retorted.

"Hey, that bag was rigged, okay! And I was like, twelve when that happened! I weighed less than my mom's vacuum cleaner!" Seth argued.

I stopped laughing and wiped my tears away, then I said more seriously, "Don't tell Dean about AJ, okay? If he finds out, AJ's ass won't be kicked. It will be dead."

Seth leaned down again and scooped me into a hug. He pressed his lips to my ear and told me, "Yeah, alright, I won't tell _Timber_ to sick the petty humans."

" _Timber_?" I asked curiously.

"Like Timber Wolf. That's my nickname for him. He hasn't punched me in the face so I don't think he's caught on to what it means, yet," Seth told me.

He started to pull away, giving me a light kiss on the lips out of instinct because we used to always do that back home whenever we were leaving each other. Seth realized as soon as he broke away what he had done, but he didn't step away from me, and our eyes met.

The moment turned awkward and Seth looked away, clearing his throat. I swallowed hard and he asked, "Wanna go spit on some ants and make out in the back of my mom's minivan?"

"Only if you promise to buy me makeup and a jackhammer!" I shot back.

"Done!" Seth yelled, wheeling me back out into the hallway and down to the waiting room.

Once we were there, I saw Trumbly, Marlyn, Abbey, and Dean sitting together. They all stood up to greet me. Kevin and Charlotte were also there, probably more for Bray than for me. Charlotte smiled a little and Kevin nodded at me when I came in. I smiled back at them, then I glanced over at a woman and a young man at the far side of the room. I recognized the young man as Kane. His head was in the woman's lap. My heart sank when I realized it was Stephanie.

She looked older than she was, if that were even possible. Her long hair was sticking out in different directions. Her skin looked gray and her mascara was a stream down her cheeks from tears. She was running her long fingernails across Kane's back and talking to him in a hushed tone when she turned to look at me. For a moment, she gazed at the damage she had done to my face. Her eyes glazed over like I was a stranger and she looked away, focusing her attention back on Kane. A horrible image suddenly came into my mind. I saw Dean having sex with Stephanie on the floor of the ugly old trailer where I had been held captive. I could imagine his blue eyes staring her down hungrily while she moaned his name and dug her fingernails into his back.

My stomach rolled over and I said, "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Oh, dear! Oh! Give her some air, Seth!" Abbey shooed Seth away from me and wheeled me back out into the hallway, where I could no longer see Stephanie. I leaned forward and worked on my breathing while Abbey used a pamphlet on the healing power of marijuana to fan me furiously. Dean came up beside me to help. I pushed his hand away and said, "Please don't."

He stepped back with surprise, not understanding why I wouldn't want his help. As if on cue, AJ appeared from around the corner and stopped dead in his tracks when he caught sight of Dean. Dean instantly became defensive and AJ glared at me, mistaking Dean's attitude as a sign I had told him about what happened.

To make matters worse someone began screaming curse words from a room along the hallway straight ahead of us. I looked up and saw a male nurse flying through the door of a room out into the hallway. A tray of food came flying through just after him and collided with the wall. All of us turned to witness the commotion as Bray came storming out into the hall wearing only his hospital gown, which was open in the back. He was carrying a piece of hospital equipment that had broken off and his IV was dangling from the back of his bleeding hand. Making his way towards us with a furious look, Bray's bloodshot eyes caught sight of AJ and he pointed a strict finger at him. Bray yelled harshly, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU POINT-DIKE BASTARD!"

AJ took off without answering the question. Everyone from the waiting room walked out into the hallway except for Stephanie and Kane. Bray went over to the nurse's desk just across from us. He paid no heed when he leaned over the front desk and his gown opened to reveal his backside as well as some heavy bandaging around his rib cage where he had been stabbed. Bray stated to stunned blonde nurse there, "Be a sweet little sugar bee and buzz off to my doctor! You tell him I'm ready to leave this hell hole!"

The nurse just stared at him with her mouth open in shock. Charlotte giggled next to Kevin like the whole thing was all a big joke. Uncle Trumbly tried to take charge by stepping forward and saying, "Bray, you can't leave until your doctor has cleared you."

Bray whirled around to face us. He put his arms up while he argued with Trumbly, "Yeah? Well, I feel recovered!"

"Bray, don't be a dick, man. Just go back to your room," Kevin stated.

Kane and Stephanie appeared from the waiting room. I felt sick again even being close to Stephanie. I didn't look at her as I tried to focus instead on my breathing. Kane jogged happily over to Bray and Bray put him in a half-hearted headlock. Bray rubbed the top of Kane's head and Bray said in a much softer voice, "Hey, Firefox. You wanna steal an ambulance and ride around with the horn on?"

"Bray Dallas Antonio Augustine Wyatt, you will get back in your room before you blow your stitches," Stephanie scolded him.

I hadn't realized how truly Southern Bray's family was until I heard his whole name.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Ma? I said I didn't want you to come around because you're gonna upset Liz!" Bray argued, pointing at me.

"You think I would just stay home when my oldest boy is in the hospital? I don't care if I'm on trial to be burned at the stake! I'm here for you, just like I've always been," Stephanie shot back, putting her hands on her hips and totally ignoring me.

Bray's voice grew louder when he replied, "You don't want to be here for me! You just want to make a scene and get Liz all riled up because you hate her for no goddamn reason!"

"Why must you insist that I don't care about you?" Stephanie started.

More voices began joining in and soon everyone was arguing. I was beginning to wish I had just gone back to sleep. I slid out of the wheelchair and onto my feet. I turned to walk away, thinking no one would notice me. Seth shouted from out of the crowd, "Liz!"

I ignored him and kept going. I wanted to leave this place and go home. I thought I heard Seth shout again, but his voice was lost in the noise. Suddenly, Bray's booming voice shouted above all else, "LIZ!"

Stopping, I turned around slowly to face him. Bray let go of Kane and shoved Uncle Trumbly aside. Bray came up to me and asked, "What do you think I should do? Should I stay or should I leave?"

I looked back at everyone else. They were all standing there, waiting for me to answer. Stephanie's eyes were as wide as saucers. She was looking at me like I was a demon about to tempt her son into selling his soul. I wanted to do right by my uncle and tell Bray to go back to his room, but then I thought about what that guy in the room next to me had been saying about all of us. I answered quietly, "I think you should go. I overheard someone giving us a hard time, calling us runaways and rapists and murderers just because we're Carnies. You shouldn't have to stay in a place where people don't respect you."

At first, Bray looked angry, like he might ask me who said such things so he could beat them down. Then, he turned around and shouted at the others, "See? This is why I like this dame! She tells me the truth, not some bullshit to get me to do something or to get something from me!"

Before I could comprehend what he was doing, Bray turned back and grabbed me by the back of my neck. He pulled me forward and mashed his lips against mine, launching his tongue into my mouth full force. He was a great kisser, but four days in a hospital had done a number on breath, and it was horribly bad.

Dean and Seth took either side of Bray and tried to pull him off of me while Charlotte whistled from afar to egg us on. Bray let go of me on his own and he shoved both men away. Bray used more force to shove off Seth than he did Dean and Seth fell flat on his face. Bray looked at Dean and said, "Sorry, brother. No disrespect. Just giving her a thank you kiss is all."

Bray walked outside to find the car, allowing his gown to blow open in the strong breeze and taking no mind to cover himself. Trumbly stormed off after him with Marlyn, Kevin, Charlotte and Kane in tow. Stephanie sauntered past me as if I weren't even there. I rubbed my lips with the back of my hand, even though it did nothing for the bad taste in my mouth. Dean held out his hand for Seth, but Seth got up on his own. I asked them both, "What now?"

Seth put his hands into his pockets and said, "I have to leave to catch my flight, Liz. I'm going back home but I'll call you about the results of your sleep test, and I'll be back when the baby's born."

Tears formed in my eyes. I hugged Seth and said, "I wish you could stay."

"I know, but I've got a girl waiting for me back home. Besides, I'm just too much man for you," he replied.

We held each other for a while, then I broke away from him and said, "You can call me whenever. It doesn't have to be about anything important."

"I will," Seth smiled, then he gave me a light, friendly kiss.

"Aw, Liz! Bray's taste on you is disg-ust-o!" Seth pulled away and hacked.

"I know! I need some gum," I covered my mouth and giggled.

Seth waved a good-bye to Dean and walked back down the hallway. I turned to walk out the door. Dean followed me in silence. When we were in the parking lot, we watched from a safe distance while Kevin and Charlotte got into a truck with Stephanie and Kane. Abbey rushed into Trumbly's car with Marlyn while Trumbly argued with Bray in the parking lot over which vehicle to get into. Dean put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him so I wasn't directly in the wind, then he leaned into me and asked, "Are you mad at me for some reason?"

"No. I'm just angry that Stephanie is here," I answered.

Dean sighed and replied, "Bray is her son. She just lost her half-brother, Finn. She has a right to be here and bury her loved one when we get home. That doesn't mean she'll be let off for what she did to you."

He spoke his last words with a darker tone. I looked at him and asked, "Would you hate me if I told you that I had a dream about having a threesome with you and Seth?"

I expected Dean to get mad or say something self-depreciating. Instead, he replied softly, "You know I could never hate you. In fact, that actually turns me on. My fantasy is my lady being satisfied by another guy, remember? Seth's kind of skinny and he's a complete dope, but he's not bad to look at."

"Well, Bray's breath was like death but he wasn't a bad kisser. Maybe I'll take up with him, too," I joked.

"Still sounds hot," Dean remarked.

I shook my head and sighed, "I will never understand you, Dean Ambrose."

He closed his eyes and breathed in through his teeth just an inch from my ear, replying, "Using my full name. Now that's hot. I'm gonna have to request some alone time with you when we get home, Elizabeth Chapfield."

The image from before started to crawl back into my mind, again. Dean and Stephanie. Dean and Stephanie. Dean and Stephanie.

"I can't," I said suddenly, making Dean stop his flirtation.

He leaned back to look at me better and asked, "What?"

"I just..." I started, but Trumbly was coming back to get us so I had to finish quickly so that Dean wouldn't think I was throwing him off.

So I said the one thing I shouldn't have, "AJ came to see me just as I was leaving the hospital room. He grabbed me and he was acting really weird to me until Seth came in and AJ left. It was creepy and I'm totally turned off right now."

Trumbly took my arm and carefully guided me back to the car. Dean couldn't ask me anything more. Dean slipped from my grasp for a moment and I thought he wasn't following us. He took hold of me again when we were closer to the car and we both slid into the back seat next to Abbey. Bray had chosen to ride in the truck. Kevin drove the truck out to the road and Trumbly followed him, all of us riding in silence so that we could settle things when we got home.

I cursed myself for bringing up AJ. I knew it would only upset Dean. It was stupid and kind of selfish. I looked up at Dean to try and determine what he was thinking.

He was just staring straight ahead. Abbey had my left hand. I took Dean's hand in my right rested my head on his shoulder. His muscles were tense and his grip against my hand was like stone.

I began to wonder if AJ was about to be sorry that he ever met me.


	21. Chapter 21

21:

"I'm glad you're here," I told Abbey on the car ride home.

She smiled and squeezed my hand. I asked her quietly, "Is Daddy with you?"

Her smile fell. I already knew the answer before I even asked the question, but the look on her face still made me want to cry. Abbey squeezed my hand again and said, "Honey, I've left your father."

"You did what?!" I shrieked.

Uncle Trumbly swerved the car a little bit, startled by the noise. He glanced at me through the rear-view mirror and replied, "There's no reason to get so worked up about it, Elizabeth."

Abbey brushed my cheek with her free hand and said, "It's alright. I'm fine."

"But you don't look fine!" I argued.

She shook her head and smiled at me. I asked her, "Where will you go? Where will you stay?"

I looked at Uncle Trumbly and said, "We have to let her stay with us! She has nowhere else to go!"

"I've already taken the liberty," Uncle Trumbly informed me.

"Oh, thank you, Uncle Trumbly!" I beamed.

He cleared his throat and drove a little faster. We were coming up on the house and I noticed that thee were a group of Carnies waiting outside for our return. Kevin's truck went ahead of us and parked, first. I noticed that the Carnies were looking through the windows of the truck and some of them were booing and hissing.

"Why are they booing Bray?" I asked, feeling confused.

"They're booing Stephanie," Dean told me.

Uncle Trumbly opened the door and started to get out as he grumbled, "I told them not to get riled up..."

Marlyn turned to face me from the passenger seat and said, "Stay here a moment, Liz. Trumbly needs to break up the crowd."

I didn't really want to sit there, but I was sandwiched between Abbey and Dean and neither one was going to let me out. I watched anxiously through the windshield of the car as Bray kicked open the door to the truck. He stormed out and started yelling at everybody. A few Carnies tried to hug him and welcome him home, but Bray was too busy yelling to care. His gown was still open and his backside was exposed to everyone, which only made him look more crazy. Charlotte and Kevin got out of the truck. Charlotte was laughing while Kevin tried to grab Bray by the shoulders to lead him into the house. Uncle Trumbly was waving his arms and yelling, "Everyone disperse! Now is not the time!"

The Carnies ignored him and a couple of young men in coveralls were trying to get into the truck. Uncle Trumbly and Bray grabbed them to pull them out. The door to the other side of the truck opened and Kane hopped out. He looked scared and he glanced around like he wanted to run, but he stayed put when he realized that Stephanie wasn't trying to run with him.

"Stop this! Stop this, now!" Uncle Trumbly argued.

The Carnies were like an angry mob. A gust of wind blew Bray's gown so hard that it came off and fell to the ground in a heap. Charlotte started laughing so hard that she fell to her knees. Jericho the clown came out of the crowd of Carnies and he scooped up the hospital gown. He tied it around his neck and let the gown float on the wind like a cape while he waved his arms and pretended to fly.

"Oh, my," Abbey put her hand over her mouth and gasped.

"I'm sorry, Momma! This isn't how we usually act around here! Bray is normally wearing clothes!" I blushed.

"It's not that, Baby," Abbey said, then she pointed to where Kane was and added, "I think that woman is in danger."

I looked in the direction where Abbey was pointing. I caught sight of the tall man with the tribal tattoos who had guarded me when Uncle Trumbly got mad. I remembered his name was Roman because it reminded me of history class. I watched as Roman shoved Kane out of the way and Roman reached into the truck to grab Stephanie.

She started screaming and I could see her shifting to the other side of the truck to get away. Roman was big enough that he could still reach for her, easily. Uncle Trumbly ran over to Roman and yelled at him to stop. Bray joined in and tried to grab Roman around the throat, but Roman elbowed Bray right where he was stabbed and Bray doubled over in pain. Kane got mad and screamed, "You can't do that!"

Kane started for Roman. I saw Sheamus run out from the crowd and he went over to grab Kane before he got to Roman. Sheamus whispered something into Kane's ear and he backed off. Uncle Trumbly was trying to pull Roman away from the truck, but Roman had a grip on Stephanie's ankles and he was dragging her out with him.

I looked at Dean and said, "Uncle Trumbly needs help!"

Dean just sat there. I looked at Abbey and asked, "Could you let me out? I have to stop them!"

Marlyn put her hand up to stop me and said, "You don't need another trip to the hospital, Liz. Let the boys deal with it."

I looked back at Dean and shouted, "You're a boy! Go deal with it!"

He still wouldn't move. I reached across his lap and I tried to open the door. He grabbed my wrist to keep me from the handle. I started to climb over him anyway, shouting, "I can't let this happen!"

Stephanie was a freaky bitch but she didn't deserve to be dragged out and thrown around in front of her boys. I felt even worse for Kane. He looked terrified and I hated seeing him like that.

"Liz!" Dean tried to grab onto me to keep me in the car.

"You're hurting me!" I said, pulling my wrist out of his grip.

He wasn't actually hurting me, but I knew that he would let go if he thought he was. He did release me and I opened the door to the car against Marlyn and Abbey's protests. I was trying to step out, but my left leg got caught between Dean's knees and I stumbled. I landed flat on my butt on the ground just as a gust of wind blew my dress up over my head.

I fought to pull it back down so I could see. I could still hear Charlotte laughing, though she had been going so long that her laughter sounded more like a cat trying to hack something up. I heard Kevin say something like, "Shit," and then there was this weird thud.

The wind stopped and I managed to pull my dress away from my face just in time to see Stephanie running right towards me. Her eyes were wild and her fingernails looked like claws as she aimed right for my neck.

Dean stepped out of the car and he moved so fast that I hardly had time to process what was happening. He crouched down in front of me and I saw his left arm swing up like a boxer. He hit Stephanie right under her chin. Her head snapped back and she collapsed in a heap.

Everyone went silent. All except for Kane, who sobbed as he fell to his knees. Charlotte was also wiping away tears, but hers were ones of joy as she desperately tried to catch her breath.

Dean stood up straight and reached out to help me up. I was so stunned that I wasn't sure I could move. He reached down and took hold of my hand. He pulled me up until I was standing with him, then he turned around to face the crowd.

"If all of you had been watching out for Liz like I asked you to when she first came around...NONE OF THIS BULLSHIT WOULD'VE HAPPENED!"

I was caught by surprise. I hadn't even thought of the fact that the crowd was after Stephanie because of me. It was her brother, Finn, who tried to kill me. Stephanie did try to mangle my face, but Miz had done a wonderful job of repairing it. Dean had told me that she would face the consequences of her actions. Still, I never expected it to be this harsh.

I glanced down at Stephanie's body in the dirt. She was out cold but she was still breathing. She looked almost peaceful with her eyes closed and her arms at their sides. Her hair was blowing freely in the wind, at times hiding one side of her face, like I felt I had to hide one side of mine.

A lump developed in my throat. I tried to swallow it down. I felt ashamed for being so stand-offish with Dean, earlier. I kept imagining him with Stephanie and it was making me so sick that I couldn't hardly look at him. I had no idea why I ever doubted him. He had just punched the lights out of his crazy ex-lover just to keep me safe.

Bray, still standing naked and proud, pointed an angry finger at Dean and stated, "You just fucking punched my fucking Ma!"

Kane's sobs could be heard more easily without all the noise. Sami wandered over to soothe him. Bray charged after Dean as he screamed, "I should rip that hair off your fucking face, you fucking motherfucker!"

"Back off, man! He'll knock you the fuck out, same as your Ma!" Kevin moved to stop Bray.

I thought I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around just as three young men breezed past me. They all jumped on Dean and tried to overwhelm him. Bray stopped short when he saw the other guys. Kevin shouted at the guys, "Get the fuck out of my brother's face!"

A couple more guys rushed past me. I couldn't hardly see Dean anymore as they tried to pummel him to the ground. Dean started fighting back. Bray, Kevin and Sheamus joined in.

I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders. I turned around to see Abbey standing there. She told me quietly, "Get into the car, dear."

She tried to lead me back in with her. I would've done what she said if I hadn't looked over to see that Stephanie was opening her eyes.

She was close to the guys and one of them almost stepped on her. Stephanie was having trouble sitting up. I walked over to her and said, "You have to move! You're going to get trampled!"

When she looked up at me, Stephanie's confusion turned to anger. I didn't think she was going to listen to me, but I reached out my hand anyway and she took it. She scooted with her feet while I guided her away from the fight.

If Stephanie was grateful to me for trying to help, she didn't show it. She let go of me when she was a safe distance away and she held her chin. Abbey came around to my other side to help Stephanie to her feet. I looked back at the fight just as one of the guys I didn't recognize kneed Sheamus in the groin.

Sheamus groaned and fell to his knees. His face was as red as his hair. He curled up and held onto his crotch for dear life.

"Hey! That's my friend, you jerk!" I rushed over and tried to knee the guy in the groin so he would know how it feels.

With my pregnant belly, my knee didn't go high enough and I only managed to bump his inner thigh. He started laughing and I got so mad that I slapped his face.

He had a strong jaw and I hurt my hand more than I hurt his face. I grabbed my hand and gasped with surprise. I had no idea slapping somebody could be so painful!

The guy's cheek started to turn pink. Another fist came out of nowhere and punched the guy where I had slapped him. The guy was easily down and out. I turned to face Dean just as he took my hand to inspect it for damage, asking, "Is it broken?"

"I don't think so," I replied, but tears were forming in my eyes from the pain.

"Thunks to ya, Liz," Sheamus whispered as he started to get back up.

Sami came over to help Sheamus to his feet. A stray tear fell down my cheek and Dean brushed it away. Bray shouted from behind him, "You still hit my Ma, you shithead!"

Dean whirled around and yelled, "She wouldn't get hit if she would quit trying to assault my wife!"

The crowd went quiet, again. Even those who were against Dean were stunned.

Dean turned back to face me. His breathing was heavy and his eyes were wild. He looked just as surprised as the rest of us for letting his truth slip out.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck!" Dean punched the car several times as hard as he could.

I knew he wasn't angry for calling me his wife. He was angry with himself for letting people like Stephanie know his true feelings. In this crowd, he was king. He could have any woman he wanted, so long as they were among his people. I was an outsider. I came from a different crowd. My only ties to this place were by blood. The king could have anyone, but he fell in love with me. It made some of his people resentful. He was no longer pure in their eyes. _I_ made him vulnerable. I made his people want to push him off his throne.

Dean stormed off toward the barns. The crowd slowly dispersed. Trumbly had Roman and Sheamus gather up the guys who were beating up on Dean. He told them they would be receiving harsh punishments. They didn't seem to care.

Bray left with Stephanie and Kane. They were headed in the direction of the old caravans. Bray still didn't bother to put any clothes on. His butt cheeks were smeared with dirt and blood.

"Are you sure you're alright, Liz?" Marlyn checked my hand.

"I'm okay. I'm going to find Dean. I'll be back, soon," I told her.

Marlyn nodded. I looked at Abbey and she nodded as well. Abbey had a joyful smile on her face. She didn't care whether Dean was a Carny or not. It made her happy to hear how much he loved me.

"You be careful," Abbey kissed my forehead.

I could still see Dean in the distance as I wandered after him. He disappeared behind the barns and I wondered if I would ever catch up to him. The day was turning into evening. A light breeze was keeping the mosquitoes away.

When I passed the barns, I stopped to look around. I saw Dean sitting by an old tree, leaning against the trunk. He was looking away from where I was, but he turned to see me when I came closer. I stepped over his lap and he guided me by my hips to sit down on him. He shifted himself until he was sure that I was comfortable, then he rested his hands against my backside and asked, "Where'd you come from?"

"A hyper-religious father and a Vegas showgirl mother," I answered literally.

Dean's eyes widened as he asked, "Marlyn was in Vegas?"

"I was talking about Abbey," I joked, making Dean chuckle a little more.

He took my hand and looked it over, again. He frowned as he said, "You shouldn't have hit that guy."

"He was beating up on my friend! I meant to hit him in the balls. My leg didn't go high enough," I frowned to match Dean's expression.

"I should've ripped his balls off and put them in his ass," Dean grumbled.

"Did you mean to call me your wife?" I asked, changing the subject.

Dean sighed like it should be obvious as he replied, "What else would I call you?"

"Usually people call each other fiancee before they're married," I said.

"I hate that word! It sounds like the brand of a kitchen sink!" Dean argued.

I laughed and replied, "Wife does sound better."

He sighed again and said, "I shouldn't have called you that in front of your uncle. I was going to ask him for permission to marry you, first. I'm just going to look like an asshole when I ask him, now."

"I don't think you'll look bad. Abbey thought it was wonderful. I've never seen her look so happy," I said.

Dean locked eyes with me. I leaned in to kiss him, but he took my shoulders to pull me away as he said thickly, "I haven't told you the results of your sleep study."

I had almost completely forgotten about it. I asked curiously, "Why didn't Seth tell me?"

"He said I should do it. He called it somnambulism, or sleepwalking disorder. It can be caused by extreme stress, but he wanted to run a sleep study on you because there can be other problems that cause it," Dean explained.

"Like what? Am I going to die?" I asked.

Dean shook his head and swallowed hard. He continued in a careful tone, "Sometimes, it can be caused by post-traumatic stress. Trumbly called your dad to tell him you were in the hospital. Trumbly asked him about when you started sleepwalking and if you had ever been in an accident or experienced anything that you couldn't handle that might have caused it. Of course, they just fought about it until security at the hospital made Trumbly hang up the phone."

He cleared his throat and went on, "It didn't mean much to me, at first. I figured your dad was just mad that Trumbly would ask him something like that. Then, Abbey showed up. She probably heard your dad arguing with Trumbly on the phone. I thought she was just concerned about you and that's all it was, but she said she left your dad after all this time, and the look on her face..."

"What are you trying to tell me, Dean?" I asked curiously.

His voice broke as he struggled to get the words out, "Your father, he didn't...he didn't...when you were a little girl..."

Dean couldn't bring himself to say the words. I immediately shook my head and replied, "You don't have to say it. My father was controlling and mean and I don't think he was ever very proud of me, but he didn't abuse me like that."

"Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure?" Dean's eyes took on a more angry sense of urgency.

I nodded and told him, "When I was with Seth, it was my first time. I know it because I felt that weird pain down there that the girls at my school said they felt during their first times."

"There are different ways that someone can abuse you without tearing your hymen" Dean started.

I put my hands on either side of his face and told him, "Seth was my first time. I don't know why I sleepwalk, but I'm sure it isn't that."

Dean was still struggling. He confessed to me, "I've been through that, Liz. I know others who have been through it. Some can't remember what happened, but they still suffer. If I find out that your father abused you...I'll break his neck..."

"He didn't. I'm sure of it," I told him.

Dean calmed down a little. I added jokingly, "I wouldn't mind if you broke his neck, anyway."

I was hoping to ease the tension. Dean didn't laugh.


	22. Chapter 22

22:

Dean walked me back to the house for supper. We went upstairs to find Sheamus and Sami asleep in each other's arms. They had taken over Dean's bed, so he shared mine with me.

I snuggled up against him and Dean pressed his nose to the top of my head. He breathed in deeply and whispered, "I love the smell of your hair."

"Your hair smells good, too," I told him as I ran my fingers through the softness on his chest.

"You're a weird chick, you know that?" Dean said.

"What? Why?" I asked, looking up at him.

He chuckled and answered thickly, "I've never known anybody who liked my body hair. People who like me, they put up with it. Sheamus even told me I should try and shave just to see what I looked like underneath it all."

I quickly replied, "I know what you look like! When you're drying it and combing it out in the morning, I can see your skin when the sunlight hits you just right..."

Dean was grinning. I realized that I was admitting to checking him out in the morning when he was naked in front of the vanity mirror.

I blushed and buried my head in his chest out of embarrassment. He reached under to lift up my chin so I would look at him once more. He asked like he really wanted to know, "What _do_ I look like?"

"A man..." I tried to think of something better to say.

He snorted and I argued, "That's not all! You have really sturdy hip bones."

"What?" he shouted too loudly.

I covered his mouth and listened. Sheamus and Sami didn't stir. Dean puckered his lip to kiss my hand. I pulled it away and told him softly, "I mean that you're really strong. Your body...your muscles are..."

"Can you compare me to somebody? Someone I know so I can get an idea of what I look like?" Dean asked.

He sounded mildly impatient, like he didn't think his body and his strong muscles were all that impressive. I closed my eyes and pictured some of the guys I had met since I came here. There was no one in particular that looked like Dean. I opened my eyes and sighed with frustration as I whispered, "No one comes close."

"What about my brother, Kevin?" Dean asked.

I shook my head and replied, "Not at all, really. You both have the same eyes."

Dean scoffed and replied, "My eyes are the only part of me I can easily see."

I could tell he was getting tired of this game. I took in a deep breath and tried to put more thought into it as I replied, "You look like you and Seth could be brothers."

He tensed up. That wasn't what he wanted to hear. I quickly explained, "I mean that in a good way. Seth is attractive. So are you."

Dean eased up a little bit, but his tone remained hard as he said, "I don't think I care what I look like."

I quickly tried to regain his attention by asking, "Do you know Ethan Embry? He's an actor."

Dean thought about it a while before he responded, "Yeah, I guess."

"You look a lot like him. The expressions on your face remind me of his," I said.

Dean was quiet for a long time. I finally asked, "Are you mad?"

He shook his head and replied, "I'm just having trouble remembering what he looks like."

"He's handsome, just like you," I said.

Dean nodded, but he still seemed unsure. I asked him out of curiosity, "What do I look like to you?"

"A fucking bombshell," he didn't even take a moment to think about it.

I giggled and Dean caught my lips between his own. We made out for a while until I felt the baby kick. Dean flinched as well and asked, "What the fuck was that?!"

"He likes you," I replied, putting his hand over my belly.

Dean kept his hand there until the baby kicked, again. He let out an odd chuckle, like he wasn't sure whether to be impressed or terrified that our kissing had inspired the baby to kick at him.

"I wanted to ask you something, but I'm afraid I might sound really stupid," I told him.

Dean took his hand away from the baby so he could wrap his arms around me more securely. He pressed his lips against mine once more, then he whispered when he pulled away, "You're not stupid, Liz."

"I am when it comes to questions about sex," I argued.

Dean let out a sigh and stated shortly, "You're inexperienced. It's smart to ask questions so you don't have to learn the hard way whether you're gonna like it or not."

"What do you mean by the hard way?" I asked.

"What's your question, Liz?" Dean asked instead of answered.

I wanted to argue with him, but I decided against it because he might clam up and then I wouldn't get any answers at all. I explained quietly, "If you and I were to...do it the way that Sheamus and Sami do...from behind, I mean..."

"You wanna know if I could put it in your ass," Dean said bluntly.

"It's not just that, I..." the words got lost behind my bright red face.

Dean must've felt the heat coming from my cheeks. His voice was softer as he replied, "You want to know if it feels good."

"Sheamus and Sami seem to like it...and the girls at school, they talked about it, but only one of them seemed to think it was fun. A few of the girls thought it was disgusting," I explained.

"It's different for guys. Friction is friction," Dean said.

"So...does that mean I won't like it?" I asked.

Dean tensed up once more, but it was for a different reason. His voice was somber as he replied, "I can't tell you if you'll like it or not. Women can have orgasms while being fucked in the ass, but it's more of a guarantee if they're getting massaged in front at the same time."

"You can do that?!" I blurted, earning a chuckle from Dean.

I added quietly, "I sound like a dumb idiot."

"You're not an idiot," Dean stated so sternly that I didn't dare argue with him.

We were quiet for a long time. I thought Dean had fallen asleep until he leaned into my ear and whispered, "If you want to try something, I'm more than willing, but I don't want you putting yourself in positions you're not comfortable with. I've had more experience, but that doesn't mean I've had better."

He pulled me closer to him. I fell asleep and dreamed that Dean was walking me through a crowd of Carnies and townsfolk. He was telling them that I was better than anyone he'd ever had. The men in the crowd were laughing. The women were glaring at me like I had taken away their prize.

:-:

" _Little girl, little girl. Poor, poor, little girl,_ " I heard a female voice chanting.

I opened my eyes. I was looking up at wooden beams. My back was sore as I tried to move. I realized that I had been lying on a wooden floor.

My right arm was asleep. I lifted it to try and shake the feeling back into it. I sat up slowly and looked around. The smell of the room told me I was still in Uncle Trumbly's house, but the room itself was not one I had been in, before.

I looked up at the ceiling once more. The beams looked like part of an attic. Dean's room was in the attic, but his room was finished. This room looked like it was still on the list to be converted.

"Hello?" I called out.

I knew I had heard a female voice before I opened my eyes. I tried to remember if it was just a dream or if it was real. I searched with my eyes, but the room had many shadows and the only light provided was coming through a small window to my left.

It took some time to get to my feet. I continued to look around in search of the female voice. I noticed a door on the opposite wall of the window. I walked over to open it, but I stopped when I heard voices shouting from outside.

The voices were loud enough to be heard through the window. I wandered over to it and peeked out. I could see several male Carnies in coveralls standing on the grass. One of them was Bray. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, "Don't you start without me! She's my Ma!"

I had never seen Bray look so scared. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

He turned away from the other Carnies and Bray started walking back towards the house. The other Carnies began walking out to the barns where the animals were kept. I watched Bray until I couldn't see him, anymore. I tried to wave at him, but he didn't look up. His face was a mess of emotions.

I went back to the door of the room and tried to turn the knob. It made a loud and painful squeak before breaking off completely. I stared at the knob for a few seconds in stunned silence. I couldn't believe my luck. Only I could have gone sleep walking into a room I couldn't get out of.

I let go of the knob. It clanked against the floor and rolled off into a shadowy corner. The noise it made should've alerted someone nearby to my presence, but I heard no other sounds. I began to wonder if anyone was close enough to hear me. I swallowed hard and decided that, if a few minutes of incessant knocking didn't do the trick, I'd try for the window.

Knocking on the door as loudly as I could, I shouted a few times for emphasis. When I got tired, I would listen and wait for signs that someone had heard me. I decided to try the walls after a couple of minutes at the door, but the walls were made of something thick and they didn't make much sound.

"Stupid walls," I cursed them, but they only stared blankly back at me.

I followed the wall with the door all the way to the far corner. I noticed a stack of short wooden beams and old rusty nails. There was an old tool box made of metal that had also rusted out. A few spiders had turned it into a catch-all for moths and flies.

I took it as a good sign. Spiders and bugs meant that there was some way they were getting into this room. I put my hand on the next wall and followed it to the second corner. I was met with an old carnival tent that was brown and white. It smelled like dust and old water stains. It looked like it had been thrown over something to cover it. I dared to tug at the edge of the tent to pull it away.

Moving the tent disturbed a huge sheath of dust, which flew right into my face. I had to cough and rub my eyes for a good minute just to get enough of it away to see.

There was a face in front of me.

I blinked a few times to make sure I was really seeing a face. It looked familiar, like when you see someone that you know from the past but you can't quite place exactly where or when. I took a step closer and realized that the face was made of wood. I looked down and saw a body, also made of wood.

It was a young man carved into a tree trunk. He looked to be in his late teen years or early twenties. He was taller than I was, and very elaborate. Someone had gone through an awful lot of trouble to get all the details just right. The oversize coveralls he wore looked so real. His arms were folded and he had a hard expression, like he had just been told that he wasn't going to get cake for his birthday. His hair was carved to stick up and out in different directions. His eyes were staring right through me, like he would rather pay attention to something more interesting off in the distance.

The carving was definitely Reinhearst. The messy hairstyle gave it away.

It was very similar to what he looked like in the Trumbly & Reinhearst Traveling Carnival poster that AJ had given me for my birthday, but my poster featured an older Reinhearst. I always thought that the sour look Reinhearst had in the poster was because he had seen too many troublesome things and he had gotten bitter in his old age. Now that I saw the same sour look on the carving of his younger self, I began to think that Reinhearst had never seen the sun and thought it was _shining_.

When I reached out to touch the carving, it felt softer than I thought it would. I realized that someone had put an extra coat of sealant on the trunk to preserve Reinhearst's likeness for many years to come. I bent down to look at his feet. Reinhearst wore a pair of old working boots. He stood on a title carved in the wood that stated in clear bold letters: RUBIO REINHEARST.

I noticed that someone had carved in smaller letters underneath: With Love.

There were initials from the carver, but I couldn't make them out. I sighed and told myself, "It was probably carved by Stephanie."

When I stood up straight, I noticed that Reinhearst's carving had a flaw. There was a section to his right that didn't have a coat of sealant. It looked like something had once been attached to him and had since been cut away, leaving a large section of wood open to water damage and time. The front of Reinhearst was amazingly carved, while the back of him was an ugly mess.

I took a few steps back and looked over the carving. It could have been placed on something to attract a crowd. I wondered if Uncle Trumbly even knew this was up here. It looked heavy and I knew I couldn't move it by myself. I made a mental note that I would have to bring him back up to see it.

I put my hand up against the next wall to follow it to the window. I passed the window to check the third corner for any exciting things. There were more rusty nails and what looked like the skeleton of an animal that had died there. I tried not to gag.

After checking the fourth corner of the room and finding it empty, I went back to the window and searched for a way to open it. The top was rounded and had swirls in it like the antique windows do. The bottom was squared off and it looked like it hadn't been touched in years. I reached up to where the lock would be, but I wasn't quite tall enough.

I saw a figure outside and I turned my attention on them. It was Bray, again. He was running from the house out to the barns. I watched as dozens of other Carnies began making their way out of the house to follow Bray. I saw Sheamus and Sami, Miz, Matt and Jeff and even Jericho with the crowd. I tried to knock on the window and get their attention, but they were all facing away from me.

I saw Charlotte moving across the lawn. She was pushing Paul Bearer in a wheelchair. I saw Naomi following after them. Naomi carried a large umbrella in one hand and a pink floral cane in the other, which she was using for support while she walked.

There were so many Carnies that I was sure no one was left in the house. I watched them all make their way to the barns and far away from me.

Rusev and Tamina were two of the last to walk out. Tamina looked back at the house and I waved to get her attention. Rusev said something to her and she turned away before I could catch her eye.

The only person I didn't see was Dean. There was a chance he could still be in the house. Perhaps he was looking for me.

I tried once more to reach for the lock on the window. I couldn't quite get to it. I walked over to the beams in the first corner. They were much too long and heavy for me to try and move one over to the window. I was going to try the tool box, but the spiders glared at me like they had read my thoughts and they were prepared to defend their turf.

My only hope was the door. I went back to it and knocked for a while. I started to get angry and I kicked at the door. I yelled and screamed, but it seemed no one could hear me.

I got down on my hands and knees to peek underneath the door. I could make out a set of stairs that went down. It wasn't very helpful.

I went back to the first corner and reached for the tool box. I apologized to the spiders and tried to pick up the tool box, but it was stuck to the floor.

Time for drastic measures.

I went back to the door knob that I had dropped on the floor. I picked it up and walked over to the window. I told myself I would find a way to pay Uncle Trumbly back for the damages and I swung the knob at the window pane as hard as I could.

The bottom of the window shattered easily. It was loud and some of the glass clanked against the wall on its way down. I realized I hadn't checked to make sure no one else was outside before I broke the window. I ran to it and looked out. Thankfully, no one was there to get hurt.

But no one was there.

"I need help! Please! Help!" I screamed.

As if my cries had been answered, the door to the room popped open a little bit. I went to open it with a smile on my face, but there was no one on the other side. I realized that the breeze from the window must've sucked it out. I left it open as I took the wooden stairs one at a time to get down.

The house was oddly quiet. I felt uneasy and out of place as I wandered the empty halls alone. I realized that the scenery around me was unfamiliar and I must be on the opposite side of the house from where Dean's room was. This was the part of the house I hadn't ventured into, yet. Most of the doors to the rooms I passed were closed. Some were wide open as if people had left in a hurry. I made my way to the dining room. There were plates of food left behind as if people had just gotten up and walked out mid-bite. I didn't know how hungry I was until I saw the food. I took some of the uneaten pieces and ate them.

I thought about going back up to Dean's room. He might be there waiting for me. My curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to know why everyone had gone out to the barns. If I asked Dean about it, he would try to stop me. I turned and walked out the front door.

There were so many people by the barns that a crowd of them was standing outside. They were looking in through the windows and doorways on all sides. Some were fighting for a better view. Whatever they were watching was so interesting that not a single person had turned around to see that I was coming.

All of my friends must've been inside the barn. I thought I heard Dean's voice at one point along the way. He sounded serious and he was saying something like, "She's got one," or, "She's not done."

I started to feel a heaviness in the pit of my stomach. I wrapped my arms around my swollen belly. I could tell that I was walking into something bad, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it.

The closer I got, the more I could hear. Bray was shouting, "She's my Ma! She's my Ma!"

The other Carnies were also making noise. Some were booing, while others were cursing and yelling things like, "She deserves it!"

I heard someone cry out from inside the barn, "She told Finn to go after the girl! After Trumbly's own niece! It's a travesty!"

More boos and cursing followed the statement. I stopped short and listened as another voice yelled from inside, "The girl isn't a Carny! The rules aren't the same with outsiders!"

"She's family! That should matter!"

"She's Chapfield's blood! She ain't got ties to Reinhearst and his kin!"

"How do we know she's even a Chapfield?! Has her blood even been confirmed?!"

Boos and cursing.

"Kick Stephanie out and let her fend for herself! It's more humane!"

"She attempted murder on Trumbly's niece! Marlyn's daughter! She burned the girl's face and told Finn to finish her off! You think he planned to finish her off, easy? She would've suffered! Raped and cut up and whatever else that sick fuck wanted to do to her! All for shits and giggles!"

"Stephanie knew what he was like! She made him go after the girl!"

"She can't be trusted! She's not one of us no more!"

"An eye for an eye!"

"She should hang from the nearest tree!"

"Bitch!"

"Whore!"

"MOMMA!"

I was startled by the last word. I could make out the voice as Kane's. There was more booing and yelling. The scene was beginning to make sense to me. This was the Carny version of a courthouse.

And Stephanie was on trial for trying to have me killed.

I understood what Dean meant about Stephanie not getting off the hook for what she did. I should've known a long time ago that something like this was coming. Stephanie had stepped over the line more than once, and there was no doubt in my mind that she wanted me dead, but I didn't want to see the same for her. Kane and Bray called her Mother. When I imagined my son watching me in the same position, it made me want to do something to stop the whole thing.

I was going to storm into the barn and tell everyone to back off. I made it a single step before someone grabbed my shoulder to stop me.

When I turned around, I saw Abbey standing there.

"Come on, honey. This isn't our fight," she told me soothingly.

I tried to pull away from her. Abbey kept a tight grip on my shoulder. I was surprised that she was being so strong. She grabbed me around the waist and directed me back to the house. Her voice was still calm as she said, "This isn't our fight. We're not from here."

She was absolutely right, but I was still mad as hell that she had stopped me. I fought to break away from her, but she was able to keep me from going back. We made it back to the driveway before she finally let me go.

"Why did you do that? Why did you stop me! They're going to kill Stephanie! Do you understand that? They're going to kill her!"

"Elizabeth, I understand," Abbey nodded her head.

She looked far more mature than I did in that moment. I hated her for it.

"I'm not going to let someone die because of me!" I argued.

Abbey shook her head and replied, "It's not because of you, Baby. She made her choice."

"So you're okay with this?!" I countered angrily.

Abbey looked exhausted as she replied, "I don't have to agree with it, but I can't say I'm sad to know the woman that tried to hurt my baby won't be able to hurt her, anymore."

I didn't really know what to say to that. Tears formed in my eyes. Angry tears. I stomped my feet and I opened my mouth to yell some more, but an old station wagon pulled up into the driveway and I focused all of my attention on it.

"Daddy," I whispered.


	23. Chapter 23

23:

The yelling from the barns was too far away for Daddy to hear. He stepped out of the station wagon and put his focus squarely on me. He was wearing his best church suit with a long overcoat. He even had his black leather hat that he only wore on the most special of occasions. He was showing signs of a beard, though his blonde hair made it harder to see. Daddy was very serious about shaving. I had no idea he could even grow a beard.

"Daddy..." I started to say, but my voice was like a whisper.

"You can't be here, Hefram," Abbey said.

He ignored her and stepped closer to me. He took my right hand between his own large palms and stated, "Elizabeth, I believe I've made a terrible mistake."

"A mistake?" I was confused by hearing the word come from his own mouth.

My father never admitted to making a mistake. Not in all the time I had known him. If he spilled a glass of milk, he would claim that God didn't want him to drink it. If he offended someone, he would claim that they were overreacting. He was stopped once for speeding and he claimed that the officer must've confused his speed with the car ahead of us.

"I should never have left you in the care of your uncle! It is clear to me now that Trumbly has a negative—perhaps a demonic—effect on our family! I've lost you, and now I've lost my dear wife! He has brainwashed those most dear to me and I have nothing left! Don't you see? Don't you understand, my sweet child?!"

I blinked a few times. Hefram pulled me into a bear hug and nearly lifted me off the ground. He made sounds like he was trying to stop himself from sobbing. I immediately told myself that this must be another one of my vivid dreams. My father wasn't a hugger. He definitely never called me sweet. The only thing that sounded like him was calling someone else demonic.

He let me go but kept his hands on my shoulders. The weight of his arms felt heavy on me. I looked up at him and his eyes were bloodshot like he had been crying. His face was twisted in a strange way. My father was not an emotional person.

"Wake up, Liz. Wake up," I squeezed my eyes shut and whispered to myself.

"Can't you see? You're upsetting her!" Abbey tried to come to my defense.

I opened my eyes just as Abbey swatted at my father's palms to get him off of me. He took a huge step back and his face that was twisted with sadness and pain almost instantly morphed back into his usual hard stare.

"I wasn't speaking to _you_ , Abigail," Hefram stated shortly.

Years of being under my father's influence left Abbey struggling with her own internal conflict. She was trying to stare back at him while her body tried to shy away. We were distracted when the voices from the barn could be heard coming closer.

"I'll speak to Trumbly this instant! He will know what it means to betray me!" Hefram shouted.

I opened my mouth to speak, but my father breezed past Abbey and I on his way to the crowd. The Carnies were already in a wound-up state because of Stephanie. If my demanding father stepped in the middle of their mess, there was no telling how bad things would get.

"Momma, please go inside and call the police! Look in every room until you find a phone! Please, hurry!" I told Abbey quickly.

Her mouth was open and she was staring at me in shock. I wasn't sure she heard me until she finally nodded and made a run for it back into the house. I shuffled my way through the yard and after my father. He was always much faster than I was, but he had slowed his pace when he realized that Trumbly was surrounded by other people.

No one had noticed us because their backs were turned. They were focused on the center of their group, where they were yelling and cursing. I saw Stephanie stand up at one point. Her hair was a mess around her face. The red and white dress she was wearing had been torn. Her left breast was almost exposed through the fabric shreds. Stephanie stumbled when someone threw a rock in her direction and I couldn't see her, anymore.

I put my hand over my mouth. I felt like throwing up.

"Daddy, we need to go back in the house," I started.

He sprinted off like a young man at the start of a marathon. I had no idea my father could even run.

I took off after him while trying to watch my step. The crowd of Carnies were headed for a large tree out in the yard. I saw a young man in coveralls step out from behind the tree. He pulled a gun from the front pocket of his coveralls and he waited patiently for Stephanie's arrival.

"Daddy!" I yelled, trying to reach out for him.

I stubbed my toe on the edge of a rock that was sticking out from the ground. I could feel myself starting to fall and I tried to catch my footing while I instinctively held onto my belly. I managed to land on my knees, which was almost more painful than landing flat on my face.

"Elizabeth!" I heard my father call to me in a stern voice.

He reached down to help me up. I was surprised he had even noticed me. It was harder to breathe with all the rushing and I gasped for air. Hefram told me sternly, "You shouldn't be breathing like that! You'll pass out!"

"I'm sorry...Daddy..." I apologized without thinking.

I had almost forgotten how submissive I had learned to be around him until that moment.

Hefram turned away from me and yelled at the crowd, "EXCUSE ME!"

It wasn't a question or a polite statement. He was saying it like he wanted the crowd to excuse themselves for him.

Surprisingly, a few Carnies were halted by the sound of my father's voice, including Uncle Trumbly and Dean. Once they caught sight of us, Dean and Trumbly broke away from the crowd and jogged over to us.

"Momma! Mommmmmmaaaaa!" I could hear Kane wailing from somewhere in the crowd.

The Carnies were getting closer to the tree. I told Uncle Trumbly as soon as he was near enough to hear me, "I told Abbey to call the police!"

"What?!" Trumbly went pale.

Dean ignored my father and took my hand. He glanced down at my knees and asked, "What happened?"

I looked down, but I couldn't see my knees very well past my belly. It was only after Dean said something that I noticed they were stinging a bit. I looked back up at him and said, "We need to stop this! The police are coming!"

"Why did you call the police here?!" Uncle Trumbly argued.

I opened my mouth to explain that I was worried about what my father might do. I wasn't able to get a word out before my father started in on my uncle, "Are you holding a ritual sacrifice out here?! Is that why that woman's chest is exposed?!"

Hefram pointed back at the crowd. Trumbly turned to look just as Stephanie was shoved over to the tree by someone in the crowd. Her dress was nearly gone at that point and her eyes were wild with a mix of rage and terror. She spit on some of the Carnies and one of the men responded by kicking her in the face. Bray came out of the crowd and punched the man who dared to kick Stephanie. The Carny with the gun was still standing by the tree like he was waiting for the order to move.

"Momma!" Kane crawled out of the crowd and into Stephanie's arms.

She rocked him while he sobbed. Bray held his fists up in a boxing position like he was ready to take out whoever might take another shot. I let go of Dean's hand and wandered over to the crowd. They were quieter now that they knew Stephanie's end was near. I could hear my father and Trumbly arguing with each other behind me. I didn't dare look back at them.

I assumed Dean was following me as I made my way closer to Stephanie. She was whispering something to Kane and running her fingers over his scarred face. She didn't look up at me until I was only a few feet away. When she did, her eyes sent a thousand curses.

Miz appeared from the crowd. He must've seen the desperation in my face. He smiled warmly at me and said, "I'm sorry you had to see this, Liz."

"You shouldn't be here! She shouldn't be here!" Bray yelled as he pointed at me.

Stephanie cried out angrily, "Let her see! Let her come and see the fate she sealed for me!"

Some of the Carnies called out in agreement with Stephanie. Dean stood beside me and put his hand on the small of my back. I looked up at him and whispered, "I don't want her to die."

"She tried to kill you, child! An eye for an eye!" a male voice yelled from the crowd.

A few voices rose up in agreement and a fight broke out between some of the Carnies. Naomi and Tamina broke away from the group to stay out of the fight. Miz looked at Dean and I watched as Dean wandered into the crowd and pulled apart the chaos until the only fighting that could be heard was my father and uncle.

I looked at Miz and explained, "The police are coming so my father will leave."

"Police?!" someone yelled from the crowd.

The large group of Carnies suddenly became a stampeded. Clusters of them scattered in different directions. Stephanie held Kane and hunkered down against the trunk of the tree. Bray stayed with them. Dean came to my side and moved me out of the way just as a few Carnies ran by. Sheamus and Sami ran off toward the barns. Tamina was helping Naomi and Paul Bearer as they slowly made their way back to the house. Miz and the Carny with the gun stayed with us.

"Do you know what you've done by bringing the cops here?! You're a stupid, stupid girl!" Stephanie scolded me.

"I'm trying to help you? Don't you get it?!" I argued with her.

She laughed at me. A cold and cackling laugh like the one evil witches make in fairy tales. She couldn't care less whether I spared her or not. It was obvious in the way she glared at me.

I looked at Dean and asked, "Did you lock me in that room upstairs to keep me from stopping the trial?"

"You were sleeping in _our_ room when I left you, Liz," Dean answered.

I shook my head and told him, "No! I woke up in another room! I was on the floor! The knob was broken and I couldn't get out! There was a carving of Reinhearst, and a window to see out-"

Stephanie started laughing, again. Dean turned to her and spat, "What the fuck did you do, you conniving bitch?!"

She stopped laughing and told him harshly, "I knew she'd try and save me, like the little angel everyone wants her to be! I wanted her to see who I'm fighting for! I wanted her to know that her uncle killed his own partner! I wanted her to know the truth!"

Before I had a chance to process what Stephanie was saying, Miz looked at me and explained in a soothing voice, "Your uncle is not a killer, Liz. Rubio Reinhearst died of AIDS complications. There are medical records to prove this."

"You lie!" Stephanie pointed an angry finger at Miz.

She let go of Kane to point at Miz and Kane slumped over onto the ground. Stephanie rolled him over on his back and Bray leaned down to check on him. I took a step forward, but Miz held out his arm to stop me.

"The boy is fine. He has merely passed out," Miz informed me.

Stephanie heard Miz talking to me and she yelled angrily, "Don't you come near my son! You wench! You whore! You bitch! You filth!"

She ran out of things to call me and turned back to focus on Kane. Bray scooped Kane up in his arms and Stephanie used the tree for support as she rose to her feet. The Carny with the gun continued to stand there like he was made of stone. Stephanie shot him a hard look and stated, "Stop looking like you're the hot shit, Bobby Roode! Nobody cares!"

He didn't respond. I looked at Bobby and asked, "Are you really going to shoot her?"

His somber blue eyes drifted over to me, but he still did not respond.

Stephanie let out a short cackle and replied, "He can't talk to you, darlin'! He doesn't have a tongue!"

She laughed more condescendingly like this was some kind of a layered inside joke. Bobby refused to show any sign that he had even heard her.

"Elizabeth! Elizabeth!" my father was calling to me.

I turned around just in time to see that he had moved from his spot across the yard and he had been coming towards me. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me so hard that I felt my neck pop.

"Don't you know what they're doing? Don't you know how they've wronged me!" he was back to his anguished look.

"That's ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous!" Uncle Trumbly argued from nearby.

Trumbly's gait was slower than my father's, but no less urgent. As soon as Trumbly was close enough, he reached out to grab my father's arms so he would release me. My father tried to fight him and I was pushed backwards. Fortunately, Dean saw what was about to happen and he stood behind me so I would fall against _him_ instead of the ground. Dean pushed back against me gently to propel me upright. As soon as I was back on my own two feet, my father turned around and tried to grab me once more.

Dean interfered this time. He turned his hand to one side and made a move I had never seen him do, before. The motion was so quick that it looked like Dean had simply given my father's wrists a little bit of a swat. My father took a big step back and his eyes went wide. His jaw slacked like he was completely stunned. Then, my father shook his hands out and made a pained expression. Dean had obviously used more force than he appeared to.

"Quit grabbing onto her like that! You'll either break her neck or pull out her shoulders!" Dean shot back at Hefram.

My father had only spent a very short time with Dean. He didn't know what Dean could do or how angry he could get. My father was also rarely challenged by anyone. He was great at verbal fights because he always had a comeback. I had never seen someone try to physically challenge him. My father was very tall and he always looked intimidating. It was easy to see from the expression on his face that he was not as skilled with his fists as he was with his words.

The sound of a car pulling up in the driveway could be heard. Uncle Trumbly turned around and started walking back to the house so he could greet whoever appeared. As if a switch had turned on inside of him, my father's expression went back to its default setting of ultra serious. He put his arms down and gave Dean one last hard look before he turned on his heel to follow his brother.

I turned around to see if Bobby was still by the tree with a gun. He was gone.

"Come on, Momma," Bray nodded his head in the direction of the old caravans.

Kane was still passed out in Bray's arms. Stephanie closed her eyes and told him, "I think I'll just stay a while and catch my breath, Son."

Bray nodded at her and walked off toward the caravans. I watched Stephanie for a moment. She looked horrible. Her hair was a tangled mess with sticks and mud in it. Her dress was all torn up and most of her skin was visible from the waist up. She had scratches and old scars everywhere. Her shoes were gone and her feet were black from walking through mud. She smelled like animal poop and her knees were skinned and bloody.

She suddenly looked very old and sad. I told her quietly, "Would you like me to bring you a blanket or another dress?"

Her eyes opened and she looked at me with that same expression she had when I was being held captive in her caravan. It was a strange look that I had never received from anyone else, before. It was not quite contempt or disdain. I could only describe it as a look of deep suspicion, like her mind was unable to process my intentions, so it instead chose to believe that I was not real at all. I was a fraud who stood before her, each word coming out of my mouth a complete lie or an exchange that was only meant to benefit me. A mountain of proof could be placed before her showing that my intentions were good, but she would still refuse to acknowledge that I was only trying to help.

"Do my titties bother Your Highness?" she mocked me with a crooked smile.

I frowned and looked away. Stephanie laughed out loud. I didn't know what to say to her, and she was aware of that fact.

Miz put his hand on my shoulder and guided me away from Stephanie. He said quietly, "You should return to the house, Liz. Tell your father good-bye."

I gave Miz a curious glance, but he said nothing more. He smiled warmly at me and Dean took my other hand to lead me away. I broke away from Miz to look down at the ground so I could watch where I was going. I glanced back only once. I saw Miz leaning down on one knee. He was talking to Stephanie. She was nodding her head like whatever he was telling her really meant something. A part of me was left disappointed. I could never talk to Stephanie the way that Miz did. I wanted to know how he was able to communicate with everyone so easily, even in the most heated situations.

:-:

The car that pulled up in the driveway was the police. The older sheriff and his young female deputy, to be exact.

My father went into his usual mode of _I've got this handled so go away_. The sheriff seemed to know Uncle Trumbly and treated him with respect. Abbey had also probably given the police a story about my father before they arrived so they knew Trumbly was not the problem. The deputy didn't seem to understand the situation as much. She couldn't stop staring at Dean and she kept reaching for her gun whenever my father argued or gestured with his hands, which was often.

Trumbly invited the sheriff and deputy inside. All of the Carnies that ran back to the house after the group dispersed were gone. It looked like we were the only ones living there. The sheriff asked about the lack of occupants. Trumbly had a number of excuses about where everyone was: Naomi is upstairs teaching a crochet class, the men are out in the barns feeding the animals, some are cooking in the kitchen, others are taking naps, and so on.

I noticed that Abbey didn't come out from wherever she was in the house. I wondered if Marlyn was with her. Trumbly took us to his office and asked if the sheriff and deputy would like a seat. The deputy widened her eyes like Trumbly had asked her to take her clothes off.

"I think we'll be on our way, Mr. Chapfield," the sheriff smiled and tipped his hat.

Trumbly led them back through the house and out to the driveway. The sheriff said something to the deputy and she gave him a shocked look. He nodded at her and she went back to their car. The deputy got into the passenger side and closed the door. Her blue eyes were anxious as she watched us through the window.

The sheriff turned to face my father and said, "I should arrest you for being an obvious disturber of the peace, young fellow."

Hefram folded his arms and maintained a stiff upper lip. The sheriff continued, "Seein' as your estranged wife informed me that she filed a restrainin' order upon you, and it appears you came here deliberately to cause a scene – in front of your own daughter, who is with child and does not need the stress – it would be my sworn duty as a protector of the people, and perhaps my own personal pleasure, so see you locked away in a jail cell for as long as it takes for me to decide you're not going to piss me off, again."

My father stayed quiet. The sheriff let out a long sigh and said, "However, I have observed your daughter's face while we've walked, and it has come to my attention that she is concerned about your well-being. I'm sure you are a great burden upon your family, Sir. I would consider it an even greater burden for this young lady to be worried for her Daddy spendin' time behind bars in the company of other unfriendlies. That being said, I will withhold an arrest at the promise that you will get back in your car and leave this damn household alone!"

Hefram was quiet for a long time. The sheriff's face started to redden and he was losing his patience. Trumbly finally spoke for him, "My brother will do as you say. He's getting in to his car as we speak."

Trumbly shoved Hefram from behind to get him going. Hefram opened his mouth to yell, but glanced at the sheriff and thought the better of it. I watched as my father got into his car and left me for the second time.

This time, I was content with seeing him go.

"I'll be seein' you, Trumbly," the sheriff tipped his hat to him.

"Thank you, Sherman," Trumbly nodded back.

"Dean," Sheriff Sherman tipped his hat.

"Sir," Dean nodded back.

"Miss Chapfield," Sheriff Sherman tipped his hat to me.

"Thank you, Sir," I nodded back.

"You call again if you're in anymore trouble, you hear?" Sheriff Sherman said to me.

I nodded and he added, "I've got a baby crib made of real wood up in my attic, somewheres. The wife and I won't be needing it. Stop by the station next time you're in town. I'll have my boys haul it out here; no charge."

"Oh, I don't want to take advantage, Sir," I started.

"It's no problem. Surely," Sheriff Sherman replied.

I thanked him again and he turned to go back to his car. He tipped his hat once more at us before getting in to leave.

"I'll have the crib picked up for you by tomorrow, Liz. There's no need to wait until the next time you're in town," Uncle Trumbly told me.

"Thank you," I smiled.

Trumbly motioned for us to go back inside as he said, "I'll finish things up with Stephanie."

"You're not going to kill her, are you?!" I blurted.

Uncle Trumbly frowned at me like I was being overly dramatic. He told me like it should have been easy enough to understand, "That woman was tried and convicted by her fellow peers! She knows the consequences of her actions and she will get exactly what she deserves!"

"But Uncle Trumbly, you can't!" I argued.

"What would you like me to do, Elizabeth?! If I do nothing, my respect is all but lost! No one will believe I have an ounce of conviction! Besides, what's to stop her from trying to kill you? Do you think she will stop? Do you think she has learned her lesson?!"

Angry tears formed in my eyes as I argued, "She'll be dead because of me! Kane and Bray will lose their mother because of me!"

"It is not because of you, and I will not have you feeling guilty for the death of an attempted murderess!" Trumbly countered.

I shot back, "It _is_ because of me! If I had left with Daddy just now, then you wouldn't have to worry about her coming after me!"

"Enough of this!" Dean shouted.

Trumbly and I turned to face him. He was giving me a hard stare.

"You are _not_ leaving, Liz."

He said it like the decision was already made. I clenched my fists and argued, "You don't get to say whether I'm leaving or not!"

Dean let out a short chuckle and replied angrily, "Where the hell do you think you're going to go?!"

I was so mad at him that I couldn't even speak. I stormed back into the house and upstairs to Dean's room. I grabbed the blanket and the pillow from my bed. I looked at my goldfish to tell him I was sorry for leaving.

He was upside down and very dead.

I started sobbing as I ran out of the room. The blanket was dragging along the floor as I found Naomi's room. I opened the door and started to come in, but I was surprised to find that there were other women and two young males there with her.

Naomi really was teaching a crochet class.

She gasped when she saw me and asked, "What's the matter, Sugar?"

"Nothing!" I answered in a shrill voice that made it easy to tell I was lying.

I slammed the door and kept going down the hall. I knew I would run into Dean eventually, so I went into Paul Bearer's room and shut the door.

He was part of the crowd earlier, but I found him sitting in his rocking chair and staring out the window like he had never moved. He didn't look at me as I threw my blanket on the floor and dumped the pillow on top. I laid down and told Paul, "I'm going to stay with you for a while, if that's alright."

Paul didn't answer me. I took that to mean he wasn't against it.


	24. Chapter 24

24:

I laid on the floor a short time before I started to get hungry. I had only eaten some scraps of food for breakfast and I had completely skipped lunch. The last time I had something to drink was the previous night. I stubbornly tried to forget my hunger pains. I knew Dean would find me as soon as I came out of Paul Bearer's room.

"It's really stupid, you know," I told Paul as he sat next to me in his rocking chair and stared out the window.

He said nothing, so I just started rambling, "Everyone here just thinks they can make up their own rules! Is that a Carny thing? I'm not even sure why there are rules in the first place if it's all about being free and flying your freak flag without judgment!"

Paul still said nothing. I sat up a little bit to peek at him. His eyes were open and he was breathing steadily. I laid back down and continued, "I don't even think my father had so many rules! That's crazy because he loved rules! They were his favorite things to make!"

I went on for a long time. Paul never interrupted or argued or made me feel stupid. He didn't even fall asleep like I thought he would. He just rocked in his chair and stared out the window.

The sun was going down by the time I ran out of things to vent about. Paul was still rocking in his chair I was definitely getting hungry. I also needed a bathroom break. It took me a while to get up off the hard floor. I realized that I hadn't even bothered to ask Paul if he needed a bathroom break, as well.

"I'm sorry, Paul! I've been a terrible friend to you!" I frowned.

His eyes drifted up to meet mine, but he said nothing. I remembered Charlotte had taken him out to Stephanie's trial in the barns. She was pushing him in a wheelchair. I looked around for it but I didn't see one. I realized that I couldn't get him down the stairs if I managed to find his chair.

"I really am very bad at this," I grumbled to myself.

I decided to take my chances and go out into the hallway. I opened the door to find Charlotte standing there with a tray of food. She pushed past me to give the food to Paul. Charlotte set the tray in his lap and turned back to face me. She folded her arms and stated harshly, "Dean is looking for you!"

She made it sound like I was hiding out for no reason and I was upsetting Dean in the process. I shot back at her, "You can tell him that I don't want to see him!"

"I'm not your messenger hawk!" Charlotte countered.

She stormed out before I could argue that the term is usually messenger _pigeon_. I walked out behind her and asked, "Is dinner ready?"

Charlotte hung her head back to laugh and called over her shoulder, "I'm not bringing a tray up to you if that's what you want!"

She was definitely in a bad mood. Charlotte seemed to be worse when Dean was concerned about me. It was probably because he wasn't paying as much attention to her.

"I'm going downstairs! I was just asking if it's time!" I told her.

Charlotte didn't answer me. I followed her regardless, knowing that she would lead me to the dining room if it was time for dinner. As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I could see a huge group of Carnies scrambling for their turn at the table. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who had skipped lunch.

"Get out of the way!" Charlotte elbowed and kicked until she had disappeared into the throng.

I tried to slip in behind Charlotte, but the Carnies saw my attempts to break through and they retaliated by squeezing together. I could barely breathe trying to get in, so I scooted my way back until I was spit out of the crowd and flopped against the far wall behind the stairs.

At this rate, I wouldn't see food for hours. Knowing the way Carnies ate, I probably wouldn't get any food at all. I looked around for signs of a familiar face. I thought if I could find Sheamus or Sami or Brita or Miz, they would certainly let me in. The only face I recognized was Kevin's and I didn't think he would be very helpful.

I turned around to go back up the stairs. I was only on the first step when I looked up and saw Dean coming down.

I panicked and _froze_.

He had already seen me. If I tried to run away from him again, I was guaranteed to go hungry. I thought I could take it, but my baby couldn't. When Dean came near, I opened my mouth to tell him I was still mad at him. He didn't give me the chance. He took me by the hand and led me straight into the crowd. Some of the Carnies noticed him and backed away. Those who didn't received a blast of his roaring voice, "FUCK OFF!"

The Carnies made a space for us to get through. They didn't dare look at Dean, but a few of the Carnies gave me a hard stare for getting ahead of them.

We made it to the table and Dean waited for me to sit down. I did and he remained standing. I didn't know why until a young woman came out from the kitchen with large pans full of food and the Carnies went into a frenzy.

I put my arms over my head to avoid the debris as food started flying everywhere. The rolls broke apart and crumbs scattered the table. A bowl of coconut shavings fell off the pan and flew around us like a fresh snow fall. A chocolate cake fell flat on the floor and a Carny elbowed me in the back so he could get behind me to grab a piece.

Dean punched the Carny who elbowed me. A young man came out of the kitchen behind the woman with another tray of food. Someone came out from under the table and practically attacked the man for the tray. Several other Carnies joined in and the tray went flying. It clocked Dean in the head and he rubbed his hairy face. There was blood between his fingers when he pulled his hand away.

"Dean! Oh my God!" I stood up in my seat to check on him.

I leaned forward to get a better look and inspected his scalp between my fingers. I found the scrape that was bleeding and I put pressure on it. I didn't realize that Dean's face was almost buried in my chest until I leaned back. I was a lot less tense as he looked up at me and asked, "Is it bad?"

"Just a scrape," I told him.

I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head just in time to see a plate coming my way. I screamed and ducked down to avoid it. The plate hit the wall behind me and shattered.

"We gotta get out of here," Dean said.

He grabbed me by my hips and pulled me into him. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and Dean charged back into the crowd. He was going fast enough that they didn't take any chances and moved aside to let us through.

There were other Carnies coming down the stairs and through the front door. Dean turned down a hallway where I had never been, before. We moved past a series of rooms. The hall was dark and there was some drywall on either side that hadn't been put up, yet. Dean kicked open the door at the end of the hall and I felt the warm breeze of the outside air as we made it to the backyard.

Dean kept walking until we were a short distance from the house. I asked as soon as he put me down, "Is your head okay? Does it hurt? Are you dizzy?"

"I'm fine," he shook his head.

I reached up to find the scrape so I could make sure it was no longer bleeding. Dean pulled me into him and gave me a long, hard kiss. When he broke away he said, "I don't want you to think that I'm keeping you here against your will. I just don't want you to leave. I don't want you to leave. Please don't leave."

"I don't want to leave," I replied.

Dean pulled me into another kiss that was more desperate than the last. He pulled away and added, "I'll do whatever you want. I'll be whatever you need. Just don't leave _me_."

"I'm not leaving," I shook my head.

He seemed unconvinced. He kissed me again and again until we both had to come up for air. Dean pressed his forehead to mine as he whispered, "I really want to fuck you, now."

"I want you, too, but I really need to use the bathroom, first," I informed him.

I hated to ruin the moment, but there was no way my bladder could withstand it. Dean glanced around and asked, "Could you go in the grass?"

He pointed off to his left where some tall grass was. I could easily do my business without anyone seeing. I started for the grass and Dean came along as if he intended to follow me. I turned around and said, "Just wait for me, here."

"There might be snakes in there," Dean pointed out.

"Snakes?!" I gasped.

Dean was starting to lose his sense of whimsical desire. He sounded more stern as he said, "This was a bad idea. I'll take you back to our room and you can go, there."

"I'll be fine! I'll be really careful!" I argued.

Dean made a frustrated sigh and countered, "God! You are so stubborn!"

"As if you aren't!" I shot back.

He didn't have a counter-attack for me, so he just glared at me until I turned away and walked into the grass.

Dean somewhat kept his distance, but he picked up a stick and stayed closer than I was comfortable with as he whispered harshly, "Be careful!"

It was dark and I was having trouble being that careful. I imagined the snakes would look like a dark mass on the ground, but the shadows of the moonlight played tricks on me and everything I looked at appeared to be a dark mass. I finally picked a spot and reached up my dress. Dean was still watching me and I told him, "Turn around!"

"You think I don't know what you're doing right now?" he argued.

"I don't want you watching me pee! It's embarrassing!" I countered.

Dean let out another long sigh of frustration. I waited until he finally turned around. As soon as I squatted down, he looked over his shoulder and said, "You tell me if you're having trouble."

"What are you gonna do? Karate-chop me until my pee comes out?!" I screamed at him.

"I'm not fucking joking, Liz! There could be snakes or other critters around!" he turned on his heel and started for me.

"Don't come any closer or I'll poop in my hand and throw it at you!" I warned him.

He stopped short and argued, "You wouldn't do that!"

"Gorillas do it! Why can't I?!" I shot back.

He didn't come any closer, but he refused to turn around, again. Once I finished, I was having trouble getting back up from the squatted position with my heavy belly in the way. Dean asked shortly, "Do you need some help?"

"No!" I stated.

"I'm not worried about getting your piss on my boots, Liz! I'm worried about your well-being!" he argued.

I ignored him and sat forward so I could push off the ground with my hands. I wasn't exactly struggling, but I was moving too slow for Dean's taste and he stormed over to guide me upright.

"Why didn't you tell me you were having trouble?" he asked with a little more concern.

"I'm not having trouble. I was lying on a blanket on the floor in Paul Bearer's room. I was also lying on the floor of a room when I woke up, this morning. I'm just a little sore but it's no big deal," I told him.

"Which room were you in, Liz?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. I'd never been in it, before. It was in the attic, a lot like ours is, but it just had a window and some old stuff and a wooden carving of Reinhearst when he was younger."

"Who put you in that room?"

"I thought you did!"

"Why would I put you in a room on the floor?"

"Because you didn't want me to come out and interrupt Stephanie's trial!"

"I wouldn't do that to you, Liz!"

"Well, who else would?!"

Dean didn't seem to have an answer for that. He mumbled under his breath, "Stephanie copped to knowing about it but she couldn't have been the one to put you there. If I didn't now better, I'd say it was Bray."

"It wasn't Bray," I told him, adding quietly, "I saw him through the window. He was running off to the barns. He was so worried about Stephanie that he wasn't thinking about anyone else."

I felt sad as I looked up at Dean and asked, "Is she dead?"

Dean nodded and I started to cry. He held me in his arms as he told me sternly, "No use crying about it, Liz. She was a Carny all her life. Born into the trade. A death sentence is better than being shunned by your own kind."

I looked up at him with a confused expression. He explained further, "If Trumbly had asked her to leave, she would've had to find another troupe. Word would've spread to all of them what she did. Nobody could trust her. She would've been banished over and over, again. Kane and Bray, too, if they had gone with her. She would've been a black mark to herself and her boys. For a Carny, dying by the hands of your own is fine, so long as your kin have a place to call home."

He wiped away the tears I had, but I couldn't help still feeling guilty. I asked Dean quietly, "Does she have a resting place? A grave site?"

"Bray will bury her in an unmarked grave on the property. We're not allowed there. Only her family are allowed to visit."

I nodded and Dean took my hand to lead me back inside. He told me softly, "I don't know why you care so much. I've never met a woman from a background as black as yours who shined so brightly in the face of other people's darkness."

"Guess I'm just stupid," I said.

"What have I told you about calling yourself stupid?" Dean's frustration level started to rise once more.

"Sorry," I stated shortly.

Dean sighed but said nothing.

:-:

Dean took me back to our room and I stayed in bed while he went downstairs to get some dinner. He came back a short time later with food. We ate our fill and I rolled over to sleep. Dean climbed in beside me and I snuggled up against him. He told me just as I closed my eyes, "I'll get you another goldfish."

"It's alright. I don't think I want another one right now," I replied.

I listened to him breathing until I fell asleep.

 _I was dreaming that my father came back once more. He ignored me and Abbey, instead professing his love for Charlotte. My father got down on one knee and proposed to her. Charlotte was so happy, she began to sing. She was off-key and her voice got louder and louder. Everyone was miserable but my father acted like the sound of Charlotte's voice was the most beautiful noise he had ever heard. He laughed while she sang. I just wanted to puke._

Charlotte's strange singing was still ringing in my ears when I woke up.

I sat up in bed, but it was clear the bed was not mine.

The singing was still loud.

I looked around and saw dozens of bird cages hanging from the ceiling.

All the birds were singing at once, making the sound hard to bear.

I put my hands over my ears. A woman with extremely pale skin and long dark hair came through a doorway across the room to my right. She was wearing a black robe that hung open to reveal a beautiful body and striking black lingerie. She smiled at me and shouted in an English accent, "You must be Liz!"

"What?!" I took my hands away from my ears.

"Eli-za-beth!" she screamed at me.

I nodded and she came over to me. She reached her hand out and shouted, "I'm Paige! So nice to meet you!"


	25. Chapter 25

25:

I held out my own hand and Paige twined my fingers with her own. Her handshake was soft and polite; much like her smile. She held my fingers a second or two longer while she studied me with her gaze. She smelled like roses and cloves. Paige turned away and walked back to her vanity mirror. The birds were still singing away and my ears were starting to hurt. I was nice and warm under a huge comforter of various pastels and I didn't want to climb out, but I had to do something about the noise.

Paige took something from her vanity and came back to me. She handed me a pair of headphones with puffy ears and shouted, "Put these on!"

She motioned to her ears and smiled. I quickly put the headphones on. I could still hear the birds singing, but it was much quieter and more soothing.

"Thank you," I said.

Paige watched my lips and nodded her head. She turned away and walked back to her vanity once more. I laid back down so I could see the bird cages coming down from the ceiling. There were all different sizes, colors and shapes of cages suspended by chains and cables. Some of the cages were on hooks, while others seemed to be free-floating through something deep within the ceiling. I tried to identify the birds within the cages, but they were all moving too quickly for me to even guess. Most of the birds were small and it looked like there were pairs of two or four in each cage. They were all different colors. Each corner of the room had a large cage that housed one or two more exotic looking birds. The larger birds did not appear to be singing, but they were moving and chattering as if the noise didn't bother them.

I was surprised that the room didn't have a strange odor with all the birds around. A floral scent seemed to be everywhere and it was very pleasing. I glanced at the floor to see if there were any bird droppings. I was barefoot and I didn't think Paige could keep track of every bird mess that might slip out of their cages. I didn't see any droppings and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Paige was putting on some eye liner and she smiled at me through the reflection in the mirror. I smiled back and waved at her. She mouthed something through the mirror, but I didn't know what she was saying. She picked up a silver platter of something from the vanity dresser and brought it over to me. They looked like little pancakes but she moved her lips to say, "Crum-pets!"

I nodded and took one. It had something like honey on it and it tasted very sweet when I took a bite. Paige shouted to me, "Break-fast!"

"Good!" I called back and gave her a thumbs-up.

She smiled and pointed at the plate for me to take another. I grabbed one but she was still pointing so I took another. She didn't seem satisfied until I had taken at least four, then she put the platter down in my lap like she wanted me to eat whatever I wanted.

I put the ones I took back on the platter while Paige turned away. I started to pick the platter up. I was going to tell her that I didn't want to take her whole breakfast, but she came back with a tall glass of milk and handed it to me. I put the platter down and took the milk. I opened my mouth but Paige turned to walk away and went back to the vanity.

I took a drink of the milk. It was warm and tasted very fresh. Paige took something else from the vanity and held it up for me to see. It was an orange that hadn't been peeled, yet. She looked at me for approval and I nodded. Paige walked back over and handed it to me. I once again opened my mouth to protest, feeling like a pig for taking all of her food, but she waved away the words before I could get them out.

Paige once again went back to her vanity and began working with some powders for her face. I watched her while I ate. She looked so beautiful and she moved so freely. She reminded me of someone from a fairy tale with all the birds around. Her walls were covered with silk curtains save for a large window to my left, which was open wide to let all the sunlight in. I looked out the window and I noticed we were on the first floor. We were on the side of the house that I usually didn't venture off to. The only furniture in the room was the large vanity where Paige was. A bathroom door was just to the right of the vanity. On the left was a short hallway that led to the bedroom door. I also noticed that I was in a large bed and there was a second bed to my right. My bed was very pretty and feminine, while the other bed had darker covers and looked very masculine. I wondered if Paige had a roommate.

As if my thoughts were heard aloud, I saw the bedroom door open and a very large man walked through. I recognized him as Roman because of the complex tattoo that ran up his arm and disappeared beneath his black vest. I wondered how much of his body was tattooed and if it was painful.

Roman didn't look at me but walked over to Paige at the vanity. He looked agitated as he leaned in closely enough to speak without raising his voice. I watched Paige shrug like whatever he said wasn't that important to her. Roman clenched his jaw and Paige went back to her makeup.

He moved past her and into the bathroom. Roman slammed the door to the bathroom. I looked at Paige through the mirror. She smiled and imitated my thumbs-up from before as if to motion that all was well. I glanced back at the bedroom door that Roman had left wide open. Nobody came in after him and Paige didn't seem at all concerned with the fact that she was still in an open robe wearing black lingerie.

I ate way too many crumpets and drank the whole glass of milk. I was going to get out of bed when the bathroom door flew open and Roman stormed out. He stopped when he saw me and he frowned. He looked like he hadn't noticed me until that moment. Paige turned away from him and went to one of the wall curtains by the window. She pulled the curtain open to reveal a large antique wardrobe. Paige opened it and leaned in to search for something. Roman still looked agitated as he stormed over to her. He was so tall that he bumped a couple of the bird cages along the way.

The birds screeched in protest. I watched as Roman leaned in again to try and talk to Paige. She was still leaning into the wardrobe and Roman's position right behind her looked a little compromising. I started to feel uncomfortable, thinking that I was witnessing a private conversation.

I moved again to get out of bed, but Paige suddenly snapped her head back and hit Roman in the nose. He backed up and grabbed his face. My eyes widened while Paige acted like it was no big deal. She took a yellow dress from the wardrobe and walked over to me. Paige took the tray from my lap and replaced it with the yellow dress. She smiled and nodded.

I looked down at the dress. It was very soft to the touch and it shined like silk in the sunlight. I glanced at myself and I realized I was the dress I had fallen asleep in was smudged with something brown like dirt. I looked back up at Paige and shouted, "Oh my!"

Roman stormed out of the room. I watched him leave and looked back at Paige. She was already going back to the vanity with the tray and empty glass of milk. I got up and held the dress out so I didn't get it dirty. I walked over to Paige and she pointed at the bathroom.

I went into the bathroom and closed the door. The bird songs were a little quieter. I checked myself in the bathroom mirror and I realized my face was also smudged with dirt. The side of my face that Stephanie had tried to ruin was mostly healed. I could still see some light scarring around my cheekbone and by my lower lip. I touched the skin with my fingertips. I could feel the scars just slightly. The scars weren't exactly ugly to me, but I was aware that my face no longer carried the natural beauty that it used to have. I made a mental note to ask Paige if I could have some of her makeup for touch-up reasons.

I put the dress down on the edge of the sink and used the toilet. I decided not to shower since I hadn't yet told Dean where I was and I needed to find him as soon as I could. The dirt covered the front of my dress and my face. I took my dress off and put it on the floor. I was grateful that I didn't smell bad and I hadn't smudged Paige's bed.

While rinsing the dirt from my face, I heard the sounds of arguing through the birdsong. I took my headphones off to listen a little better, but the birds were still too loud and I had to put the headphones back on. I still had my underwear on but no bra. I wondered if Roman had come back and I went to the bathroom door to try and lock it.

The knob started to turn just as I was about to lock it. I stepped back and covered my front as I shouted, "I'm in here!"

There was more shouting and the knob stopped turning. I grabbed the yellow dress to put it on quickly. I stepped into it and I was about to lift it up when the door opened slightly and Dean stepped in. I instinctively covered my breasts until he had closed the bathroom door behind him. I lowered my hands and came down for my dress. Dean went down on one knee and grabbed it for me. He lifted it up and waited for me to put each arm through the straps. He anchored the dress nicely over my shoulders, then he looked at me with a sense of concern.

I pointed at my other dress on the floor. He went over to pick it up. He looked it over and frowned. The bathroom door suddenly burst open and Sheamus ran in. He saw me and scooped me up into his arms. He twirled me around and set me back down. When I looked up at him in confusion, Sheamus just looked back at me with a mix of surprise and relief as he shook his head.

I looked at Dean, but his expression was in its usual _hard to read_ state. Sheamus held the door open and I wandered out of the bathroom. Roman and Paige were arguing at her vanity. I couldn't really hear what they were saying with the birds everywhere.

Roman picked up something from the vanity and threw it across the room. I ducked down to avoid any debris. Paige picked up the empty glass of milk and threw it at Roman's head. He turned away to avoid it and the glass thudded against the curtain along the wall behind him.

Dean took me by the shoulders and directed me to the bedroom door. Sheamus came ahead of us and I followed him. I could hear Roman and Paige still arguing as we walked out. When we reached the hallway, Dean pulled the headphones off my ears. He tossed the headphones back into the room and closed the door.

There was a loud thud like someone fell against the wall. I looked at Dean and asked, "Should we go back in and stop them?"

"They're jus' playin' a role," Sheamus said.

"What do you mean?" I asked Sheamus.

"It's a game, Liz. They want to hurt each other," Dean answered before Sheamus did.

"But what if they go too far?" I was still worried.

Sheamus snorted laughter. I wasn't trying to be funny. I started hearing some weird groaning sounds coming through the wall, followed by thudding sounds that had more of a familiar rhythm.

"Oh," I mumbled as I hurried away.

My cheeks were still hot as I made my way down the hallway with Sheamus and Dean following after me. Dean called out, "I'll get you some breakfast."

"I already ate," I told him over my shoulder.

Sheamus let out a sigh and replied softly, "Crumpets."

He made it sound like they were wonderful and he wished he'd gotten some. I turned to face him and said, "I'm sorry I didn't save you any. I didn't know you were coming."

I was headed to the stairs, but Dean took my hand to stop me. He told me sternly, "You need to come with me."

"Am I in trouble?" I asked.

Dean shook his head, but he had a weird look on his face. I followed him and Sheamus tagged along. I saw Uncle Trumbly as soon as we came outside. His back was to me and he was looking down at something on the ground.

Or rather, _in_ the ground.

As we came closer, I could make out a large hold in the earth. There was a stick beside the hole that looked like it had been used to dig. Uncle Trumbly turned around and shouted as soon as he saw me, "Elizabeth!"

He sounded more relieved than mad. I couldn't understand why everyone was acting like I had just returned from a risky voyage and they were relieved to see no harm had come to me. I glanced down at the hole and I noticed it wasn't very deep. It probably would've gone mostly unnoticed except that there was something unusual inside of it.

 _A goldfish._

The fish was dead and lying on its side. At first, I thought it was _my_ goldfish.

"Uncle Trumbly, why did you try to bury my goldfish?" I asked him.

He looked at me and answered, "I didn't do this, Elizabeth! You did! And this is not your goldfish!"

"What?!" I asked with surprise.

Dean came around so he could face me. He explained everything, "Yesterday, after we argued, I went back to our room and I saw that your goldfish had died. I flushed it down the toilet and went looking for you. I thought you had seen the goldfish and you were very upset about it. Naomi said you came to her room but you left because she had company. I didn't know where you were. We found each other again and before you went to sleep last night, I told you I would get you another goldfish. You said you didn't want one."

I nodded and Dean continued, "You woke up during the night. I thought you were sleepwalking, but you said you needed to use the bathroom, so I thought you were awake. You went into the bathroom and closed the door. I must've fallen asleep again, because when I woke up, you weren't in the bathroom."

"I don't remember that," I said.

Uncle Trumbly put out his hand and replied, "It's alright, Elizabeth."

Dean breathed through his nose like he was frustrated. He explained further, "I was looking for you when Matt and Jeff Hardy stopped me. They told me someone had stolen Jeff's goldfish."

I swallowed hard as Dean went on, "I thought you had probably taken the goldfish back to our room and put it there while you were sleepwalking. Jeff's small fish tank was gone too, so I though the goldfish was still alive. I went back to our room but you weren't there. Jeff's fish wasn't, either. That's when Sheamus came up to tell me he found a tank in the yard."

"Oh, no!" I cried, covering my mouth with my hand.

Tears formed in my eyes. I felt absolutely sick to my stomach. There were only a few times that I had ever carried things with me while I was sleepwalking, but I had never accidentally killed an animal in the process.

"It was an accident, Liz," Dean pulled me into a hug.

"I feel terrible! I'm so awful! I can't believe it!" I sobbed.

Uncle Trumbly cleared his throat. I tried to choke back my tears and pull away from Dean so I could listen to what he had to say. Trumbly sighed and told me, "Jeffrey isn't taking this personally, Elizabeth. I'll replace his tank and give him the money to buy another fish. For now, we'll just cover this one up and consider him buried."

Dean added quietly, "I didn't know you wanted to bury your goldfish or I would've kept its body, Liz. I'll be more careful about asking you what you want before I do things that involve you."

"I didn't think I wanted to bury him! I can't believe I did this! I can't believe it!" I was still in shock.

Sheamus tried to calm me by saying, "Yew were tryin' ta grieve yer pet, Liz. This one's buried ta show yer loss. So long as we leave it be, there's no need for ya to bury another."

I nodded but I still felt awful. Sheamus pushed the dirt over the fish and covered it up. I looked at Uncle Trumbly and asked, "Where is Jeff? I want to tell him myself how sorry I am."

"There's no need, Elizabeth," Trumbly answered.

"No, but I should, Uncle Trumbly! He might think I don't care if I say nothing!" I told him.

Dean shook his head and replied, "He doesn't think that, Liz."

"I think I need to go for a walk," I said quietly.

"I'll come with you," Dean immediately replied.

I took a couple of steps away before Uncle Trumbly said, "You wouldn't mind going into town, would you?"

"For the crib?" Dean asked Uncle Trumbly.

I had almost forgotten about the crib that Sheriff Sherman had offered me. The sheriff talked about having it delivered to the house, so I asked Dean curiously, "Do we need to pick it up?"

"I'll get Bray," Sheamus said.

Dean nodded as an answer to my question. Uncle Trumbly leaned into Dean and whispered something I couldn't hear. Dean called back to Sheamus, "I'll head out with Liz. Sheriff and his deputies can help me load it."

Sheamus made a curious expression at first, then a look of recognition crossed his face and he waved a good-bye to both of us.

"Be on your way, now! There's a chance of rain this afternoon," Uncle Trumbly pulled some keys from his pocket and handed them to Dean.

I followed Dean across the yard to an old red pickup. Dean opened the passenger door for me and helped me into the seat. He came around and got in on the driver's side. I had yet to see Dean's driving skills. I imagined him as one of those guys who could speed while still keeping himself on the road and on high alert.

I was completely wrong.

The drive into town usually took about 45 minutes. It had already been 30 minutes and Dean wasn't even at the halfway point.

"Aren't you going a little bit too slow?" I asked, trying my best not to sound too judgmental.

I didn't want to tell him that I was super bored and I was afraid we wouldn't make it back home by nightfall at this pace. Dean sniffed and replied shortly, "I'm not putting you and the baby in danger."

"But nobody's around!" I argued.

"There could be a deer. Or an antelope. Or a loose dog. Coyotes, maybe," Dean searched around with his eyes like one of them was bound to pop out just because they overheard him.

"This truck is old and built like a tank! I feel bad for the animal that dares to jump out in front of it!" I replied.

Dean didn't say anything. I looked out the open window at the sky. Uncle Trumbly was notorious for threatening the rain to come when there wasn't even a sign it was ever planning to arrive, but this time the sky was actually showing some signs of making good on Trumbly's threats. I looked back at Dean and said, "I don't know if the sheriff will let us take the crib if it's going to get rained on!"

"I'll put a tarp over it," Dean insisted on having all the answers.

I sighed and told him, "I thought you'd be like a race car driver or something."

"Race cars are for the track. There's no need to tempt fate when you're on the road," Dean surmised.

"We're not even on a real road! It's made of dirt!" I argued.

"You only go fast on a dirt road when you want your ass to get flipped over!" Dean shot back.

"I'm not asking you to break any laws! I just think you could go above twelve miles per hour!" I countered.

Dean pumped the brakes and we slowed to a stop in the middle of the dirt road. He got out of the truck and slammed the door. He turned his back on me and just stood outside the truck for the longest time.

"Dean? Dean!" called to him.

He refused to respond to me. I opened my own door and tried to get out. The sun was outrageously hot and the humidity was high because of the gathering storm. I didn't realize I was sweating so much until I felt the moisture along my skin as I walked around to find Dean. His arms were folded and he glared at me when I came close. I sighed and told him, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I just don't want to be out all night."

"It doesn't take that long to get into town, Liz," Dean grumbled.

"I know. I'm sorry," I told him again.

He looked away and watched the countryside. I started to feel light droplets coming from the building storm. I turned back to the truck and said, "I'm getting back in. I don't want to get rained on."

"It's just water," Dean reminded me.

I left him and went back to the truck. I was getting in on the passenger side when I noticed that Dean had left the keys in the ignition. I slid across to the driver's side and turned the engine over.

Dean whirled around and practically leaped onto the door of the truck. He shouted at me through the window, "What the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm just warming it up for you," I responded.

I tried to reach the pedals but I was too short. I turned the wheel a little bit and pretended like I was driving down the road. I bounced up and down a little bit for emphasis. Dean studied me closely while I pretended to wave at other cars passing by. I put my hand on the gear shift and made noises with my mouth like I was moving it about. Dean relaxed and asked more quietly, "Do you know how to drive, Liz?"

"Daddy thought the stick shift was the devil's penis. Ladies aren't supposed to be touching it," I informed him.

Dean snorted laughter and I couldn't help smiling.

"Stand up," Dean motioned for me to move forward.

I stood the best I could while Dean opened the driver's side door and climbed in. I sat down on his lap and he rolled up the window. He put my hands on the wheel. I couldn't reach his feet on the pedals, so I curled my feet behind his calves to feel his movements down below while he took one of my hands from the wheel and put it on the stick shift. He curled his hand over mine on the stick and said, "If this is the devil's penis, it's pretty damn stiff."

I laughed out loud and Dean let out another short chuckle. He put the truck into gear and we started moving forward. It was a weird sensation to be on the driver's side watching the road disappear somewhere under the wheels. We hit a dip in the road and I bounced up. I bumped my head on the ceiling of the truck and I came down a little too hard on Dean's crotch.

"Fuck!" he roared.

The truck lurched forward and I grabbed the wheel to regain control. I started to panic as I said, "Dean! I don't know what to do!"

The rain started coming down suddenly. It engulfed the windshield and I could hardly see out. Dean pumped the brakes and we came to a stop.

I turned my head to look back at him as I asked, "Are you okay?"

"What about you? Your head?" he reached up to touch my hair.

"I'm fine," I said.

He rubbed the top of my head for a second, then he ran his fingers through my long hair. I turned to see that the passenger window was still rolled down. I started to move off of Dean's lap as I said, "I'll get the window."

He grabbed my hips to hold me in place.

Dean pressed his lips to the back of my neck and kissed the moisture there. I still wasn't wearing a bra so he was able to kiss between my shoulder blades. I could feel him getting hard through his coveralls.

Dean reached under my dress and slipped my underwear between his fingers. He guided them down and let them fall once they were out of his reach. I picked them up with my toes and took them in my left hand. Dean took my underwear from me and wrapped it around the stick shift.

I gasped and pretended to be shocked as I joked, "You can't put my underwear on the devil's penis!"

Dean laughed and kissed the back of my neck once more. The rain was really coming down hard and water was gathering on the passenger side through the open window. Dean didn't seem to care as he leaned into my ear and whispered, "Stand up."

His breath was hot against my cheek. I sat forward and clutched the wheel while Dean got to work on his coveralls. He had them pushed down to his ankles quickly and he took my hips to guide me back down to him. He asked before he came in, "You wet?"

"You mean from the rain?" I was confused.

"I meant inside, Liz. I don't want to hurt you," Dean replied.

"Um..." I couldn't really tell.

"Take a seat beside me," Dean guided me away from his lap.

"Okay," I said, unsure where this was going.

Once I was next to him, Dean turned me to face him and he lifted my left knee so he could open my legs. He came down on top of me and pressed his lips to my own. We kissed for several minutes until I could feel the water from the passenger window soaking through my hair and the back of my dress.

"Dean, the water," I pointed up at the window.

He reached out to roll the window up. Dean had only moved the handle a couple of times when he suddenly froze. I didn't know why until I heard a voice from outside call out, "Oh, shit!"

Before I could process that someone was near the truck, Dean had sat back up and pulled his coveralls back on. He linked them up quickly and he reached out to help me up. The rain was still coming down so hard that I couldn't see who was there, but I could hear them yelling, "It's you! The gorilla beast motherfuck-"

The voice stopped short. I rolled down the passenger window and I caught sight of AJ standing at the side of the dirt road. He was drenched from the rain and he turned pale when he realized it was me.

"Oh, uh...hey, there, Liz," AJ gave me an awkward wave.

I glanced back at Dean. He was stone faced and his jaw was set. I looked back at AJ and he was walking towards my window with a smile on his face. AJ must've seen Dean first and started name calling thinking he was alone. AJ looked like he was hoping I would forget what he said as he asked politely, "You having engine trouble or something?"

AJ didn't dare look at Dean. I was surprised that Dean didn't tell him to f-off or something.

I shook my head and replied, "Dean and I were headed into town to pick up a crib from the sheriff."

"Right," AJ swallowed hard.

He glanced down at something to my left. I looked back and I saw that my underwear was still wrapped around the stick shift.

Dean grabbed the underwear and wretched it off of the shift. The fabric strained so hard that it tore away and a section of the crotch still hung from the shift. I turned my attention back to AJ and moved so he couldn't see the stick shift anymore as I asked, "Where are you headed?"

"To...to my grandma's," Dean stuttered, then he gathered himself and finished more easily, "I take her groceries. She lives just a couple miles down the road from your uncle."

"Oh, how nice of you! I bet we're in your way," I said.

AJ nodded slightly, but realized he was being rude by responding with an affirmative. He tried to recover his politeness by adding, "It's no big deal. I mean, I was going to offer help if you were struggling, or ask you to move if you weren't."

"Sure thing!" I gave him a big smile.

"Thanks," AJ mumbled.

Dean had already started the truck by the time I looked back at him. He put the truck into gear and AJ had to jump back to avoid getting thrown by force as Dean ran a complete turn around and sped off back the way we came.

I looked out the back window and I saw that AJ was still standing, but he was covered in mud. Dean didn't even bother to look as he asked, "He alive?"

"For now," I answered.

"Pity," Dean growled.


	26. Chapter 26

26:

I thought we were going back to the house, but Dean pulled into the yard and headed for the barns. The rain had settled down a bit and turned into a light mist. Dean came to a stop in front of the door to the barn where Sheamus stayed. Dean turned the truck off and put the keys in his pocket. He turned to me and said, "I need to talk to Sheamus a minute."

I nodded. I glanced down at the piece of my underwear that had gotten stuck on the stick shift. It had fallen to the floor and I reached down to pick it up. I searched my dress and realized I didn't have a place to put it.

"I don't have any pockets," I said quietly.

Dean reached out for the piece and replied thickly, "I do."

I could feel the orange seed throbbing between my legs. Our time alone together had been cut short by AJ and my body was trying to protest by turning every little thing Dean did into something super arousing. I stared at his hand for a few long seconds before I finally gave him the piece. He placed it in his pocket with what was left of my underwear and I couldn't help being stimulated by the idea that he was now carrying them around wherever he went.

Dean opened the door on his side and got out. He told me before he closed the door, "Stay where you are and I'll carry you. There's mud everywhere."

The hair across his face started to shine from the light raindrops falling around him. He resembled stars sprinkled across a moonless night sky. I nodded and waited for him to come around to my side. I would've argued that I could do it myself, but I wasn't wearing any shoes.

Dean opened my door and he turned around so I could climb onto his back. He closed the door and carried me to the door of the barn. He knocked once but there was no answer. I could feel the rain building moisture down my back. I wondered if Paige would be mad that I had gotten her dress all soaked.

Dean knocked again and there was still no answer. He made a frustrated sigh. I pressed my lips to his ear and whispered, "Maybe Sheamus is in the house."

"It's better I talk to him out here," Dean replied.

His voice sounded different. His erection had gone down, but I could tell that he was still as stimulated as I was. My lips against his ear and my breasts on his back probably didn't help matters.

"Dean-O!" Sheamus shouted from the far end of the barn.

Sheamus was coming around the corner. He had a large tool in his hand and he was cleaning it off. Sheamus was wearing coveralls that were unhooked so they were riding on his hips. He wasn't wearing a shirt underneath and his pale chest glistened in the rain. He had some oil smudges on his right shoulder and his normally lighter red hair was matted down. The rain had turned his hair and eyebrows a dark shade of crimson.

I curled my toes to release some of the building stimulation I felt inside.

Sheamus seemed totally unaware of his moisturized hotness as he nodded a hello at me and asked Dean, "Why're yew back so irly?"

"Roadblocks," Dean grumbled.

Sheamus gave him a curious look but said nothing. Sheamus glanced at my bare feet and mentioned, "Ya'll catch cold out here, Lass."

He opened the door to the barn and Dean carried me inside. He let me down on the driest part of the floor and I went over to pet Merlin the zebra.

"Merlin! How are you?" I asked him.

He snorted and rubbed his nose against my face. The barn had an earthy smell that was much stronger with the rain going on outside. Sheamus leaned against one of the empty barn stalls and continued cleaning the tool in his hand while Dean asked him, "I think somebody might be trying to make trouble."

"Whatcha mean?" Sheamus looked confused.

"I was thinking about the goldfish. Liz didn't know Jeff had one," Dean pointed out.

My eyes widened with surprise. I hadn't even thought of that. Sheamus was just as surprised because he also looked like hadn't considered it. Sheamus added quietly, "I tawt it was odd she got away with fish un tank but not Jeffrey nor Mat'ew hurd a peep."

"I think whoever did this wasn't smart about it. I think they were going to take Liz's goldfish and bury it, but they figured out hers was already gone and they knew Jeff had one," Dean theorized.

"Ya wunderin' if it's a frame jawb?" Sheamus asked.

Dean shrugged and replied, "They dug the hole by the front door and left it open so people could see the fish. Maybe they wanted Liz to get into trouble for it. Maybe they wanted other people to see it and get the idea that Liz's sleepwalking is dangerous."

"Why?" Sheamus asked what I was thinking.

"I don't know, yet," Dean answered.

I kissed Merlin on the nose and wandered over to Sheamus and Dean. I asked them both, "What would happen if people thought my sleepwalking was a problem?"

Sheamus shrugged and replied, "They might ask ya to luv out o' the main hawse."

"Don't tell her things like that, Sheamus," Dean argued.

Sheamus shrugged again and Dean reassured me, "Trumbly would never put you out of the house. If anyone has a real problem with it, they can lock their doors."

"I feel bad. I don't want everyone to think I'm going to do terrible things while they're sleeping," I said.

Dean breathed a frustrated sigh and replied, "You shouldn't feel bad about something you have no control over, Liz."

"Maybe I do have some control! The doctor said I should write things down so I won't be under as much stress. I haven't been doing that. I should start taking it more seriously," I told him.

Sheamus mentioned, "It ain't a big deal, neaw. No need ta get worked up."

I nodded and looked at Dean. He was staring back at me with more intensity than usual.

"What?" I asked as my cheeks grew hot.

Dean stared at me a moment longer. My knees started trembling.

"You want Sheamus to kiss you, Liz?" Dean asked thickly.

"What?! Why?!" I suddenly felt flustered.

My cheeks kept getting hotter. I glanced at Sheamus. He was looking up at me curiously, like he was trying to decide whether I was really excited about the idea or not. I looked at Dean and countered, "Do _you_ want Sheamus to kiss me?"

Dean slowly shook his head and answered, "It doesn't matter what I want."

I was frustrated by what Dean said and I was still flustered by Sheamus watching me. I wasn't thinking when I shouted, "Why do you say things like that?! Of course it matters what you want! I'm not an intimacy hog! Why don't _you_ go and kiss Sheamus!"

The words fell out before I could stop myself. I instantly regretted it because of how amazingly stupid it sounded. I turned away and held onto a wooden post by one of the barn stalls. I tried to bury my face against the post so nobody had to see the many shades of red I was turning.

"You want to kiss me, Sheamus?" Dean asked him.

I thought they were making fun of me, but Dean didn't sound like he was joking.

I peeked a little bit to see how Sheamus would react. He was still cleaning oil off of the large tool in his hands as he shook his head and said passively, "Yer too oogly."

Something about Sheamus calling Dean ugly in such an unassuming way made me burst into a fit of laughter.

"Look what you've done! Now my girl is laughing at me!" Dean yelled at Sheamus.

"Oi! I only tawld her what she already knaw!" Sheamus countered.

"That I'm ugly?! Really?!" Dean shot back.

I slowly turned around to watch them fuss at each other. Sheamus stood up straight and clenched the tool in his hand like he was angry. Dean stood his ground and they gave one another a stare-down that should've been frightening, but I was sure they were just messing around.

"Yawr so oogly, if I tried ta put me dick in yawr arse, it'd be down yawr throat!" Sheamus shouted.

"You wish you could stick your dick in my ass!" Dean countered.

"Come 'ere, then! Come 'ere!" Sheamus threw his tool down and reached out to grab Dean.

Dean turned to one-side and wretched out of Sheamus' grasp. I watched them curiously as Dean took off running and Sheamus chased after him. Merlin snorted and clomped his feet to display his concern for the brooding boys. They ran all over the barn, with Dean managing to keep his body just out of the reach of Sheamus. At one point, Sheamus actually grabbed Dean by his hips and I saw Sheamus reach into Dean's pockets to try and stop him from running. Dean and Sheamus went down to their knees and Sheamus pulled his hands out of Dean's pockets. Sheamus gazed down at the pieces of my torn up underwear and his eyes widened from surprise and arousal.

Dean tried to grab the pieces away from Sheamus. I watched as Sheamus pulled away from Dean and shouted, "Mine, naw! I claim it!"

Dean tackled him. They started wrestling on the floor like a couple of wild animals. Their rain soaked bodies were soon covered in dirt and hay. As the chaos ensued, Sheamus lost his clothes completely when his dangerously low coveralls slipped past his hips and Dean yanked them off the rest of the way. Dean tried to wrap the coveralls around Sheamus' neck to choke him, but Sheamus kicked him in the stomach. Sheamus tried to put the coveralls back on, but Dean pulled them off again and tossed them out of the way.

I wandered over to the cot and sat down on the edge of the mattress without taking my eyes away from both men. They had forgotten I was there as they tried to fight each other in a way that I could only describe as both sexy and ferocious. I wasn't sure if they were playing some kind of a game or if they were really mad at each other. Dean reached out to grab the pieces of my underwear from Sheamus, but Sheamus made a tight fist. Dean grabbed his arm and started trying to pry Sheamus' fingers open with his teeth. Sheamus cried out in pain but he still wouldn't let go.

The barn door opened slowly and Sami walked in. He was holding a bag of generic potato chips and he reached in for some while he glanced over at Dean and Sheamus with mild interest. I waved Sami over to me and he sat down on my right side. I leaned into him and whispered, "How'd you get chips without anyone snatching them away?"

Sami shrugged and replied, "I told them it was empty. I don't know why they believed me."

I held out my hand and he gave me a few pieces. We watched while Dean and Sheamus continued to pummel each other. Sheamus managed to unhook Dean's coveralls and soon Dean was naked. Sami leaned into me and mentioned, "Dean doesn't even look naked."

"It's the body hair," I replied, and Sami nodded.

Dean threw dirt in Sheamus' face. Dean tried to stand on his feet but Sheamus kicked him in the butt and sent him back down in the dirt. It was a while before they finally seemed to get tired enough to slow down. Sheamus rolled away from Dean and crawled his way over to us. Dean lay on his back and tried to catch his breath.

"Fur the lass," Sheamus handed me my pieces of underwear.

I giggled when I took them. Dean sat up straight and pointed an angry finger at Sheamus as he shouted, "How dare you, asshole!"

Sheamus rolled over on his back and flashed Dean a sign with his fingers. It looked like he was making an inverted peace sign, but Dean rose to his feet and countered angrily, "Fuck you, too!"

Sheamus put the V shape with his fingers against his lips and stuck his tongue out between his fingers. He wiggled his tongue around and Dean cursed at him some more. I glanced at Sami and he explained quietly, "Sheamus is making it look like he's licking lady parts. Dean thinks he's referring to your lady parts. I concur."

"Oi! I'll lick ya both up right!" Sheamus started to climb up onto the cot.

He reached for Sami, first. Sami held the chips away from Sheamus and argued with a pinched up nose, "Aw, you stink!"

Sheamus started kissing Sami's neck and chest. He was getting dirt and hay and sweat everywhere. Sami continued to protest as he fell back against the mattress, but he didn't try very hard to push Sheamus away.

I watched as Sheamus kissed along Sami's abdomen. Sami's protests turned into soft, quiet moans. Sami's chest rose and fell in a tender, rhythmic pattern. Sheamus drew imaginary lines along Sami's skin. He kissed some parts softly and other parts he suckled until he left a shade of red. Sami put his arms over his head and let Sheamus touch wherever he wanted. A bulge had developed under Sami's coveralls, but Sheamus didn't tend to it. Instead, he focused on Sami's body, playing games with his many parts until he was groaning; writhing; begging to be set free.

I couldn't take my eyes away. Something was there between them, but it was just beyond my reach. A kind of passion, or maybe a commitment or a bond. It was so beautiful that it made me want to cry.

Sheamus was looking up at me. He said something, but I didn't really hear it. I leaned down to hear him, better. He pressed his lips to mine.

He was really good at kissing. He had this way of twisting his lower lip that made it more interesting.

Something stopped me. A weird feeling inside. I pulled away from Sheamus and told him, "I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing."

"Nawt ta worry, Liz," Sheamus shook his head.

He seemed content, but I couldn't help feeling like my actions may have killed the mood. I glanced back at Sami. He smiled to reassure me that he was fine.

I turned to face Dean.

He was standing there, staring at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world.

I stood up and told him, "I'm sorry, I'm just too nervous," and I walked out of the barn.

The storm had turned everything dark. It was like the sun had decided to take a break. A gust of wind hit me hard than I thought it would and almost knocked me off my feet. I felt foolish. Ashamed, even. Dean told me it was a turn on for him to see his woman being teased by another man. I felt safe with Sheamus. I was just arguing with Dean over withholding his needs but a short time ago and here I was, rushing back to the house because I couldn't deal with branching out a little.

A sudden downpour of warm rain stunned me out of my emotions. I looked up at the sky and I noticed that it was an odd shade of green. The wind started kicking up, again. I struggled to keep my dress down and I cursed myself for trying to walk through the mud with no shoes on. As if the world had decided I wasn't getting punished enough, I felt tiny jabs of hail assaulting my head and shoulders.

"Oh, come on!" I shouted, and the sky responded with another sudden gust of wind.

I stumbled and went down to my knees. I wasn't far from the house, but it felt like I would never get there. The hail suddenly stopped. Some lightning flashed across the sky.

There was a stillness in the air. It were as if the storm had been paused for a moment. I felt a prickling in the back of my neck. A static charge and my gut telling me there was danger.

I glanced off to my right. I didn't know what I was looking for. All I could see were distant trees blowing in the wind. I was not aware of a strong wind around me. No, it was coming from just that one place.

A tornado.

I couldn't see it, but I could _hear_ it.

Trees were creaking and twisting. I could just make out the stumps as they twisted out of the ground. The tornado must've been a smaller one because I couldn't see a lot of debris. It was far enough away that I had time to run, but I was frozen with fear.

I told myself to move, but I couldn't. I just sat there and stared at the trees moving and spinning in the darkness. The sky made a sound like thunder that boomed in my ears. A flash of lightning and I saw the edge of a spinning black cloud.

"Liz!" Dean called from somewhere nearby.

He scooped me up and carried me to the house. He stopped short of the front steps and he ran around to the other side of the house. I caught one last glimpse of the spinning black cloud before we disappeared behind the house. I looked back and saw Sami riding on Merlin. He was trying to follow us. I didn't see Sheamus at all.

Dean kicked in a side door and ran in the house. Sami came in with Merlin seconds, later. The house was dark and quiet as Dean carried me down the hall and through another door that led into the kitchen. I had never seen the inside of the kitchen, before. It was all white and it had a huge antique stove. I saw it when the lightning flashed outside. Merlin whinnied and tried to dash off. Sami spoke to him using words I didn't understand and Merlin calmed down.

"Open the fucking door!" Dean yelled at one corner of the kitchen.

What looked like a white wall opened up and Dylan stepped out. I remembered him as one of the three little people I met on my first day. He motioned for us to hurry up and Dean rushed inside with me in his arms. The opening was big enough to fit Merlin and Sami.

We went down a ramp and into a finished basement. There was an old radio on and a male voice was reporting, "A tornado has touched down! I repeat, a tornado has touched down! Please seek shelter, immediately! I repeat, seek shelter immediately!"

"I'll take her," Kevin walked over to me.

Dean handed me over. I didn't know why until I looked at Dean and I saw that his right arm was bleeding from an open wound.

"I've got it, sugar," Naomi motioned for Dean come over so she could tend to his wounds.

There were other Carnies everywhere. There were a few candles lit, but it was hard to make out most of the faces. Kevin carried me to a chair and set me down in it. He looked me over and asked, "You hurt?"

I shook my head. Kevin turned to leave and I blurted, "Sheamus!"

A few Carnies looked my way. Kevin snorted and replied, "Damn fool would never leave the animals behind."

Some responses escaped the crowd. A woman gasped and started crying. I could still see Sami sitting on Merlin across the room. He kept his head down and said nothing.

"The storm is moving in the other direction. He'll be fine if he isn't dead, already," I recognized the pessimistic voice as Uncle Trumbly.

"Elizabeth, are you alright?" I heard Abbey ask from somewhere.

"I'm fine," I shouted back.

"We were so worried about you, dear," Marlyn also spoke up.

There was a loud rumble and I swore the entire house shifted on its foundation. Some people stood up to listen while others held onto each other. A young boy grabbed on to my right leg and wouldn't let go. I heard a baby crying.

More loud rumbling sounds. Some glass broke outside. The disruption was distant but no less terrifying. The radio host kept repeating that people should seek shelter.

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" I heard whimpering close to me.

I looked to my left and I saw Charlotte rocking herself. I had never seen her look so vulnerable. Kevin put his arms around her. I tried to search for Dean in the darkness.

There was a loud explosion. More panicked sounds came out of the crowd. The young boy wrapped around my leg started to cry. I ran my fingers through his hair to soothe him.

I could hear the sounds going further away. The tornado was leaving us behind. I felt someone take my hand and I looked over to find Dean. He sat down on his knees beside my chair. Naomi had wrapped his arm with a piece of fabric to stop the bleeding.

The baby stopped crying. The basement went quiet. It felt like hours passed before the radio host said, "The tornado is gone. Emergency response is on their way."

Some of the Carnies began to protest. Trumbly quieted them down when he shouted, "I'll deal with emergency response! Everyone, go back to your rooms! Food will be brought to you! We'll assess the damage in the morning!"

Most of the Carnies got up and filed out of the basement. An older woman came along to gather the boy still holding on to my leg. I smiled at him and waved good-bye. He didn't smile back.

Sami left with Merlin. I turned to Dean and asked, "Should we go out to check on Sheamus?"

"I want you to go upstairs to our room and wait for me. I'll check on Sheamus," Dean said.

"Why can't I go with you?" I asked.

"Some of the animals might have gotten out. Others will be agitated from the storm. They don't know you, Liz. You will get hurt," Dean informed me.

I nodded that I understood. He kissed my forehead and said, "Stay in our room. I'll come back to you."

He let me go and I fell in line with the remaining Carnies. Abbey took my right arm and I pulled her into a hug. When we broke away, I noticed that the Carnies behind me were going around us. I took Abbey with me and we walked out of the basement. I told her when we were back upstairs, "I'm sorry if we made you worry."

"You were with Dean. I knew you were safe," Abbey replied.

I couldn't help smiling. She understood more than anybody what Dean meant to me.


	27. Chapter 27

27:

TWO WEEKS LATER

After the tornado, things got a lot busier in Uncle Trumbly's house.

My father hadn't called or written. I thought he would at least want to know if Abbey was okay. His lack of contact made me think that the drama he made the last time he came by was all for show. If he wasn't worried about us when it really counted, how could I believe he was worried about us at all?

Abbey seemed to be settling in just fine. She was spending a lot of time with Marlyn and Uncle Trumbly. I even noticed that Abbey was given a room right across the hall from theirs. It seemed a little strange to me, the way they just accepted her as if she had always been there, though I knew that Abbey was a very easy person to love and they were probably trying to make her feel welcome when she had nowhere else to go.

Dean was gone a lot.

He and most of the male Carnies set out to clean up the mess after the tornado. There were a lot of uprooted trees blocking the road into town. The roof of the house was blown off and they had to replace it. Some of the siding also had to be replaced. None of the animals were hurt and I was glad to find out that Sheamus was okay.

The tornado had traveled almost half a mile before it gave out. There were no deaths thank goodness, but a few neighbors had damage to their houses and barns. Some vehicles got flipped over and one man lost the fence that kept his horses in. Dean, Sheamus, Sami, Kevin, Bray, Roman and many others went out to help the man wrangle his horses back in. They also repaired his fence.

Some of the locals were not happy that Carnies were helping them with the clean up. A few people called for a city meeting about it, claiming that Dean and some of the others were demanding payment in return for their services. Uncle Trumbly went to the meeting with the neighbors and they all explained that the Carnies were not taking any payments. Enough people argued otherwise and a police detail was added to the clean up to make sure that no one was taking advantage of anyone else.

I thought about AJ. He was probably one of the people who spread the rumors because his grandmother's house needed some minor repairs. AJ was with his grandmother when the tornado hit. Dean told me later that he and Sheamus went over to help with repairs and AJ made a big deal about how he could do it himself, but when they came back a couple of days later, AJ hadn't done a good job. They had to fix his mistakes as well as the damage from the tornado. Dean didn't tell me how mad AJ was about it, but I was sure he was resentful because the meeting was called just a short time, later.

Dean would stay with me at night. He was in bed after midnight and up before sunrise. He worked so hard that his hands were rough and his body hair was sticky in some spots with blood. He smelled like paint and sawdust. He was usually too sore to move much, but he would still kiss me goodnight. Kevin must've also been too tired because he and Charlotte weren't messing around so much in the room by ours.

I was spending a lot of time writing things down in my journal. It was actually a notebook with a daisy on the front. I remembered that Sheamus called me a daisy because I was so innocent when I first came to the house. I wrote in my journal about anything I could think of. I did what Seth told me to and I changed the names of the people I was actually referring to in case someone like Charlotte tried to steal my journal and read it. I was careful to talk about my innermost thoughts and feelings in a way that couldn't be too easily interpreted. I wrote everything out like short stories and poems, spilling my guts in a safe way so that I wouldn't sleepwalk at night. It seemed to be working.

Uncle Trumbly had some Carnies fetch the crib for my baby. A section of Dean's room was cordoned off for baby. He offered to paint the section whatever I wanted, but the blue walls were just fine with me. I was still sure I was going to have a boy. Naomi told me she was going to throw me a baby shower. Abbey was also excited about it. Everyone was so busy that I didn't want them to have to drop what they were doing and give someone they hardly knew a bunch of presents. Each time I looked at the crib, it became more real to me that I was going to give birth.

The summer was getting closer to ending. Dean would be on the road soon enough. I wondered what it would be like caring for my baby without him around. I didn't like thinking about it.

I was supposed to register for school but I kept putting it off. Dean had told me a long time ago that I would need to ask Bo to register with me so someone could look out for me while I was in school. I didn't even want to go. I considered doing online classes, but Uncle Trumbly didn't have fast internet. I thought about doing home school, but Dean insisted that I needed the socialization.

Sometimes, I thought he was actually telling me to go find normal friends because he thought I was unhappy being around his weird ones.

I was busy writing in my journal and happily avoiding school registration responsibilities when Abbey came over to sit next to me one afternoon. I thought she was coming over to lecture me, but the first thing she said was, "Have you spoken to Seth, recently?"

"Not yet, Momma. I don't want to bother him too much," I told her.

She was wearing a red dress that blew slightly in the wind. Abbey's smile was sweet and tired and she replied, "I let him know we're having a baby shower for you. He says he'll be sure to have a gift on time."

"I really don't want people to fuss over me," I started.

Abbey countered softly, "It's not just for you, sweetheart. It's for your baby, as well."

I put my journal down and Abbey asked, "Have you thought of a name, yet?"

"Seth's middle name is Colby. I was thinking something along the lines of Colby Dean Chapfield. He'll be an Ambrose after I marry Dean."

Abbey's smile widened as she said, "That sounds like a very unique name! But what if it's a girl?"

"I'm going to name her Abbey Marlyn Chapfield, but I'm sure it's a boy," I told her.

Abbey let out a feathery laugh. I asked when she finished, "Momma, what did Daddy mean when he brought me here?"

"What do you mean, darling?" she asked me curiously.

I turned to face her better and replied, "He took me here as a punishment. I embarrassed him by getting pregnant. This place has felt more like a home than where we lived, before, but I don't think he really understands that."

"Oh, Elizabeth," Abbey put her hand on my shoulder and shook her head while she explained, "Your father has never been one to understand what others are thinking and feeling. He generally thinks that everyone else sees things the same way that he does. That's why he gets so angry when people don't do what he expects them to. He thought that by taking you here, you would find this place unforgiving and the people repulsive and cruel because that's what he thinks it is made of. He believed that you would call and beg to be returned home. He never imagined that you would enjoy yourself here, with your uncle's diverse group of characters, much less that you would fall in love with one of them."

I frowned and stated, "That's ridiculous! He doesn't know me at all!"

"You're right, dear," Abbey sighed and added, "Your father is a very simple man."

She said it like it was common knowledge that everyone knew but me. I said more to myself than to Abbey, "Well, I guess I should've known that."

Abbey smiled and said, "You didn't know because you didn't want to know, dear. All little girls cherish their fathers. The patriarch is put in the brightest light, despite what kind of darkness he may carry. You know, my father was not a kind man at all. He despised children and he did not believe in showing affection of any kind. He was also not religious."

"Really?" I asked, surprised by this revelation.

Abbey was very religious, just like my father. I had always assumed she was taught by her parents. She nodded and continued, "My father never mentioned God. He was scammed by a holy man once and he thought they were all frauds. He had money, my father, but he had no good reasons to spend it. He was always very serious. That was why I found your father so intriguing, I think. Your father was so passionate when he spoke of God. He wanted to raise you in a home with both a mother and father. He believed he had sinned in his past and he wanted so much to make things right. I had never seen someone who expressed their emotions so openly. I was absolutely smitten by him."

"But he turned out to be a lot like your father," I mentioned.

Abbey lowered her gaze as she replied quietly, "Yes, I suppose he did."

I could tell she was saddened by what I said, so I changed the subject by telling her, "I want to marry Dean before he goes on the road."

Abbey lifted her head and smiled. She told me softly, "Have you told him about your plans?"

"No, not yet, but I'm sure he'll agree," I replied.

Abbey looked off in the distance and I followed her gaze. A couple of zebras were running out in the distance across an open part of the yard. A young Carny was chasing after them.

"You should discuss everything with him. Every detail. Raising a child is not easy. He will have a lot of responsibility that he's never had, before. Tell him all of your needs. Tell him all of your insecurities. He should know what it means to be apart from you and what consequences await him should he not follow through."

"Do you think he won't make a good father?" I asked.

Abbey looked into my eyes and told me, "I believe he will be a wonderful father, but I don't think that he believes he will be. You can help him understand, Elizabeth. Guide him with your love."

She put her arms around me and hugged me close. When she pulled away, Abbey asked something unexpected, "What would you think if I were to marry Trumbly?"

"But...he's married to Marlyn..." I wasn't sure what else to say.

Abbey nodded and explained, "I know that, dear. My inclusion in their marriage would be symbolic. Trumbly wants to keep his business matters within the family with the exception of your father. I am a Chapfield and it turns out I have a talent for business matters. He also wants to make sure that you are always taken care of."

"Why can't he just put you in his will? Why does he have to marry you?" I asked.

Abbey sighed and answered, "It has something to do with the rules of the Carnies. If something were to happen to Trumbly and Marlyn and the business were simply handed over to me, it would appear to the others as though I did not earn my place. The marriage ceremony would prove to them that I have no plans to go back to Hefram and that I am serious about making things work."

"Do you really want to be here, Momma? Do you want to be a Carny?" I asked.

Abbey smiled and said, "Absolutely, dear! I'm more happy here than I've ever been anywhere in my life!"

:-:

I spent a lot of time walking around and thinking after I spoke to Abbey. I understood what she was trying to do, but something about wanting to marry my uncle seemed strange. I didn't feel it was necessary. What if she fell in love with someone else? What if she did decide to move on and she couldn't because she was bound by Carny rules to stay? What if my father found out? Would he be furious? Would he act like he didn't care?

While I was wandering, I felt like someone was watching me and I stopped to look up. I saw Bo a short distance away, his upper lip curled and his eyes squinting from the bright sun. He had coveralls on that were stained dark brown from various oils and dirt. His hair was long and a mess around his head. He wasn't wearing a shirt underneath and his tribal tattoos glistened from sweat. He just stared at me for a while with that ugly look on his face, like I had said something offensive and he was waiting for me to apologize.

"Is there something wrong?" I finally asked.

He shrugged stiffly and answered, "I'm supposed to take you on to school."

"Did Dean set you up to this?" I became suspicious.

"No!" Bo countered like he was insulted.

"Then why are you asking about school?" I argued.

"'Cause Dean said you were goin' and it's about that time to get all the paperwork squared away!" he shot back defensively.

The first time I had met Bo to talk about school, he was working on one of the animal cages and he seemed to find me attractive. The next time I saw him, he was giving me lusty eyes and making fun of Seth. I was beginning to think that Bo and I were not a great match. He was supposed to be my protector while Dean was gone, but Bo seemed like one of the guys I needed protection _from_.

"I've been thinking about other options. Home school, maybe," I pointed out.

Bo saw right through me. He shook his head and countered, "Dean didn't say that."

"Dean, Dean, Dean! If he says I'm from Australia, is that just supposed to be true?!" I argued.

Bo just stared at me. I started to walk away, but he took my arm to keep me from leaving. He wasn't holding me too tightly, but I didn't like that he was touching me at all. I jerked away from him and he looked at me like I was acting crazy as he said, "Come on with me. I'll take you to school."

He seemed quite adamant that we were going whether I wanted to or not. Because Dean said. I sighed and stormed off toward the house. Bo followed close behind me. I called out as soon as I stepped inside, "Uncle Trumbly! I need some of my personal records to register for school!"

"You don't need nothin'. Mister Chapfield already squared that away," Bo informed me.

I turned around to face him. His upper lip was curled, again. He looked concerned that I didn't know we could just leave when he said we were leaving. I sighed again with frustration and turned to walk out the door.

Bo followed after me. Since the Carnies were helping to clean up the tornado mess, all the good vehicles were gone. The only vehicle left was a red and white pickup that looked like it had been in the path of the tornado.

"We're goin' in that," he pointed the truck out and walked ahead of me.

I was beginning to think that Bo wasn't a very good judge about knowing when he should mention things and when he didn't have to. I wanted to call him out for being a Captain Obvious, but I had already done enough to put him in a sour mood.

He got into the driver's side and tapped the steering wheel as he waited for me impatiently. I was reminded of how sweet Dean was to open the door for me. Trucks were also higher up and a little harder to get into. Bo tapped harder on the wheel to let me know he wasn't pleased with my slow efforts to enter the vehicle.

I barely had my seat belt on when Bo turned on the truck and sped backwards out of the yard. He slammed on the brakes and swung around before flying out of the driveway like he was on a desperate time limit. My hair swirled all around my face and my sandals flew off. I struggled to reach them with my toes so I could slip them back on when Bo made another sharp turn to head out onto the main dirt road.

"The school is open all day, you know!" I yelled at him.

He slowed down a tiny bit. I sat back against the seat and tried to look out the open window. There were many tree parts in piles along the side of the road. The Carnies had done a great job of clearing the road and they had made some large piles of chopped wood. They had also rented equipment shred up some of the logs, but there was still a lot of work left to do.

"This mess is gonna put us back. We won't be on tour at the usual time," Bo said.

"When is the usual time?" I asked curiously.

"Beginning of October," Bo answered.

"If this work pushed you back, when will you go on tour?" I asked.

Bo shrugged and said nothing. I assumed that meant he didn't know.

I was kind of relieved because it meant I could spend more time with Dean, but it also meant that he wouldn't be able to do his job for a while.

I turned to Bo and asked, "Do you like working with my uncle?"

"What kinda question is that?" he acted like I was trying to set him up or something.

I tried a different angle, "I mean is it fun to be in a traveling carnival? Do you like it?"

Bo shrugged and replied, "I's all I know."

I nodded that I understood and I turned to look out the window, again.

:-:

I was hoping to see Dean, Sami and Sheamus along the way, but there were too many trees in the way for me to really see much at all. When we got into town, I noticed that it was hot and quiet. Bo drove us through main street at a speed that should've gotten us stopped, but there were no cops around to argue.

We had to go all the way across town to reach the high school. It was a brick building with a sloped roof that made the school look like someone tried to flatten it with a huge frying pan. There was a big sign out in gold letters that said: HIGH SCHOOL.

 _Doesn't this school even have a name?_

Bo got out and started walking up to the front doors. I tried to hurry and get out so I wouldn't lose him. He had parked on one side of the building where it was just the two of us. I noticed when I got out that there was another side to the lot with a bunch of cars. I walked quickly to get into the building. Bo was already inside and out of my sight.

Once I got in, I looked to my right and to my left. Bo was headed down the left hall. I rushed after him. I wasn't running but I was moving fast enough to get my heart rate up. Bo was walking but he was moving like I was standing still. He rounded the corner and disappeared from my sight once more.

"Bo! Wait for me!" I called to him.

A portion of his head appeared from around the corner. He curled his upper lip at me like he thought I was only being slow to hold him back. I told him when I got closer, "You're moving too fast!"

"God," he mumbled under his breath.

He said something else but I didn't hear him. He strolled off again and I followed after him. He had slowed down a little bit. I still could barely keep up with him.

"Would you please-" I started.

He stopped and waited for me. He took my hand when I came near. He started to walk with me this time, but his jaw was set like he was considering dragging me should I tell him he's going too fast.

Bo seemed to know where he was going as he rounded another corner and yet another. We found ourselves in a cafeteria that had a bunch of glass walls surrounding it. The main office was across the cafeteria and to the right.

There was also a throng of students between us and the office.

At least two lines had formed through the office doors. There were some stragglers trying to form a third line or step in front of someone from the first two given the opportunity. Bo let his head hang back and made a low growl. He squeezed my hand with frustration.

"I told you we didn't have to hurry so much!" I argued as I pulled my hand out of his.

He glared at me and countered, "You said no such thing!"

Bo was right. I had told him that the school was open all day and he was moving too fast, but I never actually said that we didn't have to hurry. Bo saw an empty cafeteria table and he pointed at it as he told me, "You wait in line. I'm gonna rest up a bit."

He walked right over to the table and sat down, hung his head back and closed his eyes. He actually seemed to be asleep despite all the noise and chaos going on around him.

I seriously considered turning around and walking out. Bo had been nothing but a jerk so far. I couldn't believe Dean would think that someone like him would make a good classmate for me. I tried to think of someone who could be a better option. I thought about Paige. She looked like she could pass for a student. Then I remembered that Bo said Uncle Trumbly had sorted out the paperwork for school already. That meant I couldn't get rid of Bo because Uncle Trumbly had already sent in his school records.

I decided I would try to ask if Paige could register as well. I was even willing to come back into town if it meant I could have someone else to fall back on if Bo didn't work out. When I went on maternity leave for a while after I had my baby, would he even bother to bring me my homework? Was Bo going to drive like a maniac to and from school every day?

"Hey," I heard someone say from behind me.

I turned around to find AJ standing there.

He had a petite blonde with a leather jacket wrapped around his arm. Her blue eyes looked me over and stopped at my pregnant belly. She made this sort of giggle-snort that sounded stupid to me but it put a big smile on AJ's face.

"Hey, there! I wasn't sure it was you!" AJ beamed at me.

The last time I saw AJ was the day of the tornado. He had caught me and Dean almost having sex in a truck parked on the road. Dean zoomed off and pummeled AJ with mud. Now, he was acting like we were old friends and he was actually hoping to run into me.

"Yeah, it's me," I shrugged.

The petite blonde looked at AJ uneasily. She must've been uninformed about our awkward history.

AJ pointed at her and said, "This is Janet. She's my _girlfriend_."

He said _girlfriend_ like I should be proud or something. I smiled and said, "That's nice."

"This is Liz. She's new, here," AJ continued the introduction despite my disinterest.

"Nice to meet you, newbie," Janet reached out for my hand.

I shook her hand to be polite, but I wasn't planning on talking to them for very long. I tried to turn away but AJ asked, "So where's Dean?"

"He's working. I'm here with Bo," I pointed to the table where Bo was sleeping.

AJ swallowed hard when he caught sight of Bo. I had to try hard not to smile.

"That's cool, that's cool," AJ tried to recover, "I, uh...so, I hope you have a good year. At school, I mean."

Janet glanced up at AJ like she was wondering why her perfect robot boyfriend was suddenly malfunctioning. I turned away to check the line. It hadn't moved at all.

"I've got to get some water," I stepped out of place and started to walk away.

"You want us to save your spot in line?" AJ offered like he was such a gentleman.

Janet swooned. I thought I might barf so I just shrugged and took off.

I went back down the hallway and searched for a bathroom. I did find one for the ladies and I used the toilet, then I rinsed my face in the sink. I went back to the stall I was in and I closed the door. I locked it and sat down to think for a while.

I really didn't want to be there. I had ideas to try the vehicles in the parking lot for one with the keys still inside so I could drive myself back home. I considered going to the movie theater and hanging out there for a while, but I hadn't brought any money with me. I also couldn't guarantee that there wouldn't be a huge line waiting whenever I came back.

The main door to the bathroom opened and some women came in chattering away. I propped my feet up on the toilet paper holder so they couldn't see that I was there. A dark haired young woman came into my small line of sight through the stall. Another young woman slammed the door to one of the stalls and relieved herself. There was a third woman who was out of my sight. She was talking to the other two as she said, "Did you see that incredible new piece of meat?"

The dark haired woman retorted loudly, "You mean the tattooed one? He looks like he's twenty-nine!"

All three of them laughed. The one I couldn't see mentioned, "Is he single? I thought I saw him come in with his pregnant wife!"

They all laughed again like their jokes were super funny. The one in the stall replied in a sort of nasally voice, "I think the pregnant one is our age."

"Oh, my God! She's coming to school next year? To do what? After she has that baby, she can kiss college good-bye," said the one I couldn't see.

A trio of laughter once again. The dark haired one mentioned, "Do you think we should try to make friends with her?"

"Slut," said the one in the stall.

"Slut," repeated the one I couldn't see.

The dark haired one turned to the one I couldn't see and confirmed, "Sl-ut."

More fits of laughter. A stall door swung open. The door to the bathroom opened. The laughter faded until the trio was gone.

Frustrated tears streamed down my face. I knew it was going to be hard this year. All this time, I thought it was because I was living with Carnies and I would be judged for that.

I hadn't even thought about how I might be judged for being pregnant.


	28. Chapter 28

28:

I walked out of the school in a huff.

My fists were clenched and my face was hard. Luckily there was hardly anyone around to see me looking furious because most of the town was at the school. I was so mad that I didn't even bother to check before crossing the road and if anyone were in distress, they would've been very disappointed by my non-reaction. When I finally did come up for air, I realized that I was far away from the school.

The theater was nearby, so at least I knew where I was. The matinee was starting soon, but I had no money. I walked in to find the place empty. I thought maybe they were closed, but the popcorn machine was working up a fresh batch and the light to the theater room was still shining brightly.

"Hello?" I asked the quiet.

I preferred not to yell unless no one answered me. I was glad I hadn't raised my voice because the brooding boy with the PUNK name tag who was usually there stood up from behind the candy counter. He narrowed his eyes at me in a suspicious way, like the only reason I was there was to steal classified secrets.

"You should be registering at the high school. You're a teenager, aren't you?" he said it in a matter-of-fact way.

He was still glaring at me suspiciously. I returned his paranoia with a short nod as I answered, "I am a teenager, but I'm not going back to the school."

"Because of that?!" he pointed at my belly.

"No! And it's a baby, not a _that_!" I countered angrily.

He put his hands up and widened his eyes at me like I was the one being paranoid. I was starting to get really angry, again. I'd had enough of stupid young men for one day.

"I want to see the movie but I don't have any money," I stated defiantly.

The minute I said it, I realized how dumb it sounded. I thought Mr. Punk would start laughing at me or tell me to leave, but he shrugged and said like it was totally normal, "You want some popcorn?"

"Yes, please," I tried to stay strong even though I believed he was only messing with me.

He turned around and opened the door to the popcorn maker. It had almost finished with the fresh batch. He pulled a big paper bucket out from under the machine and filled it to the brim. He even added a bunch of butter. He put it on the counter and went back to get a drink. He pulled out the biggest cup they had and filled it. I inched my way to the counter and watched him with avid interest. I wasn't sure if he was still messing with me or not, but if he was, he seemed to be going the extra mile to make the prank seem real.

"Movie starts in five minutes," he pushed the drink and popcorn across the counter and handed me a straw.

"Don't I owe you something?" I asked timidly.

"What? Like weed or sex? Damn, woman, you look like you've already got plenty to deal with," he rolled his eyes at me.

I still wasn't sure if he was serious, but I took the popcorn and the drink regardless. I checked the drink and asked, "Is this soda?"

"It's water. Caffeine isn't good for babies," he used his matter-of-fact voice, again.

I decided not to press the issue and I went into the theater room. There was no one else around so I had my pick of the seats. I took one at the end of the center aisle so I could get out to reach the bathroom, easily. I started munching on my popcorn while I waited for the trailers to start.

Some laughter drifted in from the main lobby. I turned around and waited, thinking that possibly AJ had followed me. I was relieved when an unfamiliar face appeared. He was also a teenager and he was carrying the same large popcorn and drink. I was suddenly not feeling so special for getting a free deal.

The young man had long, dirty blonde hair and his expression was kind of stoic. He would've seemed unapproachable if it weren't for his airy walk, which seemed almost intentionally ironic. He was wearing an over-sized black leather jacket and matching leather boots. His jeans were clean and his white t-shirt under the jacket reminded me of some 1950s street gang member. He stopped beside me and his stone-colored gray eyes gave me a curious once-over while he tried to recognize me. I assumed he was a native to the town and he thought I should be as well. I waved a little bit and said, "Hi, I'm Liz Chapfield. I'm new, here."

"I figured as much. You don't have that _I'm-Better-Than-This-Town-And-I'm-Better-Than-You_ look that most of the girls here do," he mentioned.

I smiled and he replied, "I'm Brian Kendrick. Resident Bad Boy and Occasional Shit-Stirrer."

He nodded his chin at me instead of reaching out to take my hand because his arms were full. I nodded back and he pointed his pinky finger at the seat next to me as he asked, "Mind if I stay close?"

"That's fine," I shrugged.

He started to come in and I had to maneuver my belly out of the way to clear a path. He glanced at my belly a couple of times before he sat down. He looked at it once more and asked, "You one of those chicks who brings in a fake pregnancy belly that's actually full of candy?"

I snorted so hard that I almost shot snot out of my nose. Brian laughed and I replied, "No way! Do people really do that?!"

"The owner's old school. He put up a sign for a while that said pregnant women couldn't come to the movies because he was so worried about candy hoarders. The town said it was discriminatory so he had to take it down. Your lucky he isn't here much or he'd probably have Punk pat you down."

"What's his real name? Punk, I mean," I asked.

Brian made a weird face and replied, "You know, I have no idea what his real name is. He goes by C.M. Punk. Maybe it's Charles or Chuck or Cocoa."

"Cocoa?!" I laughed.

Brian surmised with a shrug, "It must be something embarrassing because he likes being called Punk more than he likes his first name."

The trailers were starting and the lights dimmed. The sound was still low enough that Brian could talk to me as he asked, "You said your name was Chapfield? Are you related to Trumbly?"

"He's my uncle," I said quietly, bracing for a harsh reaction.

Brian nodded but his expression betrayed nothing. He didn't seem upset by the revelation, nor was he particularly impressed. He went on, "You live at his house outside of town?"

"Yes," I answered.

"Did you come into town to register for school?" he asked.

"Yep," I kept my answers short.

"Well, how come you aren't at the school?" he asked.

"I already registered," I lied.

Brian knew immediately that I was lying. I really was a terrible liar.

I confessed, "This town doesn't like that I live with my uncle's carnival troupe. They don't like that I'm a pregnant teenager. They don't like the friends that I hang out with because they're carnies. They don't like my fiancee because he's covered in body hair-"

"Oh, Dean? Yeah, he's cool," Brian replied.

"You...you know Dean?" I asked with surprise.

"Yeah, I mean, not well but I grew up around here so we've had some run-ins. He doesn't come into town much but I used to play at the arcade store with him and Sheamus," Brian answered.

"I didn't know there was an arcade store around," I mumbled.

"Not anymore. Gamers have house parties where a bunch of them get together and play, now. I invited Sheamus and Dean to my house a couple of times, but Dean isn't a fan of big crowds."

I chuckled and Brian gave me a curious look. I explained myself, "Uncle Trumbly's house is full of people. It's not the crowds that bother him."

"Oh," Brian seemed surprised.

He was in deep thought for a few seconds before he looked back at me and said, "I didn't mean to make him feel uncomfortable. I don't really think about his condition that much. The hair thing."

Brian waved a hand over his face and continued calmly, "I didn't think the other guys cared, either. He was great at gaming so I thought that's all that mattered. Guess they must've been sticking it to him when I wasn't around."

"Was AJ a part of your group?" I asked curiously.

Brian's eyes widened with surprise as he answered, "Oh, no! That guy doesn't hang out with my friends at all. He's an athlete and he hangs out with the jocks. He looks at me like I'm a different species."

I laughed, again. Brian smiled and asked, "You mind if I ask you a question about your baby?"

"No," I replied.

He glanced at my belly again and asked, "You said Dean was your fiancee. Is the baby his?"

"No," I shook my head and added, "Seth Rollins is the father. He doesn't live here."

"That's cool, I get it. I was going to say tell Dean congratulations if it was his, that's all."

Brian seemed pretty cool so far. I was starting to feel a real connection to him and I wanted to talk some more, but there was a rustling behind us and we looked back to see another teenager walking in. He didn't have the popcorn and soda like we did. He also had chin-length dark hair and he was wearing a similar outfit to Brian's, only he looked much more natural in it. His dark hair was hiding his eyes, but I could see that he had a really handsome face. The young man walked with a saunter that didn't match his good looks. He reminded me of someone like Keanu Reeves if he were a little bit drunk and trying to hide the fact that he was a celebrity.

"Hey, Paul!" Brian waved him over.

The young man named Paul walked into the aisle behind us and leaped over into the seat next to Brian. He stood in the seat instead of sitting down in it, which seemed both funny and slightly annoying. Paul looked at me and smiled. He was more handsome when he smiled despite some of his teeth being crooked.

"Liz, this is Paul London. Paul, this is Liz Chapfield, Dean's fiancee," Brian introduced us.

Paul reached out his hand to me and I shook it. His eyes seemed a bit dreamy but very intense at the same time. I wasn't sure what to make of it. Paul finally sat down in his seat, but he did it by sliding down the back of the seat and he didn't drop his feet first, which made it much more difficult for his body than it really needed to be. I liked Brian, but I wasn't so sure about Paul. He seemed to be a living parody of himself, and I couldn't tell if he was doing it to be funny or if he was just super arrogant.

I did notice that Brian introduced me as Dean's fiancee and Paul reacted with the same nonchalance as Brian did. I thought everyone in town didn't like carnies. I was beginning to realize that there was a whole other side to the town that I had no clue about.

:-:

The movie finished and I walked out with Brian and Paul. It was after 4 in the afternoon and Bo had probably figured out a long time ago that I wasn't still in line. Paul ran ahead of me to get to a white truck parked near the theater. Brian looked at me and asked, "You need a ride?"

Paul took the front seat before I could call it. I replied sheepishly, "Would you mind driving me back to Uncle Trumbly's house?"

Brian looked at me with a sense of concern as he asked, "Is there no one around to pick you up?"

I quickly explained, "I was fighting with my ride on the way here. I don't really want to see him, right now, but if you're busy, I'll walk back to the school and find him."

"The school is a long way from here! You shouldn't have to walk there!" Brian acted like it was a travesty to even allow it.

"I'll be fine. I walked here on my own, I can walk back. I like to walk," I said.

Brian shook his head and replied, "I can drive you to your uncle's house, no problem."

I thanked him and he added, "You sure you don't want to go back to the school? I mean, I don't want you to think you can't go there just because of some haters. We have a no tolerance policy on bullying. You could get their asses expelled for treating you bad."

"I think I'll talk to my uncle about it. I was considering home school," I mentioned.

Brian looked away and said, "Guess we won't be seeing that much of each other, then."

"Dean should be at the house. I think you should ask him about coming over to play more games. I think he would like that."

Brian smiled and nodded. Paul opened the passenger door and called out to us, "Come on! We're losing daylight!"

"Do you have somewhere to be?" I asked Brian.

"No, he's just...being a dick," Brian answered.

Paul started slapping the top of the truck to get our attention, but it soon turned into a rhythmic beat-boxing routine as he made noises with his mouth and his hand. Brian sighed and shook his head. I asked curiously, "Is he your friend or a family member?"

"He's my boyfriend. A decision that fills me with regret on a regular basis," Brian answered with another sigh.

"If I died right now, would you be sad?" Paul called to Brian while he continued to freestyle.

"Not in the least," Brian called back to him.

Paul ignored him and beat-boxed even louder. Brian walked me to the truck and opened Paul's door. Paul proceeded to throw himself out of his seat and onto the pavement, acting like we had managed to put him off-balance. Brian motioned to a clean back seat and I climbed in. He stuck his head in and told me, "I'm sorry about Paul. He's an acquired taste."

"Like fine wine?" Paul asked, standing up straight.

"Like Limburger cheese," Brian answered.

Paul shot past Brian into the front seat as he said, "Some people like Limburger."

"Very few. Very few people," Brian argued as he closed the door.

Paul flinched like the door hit him, even though I saw that it didn't. Brian got in the driver's side and we headed outside of town. Paul had the window down and he was watching the world go by. He was somehow just as odd in his ease as he was during his manic moments. He would turn to look at Brian from time to time. Paul's handsome face kept surprising me each time I looked at him. I didn't expect him to be ugly by any means, but I guess I didn't expect him to look like a model, either. He was deceptively average with his thin build and his unassuming hairstyle, yet he had the face of a man who should be the lead singer of a rock band or the fresh face of an Indie romance.

Brian glanced at me in the rear-view mirror and asked, "Are you sure your ride won't be missing you?"

"Bo's probably back at the house by now. I'm really not sorry for ditching him," I confessed.

With a quick nod, Brian mentioned, "I really hope you didn't make your decision not to register because of a few bad apples. People can be jerks."

"I really wanted to do home school, anyway," I said.

"Is there a teacher at your uncle's place?" Brian asked.

He was more perceptive than I thought. I shook my head and answered, "I don't know, yet. I'm sure somebody would be willing to teach me."

Paul chimed in with, "There's always online school. They have classes you can do from home."

"I'll look into that," I replied simply.

Brian glanced at me in the mirror, again. He seemed disappointed by my lack of initiative. I really didn't want to say too much more about it because I knew that I'd be fighting with my uncle and Dean very soon over not registering.

We passed the trees at the roadside and Brian changed the subject when he said, "Looks like they're getting the cleanup done, quickly."

"Most of the carnies are helping. Dean and Sheamus included," I mentioned.

Brian nodded and replied, "I saw them out by Mr. Fowler's house last week. Those guys work hard."

"Is it rare to have tornadoes out here?" I asked curiously.

Brian shrugged and answered, "We've had a couple of small ones come through. Nothing this bad."

We drove the rest of the way in silence. As soon as Brian pulled up to the house, I could see Uncle Trumbly with Bo, Sheamus and Dean standing on the front steps. They all cocked their heads at us when they saw the unfamiliar truck coming their way. Brian slowed to park beside them and he was almost at a complete stop when Jericho ran out from behind the steps and slammed into the front of the truck.

Paul shrieked and nearly climbed out of his seat. Brian sat there with a stunned look on his face. I frowned and argued, "I don't understand why he does that!"

Brian glanced back at me and asked, "Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's fine. He either enjoys it or he likes to scare people. I'm not really sure."

Jericho stood up and brushed himself off. He had some bugs stuck to his face from smacking into the grill. He waved at us like everything was normal. Brian and Paul waved back, still looking dumbfounded. Jericho walked away.

None of us realized Dean was at Paul's window until he asked, "Liz?"

Paul shrieked again and grabbed his chest dramatically. I waved at Dean from the back and said, "I found some of your friends."

"Yeah, I can see that," Dean glanced at Paul and Brian.

Sheamus came up behind Dean and nodded a quick hello to Brian and Paul. Brian waved back and opened his door to get out of the truck. He was coming around to open Paul's door and let me out, but Dean beat him to it. Paul got out and moved aside so Dean could push the seat forward and help me. I put my hands on his shoulders and he held my waist to guide me back to earth.

Dean smelled strongly of paint and his eyes were tired as he asked somberly, "Where have you been?"

His usual bark had faded and I didn't know how to react as I stuttered, "A-a-at the movies."

He frowned but didn't start with me. I glanced back at Uncle Trumbly, but he was shaking Brian's hand. Paul was flirting with Sheamus while they stood close together and talked in low tones. Bo had conveniently disappeared.

I looked back up at Dean. He was exhausted. I had a whole speech planned about how home school was the right thing to do. I didn't have the heart to make a big deal about it.

"I have to tell you something, Liz," Dean said, his voice still soft.

"What is it?" I asked, searching his eyes for a clue.

Dean was still tired as he told me thickly, "We can't find Abbey. We think Hefram took her."


	29. Chapter 29

29:

"Oh, Dean!" I cried.

He held me in his arms while we laid in my bed. It was late at night, or maybe the early morning hours. I had been crying for so long that I thought I'd never stop.

"Oh, Dean! Oh, Dean!" I kept repeating over and over.

Saying his name brought me a little bit of comfort, but I still had no idea how to process what had happened.

I went somewhere else after Dean told me that Abbey was gone and they thought my father, Hefram, had taken her. There was a part of me that felt some hope she might not actually be gone. Dean did say they _thought_ she was taken by my father. It was a stupid thing to cling to, but I just couldn't take losing Abbey one more time.

The rest of the night rushed by in fragments. Brian shook my hand and said he'd come back another time. He said something about he hoped that everything was alright. Paul talked about staying the night with Sheamus and Sami. I think it was a joke. I still couldn't tell if Paul was joking or not.

Uncle Trumbly was shouting a lot. His face kept getting red and he would have to stop shouting to take a breath. Marlyn put her hand on his chest and told him he was going to have a heart attack. He gave her this look that I'd never seen, before. It was the first time I really saw Uncle Trumbly's love for Marlyn in his eyes.

My father never looked at Abbey that way.

Dean kept telling me that everything was okay. People were asking me questions from time to time. We were outside and then in the living room. I think we went to Uncle Trumbly's office for a while. There was a lot of commotion. People were in and out of the group. Dean was always by my side. Uncle Trumbly was always in my sight.

Dean took me to dinner. There were people shouting and grabbing food and Miz asked me some questions. The comfort he usually brought me was nowhere to be found. He whispered something to Dean that I couldn't hear. I felt so out of place. I wanted to go home. I wanted to find Abbey at the house. She would be washing dishes at the kitchen sink. The sink was white but made of iron. The hot faucet handle didn't work right. The veins on Abbey's right hand would strain when she turned it on. She would always have a rag draped over the edge of the sink to catch any splashes of water.

My father would be in the living room reading his Bible. He would have the tall lamp on. He liked the light because it hung down at an angle. The, "Perfect reading angle," he would call it.

I remembered the smell of our house. It was like stale bread. Not a happy smell, but one that I had become accustomed to. I asked Dean to take some bread upstairs with us. I put it against my nose and took in some deep breaths. It wasn't quite the same. It was too fresh.

I started crying at some point while telling Dean that I thought my father would take Abbey back to our house because he wasn't smart enough to take her anywhere else. I don't know if I was crying because it had hit me that Abbey really was gone, or if I was crying because it was the first time that I had ever criticized my father's intelligence. It was like I had been afraid my whole life to say anything negative about him because I was sure he would find out about it and exact the most severe of punishments. Now that I had dared to speak up, he didn't suddenly appear to punish me. He didn't have to. He had taught me to punish myself in his absence.

I was saying crazy things. I was crying and arguing with myself. I wondered if this is what being delirious felt like.

Dean didn't say a word. He didn't tell me to stop or call me crazy. He took me in his arms and let me cry for the longest time. I repeated his name like some mantra out loud and in my head. It helped me not to think about how horrible my father was being to Abbey. I tried to fall asleep, but I would immediately jerk awake from nightmares of my father's angry face while he screamed horrible things and pushed Abbey far away from me.

Then, there was giggling.

I stopped crying and listened.

Giggling. It was definitely giggling.

I rolled over on my back and sat up in bed. The room was dark. I glanced over at Dean. He was fast asleep, probably too exhausted after a long day of work followed by all I had put him through. I didn't have the heart to wake him. I inched my way to the foot of the bed and stood up on the hardwood floor. The wood was cool under my feet, but the air in the room felt thick and hot.

"...you know all that," a female voice drifted into my line of hearing.

I tried to listen more intently.

Another giggle, followed by a man's voice responding, "Yeah, I know."

I couldn't believe it.

Charlotte and Kevin. It had to be the two of them, their voices coming through the vent from the room just down the ramp. _Did they really have no shame?_

I was mad. I reached for the door knob. It was hot when I turned it. I opened the door and rushed down the ramp. I went straight to the room where I knew Charlotte and Kevin would be. I banged on the door and yelled, "How dare you?!"

The door boomed when I hit it. I made at least three attempts to knock, but there was no answer. I listened intently, believing Charlotte and Kevin were still in there.

I heard the giggling, again.

It was soft and low, like someone was trying to hide the fact that they were about to burst into a fit of laughter. I realized that it wasn't coming from the room. It was coming from somewhere nearby.

Charlotte and Kevin were making fun of me. _I knew it!_

I stormed down the hallway. I banged on every door. I called out to them, but they still weren't coming out from their hiding place. I could hear Charlotte's stupid giggling everywhere I went. I followed the sound down the stairs. I trailed behind the giggling all the way outside. I stumbled in the grass at some point and it felt really soft in my hands.

More giggling.

 _They were playing games with me!_

I stood up straight. I could still feel some heat against my skin. I thought it was because of the unusually thick air. It left a water slick on my arms.

I kept walking. I was intent on finding Charlotte and Kevin. I was going in the direction of the barns where Sheamus slept. I stopped short when I realized that Charlotte and Kevin wouldn't hide where Sheamus could hear them.

The giggling was starting to go on for a little longer. I would hear it and then it would stop. It would start again and I would follow it, only to lose it again for a short time. I searched and searched, but I never saw any sign of Charlotte and Kevin. I was starting to wonder if they were even around at all. If they weren't, then who was making those sounds?

I turned to look back at the house, but it wasn't there.

A lion sat in the clearing.

He shook his head up to the right and up to the left. His mane moved with him. His yellow eyes reflected against the light of the moon. He opened his mouth and yawned. His teeth were huge and he let out a lazy groan.

I don't remember moving, but I was suddenly very close to him. He shook his head, again. His tail flopped down on the ground. It made a loud THUMP.

He didn't look mad. He didn't look menacing. He was just watching me with mild interest, like he wondered what _I_ was going to do. I heard the giggling sound, again. I held my breath and listened.

The giggling sound was coming from the lion.

He wasn't giggling. He was _purring_.

My eyes opened slowly. I was having trouble moving my arms and legs. I opened my hands and curled my toes. I breathed slowly until I felt like I could move more easily. I was aware that my surroundings were different. It smelled like the barns. I was lying on a wooden floor instead of my bed.

The giggling sound started, again.

I froze.

I could hear him before I could see him. He sounded like a house cat put on super heavy bass. I heard his tail THUMP when he swished it. He wasn't giggling, but purring. It was like the vibration of an idle tractor engine.

I dared to move my eyes to the left. I saw him lying on his side facing me. It took all I had to move my head so I could see him, better.

A lion. A _real_ lion.

He looked like he was very close to me, but we were actually separated by a series of thick bars. He had plenty of space to roam on his side, but he was pressing himself against the bars to get a better look at me, his new visitor.

The lion rubbed his face against the bar closest to his head. He looked very calm and collected compared to the lions I usually saw on TV. He was probably used to people and thought I was there to feed him. His tail made more THUMP-THUMP noises as he waited for me to do something.

My arms felt wet.

I used my eyes to make sure that there were bars from wall to wall and no possible opening for the lion to get through before I tried to sit up. I made slow and deliberate movements so he wouldn't get upset with me. He watched me and purred like I was not particularly interesting but still worth a bit of his time. I made it up to my feet and checked my arms. They looked like they were covered in slobber.

"Did I try to pet you?" I asked the lion.

He turned away and focused on something in the corner like he were avoiding the question. I checked to make sure I had all my fingers. There were no signs of injuries.

"I should go. Dean is probably looking for me," I told the lion.

He looked back at me when I moved. I decided to back way very slowly until I made it to the door. He watched me the whole time, his body language relaxed but his gaze intense.

My back bumped up against the door knob. I reached around to turn it. The knob was hot like in my dream. I opened the door and waved good-bye to the lion before slipping out of the barn.

I felt kind of sad once I was outside. I would've stayed and talked to him some more, but I knew that Dean would never let me hear the end of it if he found out I was petting a lion in my sleep. I argued with myself for picking the lion when I could've just as easily ended up next to an elephant or a horse.

This was the first time I had been sleepwalking in a long while. I thought I was doing better. I was so busy cursing myself that I almost didn't recognize Sheamus calling to me.

"Liz! Liz!" Sheamus came up on my right side.

He looked me over and picked some straw out of my hair. I immediately went into defense mode as I stated, "I'm fine. Really, I'm fine."

Sheamus glanced down at the slobber on my arms. He glanced behind me at the barn with the lion in it. He was normally really pale, but he somehow managed to become more pale when he realized where I had just come from.

"I'm fine! Don't tell Dean!" I shouted.

"Don't tell me what?" Dean replied from my other side.

I whirled around to face him. He looked stern like he was bracing himself for something completely outrageous.

"I was sleepwalking! Again! So what?! Old news!" I waved my arms in the air.

Dean grabbed my right arm and I easily slipped out of his grasp because of the slobber. He rubbed it between his fingers and glanced behind me at the barn with the lion. He looked back at me and opened his mouth, but Sheamus cut him off with, "I fund Liz at Lara's burn."

I had no idea who Lara was, but I nodded. Dean lifted his slobbery hand and argued, "You expect me to believe that Lara did this?"

" _S_ _í_ _tá_ _mar milis mar_ _sí_ _tá_ _fiosrach_."

Whatever Sheamus said made his Irish sex appeal all the more obvious, but it did very little to give me any hints about who Lara was. I figured he didn't try to lend me anything because Dean would've noticed right away.

"Yeah, well, she doesn't usually spit so much," Dean pulled a rag from the pocket of his coveralls and used it to wipe my arms off.

He checked my skin for injuries while he was at it. While Dean was focused on my arms, I glanced back at Sheamus for a clue about who Lara was. He craned his neck and opened his mouth to stick his tongue out. He curled it at an odd angle. I decided that Lara must be a giraffe.

"The barns are usually locked at night, Liz. How'd you get inside of one?" Dean asked suddenly.

I didn't really know how to answer him. I shrugged and said, "I guess one of them was unlocked."

Dean had finished wiping down my arms but he was taking his time with my fingers. He looked past me at Sheamus and asked, "You think someone opened it for her?"

"Who?" Sheamus replied curiously.

"Bo, maybe," Dean said.

Dean was still holding the fingers of my left hand. Sheamus came around so I didn't have to turn back to look at him as he replied, "Naw, Bo's nawt ta vengeful type."

"Is Bo really that mad at me for leaving him at the high school?" I asked Dean.

"Doesn't seem like it," Dean shrugged.

There was still some suspicion in his eyes. I wondered if Dean had found out about how Bo treated me. We were interrupted when Uncle Trumbly called from the house, "Elizabeth!"

We all turned to face him. He was holding the keys to his classic car in his right hand. I started walking to meet him halfway. Sheamus was on one side of me while Dean took my other side. He was still holding on to my fingers and Dean clasped my hand in his instead of letting me go.

Trumbly explained when he came close, "We've got a lead on Abbey. She was able to make a call from a gas station in Texas."

"Well, let's go and get her!" I shouted.

Uncle Trumbly frowned and replied, "You're not going with us, Elizabeth."

"What? Why not!" I argued.

"It's too dangerous! You're already stressed out enough as it is! I will worry about Abbey and you will worry about getting registered for school!"

He turned on his heel and walked off before I could argue some more. I looked at Dean and yelled, "He can't do this!"

"You're going to have to trust your uncle, Liz," Dean stated.

His tone made it sound like he wasn't in the mood to aruge. I watched as Uncle Trumbly got into his car and pulled around to the driveway. I could see two other people in the back, but I couldn't make out who they were. Trumbly drove off quickly and I let go of Dean's hand as I screamed, "I'm so tired of everybody treating me like I'm a child!"

I stormed off. I heard Dean call from behind me, "We're not treating you like you're a child, Liz. We're treating you like you're _with_ child!"

He thought he was so right all the time. It made me mad. I stormed my way into the house and all the way to Uncle Trumbly's office. I picked up the phone and called Seth's number. It went to voicemail and I shouted without even thinking, "My goldfish died! Hefram kidnapped Abbey! I woke up next to a lion! And guess what?! I'm not going to finish high school!"

I slammed the phone down so hard that it flopped out of its cradle and bounced off the floor.

I immediately realized what I had done, but it was too late.

Maybe Uncle Trumbly was right to make me stay home.


	30. Chapter 30

30:

"Liz."

"What?"

"...Elizabeth."

"What?!"

Dean was staring at me from where he stood across the room by the vanity. He had just gotten out of the shower and he was combing his hair before he dressed. I was sitting on the edge of my bed. My feet were dangling over the edge. They felt like they were burning and they were terribly swollen. I couldn't even get my sandals on this morning.

I was trying to occupy myself by watching out the window. Ever since I called Seth the day before and left him that wild message, I was completely sure he would be pulling up in the driveway at any minute.

I had yet to tell Dean about my meltdown.

"Liz," Dean said once more.

He refused to let me have any peace. He knew that something was up and I didn't want to tell him.

"You've got work today, don't you?" I tried to be as nonchalant as possible.

Dean wandered over to me. He sat down on the floor and put my feet in his lap. He started massaging them while he looked up at me. I could practically see the anger building behind his eyes. He was on to me, and he was ready to argue the minute I confessed.

"You're really good at massages, but that doesn't mean I want to talk to you!" I fell back against the bed so I didn't have to look at his penetrating gaze.

I expected him to get up and go back to the vanity. He didn't. Instead, he massaged my feet for a while, then went up to my ankles. Me massaged my calves all the way up to my knees. It felt really, really nice.

"Are you only doing this so I will tell you things?" I tried to catch him off-guard.

"I'm doing this because it will help you to feel better, Liz," Dean growled.

"Well...it does make me feel better, thank you," I replied.

My lower back was starting to hurt from hanging my legs over the edge too long. I sat up on my elbows to reach for Dean so he could help me get up, but he opened my legs and propped my knees up on his shoulders. The pink orange seed between my legs started to throb as Dean put his palms against the back of my thighs. He used his thumbs to perform a circular massage that felt so good on my tired muscles. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back, enjoying Dean's touch as well as his attention.

"I know you were upset yesterday, and I'm sorry for not being more supportive of you," Dean said while he worked.

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times. He was probably trying to feel me out. I cleared my throat and answered, "You were being supportive. There's no apology needed."

"You took off for a while. Did you go for another walk?" Dean asked.

"I just wandered around the house for a while," I answered quickly.

Dean started to get up. I thought he was going to tell me he knew I was in Uncle Trumbly's office. Instead, he climbed into bed and gently turned me on my side to face away from him. He lay down behind me and he used his right hand to rub the top of my hip bone. I didn't even know how sore it was until he was working with it. I closed my eyes and hummed as I felt equal parts pressure and tenderness.

He moved on to my lower back and kicked my feet a little bit. Dean leaned into my ear and whispered, "Is that painful?"

"No, it's just...I didn't know my back was so sore," I moaned.

Dean started doing that circular massage with his thumbs, again. It felt so good!

"Oh, Dean! Oh, Dean, make love to me!" I breathed.

I started to roll over to face him, but he told me, "Just stay where you are."

He pulled my underwear off easily and lifted up my dress. He pressed his body against my back and came in from behind. This was a new position for me and I gasped a little with surprise.

"Are you uncomfortable?" Dean asked.

"No, it feels good," I answered softly.

He started moving his hips and building a rhythm. I was relaxed from the massage and the excitement of the new position made my whole body shudder in response. Dean pulled me in closer and he started thrusting a little faster. I moaned and took hold of his right hand over my hip. I brought it up and put it over my breast.

Dean groaned and made faster thrusts. He seemed more responsive this time. I could feel him squeezing my breast just enough to feel good. I moaned a little louder and Dean groaned again.

It felt so good that I didn't notice the odd sound in the background for a while.

"Please stop for a second," I said to Dean.

He did and the sound became more obvious. It was the usual moaning and groaning of Charlotte and Kevin coming through the vent. I immediately became embarrassed when I realized that they easily could have been listening to us.

"Oh, no!" I buried my head in my hands.

Dean pulled out but didn't get up. The moaning and groaning from Charlotte and Kevin suddenly stopped short. Charlotte shouted first, "Why the hell are you stopping?!"

"They're done," Kevin replied shortly.

He made it sound like whatever game they were playing was no longer fun. Charlotte shot back, "Well, I'm not finished!"

"SO WHAT?!" Kevin roared.

They started screaming at each other, but I was too mortified to listen. Dean tried to roll me over to face him, but I curled up so he couldn't see my bright red face. Dean whispered into my ear, "It's okay, Liz. They were trying to make it a competition so they could outdo us. It's nothing to worry about."

"But they heard me moaning! They know how I sound when we're having sex!" I was so dismayed.

Dean got out of bed. He was already out the door before I could sit up. I heard him storm down to the room at the bottom of the ramp and Dean banged on the door. I heard Kevin open it and shout, "What the fuck do you want?!"

"I want you to find another fucking place to fuck!" Dean shot back.

Charlotte started laughing. Kevin shouted angrily, "Why? Is your shy little girlfriend too afraid to listen to our epic fuckery?!"

"YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Dean yelled.

"WHY DON'T YOU SHUT IT FOR ME?!" Kevin countered.

I'd had enough. I got out of bed and picked my underwear up off the floor. The moment was gone. Dean and Kevin continued shouting at each other while Charlotte laughed in the background. I took some clothes from the dresser and went into the bathroom. I could still hear their muffled arguing after I closed the door.

I put the clothes down and started the shower. I started thinking about Seth and I wondered if he had gotten my message. Then I thought about the possibility that someone else could have heard it. He said he had a girlfriend back in Florida. Would she see my name on Seth's phone and wonder why I was calling him? Would she become horribly jealous and break up with him? What if he was listening to my message while out with friends? Would they think I was some crazy woman?

I was so deep in thought that I didn't even notice anyone was in the bathroom until the curtain flew back and Charlotte yelled at me, "What do you think you're doing?"

My body jumped from the surprise of Charlotte and the cold she let in through the open bathroom door. I tried to cover myself as I argued, "Get out of here!"

"You need to go downstairs and tell Dean to fuck off!" Charlotte told me.

"I'm not going to do that!" I argued.

"Yes, you are!" Charlotte grabbed my arm.

Charlotte yanked me out of the tub and I stumbled along the way. I landed hard on my knees and cried out in pain. Charlotte let go of me and shouted, "Why are you such a baby!"

"What the fuck is going on in here?!" Dean rushed through the door.

I tried to get up, but my knees were burning. Dean took my arm to guide me up to my feet. I told him before he did, "Please get me a towel! I don't want your brother to see me naked!"

I was surprised to see Charlotte reaching for one. She handed it to Dean and he wrapped it around me. Dean helped me back up and he led me out of the bathroom. I still had some soap in my hair and I was drenched. The shower was still on. Dean took me to his bed, which was closest to the bathroom. I sat down and he looked over my knees. They were bleeding a little bit. He took one corner of the towel and dabbed the blood away.

Charlotte leaned against the bathroom doorway and folded her arms. She watched me with a judgmental expression, like she thought I was faking any distress. Kevin opened the bedroom door and walked in like he was invited. He let out a loud belch and jumped in my bed, making it bounce a couple of times under his weight.

I tried to keep my focus on Dean so I wouldn't cry. I was in pain and I was really mad at Charlotte for pulling on me like that. I could've easily fallen on my belly. Kevin made a loud sniff and replied dryly, "It smells like semi-virgin sex in here."

Until that moment, Dean was focused on my knees. When he looked up, his blue eyes were surrounded by flames. He stood up slowly. Deliberately.

Dean clenched his fists and told Kevin, "Get. The. Fuck. Out."

I looked at Charlotte. She seemed nervous as she looked at Kevin and said, "Let's go for a walk."

"I don't wanna go outside," Kevin argued.

Dean started to move. He had only taken a couple of steps when Kevin stood up out of my bed and said, "Changed my mind."

Kevin started to walk out of the room, but he took his time just to annoy Dean. Charlotte was quick to follow after Kevin. She slammed the door behind them.

"Dean?" I asked.

He was still staring at the door like he wanted so badly to go after those two.

"Dean? I still have soap in my hair. Would you help me finish my shower?" I asked.

He slowly turned around to face me. I took the towel off to give him more incentive to help me. He came over and took my arm to help me up. He led me back to the shower and made sure the water was warm before he let me step back in. Dean pulled the shower curtain closed but stayed by the tub in case I needed him. I finished rinsing off and asked, "Is there an extra towel around?"

Dean had a fresh one waiting for me when I turned the water off and pulled the curtain back. I stepped out and he used the towel to dry me off. He was careful around my knees. I asked him quietly, "Is it really bad?" 

"No, just skinned," he replied.

"Charlotte wanted me to tell you to go away," I said.

Dean simply nodded.

"I called Seth, yesterday. I told him Abbey was gone and I didn't want to go back to high school. He's probably coming to tell me what an idiot I am."

Dean nodded, again.

"Did you know I called Seth?" I asked curiously.

"I had a hunch," Dean answered.

"Do you think I love him instead of you?" I asked.

"I think you find him easier to talk to than me," Dean answered.

"That's not true!" I started, but I stopped when I realized that I didn't really have a better excuse for why I called Seth.

:-:

Dean went out to work with the other carnies. I wandered around the front yard, anxiously waiting for Seth to arrive. I wandered over to the side of the house when I heard a voice shout from above, "What's wrong, Sugar?"

I looked up and saw Naomi poking her head out of an open window. She smiled and waved. I waved back at her and shouted back, "I'm fine! I'm just waiting for someone!"

"Trumbly won't be back for a while, hon," Naomi informed me.

"I know! I'm waiting for Seth! I called and asked him to come and see me!" I told her.

She nodded and pursed her lips. I wondered what she was thinking. Naomi waved to me once more and said, "Don't stay out in the sun too long!"

"I won't!" I shouted.

Naomi disappeared from my view and I started walking some more. I circled the house a few times and sat down on the front steps. It was getting closer to noon time, but Seth was nowhere to be seen. I thought about going to Trumbly's office and calling him, again.

I suddenly realized how selfish I was being. I just assumed he was coming without thinking about the fact that he might be busy. I left him such a crazy message that he was probably afraid to come here and deal with me.

There was movement in the distance. I watched as Kane came out from one of the sheds and went across to another shed. I wondered if he was still upset with me for what happened with Stephanie. I thought I would be considerate and wave at him if he looked up at me. He kept his head down as he walked around to the back of the shed and disappeared behind it.

I glanced around. There was no one else in sight. I sighed and thought about going back inside for a while. It was getting pretty hot. I stood up and looked back at the shed where Kane had just been. I noticed something blowing up around the side of it. At first, I thought it was dust kicking up, but then I realized it wasn't windy.

I blinked a few times as I tried to process what it was.

Smoke. It was _smoke_.

"Kane!" I shouted as I rushed to get closer.

My mind was trying to rationalize what I was seeing. He must be burning something behind the shed. He was fine and I was rushing for nothing. My gut told me it wasn't a minor thing.

The smoke started to build up into one big black cloud. It curled along the side of the shed, spun across the roof and floated up into the bright blue sky like a lazy balloon. The smell caught up to me as I reached the door of the shed. It was an awful stench that made me want to turn away. I covered my mouth and nose and tried to open the latch to the shed.

It was old and difficult to open. I tried to yank on it, but the latch started to get hot. I could see through the cracks of shed's wooden walls. There were little flickers of yellow and red light that kept dancing up and disappearing somewhere within the shed. It was like someone had turned on blinking Christmas lights. It was beautiful and scary at the same time.

"Kane!" I banged on the door.

He didn't answer me.

The smoke was getting thicker. I thought about turning back and getting some help from inside the house, but the guys were off doing cleanup after the tornado and I didn't know how long it would take me to find help.

I tried the latch, again. It was getting hotter. The little flickering lights were rising up. I was aware that there was a fire, but I couldn't see where Kane was at all.

"Kane!" I shouted once more.

The black smoke offended my eyes and stuffed my lungs. I felt like it was trying to push me away. I tried to shout one more time, "Kane!"

"Liz?" I heard his voice come from inside the shed.

"The shed is on fire!" I warned him.

I heard shuffling and stumbling from inside the shed. Kane started coughing. I decided to forget about the door and I ran around to the opposite side of the shed where there was less smoke. I went around to the back and I saw that there were a couple of pieces of wood pushed aside where Kane had gotten in.

I was too pregnant to fit through the small space. I went up to it and shouted, "Kane!"

There were flames everywhere. The black smoke came out in one big plume and I fell backwards. I hit the ground on my butt and watched as the flames started to consume the shed faster than it took me to decide what I could do.

A piece of wood fell near my leg and I rolled out of the way. I struggled to sit up as I heard the crackling and popping of the fire. When I turned around, it seemed like the fire had gotten even bigger.

"Kane!" I shouted once more.

He didn't respond to me. A section of the shed collapsed in on itself. I saw an opening and I ran through it.

There was black smoke everywhere. The fire was bright and it hurt my eyes. The smoke made it hard to see. I remembered learning something in school about crawling on hands and knees. I got down on the floor and felt around.

"Kane! Kane!" I could only manage to shout his name because the smoke made it hard to speak.

He still wasn't responding. I felt something soft and I grabbed onto it. It was heavy when I tried to pull on it. I thought it had to be Kane and I pulled the weight with me until I was back out of the shed.

I pulled the weight along until I felt it was safe enough to stop. Some Carnies from inside the house had seen the fire and they were coming out to help. Mable, Lydia and Dylan, the little people who I usually saw in the living room, where making their way over to check on me. I could see a couple of women I had never met before who were screaming near the front steps.

Dylan put his arm on my shoulder and asked, "Are you okay, Liz?"

"Yeah! Yes, I am, but Kane..."

I turned to look at the weight I was carrying, but I was surprised to see that it wasn't Kane.

I was holding on to the coveralls of a scarecrow.

"Oh, no! I thought this was Kane! I was trying to save Kane!"

Dylan nodded and we all looked back at the shed. It was crumbling before our eyes. Dylan turned to me and said, "I have to go get help before the other sheds go up. You stay here."

I nodded and he ran off. Lydia and Mable came over to stand on either side of me. The three of us watched as the fire and smoke dissolved what was left of the structure. Tears streamed down my face and I let go of the scarecrow.

Lydia put her hand on my shoulder. I turned to face her. She carried an expression of sadness as well as knowing. She told me somberly, "It wasn't your fault, Liz. The boy wanted to be with his mother."

I burst into tears.


	31. Chapter 31

31:

 _I could see the flames coming up through the shed. The night sky was aglow with red and yellow light. I knew Kane was inside, but I just stood there, frozen in time._

 _Sheamus came out from the shed where he slept. Sami rushed out after him and shouted, "Sheamus! You can't save them all!"_

 _I looked back at the shed engulfed in flames. I saw animals leaping out from the fire. Dozens of birds flew up into the sky. Deer jumped out from the sides and disappeared into the darkness behind the shed. Leo the lion stumbled out of the flames and rushed out of sight. An elephant stormed through the only part left standing and the shed was smashed to bits by the remaining tigers, giraffes and rhinos that stampeded through the fire._

 _Kane was nowhere to be seen. Sheamus fell to his knees and began wailing, "Oh, me lovely children! Me precious creatures!"_

" _There's nothing you can do! It's all lost!" Sami was yelling at Sheamus._

 _The shed was gone, but the fire was still going strong. Sheamus stood up and turned to face me. His eyes were angry and his voice roared through my ears as he screamed, "WHY'D YOU GO AN' TRY TA SAVE HIM?"_

" _I didn't! I didn't save him!" I shook my head violently._

 _Sheamus was furious. He grabbed my shoulders and he turned into my father. Hefram put his face really close to mine and continued yelling, "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HIM, LIZ? WHY!"_

" _I don't know! I tried! I tried!" I repeated over and over._

 _My father's disapproving face just stared at me like I was lying._

"I tried! I..." I was still shouting as I opened my eyes.

The room was dark, but the bed felt like mine. I saw something move in the darkness and Dean turned on the light beside the bed. He sat down beside me and took my hand between both of his. He asked me thickly, "Are you alright?"

"What? I was..." I struggled to pick up the pieces.

I remembered the latch on the shed being hot. I remembered the flickering lights. I remembered calling to Kane. These were all the things that really happened. I kept dreaming that I saw him through the shed's wooden walls, but I never actually saw him while the shed was burning. My dreams were so vivid since the fire that it was hard to tell what was memory and what was not.

Tears formed in my eyes as I told Dean, "I keep dreaming that I can't save him. He needs my help and I can't move. There's always someone there who is disappointed in me. It was Sheamus this time, then he turned into Daddy."

Dean leaned down and pressed his lips to mine to comfort me. When he pulled away, he replied, "It was just a dream, Liz. You did try to save Kane. You were brave, and everyone knows it."

"But I wasn't! I pulled a scarecrow out of that shed, not Kane! It was stupid! It was so stupid!" I told him.

Dean shook his head. He kissed me again, then he kissed the tears away when they tried to fall down my cheeks.

"It's really not your fault, Liz. You did everything that you could," Seth said from where he was lying in bed beside me.

Dean gave him a hard glare and argued, "That's what I just said!"

"I was just repeating it for emphasis!" Seth waved his hands in the air.

Dean started to get up to go back to his own bed, but I grabbed his hand so he wouldn't leave. He made a frustrated sigh and reluctantly sat back down next to me. I asked him honestly, "What does Bray think about me?"

I felt the most upset for Bray. He had lost Finn, Stephanie and Kane, the only people who he claimed as his family, in just a few short weeks. Every one of their deaths were linked to me in some way. It would be astonishing if he didn't think I was a curse.

"He doesn't think anything about you," Dean replied easily.

That actually sounded worse than if Bray were mad at me. I opened my mouth to argue, but Seth reassured me, "What Dean is trying to say is that Bray doesn't hate you, Liz."

"How do you know for sure?" I turned to look at Seth.

"Because he said you could come with him and the other carnies to spread Kane's ashes by Stephanie's grave. If he really hated you, he would've told you to f-off."

Seth had a good point. Even Dean seemed impressed.

I nodded and Seth said more quietly, "You should go back to sleep, now. I'm surprised we haven't woken up the wife."

He pointed with his thumb over his shoulder. I sat up on my elbows to peek at Seth's new bride. Her name was Bayley and she was small and cute and smiled brightly enough to replace the sun. Since their arrival two nights previously, she had been nothing but understanding and sweet to everyone she met. Bayley even seemed to enjoy Dean's usual orneriness, to the point where she offered to bake him cookies to turn his frown upside down.

For some reason, it made me more sad that I couldn't even hate her.

She was fast asleep and facing away from us. I wondered if she was really awake and listening to all of this, but I doubted it since she wasn't telling me how everything would be fine. Seth laid back against the bed and I tried to lay down, too. Dean stood up and I still didn't want to let go of his hand, but I did so he could get into his own bed and go back to sleep. He reached for the light and turned it off. The last thing I saw was the glint in his eyes as he mouthed the words, "I love you."

I was surrounded by people who cared about me, and I felt so guilty for it.

:-:

No matter what I did, I still dreamed about Kane.

I woke up coughing like the flames were still around me. The sun was just coming up through the window. The room was humid and Seth was snoring quietly beside me. I carefully got out of bed and took some clothes out from the dresser. I found a dress in the closet and went to the bathroom.

I quietly closed the door and turned on the shower. Bayley and Seth hadn't taken a shower since they got to the house. I was going to skip a shower myself this morning and let them have a chance to take one. I changed my clothes and went to the sink to wash my face and put my hair up.

The bathroom door opened and Dean walked in. He closed the door quietly behind him. I was surprised he was being so courteous, but then I remembered Bayley was around. Dean would've been as loud as he wanted to if it were just Seth staying with us.

"You don't have to get up just for me. I can't sleep, anymore," I told Dean.

He didn't say anything. He sat down on the clothes hamper and watched me until I was finished getting freshened up. I told him again while I was tying my hair up, "You can go back to bed."

"Did you get any sleep at all?" he asked me.

I turned to face him and replied with a shrug, "Some."

"Some," he repeated and looked away.

I could tell that it bothered him I wasn't able to sleep. It was a problem he couldn't fix with his strength or his quick reasoning skills. I told him softly, "The dreams will go away. It'll just take time."

He nodded, but he still looked concerned as he said, "You're lucky Miz could look you over."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Dean looked up at me and replied somberly, "You could've come out of that shed with lung damage, Liz. You could've collapsed and died. Your baby would've died with you."

"...but we didn't," I said.

"But you could've," Dean's voice sounded strained.

I came a little closer to him. He reached out for me and pulled me close until his face was buried in my chest. He sniffed like he was trying to hold back tears. I ran my fingers through the hair around the back of his head and told him, "We didn't die. We're still here."

Dean looked up at me and whispered, "Sometimes, I have a hard time believing that."

I wasn't sure exactly what he meant by that. I was going to ask, but there was soft knock at the door and Bayley asked from the other side, "Liz? Are you done in there? I was just wondering if I could tinkle."

"Um...sure!" I went to open the door while Dean stood up behind me.

Bayley smiled brightly to greet me, then she saw Dean and she blushed as she asked, "Oh, my! Am I interrupting?!"

"No," Dean said as he moved past me and walked out of the bathroom.

Bayley watched him leave and then turned back to face me. She looked guilty as she whispered, "Are you sure I'm not interrupting?"

"No, it's fine. I was going to ask if you and Seth wanted to take a shower, today. There are towels by the bathtub and there's shampoo and everything in there-"

Bayley replied quickly, "Actually, Seth and I were talking about going to a hotel."

"Oh," I wasn't sure what to say.

Bayley tried to explain, "No, I didn't mean it like that! I mean, we just...we feel like we're kind of in the way, here. We want to stay until your Mom comes back, of course, but we just didn't want you to feel like everything is so cramped and all..."

She stopped talking when she realized that her explanation wasn't going anywhere.

"Babe?" Seth called from the bedroom.

Bayley rushed back over to talk to him. I walked out and found Dean by the vanity. He was straightening the jeans he wore all night. He usually slept in the nude, but had to take into account our guests. He made a face while he tugged his jeans around. He obviously looked uncomfortable and I felt bad that his hair was starting to rub off around his hips where the rim of his jeans kept slipping.

"Do you guys really want to go to a hotel?" I asked Bayley and Seth out loud.

Dean looked up in surprise. Bayley turned to face him and replied, "We just don't want to be in the way, is all."

"Actually, we're newlyweds and we want to get it on more often-" Seth started to joke, but Bayley slapped him in the face with a pillow to shut him up.

"That's fine, if you want to stay at a hotel," I said.

Bayley nodded, but Dean argued, "There's no reason for you two to spend a bunch of money on a hotel! We've got plenty of other rooms, here! There's an empty room just down from our at the bottom of the ramp, even!"

I immediately realized that Dean was referring to Kevin and Charlotte's sex room. Bayley was about to respond when I interjected, "Or maybe there's another room that you could stay in! You know, one with more privacy?" 

Seth's eyes widened and he glanced at the vent across the room. I had forgotten that he overheard Kevin and Charlotte the last time he came to visit. Bayley was oblivious as she replied, "We could take the room by the ramp! That shouldn't be a problem!"

"Actually, I think I want to be a little further away, you know?" Seth blurted out.

Bayley turned to face him with a confused expression and asked, "Why? What if Liz goes into labor? Don't you want to know the moment it happens?"

"Well, it's still a little bit early for that," Seth was scrambling to think of a good excuse to avoid the room.

Dean decided to use a more blunt approach, "I should've have offered the room by the ramp. That's where my brother and his girlfriend go to fuck. The mattress in there should probably be burned."

Bayley gasped and tried to hide the crimson in her cheeks. Seth loudly cleared his throat and added, "Oh, yes, that's right! Kevin and Charlotte stay in that room...and um...so, it's not empty..."

"I'll find you a room," Dean stated.

"Right! Well...thank you very much, Mr. Ambrose! We really do appreciate your hospitality and everything you've done for us so far," Bayley smiled.

"You can just call me Dean," he said.

"What?" Bayley asked.

"Dean. Nobody calls me Mr. Ambrose," he replied.

"Oh, I see..." Bayley's smile fell a little bit.

Seth tried to change the subject by asking, "Should we dare go to breakfast?"

Bayley clapped her hands together, but Dean quickly replied, "It's too early."

"Should we go for a walk?!" Seth shouted just to get away from the awkwardness.

"Let's go!" Bayley took his hand and they rushed out of the room.

"Jesus, I thought they'd never leave," Dean unzipped his jeans and pushed them down to free himself.

"You didn't have to correct Bayley about your name," I mentioned.

Dean turned to face the vanity and rubbed at the raw part of his hips as he growled, "I've told her a bunch of times to call me Dean. I don't see why she can't get it right."

"She's just trying to be polite," I told him.

"Yeah? Well, it's weird. No one calls me Mr. Ambrose," Dean replied.

He grabbed his brush from the vanity and tried to comb the hair around his hips, but it only made him hiss from the pain. He tried several times before he finally gave up and threw the brush on the floor. The handle broke off and clattered against the wall.

"Do you really hate your last name that much?" I joked to ease the tension.

Dean stared at me a moment as if he were trying to decide whether I was really being funny or not. I walked up to him and put my arms around his neck. He slowly backed me up and lowered me down onto his bed. I wrapped my ankles over his hips and he kissed me deeply. When he broke away, I mentioned, "I think I might just start calling you Mr. Ambrose. It sounds very classy."

"It sounds stupid," he retorted.

"Would you bring the sex to me, Mr. Ambrose?" I asked in a high-pitched voice.

Dean clenched his jaw and tried not to smile. I used the same voice to ask, "I would like the sex as efficient as possible! I don't want to miss my break of the fast!"

He finally snorted and looked away. Dean shook his head and said, "Why do you get funnier whenever Seth is around?"

"He's the real comedian. I just steal his jokes and tweak them a little bit so it sounds original," I replied dryly.

Dean went back to kissing me. I could feel the smile on his lips and it made me happy.

:-:

I made out with Dean for a while until it was time for breakfast. We decided to wait on the love making for a more private moment since we didn't know when Seth and Bayley would come back up to the room. They were waiting for us, downstairs. I felt some disappointment that Dean and I could have done more if we had known Seth and Bayley weren't coming back upstairs. All of these missed opportunities and interruptions were beginning to really add up.

Dean must've been thinking the same thing, because he put his arm around my waist to pull me close to him so he could whisper in my ear, "We'll find the time."

I nodded, but I didn't feel like that was very likely.

We went into the dining room, which was packed with carnies. It felt like there were more of them in the last couple of days, because seating was becoming a real issue. I glanced around and I noticed that Miz wasn't at his usual spot. A large carny with red hair and a long red beard was now filling the seat. I glanced back at Seth and Bayley. Seth was watching the carnies with widened eyes, while Bayley had glued herself to Seth to try and stay as small as possible and avoid flying food debris.

I started to reconsider letting them stay at a hotel. The dining experience would be much less stressful. I turned my head to ask Dean to find a place for Seth and Bayley, first. An apple came flying at my face and I didn't have enough time to duck out of the way.

It smashed into my upper lip and bounced back. I grabbed my mouth and watched the apple get caught by a child carny crouching near the floor. She looked up at me like I was going to yell at her for taking the apple. I nodded that she could have it and waved her away. She crawled under the table and out of sight.

My lip felt kind of wet and numb. I thought it was juice from the apple, but when I took my hand away, I could see blood. I instinctively licked my teeth. They were thankfully still intact.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Dean roared.

The circus of food delivery stopped suddenly. Dean came over to me and took my hand away from my mouth to check my lip. I shook my head and I tried to say, "It's not a big deal," but it sounded more like, "I's no' a bug real."

Some more blood mixed with saliva spilled out of my mouth. I didn't have much control of it since my lip was kind of numb. I tried to cover my mouth again as my cheeks blushed crimson. Dead turned around to face the others and yelled, "Who threw that fucking apple?!"

No one dared to admit it. I personally had no idea. Dean pointed an angry finger at everyone as he stated, "You tell me who fucking did it, or I'll fucking poison the whole fucking food supply!"

Many eyes began to look in one direction. Soon, all of the carnies I could see were looking at one in particular. He was a very tall man with a shaved head and tattoos of skulls covering both of his arms. He was wearing a faded green t-shirt instead of the coveralls that most carnies wore. He looked almost snake-like as his gray eyes narrowed and he watched Dean in a way that I'd never seen anyone do, before.

"It was an accident, obviously," the man stated in a voice two octaves deeper and more thickly Southern than I expected.

The man shrugged his shoulders and reached for another apple that had been left on the table. Before the man could take a bite, Dean turned to me and said, "We're leaving."

A low chuckle left the man's lips as he criticized Dean, "What, you gonna go cry, now? Your little girlfriend with the cut lip isn't even crying!"

Dean clenched his fists and turned around. I thought he was going to run over the table and deck the man. The other carnies were starting to file out of the dining room. Something told me the snake-like man was someone important and therefore someone Dean should not be starting a fist-fight with.

"Dean," I mumbled, taking hold of his wrist so he would turn his attention back to me.

I gave him a pleading look so he would come away with me. I glanced back and saw that Seth and Bayley were still waiting for us. Seth was giving me a look like he wanted to beat up the man for hurting me, too. I knew I had to get us out of the situation before everyone exploded.

Dean took a step forward, but he didn't look away from me. It seemed like a long space of time before he finally took my hand and we walked away from the man. I heard him taunt Dean as we walked back to the stairs, "Good thing you've got someone who can finally shut down that lunatic inside of you, Fringe!"

"What is he saying?" Bayley asked Seth as they followed after us.

"I have no idea, but that guy is a super-ultra-dick," Seth replied.

I glanced up at Dean. His expression was stoic.

Whoever this guy was, he was making it a point to get under Dean's skin.


	32. Chapter 32

32:

"Who the hell was that guy, and why didn't you dig his eyes out with your thumb?!" Seth argued with Dean as soon as we were safely back in our room.

Bayley took my hand and led me to the bathroom to check my lip. She closed the door, but I could still hear the boys fighting.

"His name is Randy Orton. He only comes around when Trumbly needs someone to manage the place while he's gone," Dean explained.

"That asshole is a manager?!" Seth shrieked.

Bayley cringed at the sound of Seth's voice and she accidentally tugged on my lip. I shouted, "Ouch!" and covered my mouth.

Dean was in the bathroom like a shot. Bayley quickly explained, "I think she's okay! No broken or missing teeth!"

Seth came to stand in the doorway while Dean pushed my hand away and checked my lip. Instead of touching it, he turned his head and inspected it closely with his eyes. I suddenly felt very self-conscious and I tried to cover my mouth, again. He swatted my hand away with more force than usual as he stated, "I need to see if your lip is torn, Liz."

I knew that it was bleeding some, but I felt like it was coming from the inside of my lip. I instinctively licked the blood away from my upper lip, and Dean blinked and made an unusual expression.

My actions were unintentionally causing arousal.

Seth was still yelling from the doorway, but I didn't even realize it until Dean turned around and shouted at him, "Shut the fuck up!"

He stopped short and stared at Dean. Bayley took my hand and led me to the sink, saying, "I think you should wash your face, Liz."

"Oh. Right," I said, still distracted by Dean.

Bayley turned the water on and I leaned down to splash some water on my face. I heard Seth argue from behind me, "You're a dick! You're all a bunch of dicks! I hate this place!"

"Seth!" Bayley turned away from me to scold him.

"If you think that way, then why the fuck are you here?!" Dean countered.

Seth scoffed like it should be obvious and stated, "I'm here for Liz! I'm here for _my_ baby! Let's not forget that you were asked to keep an eye on her and our child, and so far you've done a shit job!"

"What's that mean?" a male voice said from somewhere in the bedroom.

I stood up straight and turned to the doorway. Seth was blocking the view to the bedroom. He swallowed hard and slowly turned around. Seth said in a sheepish voice, "Oh, hey, Kevin."

Dean's brother replied in an unusually dark tone, "Hey, there, Sethington."

"It's actually just Seth-" he started, but Kevin grabbed him by his neck and pulled him into the bedroom.

Bayley gasped in surprise. Dean rushed out to the bedroom and I rushed after him, shouting at the room, "Stop it!"

Kevin had Seth in a headlock and he didn't look like he was going to let go anytime, soon. Dean clenched his fists and growled, "Let him up, Kev."

"Why? He just insulted our house! Our people! Our culture! Our way of life!" Kevin argued.

"He was mad at me. He didn't mean anything by it," Dean replied.

"What's he mad at you for? Fucking his first time?" Kevin nodded at me with his chin.

Kevin leaned down so Seth could hear him, better. The pressure around Seth's neck increased and his face started to turn red as Kevin told him, "You should be honored. You got to that piece of ass before my brother. Now, he'll always be known for having your sloppy seconds."

Seth was about to pass out. Kevin started laughing. Dean took a couple of steps forward and launched his fist into Kevin's temple.

Dean didn't throw the punch all the way through. It looked like his fist locked with Kevin's temple and stopped, but there was a loud cracking sound and Kevin immediately let go of Seth. Kevin fell to his knees and slumped over on the floor. Seth fell to the floor across from Kevin and coughed as he tried to get some air.

"Oh, my goodness!" Bayley rushed to Seth's side.

Dean stood up straight and let his head hang back. He closed his eyes and his expression was stoic. I couldn't tell whether he was relieved Kevin had stopped talking, or he knew hitting Kevin would come back to bite him.


	33. Chapter 33

33:

Seth managed to get to his feet. He was still a little red in the face as he told us, "We're going for a walk," and he led Bayley out of the room.

Dean was still standing there with his eyes closed. Kevin was out cold. I came over to Dean and said, "Let's go for a walk, too."

He was stressed. Really stressed. I knew that he needed a break. Dean slowly opened his eyes and turned to face me. His expression was confusing to me. He was halfway between screaming with rage and falling to his knees with desperation.

"Let's go," I reached out to take his hand.

He let me lead him along. We went outside and I took him across the yard to Sheamus' shed.

"I think I need some advice from your friend," I said to Dean.

He was a little reluctant, but I pulled him back and we went up to the door of the shed. I knocked and asked, "Sheamus? Sami? Are you in there?"

Sami opened the door and said, "Come on in!"

He seemed happy to see us. Sami engulfed me in a tight hug once we were inside. Sheamus was lying in bed with his shirt off and his coveralls hanging low around his hips. His lower legs were hanging off the end of the bed and he had his arm over his eyes like he was trying to avoid the sunlight peeking in from between the wooden slabs of the shed.

Dean kicked the door closed and Sheamus sat up with a start. Sami jumped and let go of me. Both Sami and I watched as Dean folded his arms and went over to a wooden chair by Sheamus' bed. Dean sat down in it so gruffly that the legs creaked under his strength. He stared straight ahead and refused to say a word.

Sheamus stared at Dean with a knowing expression. Sami was more confused as he looked at me and whispered, "What's going on?"

I shook my head and replied, "He's in a really, really bad mood."

"Because of Randy?" Sami asked.

I answered him, "I think it's more than that."

Sami nodded his head, but I wasn't sure that he really understood. I didn't even know if I completely understood. Dean had his moments, and I had been a witness to most of them, but this was something that looked like it had been building over time. He seemed ready to explode at any moment, but I wasn't sure what would come out when he did. Rage? Tears? Uncontrollable laughter?

Sheamus turned to Sami and said, "I need ya ta go in the hause."

He didn't object, but asked kindly, "Do you need me to come back real soon?"

Sheamus slowly shook his head. I could sense that he was communicating something much deeper without using words. It was almost like Sheamus was asking some kind of permission, and Sami was giving him the approval he needed.

"Stay in a while," Sheamus answered.

With a nod of his head, Sami turned and gave me one more hug before he left. Just as Sami was reaching for the door, Sheamus told him, "I luv ya, Sami."

"I love you, more," Sami remarked over his shoulder.

Sami closed the door and left the three of us, alone. I still wasn't sure exactly what was going on. Sheamus stood up slowly and wandered over to me. He pointed to my lip and asked, "What happened to ya?"

Dean turned to face us, but he still had his arms folded firmly in front of him. I answered Sheamus, "We were at breakfast and Randy threw an apple that hit me in the face. He said it was an accident."

"Ya t'ink it was?" Sheamus gazed at me more intently.

"I don't know. I mean, I'd say it was weird throwing apples in the first place, but with the way this place is, maybe flying fruit is a sign of respect," I shrugged.

Sheamus chuckled a little. I glanced over at Dean, but he wasn't even cracking a smile. He was staring at us very intently, though.

"Can I kiss it all butter?" Sheamus asked in his sweetest of Irish tones.

I could feel my cheeks growing hot. My whole body started to tremble. I was slowly catching on to what Sheamus was trying to do. I glanced at Dean, again. He looked extremely interested in learning what my answer would be.

I looked back at Sheamus. He cocked his head to one side and gave me a charming smile. I could see from his eyes that he was handing me control in the situation. If I were uncomfortable; if I were to turn him down, the moment would be over.

"Okay..." I nodded my head.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen, next. Sheamus took a step forward. He was inches from my lips, now. He placed his hands gently on my hips. His red hair looked a thousand times brighter in the strips of sunlight coming in and he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

He used soft pressure, but my lip was a little swollen and it hurt. I gasped and jumped to break away from the kiss. I said, "Ouch," before covering my lips with my hand.

Sheamus made a sympathetic face as he remarked, "Surry, luv."

He took my hand away from my face and put his left hand on my cheek while he inspected my lip with his right fingertips. He was gentle as could be, but I winced out of reflex. He moved his fingertips away from my lip and brushed my other cheek as he asked me, "Cawd I kiss ya somewhere else?"

Sheamus was giving me control, again. I could've said anything, but I was so nervous that I just blurted, "Where?"

He frowned like he wasn't sure I was understanding what we were doing. I nodded that I did and added quickly, "I mean, how about on my forehead?"

It was kind of dumb, but Sheamus didn't seem to care. He leaned down and kissed my forehead just as sensually as he would've kissed my lips if they weren't so tender. When he pulled away, I asked, "Could I kiss _you_ , somewhere?"

His eyes widened a little with surprise. Sheamus nodded and I reached out to place my hands on his chest. His muscles rippled from my touch. I had to come up on my tip-toes to press my lips to his left shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me as I accidentally fell into him. I put my arms around him as I pulled away from his shoulder and said, "Ouch."

I was really close to him, now. Sheamus smelled like wood and soap. He leaned into my ear and whispered, "I gotta do mawr fur Dean-O. Don't be afraid, luv."

Sheamus pulled away from me just as Dean came from behind him and took hold of me. Dean's eyes were wild with arousal, but he didn't have an erection. Sheamus came between us and punched Dean right in the crotch.

Dean cried out and hit the floor. I screamed myself a little bit from the shock. Sheamus lifted me up by my waist and carried me over to one of the open stalls. He rushed to put down a blanket over the mound of hay that lined the floor of the stall, then he guided me down onto the blanket.

"I don't know if I like this," I confessed.

" _He_ likes it," Sheamus stated.

I nodded that I understood. This was a role-play for Dean's benefit. He had been catering to me every time, and I wanted to give him something in return.

"Do _you_ like this?" I asked Sheamus.

His eyes grew somber as he replied, "Ya are a peach."

I could see something in his gaze. He found me attractive, and his erection was telling me he could easily keep this going, but his loyalty was to Dean, and Sheamus seemed content with playing a secondary role.

Dean rushed into the stall and kicked Sheamus in the stomach. Sheamus rolled over and came to rest against the wall of the stall. Dean replaced Sheamus above me and he pinned my arms down against the blanket. I could feel Dean's hairy body in its entirety, which told me he had taken his clothes off before coming to find me.

He stared me down with a look I hadn't seen since he rescued me from Stephanie's caravan. Dean was breathing so hard that he was shaking. I wasn't sure whether to be thrilled or concerned.

Dean leaned in and almost touched my lips, but he stopped short when he remembered they were sore. He went down to kiss my neck, instead. I took the moment to look at Sheamus and make sure he was alright. He was holding his stomach and he looked slightly in pain, but he nodded to me that he was okay. I whispered to him, "Do you want to leave?"

Dean sat up and pointed an angry finger at Sheamus as he yelled, "Don't you fucking move!"

Sheamus stayed where he was. Dean reached under my dress to take off my underwear. He tossed them aside and went down to taste between my legs with his mouth.

The stimulation was intense. I couldn't hide it. I felt nervous with Sheamus being there. I tried to hide my face with my hands.

I felt Sheamus move closer to me. He moved my hands away from my face. He was lying on his stomach and ran his fingers through my hair as if to comfort me.

Dean did something with his tongue that made a ripple of pleasure go up through my spine. I closed my eyes and let out a loud moan. Sheamus took my hand and kissed the inside of my palm.

I felt Dean coming back up to me. I opened my eyes and looked into his.

"Floor's hard. Ya should put her on top," Sheamus told Dean.

Dean reached down and put himself inside of me, then he took hold of me and rolled us both over so that I was above him. It did help my back to be able to sit up. Dean put his hands on my hips and guided me while I closed my eyes and took in the different position.

I tried to stay in the moment, but there were other things going on in my mind. I was worried about Seth and Bayley. They didn't seem to like it, here. They were for sure going to ask to stay in a hotel. I was curious about Randy and why he was able to get to Dean. I wondered if Trumbly had found anything out about my mother. I was worried about what Kevin would do once he was conscious, again. I still hadn't signed up for school. A random thought crept into my mind about how Bo was probably telling everyone that I left him at the school instead of signing up and he didn't know why. He likely didn't mention that it was because he was being a total jerk...

Dean groaned with release. He was already done.

I opened my eyes and looked down at him with a sense of surprise. He asked me thickly, "You need more time?"

I thought we would have to wait for Dean to get hard, again. We had already taken up a lot of Sheamus' time. I shook my head and said, "It's okay, I'm fine."

Dean rubbed his hand against the blanket. He was careful to rub both front and back. He rolled me back over so that he was on top once more as he reached down and inserted his index finger.

I gasped with surprise and grabbed onto the back of Dean's neck. He chuckled and asked dryly, "Didn't Seth ever finger you?"

He made it sound like it was a rather common thing and the question was more of a joke. I blushed and shook my head. I had never even heard of such a thing.

I glanced at Sheamus. He looked confused.

"Don't look at him, look at me," Dean said, then he added more gruffly, "What the fuck _did_ Seth do to you?"

"I already told you, we made out a few times and had sex the one time," I reminded him.

Dean seemed more agitated than satisfied with my answer. He took his finger out of me and stated, "That idiot doesn't know a damn thing."

He got up and went back for his clothes. I looked at Sheamus for answers. He sat up and argued, "Oi! Dean-O!"

Dean ignored him and put on his jeans and t-shirt. Dean walked out of the shed and slammed the door.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked Sheamus.

"It's all him, luv. All him," Sheamus shook his head.


	34. Chapter 34

34:

I stayed with Sheamus for a while. He got up to feed Merlin and I followed along behind him. We went to a second shed where he let me feed some chickens and two giraffes named Morton and Eegon. Sheamus also had me put food on the ground outside for some local squirrels and birds that lived in the trees nearby.

He was quiet except to direct me where to hold out or scatter the food. I was glad for that. I didn't really want to talk much. Sami came around at some point and brought us sandwiches for lunch. We ate under one of the trees.

Sheamus went back to feeding and caring for the animals. I wanted to follow him some more, but he said some of the animals were not friendly and I had to stay outside. I walked with Sami and he told me some of the funny stories about his time at the house. I learned that he had lived with my uncle for almost eight years.

I expected Dean or Seth and Bayley to come looking for me, but none of them did. I was almost sure that Seth and Bayley had left to find a hotel in town. Sami and I found a shady tree and he told me some more funny stories. Sheamus came back when the sun was setting and he told us it was time for supper.

We went back in the house. I still didn't see Dean, Seth or Bayley anywhere. I ate with Sami and Sheamus. Miz was still missing from his usual spot at the table. Randy Orton was also missing from dinner.

After we ate, Sheamus offered, "Ya can stay wit' us if ya like."

"I'll just go upstairs to my room," I smiled and thanked them for keeping me company.

I turned around and saw Bray coming down the stairs. He looked sort of disheveled and in a rush. He looked up and told me as he passed, "I'll see you at Kane's funeral, tomorrow."

I hadn't realized it would be so soon. I opened my mouth to ask what time, but Bray was gone before I could.

"It'll be early. Probably around 6," Sami informed me.

"Will you be there?" I asked him.

Sami shrugged and replied, "I think most everyone will be there."

"Okay," I nodded.

Sami hugged me good-bye and left. Sheamus leaned into my ear and whispered, "Don't you worry, luv. Dean'll come to his sunses."

"I appreciate you trying to help," I told him.

"Yer good fur him. He don't need much help t'ese days," Sheamus replied.

I was surprised by that. It seemed like Sheamus had to do a lot, in my opinion. Sheamus gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and added quietly, "Ya tell me if Randal buthers ya."

"You mean Mr. Orton?" I asked.

He nodded. His expression was more stern compared to his usually laid back demeanor. I knew that Randy must really be a force to deal with if Sheamus was put off by him.

"Bastard has a hand over Dean-O, but he don't have a hand over me," Sheamus added.

I wanted to ask exactly what he had over Dean, but Sheamus didn't seem willing to explain, so I thought the better of it and just nodded that I understood.

Sheamus gave my hand one more quick squeeze and went on his way. I started up the stairs, my legs feeling like jelly after so much walking.

I passed Charlotte and Kevin in the hallway. Kevin had Charlotte wedged in a closed doorway and I swore their sucking got louder as I walked by. Charlotte started moaning and I walked faster to get away.

I turned the corner and almost ran into Miz.

He took my arms to stop me from falling backwards. I looked up at him, and I was surprised by how tired his face was. I asked him quietly, "How are you?"

"I'll be better once this is all over," he replied.

I wasn't sure what that meant. Miz added softly, "Randy is a different kind of manager, as I'm sure you've noticed."

Randy's name seemed to come up in conversation wherever I went. He seemed to be able to ruffle the feathers of even the most calm and content members of the troupe. I was beginning to wonder why Uncle Trumbly would ever trust a man like that.

"Please, be on your way," Miz stepped aside so that I could pass.

He seemed eager to get going, so I let him be. Charlotte could still be heard moaning loudly in the hallway, which echoed all the way up to my room.

I opened the door and peeked inside. No Seth. No Bayley. No Dean.

There was a note on my bed. I already knew what it would say before I read it.

 _Went to a hotel. There are too many monkeys on this caravan (carnival reference super intended)._

 _-With Love and Only a Little Disgust,_

 _Master Seth_

I put the letter on the end table and sat down in my bed. I felt like crying. I shouldn't have asked Seth to come here and see me in the first place. Not only was he even more out of place than the last time, but Bayley had also been given her fill of Carny chaos.

I laid back so I could stare at the ceiling. The dark blue paint that covered the entire room was looking more like a teal with weird blue lines in it. The sun was going down and the light was reflecting against the paint. I began to wonder if Dean had painted the room or if it was already that way when he moved in. The paint looked old and it made the room look so dark. I thought that there should be more color. This was a carnival house, after all.

When I sat up and looked around, I couldn't see any signs of much color besides my Trumbly and Reinhearst poster. I went to the closet to search around for some fabric or anything that I could use to spice the place up. The floor of the closet had some old clothes and dust bunnies that were huge because of Dean's full body hair always leaving strands behind.

I decided to clean out the closet a little bit. I started with some of the old clothes on the floor. I checked their sizes and compared them to what Dean was recently wearing on the hangers. Most of the clothes on the floor were too small and worn out. I shook them outside of the window to dust them off, then I folded them and placed them in a neat pile on the vanity.

Next, I went through Dean's clothes that were hung up. Most of them were coveralls. He had a few tank top shirts that were full of stains. I took out whatever I thought he wouldn't want and I put them next to the other clothes on the vanity.

I didn't know where any cleaning supplies were, but the wooden floor sure needed to be swept. I found an old broom with a wooden handle in the closet. I checked under the bathroom sink. There was some cleaning spray and a few old hand towels. I used them to clean the bathroom, then I sprayed one of the towels, dropped it on the floor and stepped on it. I shuffled it along until I had gotten the room all cleaned up. Most of the mess was Dean's hair.

When I was finished with the visible part of the floor, I decided to check under our beds. I put another towel on the floor and used the broom to get under the beds. I was surprised when something came out from under Dean's bed.

I picked it up and looked it over more closely. It was my carousel.

I had completely forgotten about it. A gift from my father, who broke it when he slammed the door too hard while he was taking Abbey and leaving me behind.

The carousel looked like it had been glued back together. Dean must've fixed it and he was saving it to give back to me at some point. I went to set the carousel down on the bedside table. I started to cry as I thought of Abbey and I wanted to know if Uncle Trumbly had saved her from my father.

I sat back down on my bed. I laid down on my side and curled up so I could still see the carousel. I think I was still crying when I fell asleep.

:-:

"You ready?" I heard a voice call to me.

I opened my eyes and saw Kevin staring down at me. I shrieked and sat up in bed.

Charlotte was brushing her hair by the vanity. It was barely dawn judging from the low light in the room. I became confused, asking, "Ready for what?"

"Ha! She heard me in her sleep!" Kevin pointed at me while he told Charlotte.

Charlotte's eyes rolled in the reflection from the vanity mirror. Kevin looked back at me and said, "I've been talking to you, but your responses didn't make any sense."

"Quit fucking around with her, Kev! She doesn't know what you're talking about," Charlotte rolled her eyes, again.

"What's going on?" I asked.

Kevin reached out to take my hand and answered, "Kane's funeral. It's kind of a long walk so we should get going."

"Where's Dean?" I checked his bed but found it empty.

"He's sulking somewhere," Kevin replied like it wasn't important.

Charlotte turned to face him and argued, "Let her get dressed, you perv!"

I looked down, thinking maybe I was exposed or something. I was still in my dress from the day, before and not showing too much skin. Kevin gave me a crooked smile that let me know he was picturing me naked, anyway.

"You're a fucking animal," Charlotte grumbled at Kevin.

I went past him to get to the closet. Charlotte pointed at the pile of dirty towels on the floor beside the vanity as she asked, "Did you clean up in here?"

"A little bit," I answered.

Kevin started laughing. I wasn't sure why until he said, "Charlotte would never do that for me!"

"That's because you're a disgusting pig!" she shot back.

I was surprised by how angry Charlotte seemed. In the space of a minute, Kevin had managed to be a pervert, an animal and a pig. She had also told him to stop messing with me, which was an odd thing for Charlotte to do.

Kevin made oinking sounds while I went to the bathroom and closed the door. I got ready as quickly as I could and stepped back out to find only Charlotte waiting for me.

"Let's go!" she took my hand and pulled me along.

Kevin was waiting for us as the bottom of the ramp. He seemed less inclined to joke as we made our way down to the first floor and over to the dining room. Charlotte let me go long enough to bang on the door to the kitchen as she shouted through it, "I want some finger food, now!"

"Huh-huh...finger food," Kevin chuckled to himself from behind me.

"You're such a child!" Charlotte argued over her shoulder.

Kevin was quiet once more and the door to the kitchen opened just enough for a plate of sandwiches and fruit to be passed through. Charlotte held it out to me and said, "Eat!"

I grabbed some and put it in my mouth. Charlotte slammed the plate down at the table and went back to the kitchen door to yell through it, "Milk!"

The door opened a short time later and she was given a small jug which she drank from before handing it to me. I drank a little bit and handed it to Kevin. He chugged the rest.

I was surprised by the lack of other Carnies around. I thought there would be a group who were also headed to the funeral.

"Let's go!" Charlotte rushed me to my feet and took my hand once more.

I hadn't finished chewing and I tried my best to quickly swallow what food I had left in my mouth. Kevin inhaled what was left on the plate and noisily smacked his lips while Charlotte led me outside.

Paige was just coming from around the side of the house. She pointed at Charlotte and mentioned, "You shant pull her like that. She could go tumbling."

Charlotte huffed and let me go. She stormed off and Kevin followed after her. I looked at Paige and asked, "Do you know where Kane's funeral is?"

"I'll escort you," she put her arm out and I took it with both hands.

Paige was much easier to walk with. She smiled at me and pointed at one corner of her mouth, saying, "You have a little something."

I reached up to get it, but she wiped it away with her thumb and stuck whatever it was in her own mouth. She let out a light moan and took her thumb out, saying, "I do love Mayo."

"Charlotte wanted me to eat quickly," I mentioned.

"Don't worry about her. Cunt is in her flowers," Paige told me.

She used the C-word like it wasn't that remarkable. I checked to make sure Charlotte didn't overhear us. She was still storming away.

"She'll tire herself out at that pace," Paige mentioned.

"Is it a long walk?" I asked.

"Not so long," Paige answered.

"What does it mean when you're in the flowers?" I asked.

"Menzies," Paige replied.

"Oh," I said.

Charlotte stopped to fight with Kevin and we passed them by. We were walking out to a part of the land that I hadn't been to, before. Someone had come along and mowed because the grass wasn't so high. Paige squeezed my hands around her arm and said, "You seem lost."

"I haven't seen Dean since yesterday. He was upset about something. I hope he's okay," I confided in her.

Paige smiled brightly and replied, "Men are always upset about something, love. They go in their cave and brood about it for a spell, and then they're back as if nothing has happened at all."

I nodded and Paige must've seen the sadness on my face. She added more softly, "Let him be wild a bit. He'll come back."

Charlotte nearly ran into us trying to get ahead, again. Kevin came around us and called out, "Charlotte! Quit being a bitch!"

She flipped him off and carried on.

Paige and I followed Charlotte for a little longer. Just as Paige had predicted, Charlotte ran out of steam and ended up walking behind us. Charlotte kept stopping to lean forward as she grabbed below her belly button. She was obviously in pain. Kevin kept asking her, "Do you want me to carry you?"

"Fuck off!" was her answer every time.

She caught me looking one of the times and argued, "You're lucky you don't have to fucking deal with this right now, but just you wait! You'll be back to it once you pop out your little screaming Satan!"

"There's no need to call him Satan. He might be a Michael or a Gabriel," Paige said.

Charlotte screamed at her, but Paige didn't seem to care.

We finally came up on a large Willow tree near the river. It was a beautiful place. There was a large group of Carnies waiting for us. I saw Sami and Sheamus. I waved at them. Miz, Tamina, Matt and Jeff and Bobby Roode were also there, but I saw no sign of Dean.

Bray was waiting under the tree. I saw a hole in the ground next to him, probably where Kane's remains had been placed. The hole was not covered and I swallowed hard.

Charlotte and Kevin went to the front of the group. Paige also led me to the front and stood me beside Kevin. Bray nodded when he saw me and he told the group, "I think everybody's here."

"Thanks for being here. My brother would appreciate it," Bray began.

His eyes were bloodshot and he was pacing some while he spoke, "My brother would want to be buried with the woman we called Momma, so here we are."

I glanced back at the hole in the ground. It had a stone behind it with the name KANE engraved in solid letters. There was a second grave beside it that was not marked. I assumed that was Stephanie's.

When I looked to my left, I saw Randy Orton on the far side of the group. He was watching Bray, but he must've felt me looking at him, because he suddenly turned his gaze on me. His eyes were kind of mysterious and penetrating. I felt uncomfortable and turned back to face Bray.

Bray pulled a piece of paper out of the front pocket of his coveralls. He explained while he opened it, "So, I know my brother would be happy you all came. He was always worried about stupid shit like that no one would come to his funeral, so it's good ya'all are here."

He finished opening the paper and shouted, "Elizabeth!"

"Ye-es?" my voice sounded more weird than I intended it to be.

Bray waved me over to him. Paige let go of me and I walked over to Bray. I tried to keep my gaze away from the hole. I knew I would start crying if I looked inside.

"My brother wrote a note for you. He wanted me to give it to you and I forgot because I'm a dick," Bray handed me the piece of paper.

I looked it over. Bray said to me, "I think you should read it so the rest of us can hear. I think what's on it will clear the air."

I felt so nervous that I started to shake. I didn't want to talk in front of a bunch of people. I looked up and spotted Dean in the back. He must've come up just after I arrived. His eyes were somber as he nodded like he knew I could do it. I cleared my throat and started to read aloud, "Dear Liz, I really liked it when you came to my house. I did not know you were _sacred_."

"He means scared," Bray corrected me when I glanced up at him.

I nodded and looked back at the letter to read on, "I'm sorry you were scared. I hope you will not be scared of me any-more. I know I am ugly."

My eyes filled with tears and I had to stop for a moment. Bray was leaning from side to side next to me, rocking himself. I could feel his energy. He wanted to be done with this as soon as possible.

I tried to read on, "I want you to come back to my house. I will paint your nails. Please don't be scared. Please tell Dean I'm sorry and tell him not to be mad. He can come with you."

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I finished with, "Love, Kane."

Bray leaned down and picked up a handful of dirt from next to the grave. He took my right hand and put the dirt in it. He instructed me, "Throw that in his grave, and we'll call it even. No bad blood between Chapfields and Rheinhearsts. This feud is over."

I started to sprinkle the dirt in the hole. I tried to keep my gaze on the dirt instead of the grave, but I could see a white quilt wrapping up Kane's remains out of the corners of my eyes.

"This feud ain't over! She's the death of your family!" someone shouted from the group.

There were mixed reactions. Shouts of support and boos of disapproval. Bray pointed at the crowd and argued, "Did you not hear? My brother loved Liz and wanted her to come on back to see him! He would never say that except to those he thought of as kin!"

"She's not family! She's not one of us!" someone else shouted.

There were more mixed reactions. I didn't know what to do. I looked at Dean in the crowd. He was trying to come around to get between them and me.

I was still watching Dean when Bray grabbed me around the middle and turned me away. I didn't know what he was doing until I heard the thud of a rock hitting him in the back.

More rocks came tumbling our way. They impacted Bray because he was much bigger than me. A fight broke out within the group. I heard Charlotte scream, "Oh, my God!"

I felt Dean grab onto me. He pulled me up against him and turned me away from the group so I wouldn't get hit with anything else. I buried my face against his chest and I didn't dare look up.

"ENOUGH!"

The roar of a voice stopped much of the noise. Dean loosened his grip on me so I could peek out and see who called the fight to an end. It was Randy Orton.

"That's enough! We're at a fucking funeral, for God's sake!" he shouted.

Some members of the group picked themselves up off the ground. A few stepped back from the others until there were two very separate groups. Randy pointed at the grave and ordered, "You say your piece, and you head back to the house! Anyone throws another rock at Trumbly's _pregnant_ niece, and you'll be answering to me!"

Randy sounded very valiant as he said it, but something told me he wasn't necessarily defending me so much as trying to make himself look more in control of the situation.

There was a long space of silence before Bray picked up another handful of dirt and handed it to me. He said quietly, "Finish what you started."

I sprinkled the dirt over Kane's remains. This time, I stared right at the white quilt. The hole was small, which made me think that not all of his body was found.

My stomach churned at the revelation. Dean kept one hand in mine while he used his other hand to gather a handful of dirt and pay his own respects. When he was done, he walked away from the crowd and I followed after him.

"Am I tearing your family apart?" I asked Dean when we were a safe distance away.

"No," he answered firmly.


	35. Chapter 35

35:

Dean led me to Trumbly's office. He let go of me to pick up the phone and I took a seat nearby. Dean punched in some numbers and the phone rang a couple of times before someone picked up and asked, "Hello?"

"How's the search going?" Dean asked.

I knew it was Uncle Trumbly on the other end when he answered, "It's overcast, Dean. How am I supposed to do anything when it might rain?"

"Did you find Mrs. Chapfield?" Dean tried to keep Uncle Trumbly on point.

After a long sigh, Uncle Trumbly replied, "I thought we had her. We were so close."

Dean glanced at me. I stayed silent as Trumbly continued, "We checked the house, first. Hefram had packed some things and taken off. He's been using his real name to check into hotel rooms. He thinks because she's his wife that it's not considered kidnapping...that stupid, cold bastard-"

"Is she still in your sight?" Dean interrupted to get Trumbly back on track.

Uncle Trumbly cleared his throat and answered softly, "We're keeping tabs. Abbey is being treated well, as far as we can see. No signs of abuse, unless he didn't hit her on the face and arms..."

I swallowed hard. Dean cut him off once more by asking, "How much longer do you think it will be?"

"A week, maybe. It's really about finding the right time. Hefram's always with her. I'm concerned that Abbey's bond with him is too strong. She may decided in the end not to come back with us. I regret not bringing Elizabeth. She is the only one who might bring Abbey out of this nightmare."

Tears filled my eyes. Dean sighed and asked quietly, "Do you want me to bring her?"

"Not now; not yet. I need more time," Trumbly answered.

Dean grunted that he understood. Uncle Trumbly changed the subject by asking, "How is Randy getting along?"

"He's an asshole, as usual," Dean was blunt as ever.

Uncle Trumbly let out a short chuckle. It was clear that he knew what Randy was like. I was still wondering why Uncle Trumbly didn't pick Dean to lead when Trumbly said over the phone, "I know he's a struggle, but everyone's taking sides after Kane, and Randy's the only neutral in our family."

I assumed _neutral_ meant that Randy wasn't a Reinhearst or a Chapfield. I began to think that Carnies were such hypocrites. They criticized me for not being one of them when Randy didn't seem to be one, either.

"He enrages people. He enrages me," Dean argued.

Uncle Trumbly sounded more irritated as he replied, "Now, Dean, you have got to let the past stay behind you! Randy is not going to lock you in a cage, again!"

I gasped and tried to cover my mouth to muffle the sound. Uncle Trumbly asked more quietly, "Are you alone?"

"Yes," Dean replied, adding gruffly, "I'm not bitter about how Randy treats me. I've had plenty of people think of me as something other than human because I don't resemble what they think a man should look like. Liz is with me, this time. He sees that, and he doesn't like it. I don't want him targeting her because of her ties to me."

"He wouldn't do that!" Uncle Trumbly stated firmly.

"If Sheamus wasn't so fucking good at his job and found my ass, I would've died from the heat being stuck in that fucking cage!" Dean yelled.

Uncle Trumbly was quiet for a few seconds, then he said calmly, "There is nothing I can do from here. I know you will protect Liz. If Randy targets her, you ask Sheamus to take over and send Randy packing."

Dean was quiet, so Trumbly asked, "Randy still listens to Sheamus, yes?"

"Only because Sheamus is the best sex he's ever had," Dean grumbled.

Uncle Trumbly cleared his throat and replied, "Painting that picture was not necessary!"

Dean glanced at me. I could tell that what he said was meant for me more than Trumbly. He wanted me to know why Sheamus had leverage over Randy. I remembered the night that Kevin came to our room drunk. He said something about Sheamus being some kind of a sex god. At the time, I thought it was just Kevin spouting off because Sheamus didn't have much of a reaction. Now, I was starting to believe that there was some truth to the hype.

"I'll keep in touch with you. Remember, Randy is only temporary," Uncle Trumbly said.

Dean grunted and hung up the phone. He looked at me and asked, "What are you thinking about?"

I opened my mouth to say it, but I started to feel stupid and I closed back up.

"You want to ask me something," Dean said.

My cheeks flushed as I nodded. Dean stared at my cheeks as he replied, "I can tell when you have a sex question because you look so damn terrified."

"Um..." I tried to speak just to get some of my emotions out, but I still felt overwhelmed.

Dean took a step closer to me and I looked up at him. He rested his palms on the arm of the chair and leaned in so he was even closer. He searched my eyes as he asked, "You want to know if I've ever fucked around with Sheamus."

I slowly nodded, feeling guilty for even asking. From what I knew about the straight guys I went to school with, even the mere mention of them being with another man was grounds for getting punched in the face. The only history I knew about Dean was with women, so I considered him to be a straight guy, but I also remembered that he didn't mind Sheamus and Sami having sex in our bathroom.

Dean pressed his lips to mine and kissed me softly. When he broke away, he replied just as tenderly, "He is my best friend. He knows about my sexual quirks because I've told him about it. He has helped me to understand my needs and he is trying to teach me how to communicate those needs to you."

He stood up straight and reached out to take my hand. I gave it to him and he led me off the chair. Dean concluded with, "Sheamus hasn't fucked me, and I've never fucked him."

I thought knowing that would put my mind at ease, but it didn't. I asked quietly, "Have you ever...thought about it?"

"It's hard not to because he has a very active sex life," Dean made a cocky half-smile.

I couldn't tell whether he was just teasing me or not. Dean pulled me into him and replied quietly, "I don't have that kind of history with Sheamus."

"Okay," I nodded.

Dean's eyes dove into mine as he asked thickly, "Do _you_ think about it?"

"I want to be with you!" I blurted, then my cheeks flushed once more as I felt pure humiliation.

I thought Dean would laugh out loud, but instead he hugged me against him and mumbled, "I don't deserve you."

:-:

 _I was dreaming about Abbey. I would see her standing a short distance from me with her arms out to give me a hug. Her eyes were sad, but she was smiling like she was so glad to see me. I would try to run towards her, but she would drift further away. There were times when I was so close, but not close enough. I cried out to her, "Momma! Momma!"_

 _Abbey would smile. That sweet, painful smile._

I woke up to a strange sensation.

My face was wet. I reached up to wipe my cheeks. They were splattered with tears.

I noticed that I was sitting up instead of lying down My back was against something hard.

There was a lot of light around. I breathed in and caught the scent of grass. I blinked a few times to register my surroundings.

I was outside, but not completely.

I glanced to my left. I was in one of the old cages on wheels. It had a wooden floor and rusty bars. The door to my left was shut and padlocked from the outside. I had seen Bo cleaning one of these cages when I first met him. I noticed some newer wooden steps placed outside of the cage leading up to the door. Someone must've used them to lead me inside while I was sleepwalking, because I couldn't have padlocked the door by myself.

A low rumble came from my right. I felt the cage rock slightly from side-to-side. I gripped one of the bars on my left to keep myself in place. I was afraid to look to my right and see who was in the cage with me.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. My sundress was wet from sweat. It was really hot and humid. I opened my eyes, again. I could see through the bars to the outside. The house was nowhere to be seen. I didn't recognize my surroundings.

The rocking of the cage stopped. I could hear the familiar sound of loud purring.

"Hi, Leo," I croaked.

I dared to look to my right. Leo the lion was sitting near the middle of the cage. There was nothing to stop him from coming closer to me.

The cage was flat except for a section up front. It was shady in that spot. Leo watched me for several long minutes, then he got up and wandered to the front section and took one quick leap to get up to the shady spot. He sprawled himself out with his tail and one of his back legs hanging off the edge. He continued to watch me with passive interest, as if he were a bored king and I was not a very entertaining jester.

There was a large bowl of water near the front section. It looked reserved for Leo. I didn't see any sign of food or other amenities. I remembered reading at school that lions like to sleep a lot. I also remembered reading that they eat a lot.

I could cry out for help, but Leo probably wouldn't like that.


	36. Chapter 36

36:

It was so hot.

There wasn't much shade on my side of the cage, but I managed to scoot along until I made it to the corner on the other side of where I was. There was more of a breeze on that side and it felt nice on my back.

Leo watched every movement I made. I wondered what he was thinking. His tail would flip up and smack down against the wooden floor of the upper level from time to time. It would kick up a small wave of dust. His paws looked as big as my head.

I tried not to move too much as I scanned my surroundings for signs of where I was. The area didn't look like one that people regularly pass through. The yellow grass was tall, but it had been smashed in some areas where a person had obviously been walking around the cage. I tried to push my face through the bars a little bit, and I could see some tire tracks near the front of the cage, which meant it had been towed to this location. The tracks looked fresh.

It wasn't clear based on the smashed grass around the cage if there was more than one person involved. All the boot prints looked the same to me. I leaned back against the cage bars and wondered how someone could've gotten Leo into the cage. I assumed they must've led him into the cage first, then towed it out to this location. Whoever it was cared enough to give him some water.

But not me.

I couldn't understand how I got out here without waking up. Did someone drug me in my sleep?

There weren't many answers. I kept thinking about the day before, when Dean said that Randy had locked him in a cage. Dean had also mentioned that he was worried for my safety because of my ties to him. Randy had already thrown an apple at my face, but it seemed like a stretch to say he went from tossing fruit to hoping I would be mauled by a wild animal.

I didn't think Uncle Trumbly would put so much trust in a man who was so willing to throw away his niece.

"Did Randy throw me in here?" I asked Leo.

He rolled over on his side and went to sleep.

:-:

I waited for almost an hour to make sure Leo was really sleeping. I tried to stand up because my backside was falling asleep. He stirred but didn't look up at me. I very slowly tip-toed my way over to his bowl of water. It was mostly clean, except for a few bugs that had flown in and drowned. I carefully sat down on the other side of the bowl, so if Leo decided to get up, he would have to go around it to get to me. It wasn't much of an obstacle, but enough that I felt a little safer.

I scooped some water into my hand and took a drink. It was warm and had a metal after-taste. I drank as much as I could because I wasn't sure if Leo would allow me to be so close to his water source for much longer. I used a little bit of water to splash my face and arms. The sun was still rising in the sky and my lower arms were turning pink.

The floor of the cage was made of old planks of wood. There were rusty nails holding them down. I figured that if I needed to pee, I could choose a corner and go for it. I used my fingernails to test the boards for weaknesses. This turned into an activity that kept me from thinking about how hungry I was.

:-:

Leo continued to flop his tail up and down. His paws and ears would twitch from time to time while he slept. He was so disinterested in me that I was beginning to think whoever came up with this plan was not very savvy about how lions worked. I also wondered if the intention may not have been to kill me, but to scare the crap out of me.

I finally found a plank of wood closer to Leo that was loose. It took me a while to get enough of a grip to pull it up. There wasn't enough space for me to climb through with my pregnant belly in the way. I would have to get at least one more plank loose.

The sun was reaching the middle of the sky, and there was a little more shade in the cage. I was working on the second plank when Leo suddenly got up and hopped down from his high place.

I froze.

He wandered over to the water bowl and glanced back at me like he knew I took a drink from it. He turned back and made loud gulps as he drank. He kept his back turned to me, which made me think that there was some level of trust. Maybe he wasn't so ferocious after all.

Leo finished drinking and began coming towards me. My legs were hanging down in the open space where I had removed the first plank. I couldn't get up and run anywhere before he had me tagged. I decided to just sit there and await my fate.

He was almost on top of me when Leo suddenly changed direction and stared down the open space like it was something he only just noticed. He hunched down on his front paws and took a look down. He was watching the grass move with the breeze. His golden eyes were transfixed.

I looked down so I could see why he was so amazed. I stared at the grass as it swayed with the breeze. After a short time, I thought I saw something move.

The more I stared, the more I saw movement through the grass. It was slow and very hard to see. The ground underneath the cage was completely in the shade and cooler than anywhere else. Whatever was moving was blending in with the yellow blades of grass.

 _Snakes_.

They were probably down there to hide out from the sun. I hadn't even considered the fact that there would be snakes on the ground until Leo unintentionally warned me. He reached down with one of his big paws to try and collect one. I told him, "You shouldn't do that! They might be dangerous!"

He was like a curious house cat, ignoring my warning and reaching as far as he could to try and swat one. I didn't see the snake that got him, but I heard Leo cry out with a sound of mixed pain and surprise. He pulled his paw out of the open space and backed off. I could see a little bit of blood by one of his toes.

Leo seemed confused as he looked at me for answers. I shook my head and said, "I guess the snake didn't want you to eat it."

He opened his mouth and began panting. He looked like he knew he had made a fatal mistake, but he was trying to cover it up by acting laid back about the whole thing. Leo stood up on all fours to wander back over to his water bowl. The hurt paw lagged a little behind the others while he walked.

Leo drank and drank and drank.

He sat down by his water bowl and his tail flopped around a bit.

I listened to him breathing. He purred when he breathed out. Deep, deep breaths.

After a while, they became more shallow and ragged.

Leo rolled over on his side. He looked like he was trying to take a nap.

I picked my legs up from the open space and stood up. Leo remained where he was as I wandered over and sat down by his head where he could see me. His eyes were still open, but he was struggling to stay awake. His hurt paw was swelling up. I asked him quietly, "What can I do, Leo?"

He took in a breath and let out a sort of hiss mixed with a groan, like he was telling he me didn't know what to do. I reached up to touch his mane and I stroked the thick, oily hair between my fingers.

Tears streamed down my face as I watched Leo close his eyes. He continued to breathe for a very long time, but his tail didn't flop around as much.

"I'm sorry, Leo," I leaned in and kissed his nose.

As the sun fell behind the earth, Leo took his last breath.


	37. Chapter 37

37:

I had to get out of this cage.

Once the sun had gone away, I was surrounded by a kind of deep darkness that plays tricks on the eyes. I would see things moving around the cage. Shadows that grew large and faded away. A light breeze brushed the tall blades of grass against one another. It made a hissing sound that reminded me that snakes were on the ground.

I assumed the snakes were no longer under the cage and they were out hunting. It was the only way that I could gather the courage to slide down the space between the boards. I had to leave Leo behind, but I would make sure he was not forgotten.

Holding the loose boards between my hands, I stuck them down through the space and tapped them against the ground for a while. I thought it might scare away any snakes that were around. Then, I dropped the boards on the ground underneath the cage so that I could walk on them. I managed to squeeze through the space and stepped down onto the boards. I quickly hunkered down and wandered out from under the cage.

I took one of the boards and held it up next to me. I thought if I bumped it against the ground while I walked, it would make the snakes think that something big was coming and they would move out of the way. My eyes were fairly adjusted to the darkness. I could see the little lightning bugs near the trees. It was humid and mosquitoes were biting me. I had to ignore it and keep moving.

I was going to make it. I was going to make it back home.

:-:

A long time passed. I walked until my feet hurt. I was grateful that I hadn't stepped on a sticker patch, but there was still a lot of ground to cover. I tried to remember how people found a river when they were on hikes. At my old school, my science teacher, Mr. Austin, was an avid hunter. We learned more about what's inside of a deer than a frog. He used to rattle off these tips about survival, one of which was how to locate a river in the middle of a dense forest. There was something about moss growing on rocks and trees, but that didn't apply to my current situation.

I felt more thirsty than hungry. My feet were starting to bleed from all the walking. I could feel my legs starting to itch from the grass rubbing against it and all the bugs biting my skin. I put the board down and sat on it to take a rest. I looked up at the stars, which were shining brightly and beautifully across the night sky.

There was one star that stood out the brightest. I thought it was probably the North Star that Mr. Austin talked about. He said, "If you follow that bright bastard, it will get you on home."

I had no idea why following one particular star would be an accurate guide, but I decided to try it out. I got up and grabbed my board. I tried to pass the time by using the board to tap a beat against the ground. I sang along to the beat, although I wasn't very good at keeping up with it. The singing kept me occupied.

At one point, I thought I heard someone yell. I stopped tapping my board and listened.

"...thew," I thought I heard a female voice call out.

I listened for a little longer. The voice came again, "Maaaathewwwwww!"

My name wasn't Matthew, but I thought I would volunteer to answer, anyway.

"Hello?!" I called back.

The female voice didn't answer me. I began to feel sick to my stomach as I second guessed myself. Maybe I was wrong and it was just the sound of the wind. I was probably hallucinating.

"Maaaaathewwwww!" the voice called out again, this time much closer.

"I'm here! I'm over here!" yelled.

I banged my board against the ground to help the other person get an idea of where I was. I saw a light in the distance. As the flame closed in on me, I realized it was coming from an old barn lamp. There was a woman carrying the lamp, though she looked more like she belonged at a heavy metal concert than an open field in Tennessee. Her hair was a deep red that went almost to her backside. She was wearing a black shirt that was too small, so her breasts appeared to be huge. She had tattered jeans and chains hooked through the belt loops and holes. Her wrists were covered with various bracelets, some of them spiked and others made of leather. Her skin was almost porcelain and her smile was more inviting than her style of dress as she asked, "You lost?"

"I'm Elizabeth. Liz. Chapfield," I told her.

She turned her head to one side and made a confused expression. She didn't seem to recognize me at first, but then she straightened and asked in a quieter tone, "Chapfield."

"Yes. Someone put me out here in a cage. I've been lost for hours. Please, do you know the way back to Trumbly's mansion?"

The woman studied me a moment, as if she were deciding whether she should help me or not. She finally responded, "You were caged up out here?"

She made it sound like it was odd, but not the weirdest thing she'd ever heard. I nodded and she held the light up so she could see my face a little better. She looked down at my pregnant belly and said, "But you've got a baby in there."

"Yes, yes, I do," I replied.

The woman refocused her attention on my eyes and said, "You know this is Reinhearst territory."

She didn't phrase it like a question. She made it sound like this was public knowledge and it was a bit of an inconvenience to repeat because it was so obvious. She narrowed her eyes to watch for my reaction, as if my mention of being a Chapfield meant I would only be there for suspicious reasons.

"Um...I didn't know that. No one told me," I told her honestly.

She nodded a little bit like she respected my honesty, though her eyes said that she was disappointed in the simplicity of my response. Maybe she wanted a more exciting story from me.

"The Reinhearst boys don't want Chappies, here. They'll chain you to the floor so much as eat you," she glanced around as if to make sure they weren't near enough to hear her.

I didn't want to tell her that I've already had my experience with Reinhearst supporters chaining me to the floor and eating my toenail clippings. I just nodded my head and said, "Could you get me back to my uncle?"

"He's gone at the time," she used the same public knowledge tone as before.

I was having more trouble than I thought I would communicating with this woman. She was either simple-minded or she thought that I was. Her words seemed to take time to reach me. She was in no rush to help, but she hadn't shown a desire to leave me behind. Her intentions were as hard to read as her expressions.

"I know he's gone, but I live at his mansion with Dean-"

The woman interrupted with, "Dean came by here not two hours, ago!"

"He did? Oh, which way did he go?" I pleaded.

The woman shook her head and said, "Can't go off after him in your state."

She pointed at my legs. I didn't dare look down because I would probably panic when I saw how beat up they were. The woman pointed at my feet and said in that same public knowledge tone, "You need shoes to be out here."

"Please! Please take me to Dean, or tell me where he is!" I tried to keep the woman on track.

She lowered her lamp and took me by the hand. I let my board drop to the ground. We started walking back in the direction she came from. She didn't mention where we were going. I followed along, anyway.

We walked up a slight incline and I was taken aback by a sudden burst of light once we reached the top. A series of trailers and old caravans were lined up in a semi-circle around a large bonfire that was mostly burned out. There were other lamps hanging around and some trailers had Christmas lights plugged into old generators. I couldn't see anyone around, but there were several large dogs playing with each other near the bonfire.

"We'll go this way and not wake the others," the woman told me.

I nodded and she led me off to the left. We came around behind one of the trailers and she let go of my hand. She told me, "Wait here."

I stayed where I was. The woman went inside her trailer and came back out with a pair of shoes and a shawl. She handed them to me and said, "Put these on."

The shoes were a little too big, but I wasn't complaining. My feet were numb at that point. The woman draped the black shawl around my waist and tied it at the ends to protect my legs from the tall grass. She took me by the hand, again.

She carried her lamp at her other side, but she didn't seem to need the light that much to find her way around. I asked her while we walked, "What's your name?"

"Friends call me Lita," she answered.

She made it sound like I wasn't at that level, yet, so I asked, "What would you like me to call you?"

She shrugged and replied, "Amy."

"Thank you for helping me, Amy. I mean it," I told her.

She nodded and moved a little faster. I got the impression that my talking was a distraction. I kept quiet and watched as Amy made her way along as if a path was already carved in front of her. She only stopped a couple of times to listen, though I wasn't sure what for. Maybe the person named Matthew who she was calling for was still out here, somewhere.

"Hold on," she said at one point.

I stopped and she let go of my hand. She took a few more steps forward and whistled at the darkness. After a few seconds, someone whistled back.

Amy whistled again and we waited. A figure formed in the darkness. It was moving slowly, at first, but it moved faster when it caught sight of us.

"Liz!" I heard Dean call out to me.

"Oh, Dean!" I made a run for him.

He was faster and scooped me up. He held me close to him and I completely forgot where I was.

Dean put me down and looked me over. He didn't have to check under the shawl to know my legs were bad and he could tell the shoes were not mine because I always wore sandals. Dean turned to Amy and asked, "Where'd you find her?"

She pointed off in the distance and said, "Back that way."

Amy used her public knowledge tone, again. Dean scoffed and replied sarcastically, "Well, that's helpful."

I wasn't sure how Amy would react to being mocked. She simply shrugged her shoulders and explained more thoroughly, "About a half-mile ahead of the Moon Trails, forty-five feet from the Skunk Mines."

I guess all Amy needed was a little sarcasm to get her out of her Captain Obvious shell.

Dean turned to face me. I thought he would ask where I was or how I got out here, but instead of his usual interrogation, he told me, "I'm glad to see you."

"Thank you, Amy," he said, then he took my hand and we walked away.

She didn't respond, but I could see the light from her lamp shining behind us for a long while. I noticed that Dean didn't call her Lita, the name she said her friends used. If she wasn't friends with Dean and she lived on Reinhearst territory, I wondered why she bothered to help me at all.

I walked with Dean for a while, then he stopped to let me rest. It was still very dark, but there were more lightning bugs flying around, which cast a blue tone against Dean's hairy face once in a while. He looked somber and tired. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a granola bar. He handed it to me and I practically inhaled it. Dean gave me stern look as he replied, "You should chew a little more. It's a choking hazard."

The old Dean was back, and I wasn't sad to see him.


	38. Chapter 38

38:

"How bad is it?"

I was lying in my bed with my legs propped up on a bunch of pillows. Dean had put a blanket over my legs so I didn't panic. Miz had lifted the blanket to observe the damage. A suitcase full of herbs sat at the bedside table. It smelled really nice.

Sheamus was sitting on one side of Dean's bed. Sami was holding his hand and resting his head on his shoulder. Sheamus was staring at the floor. He seemed so far away.

Dean and I found Sheamus and Sami on our way back to the house. I told Sheamus about the cage and Leo. He hadn't said another word, since.

"You're a very brave woman to walk your way through all that wilderness," Miz lifted his head and smiled back at me.

"I don't feel very brave right now," I replied somberly.

Miz went to his open suitcase and pulled out a bottle or herbs. He took out another bottle of oil and a bowl to mix them together. While he was mixing, he asked me various questions, "How are you feeling right now, Liz?"

"A little warm, but I'm okay."

"Did you see the lightning bugs while you were out?"

"They're so pretty. They really brighten up the night sky."

"Would you like something to drink?

I checked the bedside table. My usual glass of water was there, but it was mostly empty. Dean snatched it up and walked out to refill it. I glanced at Sheamus. He wouldn't look at me, but Sami smiled and waved.

I waved back at him. Miz had produced a paste in his bowl and he went back to my legs. He asked Sami, "Could you keep this blanket lifted for me?"

Sami got up to help. Sheamus fell back against the bed and stared up at the ceiling. I opened my mouth to tell him how sorry I was, but Dean rushed back through the door and handed me the glass of water as he stated firmly, "Drink up."

He helped me sit up on my elbows so I could drink. I was surprised how thirsty I was and I finished off the full glass. Dean walked out once more and I laid back against the pillows.

Whatever Miz was putting on my legs had a soothing effect, but it was stinging just a little bit. My skin was also starting to feel hotter. I had tried my best to stay in the shade while in the cage, but I was sure my skin was burned.

As if Miz had heard my thoughts, he turned to Sheamus and said, "Please take the white oil out of my bag and hand it to Miss Elizabeth."

Sheamus got out of bed and went over to the suitcase. He quietly took the bottle of white oil out and handed it to me. Miz informed me, "It's for your sunburned skin, sweetheart."

"Thank you," I told Sheamus and repeated my thanks to Miz.

Sheamus nodded and turned to walk over to the window. He stood there, staring out at the yard with a stoic expression. Dean walked back in and placed my refilled glass of water at the bedside table. He saw me opening the bottle and he came over to stand beside me. He watched while I rubbed the oil on my arms and across my neck. I was still wearing my dress, so I only rubbed the oil on the exposed part of my chest. I rubbed a little bit on my face and ears, then I handed the bottle to Dean and asked, "Could you get my back?"

Miz told Dean quickly, "I'm nearly finished."

Dean waited for a minute or two until Miz was done with my legs. Miz looked at me and said, "Keep this remedy on for at least two days."

"Does that mean I can't move around?" I asked.

Miz nodded and replied, "There's nothing better for you than to rest for a while."

"But what about Leo? I need to show Sheamus and Dean where he is," I remarked.

Dean shook his head and told me, "The Reinhearst members will find him."

He didn't make it sound like that was a positive thing. I asked, "Will they be even more mad at me after this?"

Sami blurted out, "Are you kidding?! They think you're a fairy!"

Dean glared at him and Sami shut his mouth. Miz chuckled. Sheamus said nothing.

I looked at Dean for answers. He replied quietly, "One of the folk tales passed down through generations is that predators cannot be tamed by a man. There are very few Carnies willing to try being a lion charmer, and some of them lose their lives in the effort."

I listened intently as Dean continued, "Some of Reinhearst's clan are from the Old Country. They believe that fairies can take on many forms, including human, and they can control many things, including animals. They see me as a wolf merged with a man. Since I'm better around you, they think you're a nymph who took on human form and tamed me."

Sami added quickly, "When you're sleepwalking, they think it's because you're trying to talk to your family in the fairy realm."

I told them honestly, "I don't think I'm a fairy, or a lion charmer."

"But you were a stranger to Leo, and he didn't hurt you," Sami pointed out.

"I don't know if I was a stranger to him. I saw him once before when I woke up after sleepwalking-"

I realized that I had said too much.

Dean widened his eyes at me. I remembered that I had only told Sheamus about encountering Leo once before. I quickly added, "Leo was on the other side of the bars that time. I wasn't in any danger!"

"I think it's time that we take our leave," Miz motioned for Sami and Sheamus to follow him."

Dean frowned and folded his arms in front of him. He waited until they left before he blew up at me, "How could you not tell me that?!"

"I knew you would be mad like you are just now!" I argued with him.

He rolled his eyes and made a heavy sigh. I took the opportunity to add, "I don't want to tell you every little thing because it upsets you! Besides, I don't like creating so much drama!"

Dean retorted angrily, " _You_ don't upset me! The _situation_ upsets me! I'm supposed to protect you and you're always slipping right through my fingers!"

He held his hands up and splayed out his fingers for emphasis. I replied quietly, "I'm not trying to slip away from you."

"The Reinhearst's are right! You must be a fucking fairy, because you'd have to be flying out the window for me not to hear you leaving this room all the time!" Dean countered.

An abrupt knock at the door made Dean clench his fists with frustration. He turned on his heel and stormed over to it. He opened the door wide and I saw Randy Orton standing on the other side. He opened his mouth to say something, but Dean took a swing at him before he could get a word out.

Randy didn't look particularly agile, but he managed to bend backwards enough to miss Dean's fist coming for his jaw. Randy moved back upright and tried to take a swing at Dean, but Dean moved out of the way and grabbed Randy around the middle. Both men went tumbling down the ramp.

"A fight?! Yeah!" I heard Kevin shout from the hallway.

"Oh, no!" I struggled to climb out of bed and get to the open doorway.

I could see Dean and Randy rolling around on the floor. Dean always had the upper hand, but this time, both men seemed evenly matched. Kevin's naked upper half was sticking out from the room at the end of the ramp. His hair was disheveled like he had been sleeping and was awakened by the noise. Charlotte put her hands on Kevin's bare shoulders and leaned against him so she could see the fight as well. She appeared to be naked and her breasts were pressed firmly against Kevin's back.

"Do something!" I yelled at Kevin.

He ignored me and shouted, "I've got ten bucks on Randy!"

Charlotte laughed out loud.

I glanced down at my legs. It looked like somebody had put a bunch of oregano flakes and lotion together and slapped it all over my skin. Every time I moved, the paste would start to crumble and fall off. I tried to lean forward so I could see down the hallway a little more. I called out, "Miz? Sheamus? Sami?!"

I wasn't sure how far gone they were, or if they would hear me at all. Sami appeared from the hallway within a few seconds, followed by Miz.

"Hey! Stop it!" Sami tried to intervene.

Randy was trying to pin Dean to the floor and he happened to kick his leg out at that moment. He hit Sami in the gut and sent him against the wall. Miz leaned down to help Sami back up.

I tried to get down the ramp, but Miz reached out to me and said, "Stay where you are, Elizabeth!"

His words made me stop. He sounded more alarmed than usual. Sami had the wind knocked out of him and he was trying to catch his breath. Kevin and Charlotte were enjoying the show. Randy had gotten a couple of good punches in and Dean's right eye was bleeding red through his dark facial hair. Dean had also left a bite mark on Randy's arm and he seemed to be aiming his strength on Randy's shoulders. I didn't know why until I heard a blunt popping sound and Randy cried out as his right shoulder went out of its socket.

"You motherfucker!" Randy held his arm and spit at Dean.

Dean was rising up to his knees to hit Randy, again. Randy swung his good arm between Dean's legs and nailed him right in the crotch.

"Looooowwww bloooooowwwwww!" Kevin proclaimed.

Dean went down to the floor. Randy took the moment to get up on his own knees so he could hit Dean, again. Randy raised his good arm back and glanced down the hallway. He stopped short.

I couldn't see what Randy was looking at, but he was obviously startled by it. All but Dean looked in the same direction. Sami's mouth dropped open in shock. Kevin chuckled. I knew it was bad if Kevin was laughing.

Sheamus appeared with an ax in his hands. He was holding it up with full intention of driving it at Randy Orton's head.

"STOP RIGHT NOW!" Miz stepped between Sheamus and Randy.

Sheamus looked intent on going right through Miz if it meant getting to Randy.

"Don't! Don't!" Sami cried out.

"Fuck," Dean groaned as he sat up on his knees to shove Randy out of the way.

Miz reached out to Sheamus and pinched the left side of his neck. Sheamus was still trying to come forward, but his speed had dropped tremendously. The ax tumbled out of his hands. It was top heavy and spun around behind Miz before taking a slice out of the wood floor.

The ax would have hit Randy if Dean hadn't moved him out of the way.

"What the fuck, man?!" Randy yelled at Sheamus.

Miz took control of the situation by saying, "That's enough! That is ENOUGH!"

Turning his attention to Sheamus, Miz looked him dead in the eyes and stated, "You will go back to your shed with Sami. You will rest until it is time for morning duties."

I thought Miz was hypnotizing Sheamus like I had seen him do to others, but Sheamus didn't look to be in a trance. Instead, he looked more agitated and his face was turning red.

"Come on, Shea. Let's go," Sami took his hand and led him away.

The whole time I could see Sheamus, he didn't take his eyes off of Miz.

Kevin, bored with the lack of mayhem, snorted and turned around to make out with Charlotte. They stumbled back into their room and slammed the door. Their usual moans and groans could easily be heard by the rest of us.

Miz looked up at me and said, "Please go back to your bed and rest, Liz."

I obeyed him because I wasn't really doing much good standing on the stairs. I left the door open because I thought Dean would be coming up, soon.

There was some commotion at the bottom of the ramp. I couldn't hear what was being said over Kevin and Charlotte going at it. I closed my eyes to try and listen a little better. I hadn't realized how tired I was until that moment. I fell asleep and dreamed that I was a fairy who flew out the window of my bedroom while Dean and Sheamus tried to hold back a huge lion with ten dollars and an ax.


	39. Chapter 39

39:

"I should be allowed to go to his funeral!" I shouted.

"Liz, it's a funeral for a lion. Besides, your legs are not in good shape to be wandering around outside in the heat," Seth informed me.

I laid in bed with my legs propped up on pillows and my arms folded stiffly in front of me. Miz ordered that I stay in bed for at least a week while I used his mojo lotion to heal my legs, but I was already very bored after almost two days of not being a part of anything. Dean had persuaded Seth and Bayley to come back to the house and stay with me while Dean went out with Sheamus to find Leo's body. They were able to recover him and give him an honorable send-off, which I wanted to be a part of.

"I don't care about my stupid legs! Leo saved me from the snakes! If he hadn't sacrificed himself, I would be the one dead right now!"

Seth swallowed hard and looked away. I could see the pain in his expression at the thought of my passing. Bayley put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him, which only made me feel more uncomfortable.

"I want to be there! I think I should be there!" I started to get out of bed.

Seth pushed me back down and pinned my shoulders to the bed. He told me adamantly, "You are not going outside! It's still not totally clear who put you in that cage, and we don't need to give them another chance!"

I hadn't really thought of that. The blame was mostly going to Randy Orton at this point, though Dean had said he was claiming innocence and the Carnies would be holding a trial to determine that. I wasn't really sure what evidence they had, besides the fact that Randy had done the same thing to Dean in the past. I didn't like Randy all that much, but I didn't want him to be killed like Stephanie if it turned out he wasn't the culprit.

Tears were starting to form in my eyes. I argued angrily, "I'm so bored! I want to do something! Anything! I want to be out of this room!"

Seth shook his head like he didn't know what to say. Bayley decided to make a suggestion, "What if we all go for a ride into town?"

Seth looked up at her and opened his mouth to object, so Bayley quickly added, "We can just stay in the car and drive around the whole time! We'll get some food in the drive-thru and Liz can show us the sights!"

It was a pretty good idea. I still had to point out, "Dean won't like it if I leave."

"I'll write a note for him. I think he'll understand if he knows that you're with us and not out by yourself or anything," Bayley replied.

I nodded and said quietly, "Alright, I guess," but inside I was ready to burst with excitement.

:-:

Seth drove his slightly used minivan with Bayley in the passenger side and me in the back seat. The vehicle itself felt like it belonged to a soccer mom. Seth spent the majority of the drive into town telling me about where and why he bought it. Although he didn't actually say the words, it was clear to me that he and Bayley were already planning for children.

There was something off-putting about the two of them. I blamed it on the fact that Bayley was such an ultra positive person, which made it hard to come up with a good reason to dislike her. I wasn't jealous so much as envious of how well their lives were turning out. Seth had gone from having his heart crushed once he realized I couldn't love him the way he loved me to marrying his soulmate and buying a "super safe" vehicle in preparation for fatherhood in less time than it took me to wake up from sleepwalking.

"The school is over there. I was supposed to register, but I left when they told me I was too pregnant," I retorted.

Bayley gasped and looked at Seth. He rolled his eyes and replied over his shoulder, "People can't keep you out of school for being pregnant!"

"Oh, really? Have you ever been pregnant? Do you know how fat and ugly I feel right now?" I argued.

"I've only been pregnant that one time, and you said you'd never bring it up!" Seth pretended to be horrified.

Bayley giggled and Seth leaned over to give her a quick kiss. We passed AJ's house and I mentioned, "That's where the guy who makes me feel like an idiot lives. He wanted me to be his girlfriend until he found out I was living with Carnies and I'm accidentally pregnant and not slutty pregnant. Now, he sucks face with some other girl and acts like he doesn't understand what's the matter with me."

"Did he really say that to you?! Did he call you a slut?!" Seth sounded mad.

"I'm sure it was a misunderstanding," Bayley squeezed Seth's shoulder, then she looked back at me and asked, "He didn't call you a slut, did he?"

I sighed and replied, "No, he didn't call me that, but he was watching me and Dean almost having sex at the side of the road, once."

Seth slammed on the brakes as he nearly missed the only red light in town. The truck to the left of him honked loudly and the old male driver put his fist out the window to shake it as he moved on. Seth turned back to face me and asked seriously, "You and Dean were doing it at the side of the road?!"

"We were in a truck!" I shot back defensively.

"But somehow, this AJ guy is watching the two of you? How the hell does that happen?!" Seth waved his hands in the air.

A car behind us honked their horn. The light had turned green. Seth turned the corner and started down another street. He frowned and hunched his shoulders. Bayley kept trying to pat his right shoulder, but he would jerk away from her. We passed the movie theater and I said, "That's the theater. I like going there. It's where Sheamus told me that love has no limits and it's okay if he wants to be with a man and I want to be with a _really_ hairy man."

Seth suddenly pulled into an empty parking space in front of an old thrift store. He got out of the minivan and started walking down the street. He didn't even bother to take the keys out of the ignition.

"Wait, here," Bayley smiled uneasily at me, then she got out and chased after Seth.

I watched them walk around the corner. I waited a while before I got out and slipped into the front seat. I turned the engine off and waited a little more. Seth and Bayley were sure taking their time to come back.

I started to get hungry. I saw Bayley's purse on the floor of the passenger side. I opened it up and pulled out a ten dollar bill. I planned on paying her back. I got out of the vehicle and went to a candy shop just a few yards away. My legs were still covered in thick lotion, but I had put some sweat pants on to hide the damage. I went inside and saw an older, red-headed woman behind the counter. She smiled warmly at me when I entered and asked, "What's your drug of choice, Miss?"

"Rock candy," I answered.

She pointed over to one corner of the shop, where a huge wall of rock candy in various flavors decorated the section. I squealed and rushed over to check it out.

"You and your friends getting along?" the old woman asked from behind the counter.

She must've seen Seth and Bayley get out of the minivan from the window of her shop. I grabbed a few sticks of rock candy and went up to the counter to pay for it. I explained while she rang me up, "It's been stressful, lately."

"With the baby coming?" the woman pointed her chin down at my belly.

"I guess you could say that," I replied.

She wrapped my candy in tissue paper of various colors and placed them carefully into a paper bag. She handed the bag to me and said, "Don't eat all this at once."

"I won't," I said.

I started to hand her the ten dollars, but she waved it away and replied, "You use that for diapers. You'll be needing them."

"Thank you!" I beamed.

I left the store and started back for the minivan. I heard someone yell from behind me, "Hey, Liz!"

I looked back and saw AJ coming down the street in his truck. He parked near Seth's minivan and hung his head out the window as he asked, "What're you doing out here all by yourself?"

"Buying candy," I held up my bag.

"Yeah, well," AJ glanced around and asked, "Is Dean with you?"

"I came with my baby daddy and his wife," I answered honestly.

AJ nodded but took one more quick glance around, like he thought Dean might pounce on him if he wasn't careful.

"The father of your...um...it's Seth, right? I saw him at the hospital, I think," AJ told me.

He was acting like he wanted to make conversation with me, but he was being held back by an invisible force. He cleared his throat and asked, "You need a ride or something?"

"No, thanks. Seth is coming back, soon," I informed him.

AJ nodded, but I still felt like he didn't trust anything I said. I told him more directly, "Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend, Janet?"

"Oh, no, she...I dropped her off a while, ago," he made it sound like it wasn't that important.

"Alright, well...I guess I should go," I tried to walk away.

"So, when is the baby due?" AJ didn't seem to want me to leave.

It felt kind of weird that he was suddenly showing so much interest in me. The last time we talked at all was when I was standing in line to register for school, and he was basically only addressing me to look cool in front of Janet.

"Why do you always ask me if Dean's around? Do you think he's gonna eat you or something?" I countered.

AJ scoffed and his face took on a darker expression. He didn't like being teased.

"Look, I don't know what your problem is! I'm trying to be nice to you so you don't have to feel so alone at school, and all you've done is throw it back in my face!" he scolded me.

I yelled right back at him, "So, I'm supposed to be grateful for your pity?!"

"Yeah, you should be! I am a very popular guy! I could decide whether people make your life hell around here or not!"

"You're a jerk!" I told him.

"And you're a stupid bitch!" AJ countered.

"What the hell did you just say to her?" Seth yelled from down the block.

He was coming up full force towards AJ's truck. Bayley stopped beside me and AJ tried to pull out of the parking space. Seth ran up to his window and stuck his fist through, catching AJ in the lower jaw. AJ slammed on the brakes and Seth fell backwards onto the road. AJ slammed on the gas and hightailed it out of there as fast as he could.

"Seth!" Bayley rushed over to help him up.

His hands were scraped up, but he looked unhurt. Seth ignored Bayley and stormed over to me. He locked eyes with me and asked, "Why didn't you stay put like you were supposed to?! Why don't you ever do what you're supposed to?!"

I had never seen Seth so mad at me, before. He turned on his heel and paced away from me, then he came rushing back. He clapped his hands on either side of my face and pulled me so close to him that I could see the patterns in his brown irises. He whispered something in a chanting way and mashed his lips against mine.

The kiss was so passionate, it was borderline painful. Seth was holding my face like he wanted to embrace me and crush my skull at the same time. He was never like this with me, before. I didn't know how to react.

It took a few seconds for my mind to register what Seth had whispered.

" _I'm lying to myself."_

He pulled his lips away from mine and he stared at me like we were the only two people in the world. When he finally did remove his hands, I looked over at Bayley. She was standing there with tears in her eyes. Her expression wasn't one of shock, but one of _knowing_.

"Fuck," Seth mumbled under his breath.

He leaned down and picked up my bag of candy. I didn't know I had even dropped it until he was putting it back in my hand. He put his hands on my cheeks again, this time to rub away the redness as he said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have grabbed you like that. I'm sorry."

My head was spinning. I blinked a few times and tried to settle myself. Seth turned away from me and walked over to Bayley. He whispered something to her I couldn't hear. She nodded and got back in the minivan. Seth came over to me and said, "We'll get something to eat and I'll take you home."

"I..."

There was a moment where my body felt flush, like drinking ice cold water on a really hot day. The ground had dropped out from under me and I was falling. I heard my bag of candy hit the ground, again. It made a weird sound.

"Liz?! Elizabeth?!" Seth was looking down at me.

It felt wet between my legs. I looked down and saw that my jeans were dark.

I finally realized that I was lying on the ground. I couldn't remember the space between when I was standing and when I was not. Seth was trying to help me up. He shouted over his shoulder at Bayley, "Call an ambulance!"

The old woman from the candy store appeared on my right side. She took my hand and said, "It's alright, love. Looks like baby's coming."

"I'm not ready," I whispered to her.

"Sure you are," she smiled back at me.


	40. Chapter 40

40:

My father, Hefram Chapfield, was what some people in the town called, "Hyper-religious."

He dressed, walked and talked like a leader of a church. He went every Sunday. He always took Abbey and I along. When I was very young, I thought the church was like a second school that I went to on the weekends. The other kids who attended my church were not from my school, which made it seem like our friendships were all the more special. They understood to an extent why my father was the way he was, though I always felt like there was something about our family that differed from the others.

As I got older, I wondered why my father wasn't a church leader. He was often mistaken for one. He remembered every word of The Bible and recited it daily. He helped the church to organize events. He wasn't much of a personal volunteer, but he would manage the people who were volunteering. Many of those in town called him _Father_ Hefram or _Brother_ Hefram.

I remember thinking that maybe the church leaders wouldn't officially promote him because he was so religious, he would make them look like they weren't trying hard enough. As I entered my teen years, I began noticing my father's frustrations about the church. He never outright said that he was angry he wasn't given a title, but he was quick to point out the mistakes of those who had titles.

I also began to understand that being hyper-religious wasn't necessarily a good thing. My father had no friends beyond our church, and those within the church were showing signs that they were tired of his constant need for perfectionism. Our church leaders came over less and less. My father blamed me, saying it was my change to womanhood that was keeping the men away. This didn't explain the women, who also stopped coming over to bake and crochet with Abbey.

When I asked kids my own age to come over, they were very reluctant. I didn't understand why at the time. I knew what my father was like, but I had lived with him my whole life. I thought lots of other fathers were like him. I thought his only real flaw was that he cared too much. He wanted to be as close to God as possible, and he wanted others to do the same so they would not end up in hell.

Seth was not from our church. He told me, "My family doesn't subscribe to any religious views."

I think that was one of the things that attracted me to him. His family was the complete opposite of mine. His parents were scientists. They were open to the viewpoints of others. They didn't seem to care whether they received recognition for anything that they did. They had friends who lived all over the world. It didn't make sense to me that people who were so good despite not having a religious preference could still end up going to hell.

I wanted Seth to come to our church and meet my parents. I thought my father would learn to like Seth once he saw that Seth was a good person. I asked Seth twice to come to church with me. Both times, he turned me down. The second time, I asked him, "Why won't you come with me?"

"Because you want me to impress your dad, and that's not going to happen," Seth answered.

At the time, I thought he was being ridiculous.

Now, I know better.

"Call Dean. Tell him to call Uncle Trumbly," I told Seth before the EMTs put me in the ambulance.

The old woman with red hair waved at me through the window after they closed the doors. Seth had some of my blood and other excretions on his hands and his shirt. He was staring at the ambulance with his mouth hanging open like he wasn't sure exactly what to do. I could see Bayley taking out her cell phone.

She would be the one to call _Mr. Ambrose._

The hospital wasn't very far away, but the ride there felt long. One of the EMTs was with me in the back. He was young and had really short dark hair. His shirt was blue, but it looked faded from being washed too many times. He was telling me things like, "Everything's going to be fine, Miss Chapfield," and, "Don't you worry."

I felt numb and in tremendous pain at the same time. I was crying quiet tears while I tried to remember how I was supposed to be breathing. _Was I supposed to push, yet?_

"Don't you worry, Miss Chapfield," I heard the EMT say once more.

I thought about Abbey and I wondered if Uncle Trumbly was able to get her away from my father, yet. I didn't want to have my baby without Abbey there. My birth mother, Marlyn, was also with Trumbly. I realized that none of my actual family members would likely be there for the birth of my child. This made me feel sick to my stomach.

"Have you picked out a name for the baby, yet?" the EMT asked me.

I thought I had something picked out, but I couldn't remember, so I just said, "Um...no."

"That's alright," he smiled at me and added, "You've got plenty of time. No rush, Miss Chapfield."

I nodded and he said, "Lots of mothers around here name their baby girls after themselves or their grand-mommas. Just a thought."

"Am I having a girl?" I asked curiously.

His smile faltered for a second, like he had said the wrong thing, then he quickly gathered himself and replied with a smile, "I'm not sure, Miss Chapfield."

"Oh," I said.

The doors flew open and I felt a gust of wind. I realized we were parked in front of the emergency room entrance and the other EMT had opened up the back of the ambulance. I was carted into the main nurse's station, then transferred to another room down the hall with a sign that said: OB FACILITY.

I noticed this area had a different feel from the room I was in last time I came to the hospital. It was less bland and sterile and looked more like a tranquil getaway. The walls were painted in periwinkle. There were baby animals painted around the corners. I could see some high-end chairs stationed around the room and a TV was posted on the wall.

"Is this the delivery room?" I asked the female nurse in pink scrubs who walked in after me.

She shook her heart-shaped face and replied, "This is where you'll be before and after the delivery. Labor is a tricky thing. It could be hours before you're fully dilated."

" _Hours_?!" I felt a sense of panic.

"There's no need to worry," she put her hands on my arms and reassured me.

I saw another nurse with Asian features come up to my other side. She started an IV and helped me to undress so I could slip on a gown. She wiped up some of the mess between my legs. The Asian nurse noticed the cuts all over my legs and the lotion covering them. She tried to stay calm as she pointed at the cuts and asked, "How did you get these?"

"Uncle Trumbly has a large yard. The grass is tall in some places. I like to go out walking a lot," I told her.

The Asian nurse exchanged a tense glance with the nurse in pink.

I asked the nurse in pink, "Does anyone know I'm here?"

"We will direct all family your way," the nurse assured me.

"What about my friends? My parents are out of town," I told her.

"What about your uncle?" the Asian nurse asked.

"He's also out of town," I informed her.

The nurse in pink continued to smile, though her expression was stiff as she explained, "Friends will be in the waiting room until after the birth."

I started to panic, again. The nurse in pink squeezed my hand and told me, "Don't you worry, Miss Chapfield."

I wish people would stop saying that.

:-:

When I was about twelve-years-old, my father took Abbey and I to the house of a fellow church member. They were expecting their fourth child, and the mother was planning on giving birth in a dirt pit they had dug in the backyard.

"The people of Africa do this all the time," I heard the mother say.

She was moaning and groaning like she was in a lot of pain. She kept squatting down in her hole. Her sandals were black from the dirt. I couldn't help thinking that she looked terribly uncomfortable.

Abbey and I were with other female church members and the woman's young female children. Hefram was in the house with the father, their only son, and some other young men from the church. At one point, the woman screamed, and one of the young men came out to check on her. The other women yelled at him until he went back in the house.

"Are boys not allowed to see?" I asked Abbey.

She hugged me close and said, "It's best they stay away."

"Why? Will they try to eat the baby?" I asked, thinking of the animals we were learning about in science class.

"Of course not!" Abbey laughed.

I didn't dare ask another question. I felt embarrassed for not knowing why men weren't allowed to see women giving birth. I thought it was weird that the father couldn't even be there. _Didn't he care that this was happening?_

There was a problem that day. The woman wasn't able to give birth and the father had to take her to the hospital. This made my father deeply disappointed. He kept bringing up how I was born in a hospital and that was not the natural way. He made it sound like it was my fault for not knowing how to be born right. At the time, I thought he was criticizing Abbey for going to a hospital to have me. I would later learn that it was Marlyn who actually gave birth to me, and my father took me away from her.

"Liz?" I heard Dean call to me from the hallway.

I had been waiting in the silence for what felt like hours. I didn't think they would let Dean come back to see me since he wasn't a family member, but he reminded me when he came through the door, "It's your brother, Dean!"

He had told the hospital he was my brother when I was there the last time so they would let him stay with me. He came over to take my hand and I said, "I'm so glad to see you!"

He leaned down to kiss me. When Dean broke away, I looked over and saw Seth coming through the door, as well.

Dean shot Seth a hard glare. I assumed Seth had already told him about the spontaneous kiss we had right before I went into labor. Seth could sometimes be painfully honest, to a point where I wondered if he cared about his own survival.

"Did they tell you anything? Is the baby alright?" Seth sounded frantic.

"They haven't told me much. They said I could be in labor for hours," I told him.

" _Hours_?!" Seth shrieked.

"That's exactly how I said it," I teased him to lighten the mood.

He didn't laugh. Seth started pacing the room. I looked at Dean and he was super collected. He told me softly, "I called Trumbly. He's on his way."

"Is Abbey coming?" I asked hopefully.

Dean swallowed hard and replied, "She is. Trumbly had to confront Hefram to get to her. He had to tell them that you were in labor just to get Hefram to listen. The only way Hefram would agree to let Abbey leave was if he could come with her."

"So, Daddy is coming?" I asked.

Dean nodded somberly, then he added, "This will work out best for you and Abbey. Trumbly is going to have Hefram arrested as soon as they arrive. Abbey can press charges against him for holding her against her will. He will go to jail, Liz."

"No," I shook my head.

"Why not?" Dean asked, confused.

"Daddy is very persuasive. He'll find a way out of trouble. He always does," I answered.

Seth came up beside me and blurted out, "Not this time, Liz! The charges are serious! Abbey could even claim that he raped her..."

He trailed off and glanced at Dean. I saw Dean give Seth another hard glare. Seth went back to pacing.

"Daddy didn't rape her, did he?" I asked Dean.

He sighed and replied, "I don't know. If he ever tried to have sex with her and she didn't want to..."

"Daddy would say she's his wife, though," I told him.

Dean blinked slowly and changed the subject, "Let's not worry about that, right now. The focus should be on you. What do you need?"

Seth spoke before I could, "It's okay if you need drugs to get through this, Liz! I've done my research! It's not as bad as people think!"

"I haven't really thought about it," I felt kind of embarrassed.

"It's your choice," Dean reminded me.

I nodded and tried to remember the woman from my church giving birth in a dirt pit. She wasn't on any medicine, but she also had a problem and ended up in the hospital, anyway.

"Did Marlyn take anything when she had me?" I asked Dean.

"I don't know," he shook his head.

"I wish I could ask somebody. I don't know anything," I suddenly felt very vulnerable.

Dean looked at Seth and said, "Go to the waiting room and get Charlotte. She used to work with midwives."

"Charlotte? I think she hates me," I told Dean.

"She doesn't hate you," Dean argued with me.

Seth left the room and came back a minute later with Charlotte. She frowned when she looked over the room and said, "This looks like a place for kids."

Charlotte went to the end of the bed and pulled off the blanket covering my lower half. She pulled my knees apart and stuck her head down near my crotch as she asked, "How far are you dilated?"

I jumped a little bit, startled by her level of bluntness. I also didn't like being so exposed. Dean let out a frustrated sigh and told Charlotte, "You could've asked that without blowing her open."

"Like you don't love seeing me so close to her clit!" Charlotte countered sharply.

Seth's eyes went wide as he stared at the chaos happening in front of him. Charlotte continued to inspect my lady parts like they were a subject of great interest. Her hands were cold and I kept flinching. Dean finally yelled at her, "What the fuck are you looking for?"

Charlotte lifted her head and looked back at me. Her face was contorted in an expression that I didn't recognize from her. It looked somewhat like concern mixed with other emotions she didn't normally show.

"I don't like this," she said.

"Why? What's wrong?" Dean argued.

The door opened and the nurse in pink walked in. She stopped short when she saw Charlotte standing there. The nurse folded her arms and said, "You're not family."

"Why? Because I have a beard?! _Discrimination_ , BITCH!" Charlotte screamed.

"Get out!" the nurse pointed at the door.

"Fuck you and your girlfriend!" Charlotte stayed defiant.

The nurse in pink looked furious as she stated, "I'm getting security!"

"You do that! At least it will be something useful!" Charlotte spat at her.

The nurse in pink left the room. Dean told Charlotte, "You should get out of here."

Charlotte turned back to him and said, "We should all get out of here. There's something wrong. The nurses don't know it because they're too busy calling social services."

"What?!" Seth and I asked at the same time.

Charlotte turned to Seth and explained, "I heard the nurses talking at their station. They saw Liz's legs when she came in. She looks like she's been abused. She's also an underage pregnant girl who lives in a house full of Carnies, she kisses her hairy "brother" on the mouth and all of her known family are said to be out of town."

She came around to my arm and took the IV out. I was surprised how skilled Charlotte was at it. She told Dean, "I'll distract them. You have to get Liz out of here and let Miz help her. He'll know how to fix this."

I remembered that Charlotte had told me about the vision Miz had. She said my baby would be stillborn after a horrible and bloody labor. I also remembered that Miz had told me that, although he did see my baby being stillborn in his vision, the future was not set in stone.

Charlotte ran out to the hallway and started screaming. Seth, Dean and I waited for a short while. Dean wrapped a blanket around me and picked me up in his arms. Seth held the door open and we took off in the opposite direction from where Charlotte was having a meltdown in the hallway.

"How can Miz fix this? Social services could still come to the house," Seth argued as we reached the parking lot.

Dean slipped me into the passenger side of the truck. He turned to Seth and told him, "Go back inside and tell the others we're out. Tell Sheamus I took Liz to the red caravan. He'll know where it is."

Seth looked like he didn't want to leave. Dean shoved him and said, "Do as you're told!"

"Be safe, Liz," Seth told me, then he turned around and headed back to the hospital.

Dean got in on the driver's side. He looked at me and asked seriously, "You okay?"

"Let's go," I nodded, and he drove off.


	41. Chapter 41

41:

Dean was quiet for most of the drive. He was concentrating on the road because it was so dark and we were headed down a dirt path. The truck jumbled to the right and the left. Dean was trying to go as fast as he can without making it more difficult for me. I watched as trees and bugs flew by the headlights and disappeared somewhere in the darkness. I wondered how people ever found their way out of remote locations without some source of light. Then, I remembered that I found my way out of a lion cage and back to civilization in the middle of the night. With the right determination, people really could do just about anything.

"How do you feel?" Dean asked, still keeping his eyes squarely on the road.

"I'm okay," I said.

"Really? You're not just saying that?" Dean sounded concerned.

"No, I'm fine. I'm really fine," I said.

"This is shit. What's happening. I didn't want you to have to give birth in some caravan like this," Dean grumbled.

"You and Miz will take care of me. I'm not worried," I said.

"You're just saying that," he sounded convinced that I must be telling lies to make him feel better.

"I'm not worried! Besides, it will be a good story to tell our son," I told him.

Dean briefly slowed way down to look at me with widened eyes. He turned his attention back to the road and replied darkly, "Seth is his father."

"You don't want to be a dad?" I asked him curiously.

Dean didn't respond. I suddenly realized that we had yet to have a conversation about our future. We had begun a few times, but they were always shut down by Dean being self-depreciating or me getting into yet another source of trouble.

"We should talk about this. I want you to be a part of my son's life," I said.

Dean turned off the dirt road and onto a field of grass. He drove slowly through the tall weeds and between several clusters of trees before we came upon an old caravan parked between two large trees. It was densely surrounded by nature and the bright red paint that used to color the outside was mostly chipped away. Dean parked behind one of the large trees and left the headlights on. He came out and went around to help me out. Dean lifted me up in his arms and carried me to the door of the caravan. He kicked it with his boot and yelled, "You in there, Miz?"

The door opened and Miz appeared on the other side. He moved to let us inside. There were some old kerosene lamps hanging from the ceiling of the caravan to provide light. I saw a nice bed made up in the far corner of the room. Dean put me down on it and he left to turn off the headlights while Miz helped to get me settled in.

"You're glowing, young lady," Miz told me with a warm smile.

"I feel great! I'm happy that this is happening!" I replied.

"Good! Very good," Miz squeezed my hand.

I glanced around the room and I noticed that the usual case Miz had with his oils and herbs was not easily visible. I asked him curiously, "Do you have anything for me?"

"Not at the moment. It's still early, yet," he replied.

I nodded and Miz asked, "May I place my hands on your belly?"

"Sure," I answered.

Dean came back in and closed the door. He went to the other side of the caravan and searched through a pile of crates for a good one he could sit on. Miz pulled my gown up to expose my stomach and placed his hands gently on either side of my belly button. He leaned down and whispered something in a language I didn't understand, then he closed his eyes and appeared to be listening for a response.

Miz stayed in this state of listening for a long few minutes. I was starting to get worried when he suddenly opened his eyes and told me with a smile, "I think I know what I need, now."

He moved my gown back down and Miz turned around to face Dean. He told him, "I will return, shortly."

Dean nodded and Miz left the caravan. Dean placed a crate down by the bed and sat on it so he could face me at my level. He took my left hand and held it between both of his own. I took the opportunity to ask, "Will you marry me?"

"You know I would," he didn't hesitate.

"But you don't want to be a father?" I asked.

"I'm a freak," Dean answered.

"I would never teach my son to think of you or anyone else as a freak," I told him.

Dean said nothing, so I replied more jokingly, "Except your brother. Kevin is a super freak."

Dean chuckled, but he was still tense. I asked him, "Does this mean you don't want to have any children with me?"

His blue eyes widened like he hadn't considered that as an option. He was still shocked as he asked hoarsely, "You wanna risk that?"

"Risk what?" I asked, confused.

"There's a huge chance my children will have the same condition I do, Liz. I thought you knew that," he answered.

I looked at him and replied, "I didn't know the chances were high, but it wouldn't make any difference to me. I can see what you look like, and I still love you. I would love our children all the same."

"But the rest of the world wouldn't. They would be outcasts, like me," Dean argued.

"You're not an outcast here, with Uncle Trumbly's crew," I pointed out.

"This isn't a place to raise a family," Dean sounded bitter.

I pulled my hand away from his and shouted, "What are you trying to say? That you would marry me, but I can't live with your people and I can't have your children and you can't help me raise mine?"

Dean looked away. He seemed to recognize that he was being unreasonable. I continued to argue my side of things, "I know that you think I'm normal and you're the freak, but have you even stopped to notice that I am, too?"

Dean became confused, so I explained, "I'm a sleepwalker! How many people do you know who understand what that entails, or how to deal with it? My father claims to be second only to Jesus as far as religious attachment goes! I didn't have that many friends at church and I didn't dare have friends outside of the church! It's a miracle Seth ever noticed me at all!"

My eyes filled with tears as I continued, "My father brought me here because he thought I belonged with the freaks. After everything I've been through, I think he was right. My life may not have been as violent or abusive or insane as some of the other Carnies, but when it comes down to it, I'm just as much of a freak as anyone else!"

Dean stood up and paced the room. When he came back to me, he shouted, "Why the hell would you want to be here with me?! I'm a bastard!"

"So is my son!" I argued.

"I'm a masochist! I only fuck when I'm deprived of what I want or in pain!" he countered.

"I've never given you what you want! I don't like to make you feel pain, but I do it accidentally all the time, so my stupidity works really well in your favor!" I shot back.

"I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING WEREWOLF!" Dean yelled at the top of his lungs.

"I DON'T CARE!" I yelled back at him.

I felt something strange in the pit of my stomach. It traveled up to my chest and spread through my shoulders. Dean's eyes widened again and he asked me more calmly, "What's wrong?"

"I...I..." the words wouldn't form.

I clutched my stomach and I felt another strange sensation. It was like my belly was filled with heavy stones and they were trying to roll their way out. I looked at Dean for help.

"I don't...I don't understand," I couldn't explain it.

Dean rushed over and tried to comfort me. He pressed his lips to my ear and whispered, "Just breathe...in and out...breathe..."

I tried to take in a deep breath, but the strange sensation caught me in the middle and I gasped, instead.

"Does it hurt? Are you in pain?" Dean asked me.

It felt more horrifying than painful, but I didn't know how to tell him that. I answered softly, "I don't think my son wants to come out."

"What?" Dean asked.

I heard myself scream, then I sank into a deep state of unconsciousness, where not even my vivid dreams could follow.


	42. Chapter 42

42:

I felt like I was in a haze.

My eyes would open and I would see Miz or Dean by my side. There were conversations going on, but they were overlapped and I couldn't understand what was being said. I thought I was underwater and people were talking around me. I didn't feel much pain.

I didn't feel much of anything at all.

Naomi was by my side at some point. She was squeezing my hand and telling me sweet things, but I couldn't understand what she said. There was a pressure down below. Miz was calling out.

I heard Naomi say, "It's alright, sugar plum. We'll get you set up."

Whenever I closed my eyes, I would dream about Trumbly's mansion being submerged in the ocean. I was standing on a rock far enough away from the house that I couldn't help those who were trapped inside. There was a nasty rainstorm that made the waves swirl around the mansion. Seawater crashed through the windows and all the important things like people's beds and photographs were washed out.

I tried to scream for help, but no one could hear me. I wanted to step into the water and swim my way to the mansion, but I knew I wouldn't make it. I had to just stand there and watch it get destroyed.

woke up to the sound of a low rumbling.

"What's going on? What..." I tried to sit up.

I was covered in blankets and I had pillows under my head, but the bed I was in before was gone. It had been replaced by the backseat of a car. I could see the world rushing by through the window. My knees were propped up on two other pillows and I could hardly move. I reached down to touch my stomach. It was still plump, but I could tell my baby was gone.

"Don't worry, Liz! Everything is okay!" Seth yelled to me from the driver's seat.

Bayley was in the passenger seat. She looked back at me and asked softly, "Are you comfortable?"

Her face looked strained and her hair was wet and in a ponytail. Strands of her hair were a twisted mess around her wet forehead. I glanced back out the window and realized it was cloudy.

"I'm okay. Where's my baby?" I croaked.

Bayley reached for something in the front and handed a water bottle back to me. I reached up to take it and my hands were shaking. Bayley gasped and asked Seth, "Is she gonna be okay?"

"She'll be fine. We're fine," Seth reassured her.

Bayley looked back at me and explained, "We had to leave the house. It wasn't safe, there. Miz did a C-Section. Your son and daughter are fine."

"What?" I shouted, nearly spilling the water bottle in the process.

"Oh, right," Bayley covered her mouth for a moment, then she took her hand away and continued, "We all thought you had one baby in there. Turns out there was a little girl hiding behind the boy."

Seth shouted over his shoulder, "Isn't that great, Liz? Two for the trimesters of one!"

He was trying to be funny, but I didn't feel like laughing.

"Where are my babies? Where are they, now?" I asked, concerned.

Bayley rushed to explain, "They're with Naomi and Marlyn in another vehicle. There was a problem with your father. He found out you were giving birth and he came to try and get custody of the babies."

"WHAT?!" I was completely caught off-guard.

Seth shouted over his shoulder, "It's a long story, Liz! We'll explain the whole thing, later! For now, everyone is safe! We have Abbey and the babies! Your dad has no idea where we're going!"

"What about the Carnies? Why isn't the house safe?" I asked.

Bayley swallowed hard and tried to explain in a way that wouldn't freak me out, "The police came there looking for you. There were a lot of fights. Some Carnies were arrested. When your father came looking for you, there were more fights. Everyone is okay, except..."

"Except what?" I asked, feeling the tension rise.

"Don't worry, Liz! You need your rest! Everything is fine! Just rest! Seth told me.

Bayley smiled and nodded. I drank the rest of the water bottle and tried to lay back against the pillows on the seat. I closed my eyes and slept some more.

:-:

"...tell her about Dean?"

I heard Bayley and Seth talking, but they were far away and trying to keep their voices quiet. I assumed they were standing outside of the car. I kept my eyes closed so I could listen to what they were saying.

"She doesn't need to know right now. It's not a priority," Seth explained.

"It will be once she's feeling better," Bayley replied.

"By then, he'll be fine. He's probably already out of jail," Seth said.

I was reminded of the fights that Bayley had mentioned, before. Dean would've been the first to defend his people. Maybe he was fighting off my father to defend me. Whatever the case, I didn't like the idea of him being in jail.

"Do you think we should turn back? What if getting out of there only makes things worse for those who were left behind?" Bayley asked.

"We can't think about that, right now. We have to think about getting Liz and our babies to a safe place," Seth answered.

Bayley was quiet for a few seconds. Seth sighed and added, "I've already told you how sorry I am for kissing Liz, before. It was a moment of weakness. She obviously didn't return my feelings. I love you and only you, Bay."

She was still quiet. I heard footsteps moving away from the vehicle, then the sound of a bell ringing and a door closing. I opened my eyes in time to see Bayley open the door and step into the passenger side of the vehicle. She closed the door and wiped tears from her eyes as she stifled her sobs.

"I'm sorry for what happened, too," I said, making Bayley jump.

She turned back to face me and asked, "How much did you hear?"

I answered with a lie, "The part about Seth apologizing."

Bayley's eyes filled up with tears once more as she said weakly, "I just love him so much!"

"He loves you, too! I know it!" I replied.

Bayley sniffed and countered softly, "I don't think he loves me the way Dean loves you."

I wondered why she would think that. She didn't add anything more, so I told her, "Dean and I had a fight when I was in labor. He said he wanted me to forget about him, that he was a freak and I don't want to be with him."

Bayley's eyes widened with surprise as she asked, "Why would he say that?"

"He was worried about raising children with me. He thinks he'll scare them because of the way he looks," I answered.

Bayley considered this and asked, "But wasn't he around kids when he was a kid? Did they get scared of him, then? And what about his shows with Trumbly's Carnival? Don't kids see him all the time at his shows?"

I hadn't thought of that. I nodded and replied, "I don't know what the other kids thought of him when he was little, or what they think of him at his shows."

"Well, I think things will work out if he really wants them to," Bayley said.

"Let's just hope he wants them to," I replied.

There was a moment of silence, then Bayley said, "Seth doesn't want me to tell you because he's worried you'll get too stressed, but Dean was arrested at the mansion and he's in jail in Tennessee."

She made it sound like we were no longer in Tennessee. It was too dark outside for me to figure out where we were, besides a parking lot next to a fast food chain. I asked Bayley quietly, "Was he trying to keep Hefram away from me?"

Bayley nodded, then she told me more, "After you and Dean left the hospital, the doctors and nurses were in a frenzy looking for you. They thought you were still somewhere in the hospital. Charlotte pretended to go into labor as well and they were distracted by her for a while until Marlyn and Trumbly showed up. They told us that Abbey and Hefram were on the way and Hefram was planning to have Trumbly arrested for harrassment and stalking."

I gasped and Bayley continued "Hefram and Abbey showed up at the house. They didn't know you were in labor, yet. Someone from the house called Trumbly at the hospital and we went back to the house to stop Hefram. The police followed us because they thought you were kidnapped from the hospital. Hefram told them he was your father and you weren't kidnapped, but once they told him you were in labor, he said your child was his because you were an unwed single mother and not old enough to make your own decisions."

Bayley looked away for a moment and murmered, "He said it so matter-of-factly. The police had no reason to doubt him."

She seemed troubled by how easily my father passed along a lie. I was confused like her, once. I wasn't, anymore.

"Anyway, Dean was furious. He told your father he was a lying S-O-B and he was about to get his ass handed to him. I don't think Hefram realized Dean was serious until Dean was already on top of him."

I was still too shocked to speak as Bayley glanced out the window behind me. She must've seen Seth coming back, because she spoke more quickly, "Some other Carnies came out from their bedrooms. They thought the police were there to raid the place and more fights broke out. It started raining outside and everybody was a mess once all was said and done. Trumbly managed to tell Seth and I where you were so we could get you away from all the trouble. We got out through the back while all the fighting was happening. We're on our way to our house in Florida, now."

"Will the babies be-" I started, but I stopped when Seth appeared by the car.

He got in the driver's side and handed two brown bags to Bayley. Seth looked back at me and said with a grin, "I'm glad you're awake!"

Bayley pulled a strange looking container with tubes out of one of the bags. She handed it to me and said, "It's a breast pump. It will be painful if you get too full."

Seth uncomfortably cleared his throat while Bayley handed me the bag. She pulled a sandwich out of the second bag and asked, "Are you hungry?"

"I think I just want some water for now," I replied.

She reached down to get another bottle of water while Seth took the sandwich from her. Bayley took another sandwich out of the bag and unwrapped it while she asked me, "Do you need help pumping? I read up on it. I could show you."

Seth almost choked on his sandwich. I pulled out the pump and looked it over as I said, "I guess I might need help. I've never seen one of these, before."

Bayley put her sandwich down and reached back to help me when a ringtone started playing. Seth pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and answered it with, "Everything okay?"

There were only a few words on the other end before Seth hung up. Bayley asked him quickly, "Was it Trumbly?"

"Yeah."

"Are we still okay?"

"Yeah."

Seth turned on the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Bayley told me, "I'll help you pump at our next stop."

I put the pump away and drank the water bottle that Bayley gave me. I was still too tired to sit up and Seth and Bayley had gone quiet. They munched on their food and drank some water, then carried on driving in silence. I wondered how much longer it would take to get to Florida. I wondered how much it would take to bail Dean out of jail. I wondered what my babies looked like and why I didn't know I was having twins.

Most of all, I wondered why the hell my father was trying to claim them.


	43. Chapter 43

43:

When I was about ten-years-old, my father was asked to be the godparent of three children. They were all adopted by a young husband and wife who lived in a simple white house at the end of our block. They were a part of our church, which is why they chose my father.

The wife had dark red hair and a very sweet smile. She was softspoken and kind, but she had some kind of a health problem that caused her to be in a lot of pain. She couldn't have children and I would see her crying a lot behind the church. Her husband was a mechanic and he always wore coveralls, even to church. He walked like one side of his body was heavier than the other. The children they adopted were two boys and a girl. They were much younger than me and I didn't know them, well. I had heard that all three children were very well behaved. The family came to church every Sunday, so I though my father would've jumped at the chance to be godfather to them.

Abbey and I overheard him on the phone one afternoon. He was arguing that he did not want to be godfather. After he hung up, Hefram looked at us both and said, "I can't take on three bastard children! They were not born of that mother and therefore they are not legitimate!"

I didn't know about my history at the time, and that I was just as much a bastard as they were. I remember my father storming upstairs and slamming the door to his room. I looked at Abbey and asked, "What is a bastard?"

She told me it meant, "People who got lost from their mommies and daddies."

The idea terrified me. I stayed close to Abbey for years, thinking that I would become a bastard as well if I lost sight of her. Later on, I assumed my father turned the family down because he didn't like the idea of having to raise more children should something happen. I had no idea that he was probably more angry because their situation mirrored his, and he never wanted me to know that his brother's wife, Marlyn, was my biological mother.

"My father actually said that? Adoption?" I was still confused.

Bayley was trying to help me with the breast pump. We were stopped at a gas station about an hour from their house. The Florida heat was high and the humidity was much thicker than Tennessee. I wasn't used to it and I kept sweating through my clothes.

Bayley was also trying to check my C-section scar for signs of infection while I attempted to pump. Seth was in the gas station taking his dear sweet time. He seemed completely horrified by the pump itself and he bolted out of the car as soon as Bayley mentioned it. She was being so helpful that I felt bad putting her in the position of having to be my nanny and potential bodyguard against my father.

"That's what he said. I don't think anyone took him seriously, at first. Trumbly started laughing," Bayley informed me.

I chuckled as well, which made Bayley jump as she was trying to check my scar. I apologized and she sat back away from me, mentioning, "I think it looks good!"

She smiled and I asked, "Do you know how many Carnies were arrested?"

Bayley shook her head and replied, "Marlyn and Naomi probably know more than I do. They were going to ride with your babies, but they said there would be some cars following us with other Carnies in them. I think Marlyn mentioned a guy named Roman."

"Oh," I said out loud.

"What's wrong? Is the pump hurting you?" Bayley reached for it.

"No. I mean, it's fine. I was thinking about Roman," I said.

"Is he a bad guy?" Bayley made a scrunched up face.

I shook my head and replied, "No, he's just...I got into trouble one day with Uncle Trumbly. I was out talking to some Carnies and they let me test one of the rides. Trumbly got really mad because he said it was dangerous. He made me go back to my room and told Roman to stand guard and make sure I didn't try anything else."

"Oh," Bayley mirrored my earlier statement.

"Yeah, I mean, I don't think he's mean or anything, but I don't know him all that well. He didn't yell at me or anything when he was standing guard. I saw him one other time with his girlfriend, Paige..."

I rememberd that the two were having epic sex last time I saw them and I blushed crimson.

"Oh, my," Bayley covered her mouth and blushed as well, understanding the situation without me having to talk about it.

"Anyway, he should probably be fine. In fact, Roman would be best if Hefram was around. He's not the kind of guy that my father would want to start a fight with," I added quickly.

Bayley took her hand away and said, "I really hope you're comfortable at our house. You and your friends. We have a nice place. I mean, it's my parent's place, technically, but it has a lot of rooms and it's all updated and stuff."

"I'm sure it will be fine. I just hope that you don't mind all of us dropping in," I told her.

Bayley didn't respond, but reached for the breast pump as she said, "I think you're all done!"

"Thanks for doing this for me. I don't know why I didn't read up on any of this stuff," I replied.

Bayley smiled and said, "You had a lot going on! Besides, this is practice for me."

"Are you pregnant?!" I asked excitedly.

"Not yet, but I'm hoping to be very soon," Bayley grinned.

:-:

Seth came back to the car with his arms full of snacks. Bayley teased him for buying so much when they were just an hour from home. I sat in the back seat and let the sun warm my face while I listened to them talking about Seth going back to college and Bayley taking a job as an assistant manager at the company she worked for. It all sounded very normal and I had to remind myself of how messed up things really were at the moment.

We pulled off on a dirt road at one point and it seemed like the car sank into a thicket of trees. These were not the kind of trees I was used to. They had long branches with fluffy leaves that reached all the way down to the ground. The trees were so tall that I could barely see the tops of them even when I looked way up. Seth called it the, "Swamplands," which sounded silly to me because I couldn't see a swamp, just a bunch of random pockets of water everywhere.

Seth continued down the dirt road and straight into a driveway. I looked up at the house and it was much bigger than I thought it would be. The house showed signs it had been there a long time, like the old mailbox and a rusty iron fence, but it had been remodeled and there was a large section made up of windows. There was also a covered outdoor pool, which I thought was silly to have in a swampland.

Bayley and Seth helped me out of the car. I told Seth, "I could grab something," but he quickly replied, "There's no need. I'll get your stuff."

I suddenly realized that I hadn't packed anything. Whatever I had was probably just the stuff he and Bayley bought for me. Bayley took me by the arm and led me up to the house. She started talking quickly about how it had security and something about it being, "Kind of protected from the gators but a little one ends up in the pool once in a while," while going on about how, "Cool it is inside even though it's so hot outside."

She mentioned something about great air conditioning. I didn't have that in Uncle Trumbly's house, so I was happy to hear about it. Bayley led me inside and took me straight upstairs to a room at the end of the hall. She told me it would be for me and the babies. The room was gigantic and came with its own bathroom. Bayley showed me the other rooms and talked about keeping Sheamus and Sami in the bedroom next to mine. She also added that Dean could stay with me. I wondered how many Carnies were actually going to be joining us.

The more she showed me, the more in awe I was. This house was a whole flight of stairs up from anything I'd ever lived in, before. A part of me felt guilty for thinking that Uncle Trumbly's mansion was more like a shack compared to this place, but it was the truth. Bayley's parents obviously had money. They also really liked the color white and glass, because everything was made of glass or painted bright white. It was so clean that I felt embarrassed to be stepping on the bright white carpet and putting my fingerprints on the glass refrigerator door. Bayley showed me the pool out back and said, "It gets so hot around here that it's nice to have some clean water to dip into."

I saw Seth bringing in some suitcases and we quickly passed him. I assumed the suitcases were his and Bayley's stuff. Bayley pulled me away from Seth to show me the downstairs rooms. There were several smaller rooms and two more bathrooms on the main floor. She also opened the door to show me the basement, but she said it wasn't finished and it smelled so she didn't take me down there.

"Seth, we should get the crib set up for the babies!" Bayley yelled when we came back to him.

He looked tired and sweaty. I felt bad that Seth was doing all the work while us girls were walking around and chatting away. I asked him, "Do you need help?"

"I'm fine. I think Roman should be here any minute. I told him where to pull off and he said he wasn't that far behind us," Seth checked his phone for messages while he spoke.

Bayley turned to me and asked, "So, um...are you hungry or tired or do you need anything? I can get you a change of clothes, or-"

"We bought you some clothes. We didn't have time to pack anything of yours. I'm sorry," Seth interrupted.

"Oh. That's okay, I understand," I nodded my head.

Bayley was quiet for a second longer, then she took my arm and said cheerily, "I picked out a few clothes based on what I've seen you wearing. I also got you some special bras that unhook from the front so you can breastfeed-"

Seth practically ran out the door. I decided that he must have pre-existing trauma based on breast milk and breast feeding because he sure ran fast when the subject came up.

"Hey, you made it!" Seth sounded upbeat.

Bayley led me outside to the circular driveway. I saw a beat up old blue truck and a big Samoan guy at the wheel. I knew he was Roman, but he had a blonde in the passenger seat and my heart caught in my throat.

 _Charlotte_.

The truck made a loud groan as Charlotte kicked her door open and started getting out. Seth was momentarily stunned by her and he nearly missed the opportunity to be a gentleman. Charlotte came down just at the edge of the paved driveway and into a plot of mud. Seth rushed over to help her but she swatted him away. Roman got out on the other side and walked over to Bayley. He reached out to take her hand and she let him. He shook her hand and said, "Thank you for letting me stay here, Missus Rollins."

"Bayley, please," she glowed.

He nodded back to her and Roman glanced over at me. He warned me ahead of time, "Charlotte's pissed."

"I think that's just her face," I replied, to which Roman laughed out loud.

He had a booming laugh that made Bayley jump and giggle. Seth must've heard his woman's humorous cry by another man, because he abandoned Charlotte to come over to us and ask, "So, what's going on?"

Roman turned to face him and said, "Marlyn and Naomi'll be here with the babies in a few. No one else is on the way, yet."

"No one? They didn't all get arrested, did they?" I blurted.

Charlotte came from around Roman and yelled, "No, Elizabeth! Not all of them were arrested! Some were just put in the hospital because of police brutality! Those assholes! Ingrates! Think they're better than us!"

She sounded like a woman trying to inspire an army with her battle cry. She nearly hit Seth in the face twice before she stopped waving her arms around. Bayley tried to remain polite, saying, "I have a room for you, Charlotte-"

"No, I'm staying with Liz!" Charlotte stated.

"But...she'll have the babies..." Bayley tried to reason with her.

Charlotte looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Liz knows I'm a midwife! She knows I can help! Right, Liz?!"

I knew I couldn't turn her down or I would face more of her wrath. I nodded and said, "It's fine if Charlotte stays with me."

"Roman is staying with us, too! I don't trust you happy little dipshits!" Charlotte gestured at Seth and Bayley like they were people to avoid.

"No, I don't think so," Seth started to argue.

Charlotte glared at him so venomously that he shut up. Charlotte moved past Bayley and into the house. Seth tried to regain his composure as he asked Roman, "Do you need help bringing stuff in?"

"We didn't bring anything," Roman answered.

He followed after Charlotte and Bayley looked at Seth. They exchanged uncomfortable expressions. I knew that they were thinking about how they would have to accommodate Charlotte and Roman in addition to me, my babies, Marlyn, Naomi and anyone else who chose to show up. There wasn't enough time for people to grab their stuff before leaving, which meant they would all be arriving with the clothes on their backs and no money to cover anything else.

"I'll make sure you don't have to pay for everything. I'll talk to Uncle Trumbly," I tried to reassure them.

"It's no problem," Seth forced a smile, then he asked with a bit more concern, "Are you okay with Roman in your room? I could set up a spare bed for him."

"That bed is really big. I'm sure all three of us can fit on it. I don't want to make you do any more than you're already doing," I told him.

Seth frowned like he didn't approve of the idea. I explained it a little better, "I'll sleep next to Charlotte and she can sleep next to Roman."

I didn't want to tell Seth that I didn't know Roman that well, because I knew that would bring about more judgment. I really just wanted to made as little a fuss as possible. I didn't know if that was possible with Charlotte around.

Bayley turned to Seth and asked, "Are you sure there's no one else?"

"I'll talk to Roman some more," Seth answered.

A red SUV pulled up and I could see Marlyn driving. Naomi filled up the middle seats and I knew my babies would be in the back. I rushed over to the back window so I could sneak a peak.

There they were. A boy and a girl who looked a little like me and a little like Seth. They were asleep and didn't notice me, but I couldn't take my eyes away from them.

Marlyn stepped out and told me, "I'm sorry it took us so long to meet up, Elizabeth. We meant for you to see your babies right away, but it just wasn't safe."

"It's okay, I understand," I told her.

Tears filled my eyes as I wrapped my arms around Marlyn and said, "I'm so glad you could be here, Mommy."

"I am, too, Baby. I am, too," she huggeed me back.


	44. Chapter 44

44:

"Are you sure you're alright, Liz?" Marlyn asked me that evening.

Charlotte and Roman had already taken their respective places on the bed. Roman was on top of the covers on the right side and he fell asleep immediately. He was snoring lightly and seemed dead to the world. Charlotte was in the middle. She was reading a beat up novel with the covers pulled up to her chin. I was sure she was naked under there, but I didn't want to say something and start a fight.

My babies were sleeping in two separate cribs against the far wall. Seth and Roman had spent the day setting up the cribs and a diaper changing station for them. I had settled with naming my boy Colby Dean and my girl Abbey Marlyn. Seth approved of the names, though he said that Colby was a family name on his side and Dean actually sounded better as a first name. I told him that Dean Colby sounded like a type of cheese and if we wanted to, we could call him Dean. Seth agreed.

"I'll be fine," I nodded.

Marlyn and I were in the doorway and she glanced back at Charlotte and Roman. Marlyn leaned in and whispered, "I could ask Roman to take another room."

"He doesn't seem to be a problem," I shrugged.

"Yes, but...you'll be feeding your babies during the night..." Marlyn reminded me.

I hadn't really thought about that. I nodded and told her, "Bayley had me pumping all day so I should have enough to get through the night. I could always face away from him for privacy. He seems to be a heavy sleeper, anyway."

"Well, if he makes you uncomfortable, just tell him to take another room. Roman's not a grudge-holder. He'll do as you ask without complaints," Marlyn informed me.

"To be honest, I'm more worried about Charlotte. She's a little unpredictable," I tried to put it nicely.

Marlyn smiled knowingly and replied, "If she's on your nerves, you let me know. I will get her elsewhere without putting you in the crossfire."

"Thank you, Mommy," I smiled.

She hugged me and said, "Naomi and I are just a few steps away. You can ask for help if you need it."

Marlyn pointed to the door on my left. I nodded and Marlyn went through the door to her room. I closed the door to mine and went to the bathroom. I closed the bathroom door and turned on the shower. What I really wanted to do was have some time alone to cry.

There was a lot to get done once my babies arrived, so there wasn't much time to talk to Marlyn and Naomi about what happened back at the house in Tennessee. They didn't seem to know as much as I'd hoped. There was a lot of chaos and confusion. It sounded like many Carnies were beaten or arrested. Marlyn informed me that my father may have been arrested but probably wasn't still in jail. Marlyn didn't know where Abbey was and she was fairly certain that Uncle Trumbly would be campaigning to get his people out so long as he wasn't arrested, himself.

"He hasn't called to let me know he's on the way," Marlyn told me.

I knew Uncle Trumbly would stand by his friends no matter what. It sounded like it might be weeks or even months before I saw Dean, again. I was upset that Dean wasn't there when I named the babies. I had told him those were the names I was going with whether it was a boy or a girl, so he knew what the names were going to be, but I still wanted him to be there to know for sure.

There was a part of me that felt guilty for all the trouble that had happened so far. It seemed like the Carnies were living a relatively peaceful existence until I showed up. They were safe from outsiders and they had schedules to keep. Dean may have continued to live in relative isolation without me, but he seemed to get along fine by himself and I wasn't sure I actually put a dent in the armor he always had on.

It was ironic to me that my father was the main source of drama in a house full of Carnies. The whole reason Hefram had sent me to live with Uncle Trumbly was to keep me from causing drama because being pregnant out of wedlock was too much for my father to take. When I really thought about it, I wasn't sure exactly what my father was thinking. Did he believe that living in a house of Carnies would settle me down? Did he think they were a bunch of freaks and I would decide to go down the righteous path because I would be so traumatized by encountering them? Did he not understand that my biological mother, Marlyn, would be there to tell me what really happened between her and my father? Did he think I would just pop out a baby and come home like nothing happened?

My father's logic was beyond my realm of reasoning. The only thing he had made very clear to me was that he thought living with Uncle Trumbly was a kind of punishment. He never really said how long I was to endure this punishment, though my initial thought was that he didn't want to see me or my baby, again. After learning about his most recent actions, I began to wonder if my father had underestimated my ability to adapt to the situation. He probably thought I was so unlikeable that I would be universally rejected by the Carnies and I would be begging to come home in no time. I was beginning to understand that my father frequently acted as though he wanted me completely gone, but he made many attempts to keep me from getting away, sometimes at the detriment to his own character.

Hefram was harshly judgmental of others, but it enraged him when others judged him for any reason. I thought this overwhelming desire to be perfect meant that he wouldn't dare cross any lines with Uncle Trumbly and the Carnies because he couldn't stand the thought of being judged by people he considered to be at the bottom. I began to wonder if I had underestimated my father's need to keep me under control.

No matter what the outcome was, I knew that my father would certainly blame me for all that's happened. I was the mistake he made with Marlyn, the child he raised but never wanted, the girl who would amount to nothing because she wasn't a boy, the teenager who got pregnant before marriage and to a boy my father didn't approve of. I was the young woman who was sent away as punishment and fell in love with another boy who was everything my father hated. The only thing my father wanted from me were my two babies. Maybe he thought his grandchildren would turn out differently than his very own awfully disappointing daughter.

There were times when Hefram was really angry with me, so angry that he couldn't look at me or talk to me for a while. I used to imagine what it would be like to come home and have him hug me and ask me about my day at school like other fathers did. I imagined what I would need to do to meet his expectations. How could I perfect myself? What would that require? No matter how hard I tried to imagine it, I could never quite fit myself into the mold that he had made for me.

I wasn't trying to be a rebel. I wasn't trying to disobey him and get myself into trouble. In fact, I was always trying to avoid a fight and keep the peace. It never crossed my mind that I should just forget about trying to be good and do whatever the hell I pleased. I wasn't that kind of person. Hefram's idea of me was an impossible one. I wasn't the horrible child he thought I was, but I would never be what he wanted. He was playing a game and I was trying to win it, but it wasn't designed to be won.

"Liz? Are you okay in there?" Charlotte asked through the door.

I realized I had been in the shower for a while. I was thinking so much that I didn't really get a chance to cry. I turned the water off and stepped out, calling back to Charlotte, "I'm fine!"

I quickly dried off and wrapped a towel around my hair. I thought Charlotte would start arguing with me, but she didn't. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My face looked puffy and my eyes were tired. My stomach looked like I was trying to hide a slightly deflated basketball. My C-section scar was healing nicely. I had covered it with waterproof tape to keep it safe. I took the tape off and cleaned it up really well with supplies Bayley had left for me on the sink.

There was some beard oil on the sink next to my supplies. I didn't know if it belonged to Roman or Charlotte. It was then that I realized that Charlotte didn't have much of a beard when she first arrived. I assumed she must've shaved it down to avoid standing out. I felt bad that the bathroom supplies were mostly meant for me. Roman and Charlotte had a couple of toothbrushes and toothpaste, a comb and brush and some beard oil to their name.

I was wrapped in a towel when I came out of the bathroom. Charlotte was standing there naked with a nightgown in her hands. She handed it to me and said, "I've been waiting so long my legs are falling asleep."

"Sorry," I said, taking the nightgown from her.

Charlotte passed me by and went into the bathroom. She closed the door quietly so as not to wake the babies. I could still hear Roman snoring quietly, but I still opened the closet door so I could change behind it. The nightgown was made with a flap in the front that I could unbutton to feed the babies should I need it. I heard the toilet flush and Charlotte came back out of the bathroom. She got into bed and took her place back in the middle.

I took the towel off my hair and climbed into bed next to her. Charlotte kicked her feet at mine and said, "Your toes are cold!"

"Sorry," I didn't know how to fix that.

"You mind if Roman and I fuck?" Charlotte asked.

"Um...right now?" I was confused.

I thought Roman was with Paige and Charlotte was with Kevin, but I remembered that several of the Carnies I'd met didn't have such a rigid system when it came to pairing up. Charlotte scoffed and replied as if I should know better, "He's obviously asleep right now, Liz."

"Right, but..." I started.

Charlotted finished with, "He constantly flirts with me. You've seen that look in his eyes. We'll be quiet so we don't wake the babies."

Charlotte chewed on one of her nails as she said this, having no idea that it might be more uncomfortable for me to be lying in the same bed while she and Roman got it on. As for Roman's flirtations and looks, I had no idea what Charlotte was talking about. Roman basically looked slightly bored all the time. He hadn't said more than three sentences to Charlotte the entire day. The only time he smiled at all was around Bayley.

My lack of a response upset Charlotte. She rolled over to face away from me and huffed, "Whatever! I'll suck him off when you're not around!"

"Why do you have to say such weird things like that to me?" I didn't mean to say it aloud and I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth.

Charlotte sat up and kicked off the blankets so hard that she woke Roman up. He cleared his throat and looked around with bleary eyes while Charlotte rolled over the top of me to get out of bed. She stormed out and almost slammed the door, but she stopped just short and closed the door quietly for the sake of the babies.

"Where's she off to?" Roman asked, wiping his left eyelid with his fingertips.

"I said the wrong thing, again," I answered.

Roman grunted and replied, "I don't know what the right thing is to say. Char's always on a short fuse."

He laid back in bed and I did the same. After a few moments of quiet where I could hear Roman breathing deeply, he asked, "Bayley's your friend, right?"

"Sure, we're friends," I answered.

"You think I could take her out, tomorrow?" Roman asked.

I tried to explain it as nicely as possible, "Bayley and Seth are trying to have a baby. I think they're pretty exclusive."

"He could come, too. He's slim but built nice, like a swimmer or a runner," Roman replied.

I wasn't really sure what to say. Roman seemed to have no idea why asking a married couple to go out with him might make our current living situation even more uncomfortable. Not to mention that Charlotte would explode once she found out that Roman was more interested in Bayley.

I turned to look at Roman and asked, "Is it normal for Carnies to...explore different relationships so much?"

"What do you mean?" Roman sounded confused.

"I mean...I thought that...let's just say that in the town where I grew up, you pretty much find one person and stay with that one person. If you break up with that one person, you can find another person, but only if you're broken up. It's kind of frowned upon when you're with one person and you decide to hang out with another person when you're still with that one person."

"Do you mean hanging out or fucking?" Roman put it bluntly.

"I mean the second one," I said.

Roman pondered a moment before answering, "Carnies don't cheat on each other. You'll get your ass beat for doing shit like that. No, we have an honor system. If I want to take a woman to bed, I tell her what I want to do to her and ask her to come with me. If she says no, that means no. Same with guys. If there's no interest, you cut and dry."

"I can understand that, it's just that...people who are not Carnies might be a little less outgoing when it comes to sex," I explained.

"How do you know they're not interested if you don't ask?" Roman stated.

"That's a good point," I replied.

Roman sniffed and said, "I apologize. Seth is the father of your babies. I crossed a line asking you about him and his lady."

"It's not that, I...well, I was going to say that Seth might get jealous, but I honestly don't know what he would do if you asked, so I guess you should just ask and find out," I said.

"That Bayley is cute, though," Roman told me.

"Yes, she really is," I agreed.

"You want her?" Roman asked.

"I haven't thought about her that way," I shrugged.

"You should ask. You won't know until you ask," Roman said.

"I guess so," I replied, but I wasn't planning on it.

:-:

I woke up a few times during the night to tend to the babies.

Marlyn would hear them and she came in to help me. Charlotte never came back and I assumed she was sleeping in one of the other rooms. Roman got up a couple of times to rock the babies back to sleep. They seemed to like his hulking Samoan frame and they didn't cry much with him. Roman was also rather skilled at changing diapers, something unexpected but very helpful.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Bayley yelling, "You can't do that!"

I checked the room. Roman was gone and the babies were not in their cribs. I went to the bathroom and found a robe to put on. I ran out to the kitchen and found Marlyn rocking baby Abbey in her arms by the kitchen sink. Roman had Colby Dean and he was sitting at the table across from the kitchen. Bayley was standing near Marlyn and yelling with her arms out. I glanced at the hallway where Bayley was looking and I saw Charlotte standing there without any clothes on eating a piece of toast.

"Did you hear me? Put some damn clothes on!" Bayley's tone was harsher than usual as she glared at Charlotte.

"Why? You think your hubby can't handle a little skin?" Charlotte countered.

Bayley glanced back at me and gave me a look that said without words, _"Do something!"_

I walked over to Charlotte and said, "Would you like to pick out a dress? I wanted the yellow one, but I didn't know which one you wanted."

I knew Charlotte wouldn't hesitate to take the yellow one because I said I wanted it. She looked at Bayley and stuffed the rest of the toast in her mouth in a big wad. Charlotte was crunching loudly and talking with her mouth full as she sauntered down the hall back to our room. I gave Bayley an apologetic look. Marlyn put her hand on Bayley's shoulder and whispered something like, "I'll talk to her."

I didn't see Seth at all and I wasn't sure if he had witnessed Charlotte's exposure to the masses. Once we were back in the bedroom, I closed the door and told Charlotte, "You do understand that there are different rules in this house, don't you?!"

Charlotte was rifling through the closet as she argued with me, "Rules?! No one told me any rules!"

"I'll have Bayley write some up so everyone knows what to expect!" I stated.

I was trying to stay calm, but Charlotte was quickly becoming a knife in my side. I didn't know it was possible for her to show even less respect than before, but she had managed it. Marlyn and Naomi had no trouble adapting to the normal lifestyle of civilians. Roman was still a little rusty when it came to understanding sexual boundaries, but he was trying to help out and he seemed to know how to act. I knew that Charlotte had a basic understanding of the real world. She went to the movies in town and she was at the hospital with me. All I could think was that she was pushing back on purpose just to cause trouble.

Charlotte continued to argue, "You act like one of them, you know? Those little fruit-topped cupcakes with pasted smiles pretending everything's okay! I hate it! I hate conformity! I hate this fucking prudish lifestyle! I like walking around naked! I'm not hurting anybody! There are no children around! Why can't I?!"

I shot back at her, "We are guests in this house! That means we do what the owners say! It's not that hard to put on some clothes! Besides, if you hate conformity so much, why did you shave off your beard?!"

For a moment, Charlotte faltered. I saw a glimpse of a side of her I had never seen, before. It was vulnerable and fragile and devastated and horrified. I saw her as an underdeveloped child, then. Her usual arrogance was completely gone. She was upset and confused in a foreign place, arguing with someone who didn't understand her. She was expressing too many emotions at once.

The moment passed and Charlotte went from an exposed child to an enraged woman with wild eyes. She screamed at me, "Why did you bring that up?! Why did you bring that up?!"

Charlotte launched into a tirade of hateful words, "You're a stupid, filthy bitch! I don't know what Dean ever saw in you! He made the wrong choice, wanting to follow you! You don't know anything about our way of life! You don't know what it's like to have men want to fuck you from behind so they don't have to see the hair on your face! People like to ask me if I used to be a man just to see my reaction! You know what that's like?! To have people grab your crotch thinking you have a big cock down there, only to squeeze harder when they find out you don't?!"

She was screaming so loud that I had to cover my ears. The babies started crying from the kitchen and Charlotte quickly backed off. I could hear someone coming down the hallway. Charlotte grabbed the yellow dress from the closet and ran into the bathroom. She slammed the door and locked it.

Marlyn came in and asked, "What's going on in here?"

"Nothing, everything's fine. Charlotte really needs some clothes. We should take her shopping," I answered.

Marlyn didn't seem to believe my story, but she nodded anyway and replied, "We'll calm down the babies. You should get dressed."

"Have you heard anything from Uncle Trumbly?" I asked.

Marlyn shook her head and replied, "I'm sure he'll call as soon as he can."

She closed the door and left me alone. I took a blue dress from the closet and put it on. I could hear Charlotte sobbing in the bathroom as I quietly left the room.


	45. Chapter 45

45:

"How many times have I told you not to mess with the gators?!"

Bayley swatted at Roman's arm to let him know she meant business. He stared at her like she was some kind of a crazy lady. Charlotte reached for the tail of the small alligator trying to slide its way into the pool and told Roman, "Get the head!"

"No! No, no, no, no, no! We are not eating that thing!" Bayley insisted.

I was watching the three of them from the kitchen windows. Seth was sipping coffee while he watched beside me, but he didn't say a word. He was giving me his own personal form of the silent treatment, where he would say nothing until he felt something needed to be said, which usually ended up being something passive aggressive or a bad example of a cut-down.

The reason Seth was so mad at me was actually a good one: More of the Carnies had arrived.

I counted at least twelve, but there were probably more. They were not the ones like Roman and Charlotte. They were the ones that Dean used to swat away when they tried to take food from my plate. They were smaller and unwashed. Despite the intense heat and humidity of Florida, they were dressed in several layers of clothes. I couldn't tell the females from the males. They arrived over the last two nights, settling in the two largest rooms they could find.

They didn't talk to anyone except for Marlyn. She and Naomi were bringing them food and drinks. There were so many of them that the food supply was quickly running low. Some of them had gotten into my closet and taken a few of the clothes Bayley bought for me. Seth was trying to find a way to get them their own clothes, but Marlyn insisted that they only needed food.

The bathroom facilities had become a nightmare. Carnies were using it most of the time. Seth and Bayley had their own bathroom and there was one in my bedroom reserved for Charlotte, Roman and I. The other four bathrooms in the house were free game.

"I'm really sorry, Seth. I will help clean the bathrooms," I told him.

"Are you going to help my wife not to fall in the pool with an alligator?" Seth motioned outside.

I looked just in time to see Bayley stumbling in an attempt to stop Roman from putting his hands over the alligator's mouth. Charlotte was still holding its tail. They were dragging it away from the pool and Roman had a big knife tied to his jeans. Bayley lost her balance and fell into the water.

"You should go save her," I told Seth.

"She'll just call me an idiot and pull me down with her," Seth replied.

"I'm sorry I sabotaged your marriage," I said.

"Well, I'm sure you have your reasons," Seth joked dryly.

I rolled my eyes and turned away, telling him, "I don't want to watch Roman kill the alligator."

"Maybe it'll kill him, first," Seth was trying to sound like he didn't care about Roman's welfare but it ended up sounding more like he was nervous it could really happen.

I went back to my room and closed the door. The babies were with Marlyn and Naomi, so I had a moment to myself. I was grateful for the air conditioning in the house, though a smell had started to come up since the Nomad Carnies had arrived.

I took out my cell phone and tried to call the jail in Tennessee. I had been trying for two days to talk to Dean, but the people answering my calls would give me dumb excuses like he was being moved to another cell or he was at lunch.

An older woman answered my call this time, asking in a husky voice, "Who would you like to speak with?"

"Dean Ambrose, please," I answered.

"Just a moment," she said, sounding bored.

I waited for what felt like a long time. My heart starting beating faster as I prepared myself for her to give me yet another excuse why I couldn't talk to him.

"You still there?" the woman asked.

"Yes," I replied.

She sighed into the phone like she was hoping I had hung up. I opened my mouth to argue with her when she stated, "Dean Ambrose has been released."

"What?!" I shrieked.

I couldn't believe it. I was sure I had misheard her. She repeated, "He made bail," and hung up on me.

I sat there for a few minutes. I didn't know I was crying until my nose started dripping. I couldn't believe it. He was out. He was free. He was headed my way.

"Seth! Seth!" I called out to him.

I got up and rushed out of the room. I went down the hallway and called for Seth along the way. He wasn't in the kitchen like before. I saw Bayley, Roman and Charlotte still outside by the pool, but Seth was gone.

He was probably headed out to get more food. I ran out the front door and caught him just before he was about to pull out of the driveway. He rolled down the window and asked, "Did you forget something?"

"Dean is out! He's out! He's on his way!" I told him.

"You talked to him?" Seth looked confused.

"I talked to someone at the jail where he was being kept! She said he made bail!" I told him.

Seth still looked confused. I ran to the passenger side and got into his SUV. He pulled out of the driveway and headed to the local grocery store as he asked, "Who told you this?"

"A woman at the jail. She didn't give me her name," I said.

"Did she say when he got out? Like, should we expect him today?" he asked.

"I don't know. She didn't tell me that," I answered.

"Well, what do you know, Liz?!" Seth sounded agitated.

I was surprised by his tone. He was mad at me about the Nomad Carnies, but I thought he would be happy to hear Dean was okay.

"I know he's out and I'm sure he's on the way!" I argued.

Seth pulled over and told me, "You should go back to the house and wait for him, then."

"No, I want to go shopping with you!" I told him.

He sighed and started back on the road. He didn't seem to be in a talking mood, so I watched the scenery out the window until we reached the grocery store. Seth got out and opened the trunk. He handed me a bunch of bags and said, "They'll fill these up for us."

"Don't we need to get the stuff, first?" I asked.

"I ordered ahead. They'll come to us," Seth said.

I had no idea what he was talking about, but I waited by the SUV while Seth went inside. He came back out moments later with employees pushing several carts of food and drinks. It took them all nearly half an hour to load everything up.

Seth got back in the car and I did as well. I asked him as we pulled away, "How did you do that?"

"It's very easy. I just pulled up each item online and where it says quantity of one, I added two zeroes," Seth informed me.

"I really appreciate all you're doing for us. Carnies are loyal. They'll find a way to pay you back for everything," I said.

"I'm not worried about the money, Liz. I'm worried about your father trying to take our babies away," Seth told me.

"I'm sure that won't happen. He doesn't know where we are. Besides, he never wanted any kids. I would testify to anyone who will listen that he's not a good father," I explained.

Seth was quiet for a moment, then he said somberly, "I'm sorry you had that asshole for a father."

"I'm sorry, too," I replied.

"He's not right, you know? He thinks you're a bad child and you did all the wrong things, but he's not right about any of it. You're a good person, Liz. You've helped all these Carny folks when they didn't have anywhere else to go."

"I think you and Bayley did that," I reminded him.

"We did it because of you, because we knew they were important to you. They're like your family," Seth said.

"I don't know if they think of me that way," I replied.

"What do you mean?" Seth asked curiously.

"There have been some outspoken members who don't believe I'm one of them. I'm still an outsider in many ways," I told him.

"I don't see it. You fit in with them so well. When I came to the house for the first time, it felt like I was coming to visit you and your family, like you were always there," Seth replied.

"I think I have more in common with them than I do with Hefram and Abbey," I said.

"That's what I see. If they can't see that, they're missing out," Seth replied.

We pulled into the driveway and I looked for a new vehicle, but I didn't see one. I helped Seth take some groceries inside as he asked, "Do you know if Sheamus is out, too?"

"I'm not sure. I'm kind of worried about Kevin getting out," I said.

"Why's that?" Seth asked.

"Because Charlotte will want to have sex with him all over the house," I groaned, making Seth stumble on the front steps.

:-:

I waited for Dean all day, but he didn't arrive. I asked Seth not to tell the others he was coming because I thought Charlotte might get weird, again. After her blow up three days earlier, she started spending more time doing projects with Roman and keeping her distance from me. The only time we were close was at night, when she slept next to me in bed.

She and Roman had made a feast out of the alligator they caught that morning. Despite Bayley's objections, they cleaned it, cooked it and served it. I went to bed early so I could get some rest before the babies needed me. I woke up to them crying and I felt Charlotte's elbow in my back.

"Ow," I whispered, moving away from her.

I sat up and let my eyes adjust for a moment. I wandered over to my babies and turned on the light beside their cribs. I reached for Abbey Marlyn and picked her up. Roman came up beside me and took Colby Dean.

We wandered out to the kitchen to get some breast milk from the fridge. Roman opened it and took the milk out while I turned on the oven. Marlyn came out from her room to take Colby Dean from Roman while I sat down at the kitchen table with Abbey Marlyn. I talked to her and rocked her in my arms until the milk was ready.

I fed Abbey Marlyn while Marlyn fed Colby Dean. We had the feeding schedule down to a science at this point. Those involved didn't need to exchange words. Once we were done, Roman took Colby Dean and I took Abbey Marlyn back to their cribs. Marlyn went back to bed.

"I think I'll stay up for a while and make sure they fall asleep," I told Roman.

He nodded and went back to bed. He was snoring within a few minutes.

I watched my babies until they fell asleep. I sat in the rocking chair nearby and rocked for a while. I didn't feel very tired and I knew the babies would want me up in a short time, anyway.

I got up and wandered back to the kitchen. I noticed that the door to the fridge was open.

Roman had closed it before we left the kitchen. I was sure of it.

I went over to check. Before I got too close, the door closed and one of the Nomad Carnies scurried off with a load of food.

At least they were leaving the breast milk.

I made my way to the front door and wandered outside. There were still a lot of vehicles in the driveway. I felt stupid for not asking the woman from the jail when Dean was released. It would've at least given me an idea about how much longer it would be until he arrived.

I wandered around the driveway for a while. There were a lot of strange noises that I wasn't used to in the Florida darkness. There were also more bugs. After a few of them flew in my face, I decided it was best to get back in the house.

"Luz?" I heard a familiar voice say from nearby.

I turned around to face Sheamus coming up the driveway. He was being followed by Sami, Kevin, Bray, Tamina, Paige, Miz and Uncle Trumbly.

Sheamus held his arms out and I gave him a hug. I hugged the others as they came forward. I saved Uncle Trumbly for last, asking him when we broke away, "Where's Dean?"

"He's on his way," Uncle Trumbly looked over his shoulder.

I looked past him, but I didn't see anything. It was black.

"Elizabeth?"

My eyes fluttered open. I didn't know where I was, but the slight breeze told me I was outside. It was very dark and I struggled to see anything.

"Hello?" I asked.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to face Dean.

He was holding a flashlight and he still had the same gruff expression as always. He stated with a sense of aggravation, "Still sleepwalking, I see."

"I was searching for _you_!" I threw my arms around him.

I saw Sheamus and Sami behind him. They came over to give me a hug, as well. I asked Sami when we broke away, "When did you arrive?"

"We came by train. We just got here," Sami replied.

"What about Hefram?" I asked.

"He's not following us," Dean answered.

"Haw's it inside?" Sheamus gestured back at the house with his thumb.

"It's...interesting," I replied.

He made a curious expression and I explained, "The Nomad Carnies are here. They're eating all the food."

I heard a strange noise and Merlin the zebra stepped out from the darkness. I went over to give him a hug as I asked, "How'd you get him here?"

"The train," Sami replied.

"What about the other animals?" I asked curiously.

"They're bein' tended to," Sheamus answered.

He sounded kind of sad when he said it. I turned to him and asked, "Will you ever see them, again?"

"Aye," Sheamus nodded, though he didn't look too sure of it.

"Let's get inside," Dean took my head and led me along.

Sheamus took a rope around Merlin's neck and led him with us to the house. He was going to tie Merlin up in the driveway, but I told him, "There are alligators around here. Could Merlin stay in the house?"

"He's trained for the indurs," Sheamus replied.

I opened the door and Dean held it so Sheamus could get Meriln in. I glanced back through the house and I saw the fridge door was open again. It closed and another Nomad Carny scurried away with more food.

"They're going to eat it all," I whispered to myself.

Dean looked at me and asked, "What?"

"The Nomad Carnies keep raiding the fridge. Seth is paying for all the food and we just brought a bunch home but I'm not sure what will be left after tonight," I told him.

"I'll talk to them," Dean said.

Sami looked at me and asked, "Where should we stay?"

"You have a room close to mine," I told them, leading the way.

They followed me down the hallway. Merlin's hooves made a quiet clomping noise the whole way. I opened the door and said, "I think Merlin can stay with you. The floors are tile so it should be easy to clean."

"Ya got a pail for 'is ur-eye-n?" Sheamus asked.

I was confused until Sami translated, "He means something to catch Merlin's urine. A bucket or a bowl or something."

"Oh. Right," I wandered off to find one.

I didn't know Dean was following me until I reached the kitchen, again. The fridge wasn't open, but one of the Nomad Carnies was already headed for it. They scurried away before I got close. Dean hissed at them, "You've got enough!"

They hurried down the hall to get away from him. I glanced around the kitchen, but I was pretty sure there wouldn't be any buckets just lying around. I turned to Dean so I could ask him where he thought one might be, but I caught his lips against mine, instead.

He kissed me harder than usual, like he wasn't sure he was going to be able to ever again. I responded to his affections by moving closer to him so I could put my arms around his neck. He lifted me up and put me on the kitchen counter. We kissed a few more times before he buried his head in my chest and said, "I thought you were gone."

"Of course not! I would never leave you!" I told him.

He looked up at me. His eyes were desperate as he told me, "No, Liz, I thought you were dead."

"Dead?!" I asked with surprise.

"You passed out while in labor. If Miz hadn't been there..." Dean trailed off.

"He was there, and so were you. I'm safe because of you. My babies are safe because of you," I told him.

He rested his fists on the table and stretched out from the counter. He hung his head so low that he was between my knees. I tried to lift his head again as I said, "I'm glad you're here. I was so worried about you. They wouldn't let me talk to you, but I called every day."

"I was in some fights. They were having trouble finding a place for me away from the others," Dean told me.

"You're here, now. That's all that matters to me," I said.

Dean finally lifted his head to meet my gaze. He leaned in to kiss me again, but we were separated when Sami appeared from the hallway.

"Sorry, I just...we really need that bucket," Sami said.

Dean helped me down from the counter and I asked him, "Where would Seth and Bayley keep a bucket?"

"Probably in the garage. Do they have a garage?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. This house is pretty huge, I'm sure they do," I answered.

"I'll find it. You go back to bed," Dean told me.

I shook my head and replied, "I don't want to be away from you, again."

Sami chimed in with, "I'll help you look."

"Fine with me," Dean said, moving aside so I could lead the way.


	46. Chapter 46

46:

Once Sheamus, Sami and Merlin were settled in their room, Dean followed me to my room. Charlotte was sprawled out in the middle of the bed and snoring lightly. She was topless but she had some underwear covering her bottom. Roman had already gone back to sleep on his side of the bed and the babies were also sleeping in their cribs.

Dean went over to the bed and pulled on Charlotte's left foot to wake her. He gave Roman's right knee a hard slap to rise him as well.

"Get the hell out," Dean ordered once the other two opened their eyes.

Roman sat up slowly and put his legs over the end of the bed. He looked like he was going without a fight, but Charlotte was another story. She shot up and banged her fists against the blankets. Thank goodness it didn't make a loud noise and wake the babies. She hissed in a harsh tone, "Why the hell should I leave? I'm just sleeping!"

Dean balled his hands into fists. He was tired after a long journey and he was not in the mood to argue. He glared at Charlotte like he might drag her right out of the room. Roman stood up and told Charlotte quietly, "We'll take the empty room by the pool."

Charlotte kept her tone low but angry as she shot back, "Fuck that! I like this bed!"

Dean took a step towards her. I touched his shoulder so he would stop and look back at me. He was seething as I told him softly, "Actually, I would like it if Roman stayed."

Dean blinked with surprise and I added, "He's been very helpful with the babies. He changes diapers like a pro and they never cry when he holds them."

Charlotte immediately countered, "Oh, I get it! I'm not helpful enough so I'm the one getting kicked out!"

I didn't look at her, but kept my eyes on Dean as I asked, "Could Charlotte sleep in here one more night? It will be much easier for her to get settled in a new room when it's light out."

Dean let out a frustrated sigh. His brilliant blue eyes were somber as he leaned into my ear and whispered, "I want to fool around with you."

I felt my cheeks get hot as I whispered back, "I'm still healing from my C-Section. We can't have sex."

Dean placed his fingertips across my hips as he whispered thickly, "I don't need to be inside you to make you feel good."

It was a very enticing offer, but I could feel Charlotte raging in silence right next to us. I whispered back to Dean, "We'll make some time for us, later. The babies will be up in a couple of hours. You should get some sleep."

Dean made a low groan of defeat. Charlotte folded her arms and growled at us, "Are you two still talking about getting rid of me?! You know I don't have anywhere to go!"

Roman shot her a gruff expression as he replied, "There are plenty of empty rooms!"

Charlotte rolled her eyes and countered right back, "And I just told you that I like _this_ bed! Are you even listening?!"

"Oh, my God," Roman groaned.

Charlotte even had an argument for that, "What?! Are you complaining to _Him_ about me, too?!"

I decided to say something before a fight broke out, "I'm just going to get into bed with Dean, now."

Dean let me take him by the hand and I led him to my side of the bed. I sat down so I could bring my legs under the covers. Dean lifted the covers up for me. Before I could lie back, Charlotte collapsed into bed and threw her arms out in a huff. She breathed a puff of air and stared at the ceiling like she didn't notice she was taking most of my side.

"Roman, you take the middle," Dean said.

Charlotte stifled a frustrated scream between the pillows while Roman stood up so she could roll over to his side. Charlotte made sure to toss the pillows at the foot of the bed while she went. Roman and Dean went to get the pillows while Charlotte seized most of the covers for herself.

Dean came up to grab the covers back, but I told him, "It's fine. I'm kind of hot, anyway."

He stared at me like he didn't believe me. Roman crawled to the middle of the bed and I expected Dean to get in between Roman and I, but Dean informed me, "Roman runs hot. You should sleep between us."

Of course, Charlotte had something to say about that, "What about me?! Am I not hot?!"

Dean pointed an angry finger at her and warned, "One more word..."

She sat back with another huff and put her arms up for emphasis. She managed to smack Roman right in the face and he had to push her hand away. He touched his nose like she had gotten him pretty good, but he was trying to be quiet because of the babies.

I tried to make myself small next to Roman so there was enough room for Dean. He laid down on his side so that he could hold me. I ran my fingers through the hair on his face and he closed his eyes.

Dean wasn't kidding. Roman was hot blooded and I didn't need the blankets at all.

:-:

"How many?!" I woke up to Seth's voice.

I opened my eyes and sat up. The early morning light was already coming in through the windows. I panicked when I realized that I had been asleep for several hours.

I went to check on my babies, but they were gone. Dean, Roman and Charlotte were also already up. I could hear Dean yelling at Seth from somewhere down the hallway, "A lot!"

"That's too many!" Seth shot back.

I went to the bathroom to freshen up. I knew the boys were probably yelling about the many Carnies arriving to fill up the house. I wasn't sure if Seth knew about Merlin the zebra staying with Sheamus and Sami, but it would definitely be a point of contention.

Once my face was clean and my hair was tied up, I went back out to the bedroom and picked up some underwear and a blue sundress to wear. I put them on while I heard Dean yelling, "You shouldn't open your home to people you don't want around!"

"I do want your people around! I just don't want them eating everything, clogging up the toilets and traumatizing my wife!"

"Roman didn't traumatize your wife! He just asked if he could join the two of you in a good old fashioned fuck-fest!"

"Oh, right! Because threesomes are normal in your neck of the woods!"

"They're more normal than your haircut!"

"Who are you to criticize haircuts?!"

I found Seth and Dean having a stand-off in the kitchen. Sheamus was wolfing down a huge plate of biscuits at the kitchen table while Sami drank a cup of coffee. Bayley was sitting next to Sheamus and watching the argument with a horrified expression. I glanced out the windows and saw Marlyn holding my daughter. Tamina was with her and holding my son. I hadn't seen Tamina until now, which led me to believe that more Carnies had arrived since last night.

Dean turned to face me as soon as I stepped out of the hallway. Seth was still trying to win the argument as he stated, "You know what this is?! This is what is called a travesty!"

Dean ignored Seth and told me softly, "You were supposed to get some sleep."

Seth looked at me and backed off a bit. He realized too late that he was being loud. Bayley stood up and apologized on his behalf, "We're sorry, Liz! We didn't want to wake you!"

I shook my head and told her, "It's okay. Really. I feel rested."

That wasn't really true, and it showed on my tired face. Sami raised his cup to me and asked, "You want something to eat, Liz?"

"Yes, please," I said.

Sami stood up to get me something, but Dean was already at it. He grabbed a plate and filled it with two of everything on the kitchen island. Someone must've gone shopping because there was a lot to choose from. I took a seat next to Sheamus. He asked through a full mouth, "Ya ukay, Luz?"

"Yes, I am. Thank you, Sheamus," I told him.

Dean put a plate of food and some orange juice on the table for me. I thanked him and he found a folding chair so he could take a seat next to me. Sami and Bayley sat back down. Seth walked out of the kitchen and slammed a door somewhere down the hallway.

I looked at Bayley and asked, "Did Roman really upset you?"

Bayley blushed as she answered quietly, "No, he was very polite about it. It caught Seth off-guard. He's been overreacting about it ever since."

I felt guilty as I confessed, "Roman told me he thought you might be attracted to him. He asked me if it was okay to talk to you and Seth about including him. At first, I told him it probably wasn't a good idea, but he made a good point that I couldn't speak for you or Seth in that department."

Bayley's eyes widened with surprise as she asked, "He talked to you about it?"

I suddenly felt put on the spot. Even Sheamus had stopped stuffing his face to observe my reply. I tried to explain without stumbling too much, "Roman didn't come to me because I used to be with Seth, if that's what you're thinking. He just thought that since I was friends with the two of you-"

Bayley stood up straight and interrupted me, "Did you tell him what Seth likes?!"

"What? No, I would never do that," I shook my head.

Bayley had tears in her eyes. For the first time since I'd known her, she was angry.

"Why did he think he had to come to you before asking Seth and I?! You're not in a relationship with us!" Bayley shouted.

"It's not like that, Bayley! He was just asking me because he didn't want to step on anyone's toes!"

Bayley put her hands over her face and sobbed. Sami stood up and put his arms around her to try and soothe her. He explained in his soft tone, "You misunderstand, Bay-Bay. Carnies don't consider sex in the usual puritanical way. When a man like Roman offers to show your husband how to bring you to orgasm many times over, it is meant to be taken as the ultimate compliment to your goddess-like good looks and intensely charming personality."

Bayley took her hands away from her face so she could stare at Sami with widened eyes. She barely managed to ask, "Do I really look like a goddess?"

Sami nodded and answered, "Roman doesn't offer his bedroom skills to just anyone. He must find you really breathtaking."

Bayley tried to hide the smile forming from her mouth as she asked, "But what about Seth?"

"Roman is super choosy about guys. He won't even give them the time of day unless he finds them really attractive," Sami explained.

Bayley nodded and said, "Maybe I should go talk to Seth about it."

"I would," Sami encouraged her.

Bayley giggled and wandered off down the hallway. Sami sat back down and took a big slurp from his cup of coffee. Sheamus gave him a sideways glance and asked, "How do ya know Ruman's bedrum skills?"

Sami shrugged and took another sip of his coffee. Sheamus just stared at him, temporarily entranced.


	47. Chapter 47

47:

I fed the babies after breakfast. Dean took a shower and found a nice pair of jeans and some old boots to wear. He opted for shirtless because he didn't like the button up ones that Seth had bought.

Marlyn left with Tamina and Bayley to go shopping for more food. Charlotte had disappeared somewhere in the house. I was sure I would get heat from her later for kicking her out of the room I shared with Dean. Roman came back to check up on me and the babies. He and I were just putting them down in their cribs when Sami and Sheamus showed up showered and dressed in search of Dean and I.

"I'm goin' ta catch a good croc," Sheamus informed us.

"I think they only have gators out there," Roman motioned in the direction of the window with his head.

Sheamus shrugged and replied, "Works tha sum."

Dean went to Naomi's room and asked her to watch the babies. She waved at Sami, Roman, Sheamus and I from the hallway and said to Dean, "I'll keep an eye on them, sugar."

Dean, Roman, Sami and I followed along as Sheamus wandered outside and into the swamp lands behind the house. Sami had provided us with bug spray, which had little effect on poor Sheamus. I watched while the guys picked up long sticks and observed the terrain. Sheamus would be very quiet while he pondered, then he would point in a direction and say, "This us the way."

We'd follow him a while, then he would stop and check everything out, again. I was fascinated by the whole thing. I had never seen Sheamus so focused on something, before. I also had no idea how to find an alligator, but he seemed to have a general plan.

"Have you been sleepwalking a lot?" Dean asked after a long space of silence while he hunted.

We were a short distance behind the others so they couldn't hear us talking. I thought about it before I answered, "Not really. I mean, the night you and Sami and Sheamus found me was the first time I've had an episode."

"Why's that?" Dean sounded genuinely interested.

I tried to think about it, but I could only shrug and reply, "I don't know."

"Is it the temperature control in the house? The nice new bed that you're sleeping on? Is it the babies waking you up every couple hours? Is it Roman being nearby?"

I shook my head and replied, "I really don't know. I've always been a sleepwalker since as long as I can remember. I've never been told that there was something that could prevent it from happening. I only just realized that it hasn't been happening that much."

Dean seemed troubled by the lack of answers. He asked me again, "Is it Roman? Does he comfort you because he's so attentive to the babies?"

I turned to face Dean and asked, "Are you asking if I want to keep sleeping with Roman?"

"I'm just asking if being around him keeps you from sleepwalking for some reason," Dean said.

I shook my head and replied, "I don't think so. I was sleepwalking when you came and Roman was still with me, then. Same with Charlotte. She's also been sleeping nearby the whole time."

Dean scoffed and argued, "I highly doubt Charlotte is reducing your stress."

"I don't know what you want me to say. Roman has been good to me and the babies, but I wouldn't say he's making me sleep well."

Dean told me quietly, "I'm not trying to imply anything. The reason I'm asking is because Roman grew up in a retreat. He's trained to have a consistently calm demenaor. He used to work with Miz a lot. Even I can't help feeling less angry when I'm around him."

I was surprised as I replied, "I didn't know all that."

"He tends to keep to himself," Dean said.

Sheamus stopped near a small body of water and crouched down low. Sami squatted down behind him. Roman remained standing but leaned against a tree to make himself less obvious. Dean stepped ahead of me and said, "Don't get too close. It may get really messy."

"How are we supposed to catch an alli-" I started.

A loud bang rang out from somewhere between the trees. Roman took cover behind the tree. Dean pushed me down to the ground and covered me for protection.

"What's going on?" I asked, just as another loud bang rang out.

I heard something hit a tree a few feet from us. Sami called out, "Why the hell are you shooting at us?!"

"Skunk ape!" a male voice boomed from somewhere within the swamp land.

There were some harsh voices like an argument was going on, then shuffling like people were running through the trees.

We waited until the sounds were gone. Dean got up and helped me to my feet. Roman, Sami and Sheamus stood up as well. Sheamus turned to face Dean and said, "Yew was mistooken fur a creature!"

Dean shouted angrily, "I'm with a bunch of regular looking people! Why the hell would they think I was some swamp beast?!"

Sami chimed in humorously, "The skunk ape is a big legend around here. I didn't even consider it until now."

Dean pointed at the tree near us and argued, "They fucking shot at us, Sami! It's not funny!"

Sheamus started laughing. Sami chuckled as well. Even Roman was cracking a smile. I didn't think it was that funny, myself. I turned to face Dean and asked, "They were really shooting at us?"

Dean made a long sigh and replied, "At me, mostly."

My eyes widened with a mix of shock and surprise. I had grown so used to the way Dean looked that I had completely forgotten how potentially frightening he looked to outsiders. Dean told me quietly, "This is exactly why I shouldn't be around you. That dick couldn've easily shot you instead of me."

The other guys went quiet. Tears filled my eyes as I countered, "So, you think I'm safe as long as I stay away from you? There are lots of ways I could die while being with any other man! Just because some people mistook you for a swamp creature and decided to shoot doesn't mean I'm any safer than anyone else! They could've easily shot Sheamus or Sami or Roman! Did you even consider that?!"

Dean clenched his jaw and made a curious expression. He obviously hadn't considered the fact that his friends were just as likely targets as I was.

I took my finger and angrily jabbed Dean's hairy but well built chest as I told him, "If you hate yourself so much that you can't believe I love you just the way you are, then that's your business! I'm telling you now and forever that you're never going to convince me that you put me in danger, or that you must be some dog ape because a guy saw you standing in a swamp through some trees and opened fire! Other people might not get you, but I'm not like them, and you can't even bother to see that!"

I turned and stormed away from Dean before he could get another word in. I figured he was going to argue with me like he always did when it came to why I should love him or not. I realized while I was trying to get away that this was the first time I had told Dean I loved him in front of other people. I really meant it, though.

After a few minutes of storming off, I slowed down and took a good look around. I realized I was hopelessly lost and I had no idea where the house was. It seemed like each Carny I had met were skilled in something, but my only skills were walking in my sleep and getting lost all the time.

I sat down on the ground and put my hands over my face. I started sobbing in the middle of the swamps. I was crying about a lot of things, probably too many things. I hadn't really had a chance to be emotional about everything that had happened in the last few weeks.

My father had turned out to be a much more horrible person than I ever gave him credit for. I had lost the mother who raised me, only to have her returned to me and then lost once more. I had delivered two healthy babies who were also in danger of being taken away by my father. I didn't know where my uncle was and the father of my babies was going above and beyond to help me and my inherited family, which was putting a huge financial and emotional strain on his own well-being.

I used to be the completely ordinary Liz Chapfield. My father was a religious leader and overly controlling, but I could at least have some time away from him while I was at school. I wasn't in sports because of my father. I had no hobbies because of my father. I doodled in my notebook and I was pretty good at history. The only bad thing that had happened was my math teacher was kind of attractive and after a single parent-teacher meeting, the subject of math couldn't be brought up in our house without my father going on a rant about how my teacher was probably the devil in disguise trying to lead all of of his students into sin.

Everything changed for me because of a decision my father made. A decision that was supposed to be a form of punishment because I had dared to get pregnant out of wedlock. When I looked back, I wasn't even sure what led me to end up pregnant in the first place. I wasn't looking to get into trouble. I didn't see Seth and think I wanted him to father children with me. All that I did was to avoid my father's wrath, not seek it out. I didn't think the temptations of the flesh were really as hard to control as my father always warned they were, but here I was, fresh out of producing twins with one guy while professing my love to another and platonically sleeping in the same bed with yet another who possibly had a soothing effect on my lifelong sleepwalking affliction.

I stopped crying and looked around. The scenery was all the same and bleary through my teary eyes. I looked down and noticed that I was on a particularly clean part of the ground. It looked like someone had brushed all the moss and leaves aside just to make this spot look nicer than all the other spots in the swamp.

That seemed really ridiculous when I thought about it. I looked over to my left. I stared at the plants and shrubbery all blended up for a moment. I didn't see the pattern of it until I had been looking right at it for a while.

It was then that I saw the _eye_.

I froze. My body realized before my mind did that I was sitting right next to a very large alligator.

Maybe it was a crocodile. I wasn't sure about how to tell them apart. I just knew that the eye was looking right at me.

The large animal hadn't moved to strike me in all this time. He or she had a good chance while I was crying my eyes out. I wondered why it had bothered to let me have an emotional breakdown without attacking. I considered that maybe it wasn't hungry, or maybe it was trying to figure out how best to snap my head off.

I wasn't sure what to do, next. If I screamed, it might attack. If I got up and ran, it might go after me. I suddenly felt quite foolish for storming off on my own. Dean always thought that he was the cause of my problems, but in reality, I was usually causing more problems for myself.

"Liz. Don't move," I heard Dean whisper from nearby.

I wanted to turn my head to the right where I heard his voice, but I resisted the urge. I just stared at the large animal lying across from me. I saw Sheamus and Sami coming up from the direction I was facing. I wasn't sure where Roman was until I felt him wrap his arms around my waist. I clutched Roman's arms while he gently lifted me up. He whispered to me softly, "Lift your feet up. Don't try to stand."

It was kind of an awkward position. Roman was behind me, lifting me by the waist with his arms. I was facing forward and my only support was his arms. He was asking me to keep my feet up, which meant I would basically be looking like I was sitting in an imaginary chair while he carried me away. I did as he instructed, though, fearing that any deviation from what he said could put us all in danger.

Roman very carefully stood up straight. I turned my head to the right and I could finally see Dean. He was squatted down nearby and he was focused on the animal. Roman asked Dean, "You got it?"

"Yeah," Dean said without looking at us.

Roman took a step forward. Then another step. He made slow but deliberate movements until we were a good distance away. I heard shouting and loud noises coming from behind us before Roman put me down. I assumed Dean, Sami and Sheamus were in the process of wrangling their alligator...or crocodile.

Roman let go of me and ran off. I slowly turned around so I could see what the guys were doing. Dean had the animal by the open jaws. Sheamus had the animal by the neck. Sami had the tail, which was thrashing and cutting his arms. Roman joined the effort by taking the middle. Sheamus pulled some rope from the back of his jeans and tried to help Dean get the jaw shut. The whole thing was quite fascinating and I wanted to do what I could to help, but the guys seemed to have a system already going.

I watched Dean struggled with the open jaws. I wanted to tell him that he looked so sexy I couldn't stand it. The hair on his head was all dirty and his blue eyes were so striking as his muscles moved to secure the animal ahead of him. I never wanted him more than I did in that moment.

:-:

I learned that wrangling an alligator takes several hours of patience and determination.

Sheamus confirmed that it was an alligator, and she was a female. We were exhausted and most of the day was gone by the time we made it back to the house. The animal was large enough that it took Roman, Dean, Sami and Sheamus to carry it together. Sheamus was practically glowing with pride. He was trying to name it and each one he belted out would receive a murmur for a yes or a grunt for a no from the other guys. He asked me what I thought about the names, but most of the ones he wanted for her were either too masculine or they were in Gaelic so I had a hard time repeating the name.

He ultimately decided on Bella because she was so beautiful to him. The other guys agreed and I liked the name as well. It was only when we were a short distance from the house that I asked, "Where will you keep Bella?"

The guys stopped and Sheamus made a weird face. He hadn't really considered what to do with an alligator after he caught one. Roman seemed confused as he asked, "You mean we're not gonna cook this sucker?"

"Why da hell'd I name hur if she was for da stove?!" Sheamus argued.

Roman shrugged and replied, "I thought you were joking about giving her a name."

Sheamus was so offended, he couldn't even speak. I tried to keep the peace by saying, "There are lots of empty rooms. I'm sure we can find a place for Bella."

"She'll need to be near a tub for the moisture," Sami said.

"Most of the rooms have a bathroom," I replied.

Dean mentioned, "The pool out back is saltwater. You can keep her in there."

"I'm not sure how Seth and Bayley are going to feel about this," I pointed out.

Sheamus asked, "Shall I put her back, thun?"

He was looking at Dean.

Dean looked at me.

I shook my head and said, "I'd hate to have you release her when you did all that work trying to catch her."

"I'll go back fur a baby won," Sheamus replied.

The guys turned around to start back into the swamp. Roman said something to Dean and he let go of the alligator. The other three wandered off until I couldn't see them or the gator, anymore. Dean came back to me and I told him, "I'm sorry if I messed things up. I should've thought about it before you guys went through all that trouble."

Dean's eyes were somber as he stared at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world. The sun was starting to go down as he replied thickly, "I'm sorry we kept you from your babies all day."

"It was nice to get away for a little while and do something different."

Dean's gaze drifted to the ground as he replied, "I made you cry."

My cheeks grew hot. It was only then that I realized he and the others must've followed me when I stormed off. I had cried for a while before I noticed the alligator. They had probably just been standing there and watching me the whole time.

"I'm sorry my blubbering made you have to come and save me from an alligator," I told him.

Dean chuckled and replied softly, "I wasn't saving you. You weren't provoking Bella."

"I shouldn't have run away like that. It was stupid and reckless," I said.

"You needed some time alone," Dean replied.

"I should've been more interested when you were asking why I wasn't sleepwalking so much. I didn't mean to brush you off about your Roman theory," I said.

"You didn't brush me off," Dean replied.

He was being very reasonable. It was weird and it made me want to cry, again. Dean made a wicked half-smile and said thickly, "I caught you staring at me, earlier."

I folded my arms and pretended to be upset as I replied, "Well, you were looking remarkably handsome using all your strength to fend off the powerful bite of a large alligator. I'm not sure what I could do at this point to top that and get you all hot and bothered."

He touched my elbows so I would loosen my arms. He took my right hand and kissed the back of it. He blinked slowly as he looked me over and said, "I'm always hot for you, Liz."

I was surpised he even had any energy left after wrestling an alligator. I asked him, "Aren't you exhausted?"

He went down to his knees and put his hands on my hips. He pressed his face against the space between my hips and took a deep breath in. I ran my fingers through the hair on the back of his head and let out a soft moan. I wanted him to take my dress off and put his hands all over me. I wanted to feel his kisses over my skin. I wanted to-

"GET SOME, BROTHER!"

The male voice called from behind me, but I didn't have to turn around to know that Dean's brother, Kevin, had arrived.

Dean stood up straight and clenched his jaw as he glared at Kevin behind me. I turned around just as Bray started laughing hysterically. Kevin came toward me with his arms out as if he were expecting a hug. He asked me dryly, "How are you, future sister-in-law?"

Bray chimed in with, "I'm a reverend. I could officiate."

I stood there without moving, so Kevin pulled me into a suffocating bear hug. He only released me when Dean argued, "You're going to blow her stitches, goddammit!"

Kevin let me go and glanced down at my groin area as he said wryly, "I heard you got the ole' smile scar to get your puppies out. I'm sure Dean's happy your hole is still one size fits most."

Dean raised his arm like he was about to punch Kevin right in the face, but Charlotte's shrieking stopped him as she called from the house, "Kevin?! What the hell are you doing talking to her?!"

We all looked in the direction of the house as Charlotte stormed out after us. Kevin glanced back at me and asked, "What'd you do to upset Char this time?"

"I kicked her out of my bed," I answered defiantly.

Kevin's eyes grew wide with a mix of surprise and arousal. I hated it when my attempts to catch him off-guard only served to inspire his sexual fantasies instead. Charlotte was too close for Kevin to come up with a comeback, but he opened his mouth like he had one ready before he turned back to face her.

"Get in the house, you dumbass!" Charlotte grabbed Kevin by the arm and dragged him away.

Bray started after them, but Dean told him, "Sheamus could use some help catching baby alligators."

"Somethin' to do," Bray mumbled to himself, sounding relieved that he was being given a task.

Dean pointed in the direction the guys had disappeared to and Bray headed out. Dean and I walked back to the house. Charlotte and Kevin had left the door wide open and Uncle Trumbly came out to greet us when we were close. Seth came out as well, though his arms were folded and he looked concerned. I realized I hadn't told him where we had gone all day.

I was still looking at Seth when Uncle Trumbly pulled me into a hug. He was sniffling and gasping like he had been crying. He struggled to tell me, "I missed you so, my little niece."

The emotion behind his words surprised me. Uncle Trumbly was not one to be very passionate about anything except the potential that the weather might become rainy at any given moment. His mannerisms seemed to be designed with the idea of avoiding human touch, and yet he was squeezing me tight and telling me how much he missed me.

When he pulled away, Uncle Trumbly looked into my eyes. I was reminded of how much his eyes were like my father's, though Trumbly's had a kindness in them that I had always longed for in Hefram.

The light changed colors as the sun started to set. Uncle Trumbly's face was colored a bright shade of red as he told me, "Your father is still in Tennesse. He's managed to take the house back using the help of a lawyer to manipulate the wording of your grandfather's will."

"What does that mean for your people?" I asked, feeling my stomach twisting into knots.

Uncle Trumbly tried to smile as he answered, "We're homeless. We're all homeless."


End file.
